What if my bones were in a museum,
Where aliens paid good money to see em?
And suppose that they'd put me together all wrong,
Sticking bones on to bones where they didn't belong!
Imagine phalanges, pelvis, and spine
Welded to mandibles that once had been mine!
With each misassembled, the error compounded,
The aliens would draw back in terror astounded!
Their textbooks would show me in grim illustration,
The most hideous thing ever seen in creation!
The museum would commission a model in plaster
Of ME, to be called, "Evolution's Disaster"!
And paleontologists there would debate
Dozens of theories to help postulate.
How man survived for those thousands of years
With teeth covered arms growing out of his ears!
Oh, I hope that I'm never in such manner displayed,
No matter HOW much to see me the aliens paid.
Where aliens paid good money to see em?
And suppose that they'd put me together all wrong,
Sticking bones on to bones where they didn't belong!
Imagine phalanges, pelvis, and spine
Welded to mandibles that once had been mine!
With each misassembled, the error compounded,
The aliens would draw back in terror astounded!
Their textbooks would show me in grim illustration,
The most hideous thing ever seen in creation!
The museum would commission a model in plaster
Of ME, to be called, "Evolution's Disaster"!
And paleontologists there would debate
Dozens of theories to help postulate.
How man survived for those thousands of years
With teeth covered arms growing out of his ears!
Oh, I hope that I'm never in such manner displayed,
No matter HOW much to see me the aliens paid.
— Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
"We're Whalers on the Moon! We carry a Harpoon!"
— Amusement Park Robots, on the "history" of the moon, Futurama
"It's like the people in the Blitz who shook their fists at the sky and shouted, 'Come on, you Zulus, do your worst!'"
— Commander Henderson, Hyperdrive
Homer: Are you sure you don't want to come? In a Civil War reenactment, we need lots of Indians to shoot!
Apu: (Beat) I don't know which part of that sentence to correct first.
— The Simpsons, "The Sweetest Apu"
You contact an expert in Third City archaeology at the University. Excited, he invites you to their private museum, and shows you a lens of black glass. Its label reads: 'One of the Chalmsley Lenses. Ritual significance.' That's archaeologist for 'We have no idea.'
Tess: What about all the dangers? Earthquakes, floods, sharknadoes? Feels safer inside, no?
Coulson: OK, hold up. The whole Sharknado thing, that's just entertainment.
Tess: Who would put a shark inside a tornado?
Coulson: They wouldn't; it's fiction, a movie.
Tess: Yeah, well, like I said, we have pieces.
Coulson: OK, hold up. The whole Sharknado thing, that's just entertainment.
Tess: Who would put a shark inside a tornado?
Coulson: They wouldn't; it's fiction, a movie.
Tess: Yeah, well, like I said, we have pieces.
— Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., "Orientation Part Two"
"We're gonna take you back, to the year 1939 when Charlie Chaplin and his Nazi regime enslaved Europe and tried to take over the world. But then an even greater force emerged, the Un. And the Un un-Nazied the world - forever."
—Time Masheen Narrator, Idiocracy
