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Comic Books
"I know, right? It's great! She tells me what to do, where to go, and what to think. And we almost never have sex. Like, ever. Wives are great."
— Deadpool, Deadpool & Cable: Split Second #2
Film — Live-Action
Santanico Pandemonium: Welcome to slavery.
Seth: No thanks; I've already had a wife.
Seth: No thanks; I've already had a wife.
Larry the Cable Guy: How'd Connie take it?
Bill Engvall: Let me put it this way; I'll be safer in Iraq.
Bill Engvall: Let me put it this way; I'll be safer in Iraq.
Literature
It was strange that a man among men was so helpless against a woman. He had something beaten and pitiful about him as he lay there. I thought it boded ill for us.
Sybil: And you will try to look dignified, won't you?
Vimes: Yes, dear.
Sybil: What will you try to look?
Vimes: Dignified, dear.
Sybil: And please try to be diplomatic.
Vimes: Yes, dear.
Sybil: What will you try to be?
Vimes: Diplomatic, dear.
Sybil: You're using your "henpecked" voice, Sam.
Vimes: Yes, dear.
Vimes: Yes, dear.
Sybil: What will you try to look?
Vimes: Dignified, dear.
Sybil: And please try to be diplomatic.
Vimes: Yes, dear.
Sybil: What will you try to be?
Vimes: Diplomatic, dear.
Sybil: You're using your "henpecked" voice, Sam.
Vimes: Yes, dear.
—Sir Samuel and Lady Sybil Vimes in Discworld
Antonia brought out a big boxful of photographs: she and Anton in their wedding clothes, holding hands; her brother Ambrosch and his very fat wife, who had a farm of her own, and who bossed her husband, I was delighted to hear...
— Jim Burden, My Ántonia
He could have killed Egroamaro without the spell, he considered, but he could not have survived his wife.
Wilma knew that she had cowed her husband, but she had no idea to how great an extent. He did not just live in fear of her; he lived in awe of her, as natives in certain tropical climes that supposedly lived in awe and superstitious dread of the Great God Thunder Mountain, which might brood silently over their sunny lives for years or even generations before suddenly exploding in a murderous tirade of burning lava.
Oh, we get along. She lets me have my own way, and later I find out I've done just what she wanted me to do.
Danny's father: I don't blame him one bit. If I was unlucky enough to be married to Mrs. Snoddy, I would drink something a bit stronger than gin.
Danny: What would you drink, Dad?
Danny's father: Poison.
Danny: What would you drink, Dad?
Danny's father: Poison.
Live-Action TV
Amy: Do you get the feeling that you're forgetting something important, something incredibly big and monumental?
Rory: Yep.
Amy: Are you just saying that because you're afraid of me?
Rory: Yep.
Amy: I love you.
Rory: Yep. —Wait, no! I love you too!
Rory: Yep.
Amy: Are you just saying that because you're afraid of me?
Rory: Yep.
Amy: I love you.
Rory: Yep. —Wait, no! I love you too!
Tim: What does your husband do?
Mary Whitehouse: He keeps his distance.
Mary Whitehouse: He keeps his distance.
"Too many compromises. You want to watch the karo-net game, she wants to listen to music, so you compromise: You listen to music. You like Earth jazz, she prefers Klingon opera, so you compromise. You listen to Klingon opera. So here you were, ready to have a nice night watching karo-net and you wind up spending an agonizing evening listening to Klingon opera."
— Odo, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "A Man Alone"
Dalton: You don't believe that there are beings keeping an eye on where we are and what we're doing, and know exactly what we're thinking?
Red: Yeah, but they're called "wives", Dalton.
Red: Yeah, but they're called "wives", Dalton.
"If he wants to be my husband, this is the kind of stuff that he needs to put up with."
— Nattie, Total Divas ("Divas on Overdrive")
Music
But in the town it was well known
when they get home at night their fat and psychopathic wives
would thrash them within inches of their lives
when they get home at night their fat and psychopathic wives
would thrash them within inches of their lives
— Pink Floyd, "The Happiest Days of Our Lives", The Wall
Some people work for a living
Some people work for fun; girl, I just work for you
They told me marriage was a give and take
Well, you've shown me you can take; you've got some giving to do
And now you tell me that you're having my baby?
I'll tell you that I'm happy if you want me to
But one step further, and my back will break
If my best isn't good enough, then how can it be good enough for two?
Some people work for fun; girl, I just work for you
They told me marriage was a give and take
Well, you've shown me you can take; you've got some giving to do
And now you tell me that you're having my baby?
I'll tell you that I'm happy if you want me to
But one step further, and my back will break
If my best isn't good enough, then how can it be good enough for two?
— Wham!, "Everything She Wants"
Theatre
"A word of advice: never fall in love during a total eclipse."
Video Games
"I fought fair and won the day. If only that held true in the household..."
"If we pull back anymore, my wife's gonna kill me!"
— Meng Huo, Dynasty Warriors 4
Web Original
Tenchi is more like whomever Madonna marries. Just dragged along for the ride.
I want those toilets shined so bright I can see my face in them, Tommy. I actually believe that Tom Brady goes home to Gisele and is basically her slave. After spending all week telling shitty receivers what to do and calling out blocking assignments for undrafted linemen, I bet he would like nothing more than to go home, relinquish control of everything, and let his wife kick his ass all over the place. Real Fifty Shades-type shit, with stiletto heels up his ass and everything.
—Drew Magary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New England Patriots"
She was married to Denis Thatcher, who pickled himself to death with alcohol as a form of socially acceptable suicide.
— Rational Wikion Margaret Thatcher
Paul is currently involved in a hideous divorce with that witch Heather Mills and that may be the reason for his heart drama. I'm surprised Heather didn't burst into the operating room to steal his nuts. Yeah, what am I saying? She practically already has those.
— Michael K., "Too bad he can't have the same kind of procedure to flush Heather Mills out of his life"
, "Too bad he can't have the same kind of procedure to flush Heather Mills out of his life"A fun thing about being married to someone for a long time is that you become extremely well attuned to all their annoying little habits, to the point that you can call your spouse out on them before they even do them — a move that they almost certainly consider to be one of your annoying little habits.
— The Comics Curmudgeon on Dustin
Dustin Real Life
A man can either be a happy rabbit or a lonely lion.
—Arabic proverb
Being a strong women and having a strong marriage don't necessarily go together. I've known some famous women who had husbands who were like valets.
—Alan King, Name Dropping
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine follow women.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine follow women.
— Groucho Marx
