Anime and Manga
(Happy, having just met Carla, is grabbing Lucy Heartfilia's leg and looking up at her innocently.)
Happy: Lucy, I'll give you my fish if you tell that vision I haven't been neutered yet!
Lucy (harshly): Keep looking up my skirt, and you will be.
Fan Works
"My Queen wishes to inform you that handsome Earthmen who seduce a princess of the K'mon-Gettit without marriage-bonding have their testicles boiled in black coffee!"
— Princess B'Lar Nah, Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space
"MEN?" cried the Queen, gripping the petals of her throne. "Have the minions of Mars returned? They shall pay dearly for their arrogance! I shall crush their gonads in my gauntleted fists! I shall impale their buttocks on the spikes of my heels! I shall cut off their dicks and have them tanned for use as dildo holsters!"
Buster promptly shit himself.
Buster promptly shit himself.
— Captain Proton and the Planet of Lesbians
Ganondorf: If you touch my wife... even once... I will rip away your pride without hesitation.
Vaati: Rip away my "pride?" Ugh... Spare me from your lame, fatherly euphemisms. Just say that you're going to "chop my dick off", like a respectable monster.
Ganondorf: That's not actually what I meant, but sure. I'll add it to the list.
Vaati: Rip away my "pride?" Ugh... Spare me from your lame, fatherly euphemisms. Just say that you're going to "chop my dick off", like a respectable monster.
Ganondorf: That's not actually what I meant, but sure. I'll add it to the list.
"Does anyone in this room question Katrine's right to lead us?" growled B'Elanna, her Sten gun pointing as if by accident at the groins of the Resistance men.
They all hastily agreed that Mademoiselle Katrine would indeed make a formidable commander.
They all hastily agreed that Mademoiselle Katrine would indeed make a formidable commander.
Film—Animation
"You be as quiet as possible, or I'll put one in your lap first."
— Red Hood, Batman: Under the Red Hood
Film—Live-Action
Ordell: (hearing hammer click back) Is that what I think it is?
Jackie: What do you think it is?
Ordell: I think it's a gun pressed up against my dick.
Jackie: You thought right. Now take your hands off from around my throat, nigga.
"Tee-Hee, on the first wrong answer from Miss Solitaire, you will snip the little finger of Mr. Bond's right hand. Starting with the second wrong answer, you will proceed to the more... vital areas."
—Kananga, Live and Let Die
"I want you on the next transport off this rock or I'm going to shoot you where it don't grow back."
— Agent K, Men in Black
"You bomb me with one more can, kid, and I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil!"
— Harry Lime, Home Alone
"When Lyle returns, this wedding will proceed as planned. If you do anything to upset that, I will remove your reason for wearing a loincloth!"
— Beatrice Standhope, George of the Jungle
Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, wasn't it the Sultan of Madagascar who threatened to cut off your head if you ever returned to his country?
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my head.
Chattar Lal: Then your hands, perhaps?
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my hands. It was my... [looks down at his groin] ...my misunderstanding.
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my head.
Chattar Lal: Then your hands, perhaps?
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my hands. It was my... [looks down at his groin] ...my misunderstanding.
"You hear me, you bastard? I'll cut off your nutsack and nail it to my door! Like one of those lion door knockers rich folks got! THAT WILL BE YOUR BALLS!"
— Jonas' Dad, Jennifer's Body
"Say good-bye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago!"
— Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"Let's get one thing straight, actor! I don't trust you! And if you betray us, I'll rip your fuckin' balls off and stuff 'em up your ass so that the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls! Got it?!"
— Chris, Team America: World Police
"If I see your dick one more time, I'm gonna fucking shoot it off!"
— James Franco, This Is the End
Nevada: Keep talking like this, and I can arrange so neither of you ever uses my driveway again.
Columbus: I don’t think they’re talking about the actual driveway.
Columbus: I don’t think they’re talking about the actual driveway.
"Next time, I'll deflate all your balls, friend."
— Lee Christmas, The Expendables
Ivan Danko: We are not like American police. You ship drugs to my country, and one morning you will wake up and find your testicles floating in jars of water next to your bed.
Abdul Elijah: I'm a holy man. I got no need for testicles.
— Red Heat.
Literature
A few seconds later, the power windows slid down on both sides and two heads leant out. The invective that issued forth was quite something, the gist being that if the brick were to drop and damage the duco, the two of them would separate my testicles from my body with bolt-cutters and feed them to reptiles.
— Graphic, by Shane Briant
Live-Action TV
Bo: If you go near my girlfriend, the little balls on the Christmas tree next year will have [in a British accent] a certain panache!
Vex: Come here for illegal cable, and what do I get? Threats against my junk.
Vex: Come here for illegal cable, and what do I get? Threats against my junk.
"No funny business, or I'll cut off your little hushwanote and use it for catfish bait."
— Maximus, Reservation Dogs
Video Games
"Keep talking and I'll raise your voice a couple octaves."
— Ashelyn, Jak II: Renegade
"Not bad for an ugly worm. But this time I'll rip your nuts off right after your girlfriend finishes gargling mine."
— Senpai, Friday Night Funkin'
Web Video
"If your fiancé misses your wedding once, dump him. Twice, kill him. Three times, GO LORENA BOBBITT ON HIS ASS!!!"
Western Animation
Pharmacist: I get it! You have a lot of guns!
Archer: And a knife, which I am going to push very slowly into your urethra if you don't answer my questions. Number one...
[cut to Archer staking out a warehouse]
Archer: God what a pussy. I could barely keep up, he was spilling so fast.
Lana: Well, you did threaten to shove a knife up his dickhole. Which, again, ick!
Archer: And a knife, which I am going to push very slowly into your urethra if you don't answer my questions. Number one...
[cut to Archer staking out a warehouse]
Archer: God what a pussy. I could barely keep up, he was spilling so fast.
Lana: Well, you did threaten to shove a knife up his dickhole. Which, again, ick!
— Archer
"Your penis or your door...I'm gonna finish what the mohel started!"
— Marty Glouberman, Big Mouth
