Quotes / Heads I Win, Tails You Lose

Lynx: "You cannot defeat me, Serge... This is because denying me is the same as erasing your very existence."

Serge: (Beat) "But I just did defeat you. What are you even talking about? You don't even know, do you?"

Lynx: "Foolish young child. You actually believe there is a connection between gameplay and cutscenes. Let me shatter your delusions of grandeur."

— From The Dark Id's Let's Play of Chrono Cross, after the final battle of the first act

Dan: "Heads, I win. Tails, you lose?"

Gavin: "Yeah."

(beat)

Dan: "You lose."

— The Slow Mo Guys on deciding who is shot with a paintball gun

"Failure isn't allowed until it's mandatory."

— Shamus Young, Spoiler Warning

"Why am I even trying anymore?"

—Raiden, Let's Destroy Metal Gear Again^note For context, this is after going through one hell of a swimming level to rescue Emma Emmerich only for her to be fatally stabbed by Vamp

"Only now, have I truly won."

—Master Xehanort's defeat quote, Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep.

Billy the Kid: What I win, I keep. What you win, I keep.

(Beat)

Bill and Ted: Sounds good, Mr. the Kid!

— Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

One of these guns is an illusion; the other is quite real. I will fire the one you select into your skull. Choose now, and choose carefully.

(five seconds later)

Good guess... too bad I didn't inform you that the illusory pistol was concealing a very real knife.

—The Ace Of Spades, Vampire: The Masquerade - Clanbook: Ravnos

Mark: I let you win, because I pity you.

Jordan: Oh, did you?

Mark: I pity your miniscule fortune that you made, and in fact, you are truly the lesser gentlemen between us.

Jordan: Oh, is that right?

Mark: No. You are the better man, and that makes me the better gentleman, because I am willing to admit when I am defeated.

Jordan: What? Bu- I- Ah—

Mark: That is how it works!

Jordan: If I am the one who—

Mark: You are the better man, so that means I'm the better gentleman.

Jordan: So does that mean whoever loses, so long as they congratulate the winner, makes them the better gentleman?

Mark: No, it's if I lose, I win, and if I win, I win.

Jordan: Okay, that's good logic. The best of logic.

—Markiplier and CaptainSparklez, A Gentleman's Dispute

Heads I win, tails you lose, outta my way, I'm coming through

Roll the dice, don't think twice, as we crush, crush 'em

Now we lay you down to rest, you'll never be more than second best

Step inside, you're in for a ride as we crush, crush 'em

— ''Megadeth, "Crush 'Em"

"If you die, I'm gonna demonetize your video. If you don't die, and you make it to the end, I'm gonna demonetize that one too."

— BigJigglyPanda, VanossGaming & Company

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