I still hold firm that the vast majority of humans are idiots, but to know that there's something larger and beyond us, potentially run by even bigger idiots, that's amazing!
— Amanda, Wapsi Square, "Bigger Idiots
"
"Ocean (n.) A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man... who has no gills.
— Ambrose Bierce
And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways. There's nothing so mysterious about it. He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about—a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?
— Yossarian, Catch-22
It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. If such a board actually exists it operates precisely like the board of a corporation that is losing money.
— H.L. Mencken
Decius XXIII: Do you not see the error of your ways?! The Emperor is no God — and to lump him into that obscene category is what is HERESY around here! Compare our Emperor, radiant, beautiful, magnificent, to the ones considered gods in this galaxy! Nurgle; a supernatural garbage bag. Khorne; a paraplegic sociopath. Tzeentch; an indecisive mollusk. Slaanesh; never went to rehab. Gork and Mork; literal mushrooms! Khaine; Big Daddy Calgar's personal pleasure object, Isha; supernatural garbage CAN. Cegorach; a fucking CLOWN! The Nightbringer; has no friends. And the Deceiver; who's just straight-up an idiot!
Cardinal: You forgot Malal.
Decius: He doesn't exist. Shut up about it.
Cardinal: You forgot Malal.
Decius: He doesn't exist. Shut up about it.
Priest: God, why do bad things happen to good people?
God: What? The average person has a solid life and it's been getting better almost every year since the beginning.
Priest: Sure, but... wait, are you just taking average human welfare without checking the variance.
God: Yeah, so? How would that— HOLY SHIT!
OH MAN! AH! WOW! 10,000 YEARS OF... WOW!
OH JEEZ. OH HOLY SHIT AFRICA. OHH SHIT, THE JEWS...
God: What? The average person has a solid life and it's been getting better almost every year since the beginning.
Priest: Sure, but... wait, are you just taking average human welfare without checking the variance.
God: Yeah, so? How would that— HOLY SHIT!
OH MAN! AH! WOW! 10,000 YEARS OF... WOW!
OH JEEZ. OH HOLY SHIT AFRICA. OHH SHIT, THE JEWS...
