Marge: Who wants pork chops?
Homer: Sorry, Marge, this gets my lowest rating ever: Seven thumbs up.
Homer: Sorry, Marge, this gets my lowest rating ever: Seven thumbs up.
"Overall, I give it 7/10, which is the least you can give a game before the company pulls their advertising."
"In game reviews the main text is always the beef and the score is just a decoration, but we still always try to score each game as accurately as possible. But the score demands that our readers can read them properly. First you round the score down, since the first number is practically the only one that matters. A 9 means it's an excellent game, an 8 is a good game and a 7 is okay, and you can pretty much forget the rest. You don't need a 100-point scale for this."
— Niko Nirvi, Finnish game reviewer and columnist
"If you get one and a half stars on the fuckin' internet, that's like being at the Special Olympics and having them tell you, 'you have to leave'."
slowbeef: First of all, it's only got a 3.68 out of 5.
Diabetus: That's like... F minus, right?
Diabetus: That's like... F minus, right?
— Retsupurae, "Death Trap (2/2)"
"Since our game will change the face of the industry forever, here’s a unique score system that you’ll need in order to judge this game:
10: Perfect game (our game most likely deserves this)
9.0 Excellent game
8.0 Pretty decent game and still good enough for a Metacritic bonus so use it if you must
7.0 Absolute shit that only games without big publishers deserve
6.0 Not used
5.0 Not used
4.0 Not used
3.0 Not used
2.0 Not used
1.0 Not used
Please consult the above chart for this title, and any future games we send you."
10: Perfect game (our game most likely deserves this)
9.0 Excellent game
8.0 Pretty decent game and still good enough for a Metacritic bonus so use it if you must
7.0 Absolute shit that only games without big publishers deserve
6.0 Not used
5.0 Not used
4.0 Not used
3.0 Not used
2.0 Not used
1.0 Not used
Please consult the above chart for this title, and any future games we send you."
"I mean, some reviewers gave it, like, 6 out of 10. In professional reviewing circles that's the equivalent of burning it to the ground and salting the earth."
"Aliens: Colonial Marines is bad, guys. It's a digital nightmare from which I cannot wake."
"So, it's a seven?"
"No. I need you to bring me... the forbidden numbers."
"So, it's a seven?"
"No. I need you to bring me... the forbidden numbers."
— Two reviewers in Penny Arcade, "Xenotriptych"
"Why did Play Magazine give Lair a nine out of ten, and not the ten out of ten it so richly deserved? Why? Because it was just too awesome. Now, my life is empty.
"Anyone who's ever watched Olympic figure skating or high-diving (yes and yes, religiously) knows that you can break an ankle or crack your skull on the diving platform and still limp to the finish with a five. You get a five for showing up.
— Adam Tod Brown on the climax of Silver Linings Playbook
on the climax of Silver Linings Playbook"The worst of the worst from Newgrounds, the web, iPad, and other sources that deserve the full scorn that an 8 out of 10 offers."
— Retsupurae's description of the Retsufrash Playlist
"I got lost and wandered into the world's creepiest cemetery where the headstones all had star ratings on them. Freaked me out. When I got home I tried to leave the cemetery a bad review on Yelp, but as my hand hovered over the 'one star' button I felt this distant chill..."
"Giving something like Sensible World of Soccer* 95% is utterly devalued if you also give, for example, Rise of the Robots* 92%. Percentage ratings are meaningless unless you use the full range, and you can't give credit where it's due if you're pretending that everything's good. What encouragement does that give developers to produce quality? They might as well knock it out at half the cost and in a third of the time if they're only going to get another 3% for doing it properly. Of course, the market will die much faster if people get continually stiffed by crap games, but hey - there's always another machine to move to and start the cycle again."
— Stuart Campbell, on the death of the Amiga in the last issue of Amiga Power
"We all have limits on how low we're willing to go when it comes to review scores. When a game that I'm interested in gets a six from GameSpot or one of the other sites I frequent, such a score manifests a shred of doubt in my mind. Considering how skewed scores often are—I've seen many jokes about the supposed 7-10 scale reviewers employ—a game has to be close to putrid to crash below that magic threshold, right? Well, yes and no. (...) Games that score a six or—heaven forbid!—a five can still be a lot of fun. I really hope that people (myself included) can look past a score that seems a tad low."
— Tom Mc Shea of GameSpot, "In Defense of the 6.0"
""YOU SAID DIAMOND MERCENARIES 2 SUCKED, BUT YOU GAVE IT A 6 OUT OF 10! THAT IMPLIES IT WAS ABOVE AVERAGE!"
— Mr. Torgue to a game reviewer he's hired you to kill in Borderlands 2
"I found out that an 8 out of 10 fifteen years ago is exactly the same as an 8 out of 10 now. It's completely meaningless. In 2014, GameSpot's Game of the Year was Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor. They gave this game an 8. So, in conclusion an 8 out of 10 game can be Game of the Year material. Perhaps it could be a graphical benchmark for an entire generation, it could be every Call of Duty game ever made and that ever will be made, or it can simply just be Don Bradman's Cricket. Sure, yeah, why not, I mean even Sniper Elite, I've already proven was at the least an 8. Truthfully, everything is an 8 out of 10. There's no exceptions."
— Star talking about Jackie Chan's Stuntmaster, a PS1 game he found terrible, and its 8 out 10 review; "Jackie Chan is an 8/10"
""That's the polite way of saying [Counter-Strike: Condition Zero - Deleted Scenes] was a generic corridor shooter strangely reminicisent of present day Call Of Dutys (Duties?) that was so bad the finished product had to be scrapped for generating average review scores of 60%, dangerously close to the minimum score videogame outlets are allowed to publish."
—Lacedaemonius, Let's Play of Condition Zero Deleted Scenes
"Of course, I had to find out whether Dragon praised the game with 5/5 stars or slammed it with 4/5 stars..."
"Seven out of 10 - A clear indicator that either a game has nothing to make it particularly interesting, or that a reviewer has no balls (metaphorically speaking)."
"[...] and by 'skewed', I of course refer to the omnipresent traditional 10-point-scale of 7-to-9 signifying 'good', 10 being 'perfect', and anything lower than 6 having the unbridled allure of a school shooting."
The Source was like our only source of light
when the mics used to mean somethin', a four was, like,
you were the shit — now it's like the least you get!
Three and a half now just means you're a piece of shit.
Four and a half or five means you're Biggie, Jigga, Nas
or Benzino — shit, I don't even think you realize
you're playin' with motherfuckers' lives
when the mics used to mean somethin', a four was, like,
you were the shit — now it's like the least you get!
Three and a half now just means you're a piece of shit.
Four and a half or five means you're Biggie, Jigga, Nas
or Benzino — shit, I don't even think you realize
you're playin' with motherfuckers' lives
—Eminem, "The Sauce" (a Diss Track aimed at Benzino)
"Literally, we've got a half dozen perfect scores and I've also gotten the lowest scores I've ever gotten on any game I've ever worked on. Of course you want everybody to think you made the best game ever, but if we were trending at something like an 8 out of 10? I'd probably have to kill myself."
— Warren Spector on Epic Mickey's reception.
I find it fucking incredible how an eight and an eighth out of ten is considered to be unacceptable - doing something 88% percent right is a terrible strategy for keeping a job, but when you're working with something as hard as making art, it's generally a miracle that you do everything even 70% right.
— Froghand, from Review of Game Reviewers.
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