"What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?"
[Cut to exactly that.]
[Cut to exactly that.]
— Timon:, The Lion King (1994)
Oh, no. Wait a minute! Hold it! I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong! Don't even— No! Don't look at me like that! You getting "no" from me! You understand? No, I will not ever sit on those eggs! (cut to Wilbur now sitting on the eggs) Aww, nuts! Gotta learn to be more assertive. No is no is NO. [to the eggs] Hey! Quit movin' in there!
—Wilbur, The Rescuers Down Under
Steve: Can I have the tank back? I've got a cookie in my pocket...?
Grot: We ain't givin' it to ya fer a cookie!
[ten seconds later]
Grot: Damn. He's persuasive...
Grot: We ain't givin' it to ya fer a cookie!
[ten seconds later]
Grot: Damn. He's persuasive...
"I don't know what happened. I declined his invitation, he started laughing, and the next thing I knew, we were at lunch. [beat] Did he drug me?"
— Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation
Freakazoid: Cause I-I wanted to do one of those funny things, like in... you ever watch F Troop, where Agarn says, "There's no way I'm wearin' a dress! Absolutely not! No dress!" And Forrest Tucker's like, "Yeah, you're wearing that dress! You're gonna wear that dress!" And they wipe- blublublublublub- and Agarn's wearin' a dress.
Agarn: Yoo-hoo! Loco Brothers, look who's here for you!
[cue laugh track]
[whip pan back to the show]
You-Know-Who: Oh, I love that bit.
"[Dimaga] will not be going for burrowed roaches. Meanwhile there's a TON of burrowed roaches!"
Young!Homer: Kids? Yeah right. You're not going to see a couple of rugrats holding me down.
[8 years later, Homer and Marge are holding Bart and Lisa as babies.]
Homer: You'd better not put this shot right after I said I wasn't going to have kids. That would be a devastating edit.
"Quick, someone say "I bet [Billie]'s totally on her way here right now," and then we can like jump cut to her snoring in bed."
— Walky, Dumbing of Age
"Why would I say "You'll never get me in that sweater" in this scene, and then in the very next scene, I'm wearing the sweater?"
"He's doing the thing he said he wasn't gonna do!"
— BoJack Horseman, "Sabrina's Christmas Wish"
Mac: You guys have nothing outside of this bar.
Dennis: Don't worry about us, Mac. We'll be just fine.
[cut to title card: "Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare"]
Amy Rose: Sorry, Sticks, but dirt throwing isn't my cup of tea. Thankfully, I know something that is my cup of tea.
[cut to inside Amy's house]
Amy Rose: A cup of tea.
Sticks the Badger: Why did you just say that?
Amy Rose: Remember before when I said "I know something that is my cup of tea"? I was finishing the thought.
Sticks the Badger: But you said that, like, an hour ago.
Amy Rose: Yeah, but imagine if you were an outside observer just watching pieces of a conversation.
Sticks the Badger: You see them too?! [glares suspiciously at the audience]
— Sonic Boom, Sticks and Amy's Excellent Staycation
Chloe: Lucifer, this is a ruthless drug lord with who knows how many armed thugs! You can't just walk in there with your three-piece suit and say, [Imitates his accent] "Hello, drug dealers!"
Lucifer: [Offended] I would never do that.
[Cut to Lucifer walking into the drug lord's business in his three-piece suit]
Lucifer: [In Korean] Hello, drug dealers!
Lucifer: [Offended] I would never do that.
[Cut to Lucifer walking into the drug lord's business in his three-piece suit]
Lucifer: [In Korean] Hello, drug dealers!
Ugh. This is literally going to be the worst vacation ever! [cut to Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds] This is literally the best vacation ever!
— Lori Loud, The Loud House, "In Tents Debate"
Ghost T.: And don't you even DARE read my diary! Because if you do....Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooo...A horrible fate awaits you.
Skawo: (exits room) ...We're so reading that diary.
Jurgen Klopp: So every year, the winner of the Champions League hosts a ball in their honor. I can say from experience, it's usually not very fun for the losers. But this year's different, because everybody loves Liverpool! I can feel the excitement all over the house!
[consecutive cuts to Harry Kane, Philippe Coutinho and Cristiano Ronaldo reading the invitation card]
Kane: F[bleep]k!
Coutinho: [sad sigh]
Ronaldo: Ugh! [shreds the card in pieces with his abs]
Cristiano Ronaldo: I swear, if this is a multiverse situation, I'm going to be so pissed.
Wedge: We'll need wheeled transport, one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and four sets of women's clothing.
Hobbie: Boss, please tell me you're not putting us in women's clothing.
Wedge: Very well. I'm not putting us in women's clothing.
[In the next chapter, the Rogues are in women's clothing]
Hobbie: You lied to me.
Foghorn Leghorn: Boy, I say boy, this anime stuff is garbage! You know what you could be havin' right now? You could go to college, get a degree in farming, find a beautiful big-breasted blonde woman and have three beautiful blue-eyed Aryan children, but you know what anime's gonna give you? It's either gonna let you die alone, or you're gonna get a girl who's fat, a furry, or worse, I say worse, both.
Weeb: I dunno man, Evangelion's kind of a classic, you should give it a shot.
Foghorn Leghorn: Now hwhat in tarnation is an Evangel-
["One Evangelion Later" timecard]
Foghorn Leghorn: [while marrying an incredibly fat girl dressed as Asuka with cat ears] I say, I say, fuck.
—Doobus Goobus, "Boy, I say boy, this anime stuff is garbage!
"
"Reiner: So, by being an unlikable bitch, do you think people are gonna like you ironically?
(Annie gives him a Death Glare, then flips Eren on his ass)
Eren: Why me?!
Reiner: Dude, look at how big I am. I'm a beast. (Smash Cut to him on his ass) Argh, you bitch!
Eren: I don't have a witty retort for that. That's just funny.
Princess Bubblegum: Finn! I need you and Jake to guard the barracks tonight. If this creep comes back and lays a finger on my guards, you show no mercy.
Finn: Umm... yeah. I'll... do my best.
(cut to present day, Finn and Jake are now fighting the Monster of the Week)
Jake: Finn! FINN! STOP SHOWING MERCY!
Finn: Umm... yeah. I'll... do my best.
(cut to present day, Finn and Jake are now fighting the Monster of the Week)
Jake: Finn! FINN! STOP SHOWING MERCY!
[The video depicts a safety manual illustration of a child choking on a Wii]
Bob: Yeah, like that would ever happen.
[A 'Later...' timecard appears]
[The scene goes back to the castle, showing Bob writhing on the floor with a Wii halfway down his mouth]
Mario: Congratulations, you played yourself.
of a child choking on a Wii]Bob: Yeah, like that would ever happen.
[A 'Later...' timecard appears]
[The scene goes back to the castle, showing Bob writhing on the floor with a Wii halfway down his mouth]
Mario: Congratulations, you played yourself.
— SMG4 Crew, "Mario Reacts To Nintendo Memes 9 ft. Bob"
Romani: I’m going to have the two of you deployed into a micro-Singularity. All you need to do is take care of a lingering creatures which should not exist and it’ll clean itself right up.
Mordred: This better not be the fucking Mini-Nobus again.
[scene break]
Mini-Nobu: Nobbu!
Mordred: (thinking) Damn you, Romani.
Mordred: This better not be the fucking Mini-Nobus again.
[scene break]
Mini-Nobu: Nobbu!
Mordred: (thinking) Damn you, Romani.
Saki: No evil being could ever have this much fun!
(scene change)
Akaoni: One, two, three, go! (launches Majorina into the snow)
(scene change)
Akaoni: One, two, three, go! (launches Majorina into the snow)
Blue: Ah, the Roman Republic. Perhaps the ancient world's most brilliant form of government. It's had a rough go in its later years, but with the right people in charge I bet that it could continue on for centuries to come - like this guy, right here, Julius Caesar, who I'm sure will do everything in his power to preserve the Republic.
[cut to title card: "Caesar destroys the Republic"]
— Overly Sarcastic Productions, "History RE-summarized: The Roman Republic"
Laudna: Imogen's great! She's got everything totally under control.
Matt: Speaking of which...
Imogen: (hyperventilating) WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!
Matt: Speaking of which...
Imogen: (hyperventilating) WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!
Junior: I'm serious Anthony, what I said. Promise me that you'll dummy up about this.
Tony: Yeah, alright.
Junior: You're sick, people look at you different, they treat you like a fucking nonentity. I'm not kidding. You can't talk about this with anybody.
Tony: Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course.
[cut to Janice answering a phone call]
Janice: Hello?
Tony: Uncle Jun's got cancer.
Tony: Yeah, alright.
Junior: You're sick, people look at you different, they treat you like a fucking nonentity. I'm not kidding. You can't talk about this with anybody.
Tony: Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course.
[cut to Janice answering a phone call]
Janice: Hello?
Tony: Uncle Jun's got cancer.
—The Sopranos, "Another Toothpick"
Sam Clare: I'm not selling [my Decentraland plot] until its worth at least $10 million.
Dan Olson: He sold for $980 a year later.
Dan Olson: He sold for $980 a year later.
Nimona: Have fun gettin' arrested.
Ballister: I am NOT gonna get arrested!
[cut to Ballister getting thrown behind bars]
Ballister: I am NOT gonna get arrested!
[cut to Ballister getting thrown behind bars]
Handler: You'll need to destroy Zor's top-secret submarine. But don't count on using an escape pod. We find those things at the bottom of the ocean all the time. The people inside are usually pretty dead.
(mission starts)
Escape Pod Computer: Welcome to our state-of-the-art Zoraxis escape pod!
(mission starts)
Escape Pod Computer: Welcome to our state-of-the-art Zoraxis escape pod!
