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Fiction
"It's not the band I hate, it's their fans"
— "Coax Me" by Sloan
"Worst Cosmic Wars ever! I will only see it three more times! ...today."
— Comic Book Guy, The Simpsons, "Co-Dependent's Day"
"But of course the FAN DUMB started arriving..."
—Lester, a character in the Web Comic Housepets!, who is a Monomaniac, Purist, and Perfectionist about Anime.
All the kids: Calling on, Super Star Battle Team, Star Rangers!
Little Kid 1: Red Star!
Little Kid 2: Blue Star!
Little Kid 3: Yellow Star!
Little Kid 4: Black Star!
Little Kid 5: Ah... What was it?
Miki: ...oh, yeah, it’s "Dark Star!"
Akihiko (Who is almost thirty years old, yelling furiously): Wrong! It’s PINK Star! If you don’t even know such basic information, you shouldn’t be role-playing star rangers!
Little Kid 1: Red Star!
Little Kid 2: Blue Star!
Little Kid 3: Yellow Star!
Little Kid 4: Black Star!
Little Kid 5: Ah... What was it?
Miki: ...oh, yeah, it’s "Dark Star!"
Akihiko (Who is almost thirty years old, yelling furiously): Wrong! It’s PINK Star! If you don’t even know such basic information, you shouldn’t be role-playing star rangers!
Patchy the Pirate: SPONGEBOB BETRAYED US! Aah! I'm sorry I ever started this stupid fanclub in the first place. I'm gonna get rid of all my Spongebob stuff! All of it! All of it! [pulls out underwear] All of it! I'm gonna run away! That's what I'm gonna do! Run away! [uncontrolled sobbing].
Potty: Sheesh, what a hothead.
Announcer: And now, the real Lost Episode!
Potty: Bawk! Patchy, come back! There's more!
Patchy: Really? [entire Anger Montage rewinds]
Potty: Sheesh, what a hothead.
Announcer: And now, the real Lost Episode!
Potty: Bawk! Patchy, come back! There's more!
Patchy: Really? [entire Anger Montage rewinds]
— Spongebob Squarepants, The Sponge Who Could Fly
Blue-haired Lawyer: I'm here on behalf of Final Fantasy fans everywhere with a class-action lawsuit. The fans feel you have cheapened the Final Fantasy brand and have dragged it to an unsalvageable level. You are being sued for damages to the franchise. They said you are literally worse than Hitler.
Lightning: They sound like a bunch of entitled, whiny bitches to me.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Yes they are. But they are many and you are not. We'll see you in court yet again, Ms. Farron.
Lightning: They sound like a bunch of entitled, whiny bitches to me.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Yes they are. But they are many and you are not. We'll see you in court yet again, Ms. Farron.
— Final Fantasy XIII in a nutshell. Ironically, RAB Toons, the creator of the videos, has admitted to liking Final Fantasy XIII and its sequels.
Game Freak representative: Today we are excited to announce our newest Galarian form coming to Pokémon Sword and Shield — that being Galarian Ponyta.
[applause]
Game Freak representative: It is a-
Fan: [barges in] Bring back the National Dex!
Game Freak representative: Um...ooookay. Well anyways, it is a Psychic-type, and it has the new ability "Pastel Veil", which is-
Fan: Game Freak is lazy! Pokémon's going downhill!
Game Freak representative: ...which is an ability that-
Fan: I HATE YOU!
Game Freak representative: Dude! I am just the social media intern!
[applause]
Game Freak representative: It is a-
Fan: [barges in] Bring back the National Dex!
Game Freak representative: Um...ooookay. Well anyways, it is a Psychic-type, and it has the new ability "Pastel Veil", which is-
Fan: Game Freak is lazy! Pokémon's going downhill!
Game Freak representative: ...which is an ability that-
Fan: I HATE YOU!
Game Freak representative: Dude! I am just the social media intern!
"Waaaaaay back when I started Weirdmageddon, I thought I was gonna get the recognition I deserved. All the pieces had been put into place by me, and only me. I thought you bags of unprocessed meat would be lining up to give me the credit! And you know what happened? All over Tumblr, people were blaming literally everybody but me! Sixer, Pine Tree, Shootin' Star, Blendin, Gideon - heck, I saw one guy trying to say it was Manly Dan. Manly Dan! That guy couldn't plan a fishing trip, never mind a total galactic apocalypse!"
— Bill Cipher, Halloween Unspectacular: Watchmeh, "Angry Fandom Shelter"
Child fan: Um... I really like your cartoon, and I watch it every day, and I have all the action figures, so um, thanks for making it 'cuz it's my favorite...
Izzy: [touched] Aww...
Adult fan: [shoving the child] Out of the way you little CUCK! When are you gonna put triple anal in your stupid game? I WANT it. That's what I WANT.
Izzy: [disappointed] Aw.
Izzy: [touched] Aww...
Adult fan: [shoving the child] Out of the way you little CUCK! When are you gonna put triple anal in your stupid game? I WANT it. That's what I WANT.
Izzy: [disappointed] Aw.
Real Life
"Fandom can keep something alive, and fandom can take it down."
"A Trekker is a Star Trek fan, and a Trekkie is someone who insists you call them a Trekker."
— Luke Ski
LaVoy: The fanbase is pulsing with entitlement. It's gonna take a tremendous amount of positive energy to snap them out of it.
NC: You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad with fanbases that there's no way back. I mean I know we're geeky, we obsess over a little things, and we probably get too invested, but we've gone from being bullied in our lives to being bullies ourselves!
NC: You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad with fanbases that there's no way back. I mean I know we're geeky, we obsess over a little things, and we probably get too invested, but we've gone from being bullied in our lives to being bullies ourselves!
"By the same logic used by the illogical dipshits commenting on YouTube, "Black and Yellow" can be about any one of these [Pittsburgh sports] teams note , or, it could be about a bee, Michael Keaton's Batman, a taxi, a tiger, fucking Pikachu! Just because a team purchases the rights to play the song in their stadium or arena or for promotional use, that doesn't make it about them. [...] [The song] is not about the Pittsburgh Steelers. [...] It's about cars, money, bitches, hoes, bling, smokin' weed, and haters."''
— Adam Buckley responding to the fandom of Wiz Khalifa, Musical Autopsy: Wiz Khalifa — Black & Yellow
"The lesson behind this wall of text is: There are two kinds of people who read Warriors: People who like Warriors, and Warriors fans. If you happen to be the former, stay the hell away from any of the latter for the sake of your health."
—A troper, on the Unpleasable Fanbase of Warrior Cats.
"I'm glad you are willing to admit how horrible the characters are. I also thank you for showing how much of a hypocrite you are. I shall continue to hate this video and every FF XIII video in existence. When XIII Versus and XV come out, I'll be there to destroy those games and expose them for what they are too. If you don't like it, go find another series to defend. Because I am more of a fan than you shall ever be. Go cry in a corner now and get into a university, jack-ass."
— YouTube user banglefaar (who now changed his username to "You don't know what you're talking about", his most favorite response to those who disagree with him) in a video comment
"You’re not a true metal fan! This is the allegation I have read in several metal forums over the years. It always boggled my mind when I saw someone say that to someone else. I mean, who gets to define what a true fan is? What constitutes being a fan of something at all, let alone being a 'true' fan? What the hell does that even mean?"
"My last wish for undertale is that when discussion of it fades it dies peacefully instead of morphing into a garbage cesspool"
— Toby Fox
"Angry Ghostbusters fans are so distraught over a trailer that they've turned to systematically brigading against it on YouTube, down-voting the trailer as if that will somehow make Columbia Pictures decide to cancel the film ... instead giving them even more fucking publicity in the process.
Because fans are emotional, dumb babies who feel like there's sanctity around whatever cash grab they personally grew up with. And for that reason, they cannot be trusted to accurately say if the movie is going to suck ass or be a timeless classic like Independence Day and its goddamn incredible sequel. Resurgence is — in the words of one esteemed critic — 'like seeing a fun house on fire!'"
Because fans are emotional, dumb babies who feel like there's sanctity around whatever cash grab they personally grew up with. And for that reason, they cannot be trusted to accurately say if the movie is going to suck ass or be a timeless classic like Independence Day and its goddamn incredible sequel. Resurgence is — in the words of one esteemed critic — 'like seeing a fun house on fire!'"
"The real issue isn't a lack of creativity, or amazement fatigue, it's that FAMDOM [sic] SUCKS ASS! If you want to stop caring about something, just talk to a hardcore fan of it for five minutes. Between insane theories (Morty is actually Rick) and pointless nitpicking and complaining (does ANYONE who watches The Walking Dead actually like it?), they suck the joy out of literally everything. I remember a quote that read, 'I never knew Star Wars sucked until the Internet told me.' Fandom does this to EVERYTHING. Sports teams, bands, movies, TV shows, books. Hell, I'm surprised they haven't figured out a way to ruin porn."
— Fark, on television's alleged decline.
."There's really two kinds of football fanatics out there; so there's the classy, respectful football fanatic, and then there's the moron. You wonder, 'who is he actually going home to tonight?' Those are the kind of fanatics that give us a bad name."
— Jonny Loquasto, 1000 Ways to Die
"No one hates 'Star Wars' quite like a 'Star Wars' fan."
— Matt Singer, in his article of the same name
Artist: Yeah, I drew a controversial moment in a story, but I honestly don't care at this point because the writers and editors came up with it and I honestly hated it too.
Fans, somehow missing the last part: GO CHOKE ON A DICK AND DIE YOU ASSHOLE!!111!!! OBVIOUSLY YOU ONLY DREW THIS SCENE BECUZ YOU HATE OUR SHIP SO THAT MEANS WE'RE AL:LOWED TO COMPARE YOU TO SOME OF HISTORY'S QWORST VILLAINS, UWU!!1111!!!11
....yeah, that sounds about right.
Fans, somehow missing the last part: GO CHOKE ON A DICK AND DIE YOU ASSHOLE!!111!!! OBVIOUSLY YOU ONLY DREW THIS SCENE BECUZ YOU HATE OUR SHIP SO THAT MEANS WE'RE AL:LOWED TO COMPARE YOU TO SOME OF HISTORY'S QWORST VILLAINS, UWU!!1111!!!11
....yeah, that sounds about right.
— A comment on the pencils for the infamous "The Slap" scene from Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics)
on the pencils for the infamous "The Slap" scene from Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics)