Quotes / Grammar Correction Gag

Jon: We're done with this piece of... pile of shit! Fuckin' stupid 8-bit Disneyland. Woulda rather sucked Cillerenda's... clitoris!
Arin: Whoa! ...WHOA! Cillerenda? I... Ok...
Jon: [laughing] Did I really say Cillerenda?
Arin: From now on... from now on until doomsday... I'm gonna walk into Disneyland, I'm gonna be like "Excuse me."
Jon: [between laughs] I'm crying...
Arin: Excuse me; ma'am?", and she'll be like "Yes, how can I help you?", and I'll say "Could you please direct me to the closest Cillerenda's Castle that you have?"

— Game Grumps, in Adventures In The Magic Kingdom

Lanie: [examining a corpse with writing on its face] Looks like a patient lost his patience.
Castle: Also his command of grammar. "Your" should be "you're" as in "you are", that's not even a tough one not like when to use "who" or "whom".
Beckett: Do you really think that's the takeaway here, Castle?
Castle: I'm just saying whoever killed her also murdered the English language.

— Castle, "The Double Down"

"Kathryn Jean Lopez is a nationally syndicated batshit crazy columnist and blogger, former editor of National Review Online, and known colloquially as K-Lo presumably because of her obvious intellectual inferiority to the more famous J-Lo...She is known for her extraordinarily bad grammar and writing skills, which is worth pointing out since she has also claimed that correct pronounciation is an example of liberal elitism: “[N]o one in flyover country says Pock-i-stahn. It’s annoying.” Clearly Obama is unfit to govern."

— Encyclopedia of American Loons

"Okay Dan, I'm only gonna sing this one more time. Ooooohh... "if you want it to be possessive, it's just I-T-S. But if it's supposed to be a contraction, then it's I-T-apostrophe-S." Scalawag."

— Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, about grammar usage on sbemail #89^note The email had the apostrophe after the S, by the way.

Asuka: C'est dur. Je fais beaucoup errr...d'efforts. Je remercie vous. [It is hard. I'm making many, errr...efforts. I you thank (I thank you).]
Guillaume: [applauding] Not bad! Except for the thanks. It's "je vous remercie". You just got the words the wrong way.
Asuka: Damn! I'll never get it right!

— The Child of Love, chapter 7

Centurion: What's this, then? ROMANES EUNT DOMUS? "People called Romanes they go the house?"
Brian: It-it says "Romans, go home"!
Centurion: No it doesn't. What's Latin for Roman? [tweaks Brian's ear] Come on, come on!
Brian: Romanus?
Centurion: Goes like?
Brian: -anus?
Centurion: Vocative plural of -anus is?
Brian: -ani?
Centurion: ROMANI... [takes brush, corrects Brian's writing] ...EUNT? What is EUNT?
Brian: Go!
Centurion: Conjugate the verb 'to go'.
Brian: Ire... eo, is, it, imus, idis, eunt.
Centurion: So 'eunt' is...?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "They go".
Centurion: But "Romans, go home" is an order! So you must use the... [lifts Brian by the ear]
Brian: I-I-Imperative!
Centurion: Which is?
Brian: Uhhm, oh, ah, ah, ah, "i"!
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Uh, plural, plural..."ite"!
Centurion: ITE. [corrects Brian's writing] DOMUS? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?
Brian: Uh... Dative!
[Centurion draws sword and holds it to Brian's neck]
Brian: AH! AH! Not dative! Not dative, uh, uh, ah, Accusative! Accusative! 'Domum'! 'Ad Domum', sir!
Centurion: Except that 'domus' takes the...?
Brian: The locative, sir!
Centurion: Which is?
Brian: 'Domum', sir!
Centurion: DOMUM. [corrects Brian's writing] UM. Understand?
Brian: Yes sir!
Centurion: Now write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes sir! Hail Caesar sir!
Centurion: Hail Caesar. And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

— Monty Python's Life of Brian

Zuko: Hey, watch who you're shoving!
Chit-Sang: I think you mean WHOM I'm shoving!

— Avatar: The Last Airbender, "The Boiling Rock Part 1"

Randall: Where is she, you little one-eyed creh-tin?! ^note  He meant "cretin".
Mike: Okay, first of all it's "cree-tin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly.

— Monsters, Inc.

"You'll need to do this as Bob went a little mad with the hedges!" Perfect! I'll just add that to my list of... "Things that don't warrant an exclamation point."

— Caddicarus, His review of LEGOLAND

Emily: Thomas, since you're a professor of signs, I'm sure you won't have any trouble recognizing this one.
[flips the bird at him, starts walking away]
Thomas: That's more of a gesture.

—Emily in Paris

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