Quotes / Drunken Master

"Lot o' good that soldier trainin' did ya! I'm drunk!"

— The Demoman, after having dominated a soldier, Team Fortress 2

"Imagine if I hadn't been drunk."

— The Demoman again, generic combat quip, Team Fortress 2

"The most potent weapon of war!" (drinks)

—Union Captain, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

"Like most Jackie Chan films, Drunken Master II is a schizophrenic mix of childish overacting and manly violence coming together to make a perfect movie. He sets out to protect Chinese artifacts from falling into the hands of foreign museums by using a style of kung fu that only works if you get the right amount of drunk. To be specific, that right amount of drunk is: fucking.

— Seanbaby

Empowered: Um, 'Jette? Are you sure it's a great idea to combine drinking and ninja-ing?
Ninjette: Nahh, it's no prob. I'm a professional, don'cha know.
Empowered: Professional ninja or professional drinker?
Ninjette: Both, of course.

—Empowered

Mon cerveau n'est jamais bien sain,
->Si beaucoup de vin ne l'abreuve.
->[My brain is never in good health
->unless it's irrigated with plenty of wine.]

— Pierre de Ronsard, To his page

"Like Minions, dwarves never fight more fiercely than when they've had a drink!"

—Gnarl, Overlord

"I've never killed somebody sober before!"

— Hou, Jade Empire

"I drink to prepare for a fight. Tonight I am very prepared!"

—Vodka Drunkenski (Soda Popinski), Punch-Out!!

"Everything mankind does is much, much easier if you're ever so slightly drunk."

—The leader of the Inebriati (or Knights Tipplar), That Mitchell and Webb Look

"[Bon Scott] had lined up a couple of bottles of bourbon, some dope, somebody had given him some speed. I said to Malcolm "If this guy can walk, let alone sing, it's gonna be something!"

— Angus Young of AC/DC, describing Bon Scott's audition, Long Way to the Top: Stories of Australian Rock & Roll

"If I had been that drunk I wouldn't have been able to stand, much less give a lecture on integrated circuits."

— Yinsen (on Tony Stark), Iron Man

Like a true Dionysian, you unfocus Time while in a drunken state. Hours can pass by in seconds, or you can compress time and move through it easily - aside from the staggering and double vision, that is.

—The Philosopher, Bruce, Mage: The Ascension - Tradition Book: Cult of Ecstacy (Revised)

"I'm an even better shot when I'm drunk!"

— Mordecai, Borderlands 2

"Was I scared fighting the Hulk? To tell you the truth, I was shaking like a leaf, dear. If it wasn't for the fact I'd downed a few glasses of the old Dutch Courage at a wine-tasting this evening, I honestly think I might have called in sick"

— Iron Man, The Ultimates

"There's this bloke named Gerolt. Makes his livin' in weapons and armor and whatnot. They say his skill is the finest in all the realm. Might be as it's gone to his head, though. Folks don't take to the man, if you get my meanin'. Oh, and he likes a drink, and all. Bloody Byregot himself in the forge, though. As a young lad, he was cast out by his master for the crime of craftin' finer wares - and that while piss-drunk. Ever since, he's roamed here and there, earning his keep day to day."

— Rowena, Final Fantasy XIV

Stottlemeyer: So, what you're saying is that if I'm drunk as a skunk, completely plastered, I'm as smart as you?
Monk: Smarter!

—Monk, "Mr. Monk Goes To Vegas"