"I don't know what I'm going to say or do until I do it. I improvise about one-third of my dialogue. The director gives me a time slot and I fill it. I walk all over the script, I pick up a verbal shotgun and go berserk, otherwise you end up giving in to TV. The pressures on TV writers are so great they'll do the silliest things over and over. My job is to fight that voodoo repetition...
"You can nanoo your heart out, it would be very easy to do that. So I try to work out several levels at once, to slip in tiny innuendos. It's a little game I like to call "Getting shit through the radar." Yiddish is good because the censor knows Spanish; she knows what "putz" means, though."note
—Robin Williams, behind the scenes commentary about ad-libbing on Mork & Mindy
"It is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission."
"I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it."
— Mae West
Mom: Hey Norman, what are you watching?
<Good. Spacey. Now I'm going to ask you some questions, Spacey. You will answer me. If you answer all my questions I will give you a bottle. If you attempt to lie I will kill you. Is that clear?>
—Visser Three, Animorphs
Ifi: <I will also trade you this knife I made out of a toothbrush for a pack of cigarettes.>
Adam: [I] like how they can't actually say the contents of the bottle, due to the target audience of this book.
Adam: KA talking with her editor: "Oh, you know! It's a bottle filled with warm milk! Because Spacey has been out on the street so long, and he could use a good nap."
—Adam and Ifi of Cinnamon Bunzuh!, responding to the above quote.
Let me choke on your cocksuredness (Innuendo!)
Strip away my conscience
Tear away my jew guilt
Kiss around my sense of right and wrong
But not on it, it's sensitive
—Rebecca Bunch, Strip Away My Conscience
, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
, Crazy Ex-GirlfriendWhat most non-English majors don't realize is that under Shakespeare's flowery language and incomprehensible old-timey wordplay is a whole lot of sly references to boners, anal sex, masturbation, and much worse.
—Grace McCarthy, before listing several examples of Shakespeare using this trope.
"Watch this scene with your eyes closed, and tell me it doesn't sound like Tiger's Eye is chasing the girl down and sexually harassing her."
"Yeah we can do THAT, but whatever you do, don't dare mention that Uranus and Neptune are gay."
— a few YouTube comments on Sailor Moon Super S.
"I like that, let's make fun of the Native Americans, who gives a *bleep* about them? But whatever you do, don't *bleep* make fun of Hitler."
— Drew Carey on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, after the director told them they couldn't make fun of Hitler.
According to what I've read, "informer licky boom boom down" means something like "I'm gonna kick that snitch's ass". In Living Color! said that Snow got away with it because he was white. I think it's more because no one knew what he was saying.
"If it wasn't for that grass, I'd have kicked your... Uh, if not for that grooty, I'd have kicked your booty. ... Don't ask me what a grooty is!!!"
— Undyne, Undertale
"You will be gone, and you'll be burning in... well, you'll go to heaven!"
— Department Store Spook, EarthBound (1994)
"Blue, blue. You strange, unmasked fellow. Don't go to heaven!"
— Happy Happyist, EarthBound (1994)
"sure we can show animal heads bleeding, allude to porn and swearing, but no gays bc this is a kids show!!"
"Okay, I've got a new name for the group: Caring Relatives Are Problematic."
— Simon Cowell, The X Factor UK, following a terrible audition by the group CASYR (Care And Support Your Relatives).
Stuart Pankin: An erection...
(the audience screams)
Contestant: Things a man gets? Things that excite you?
(audience laughter)
Stuart: Uh... uh, a starched shirt...
Contestant: Things that are stiff?
Stuart: Yeah!
John Davidson: Are we still on the air?
"Often I put scenes in my stories that I know will not get past Egmont editor Bryon Erickson, just to give him a chuckle... or heart failure later on if he doesn't spot my mischief."
