Hahahaha! It's funny because rape!
—Bennett the Sage on FAKE
Ethel: Oh thank god you're alright.
Malloy: Do I look alright? Because if I do, that means you didn't notice there's a man [camera starts revealing Bobby is penetrating him] inside of me.
Steve: [...] [To Bobby.] You are in big trouble buddy. You're gonna spend the next three days picking up litter.
Malloy: That's it!?
Steve: Yeah. Same-sex bear molestation's just a misdemeanor.
Woody: [...] I'm so glad everything turned out ok.
Malloy: Who gives a shit!? I got raped!
Woody: Uh-huh.
—Brickleberry, "Welcome to Brickleberry"
There's a serial rapist in Houston. There's nothing funny about serial rape. [Beat.] But.... What is noteworthy about this particular serial rapist is that all his victims have been men. Enjoy your evening! [Feigns walking off-stage, crowd laughs.] I can't believe you clapped about that. There's a man raping men in Houston, that's... the most gangsta shit. So far, like, seven men have already come forward in the Houston area and reported this motherfucker. Which means he must have raped thousands. That's a tough phone call for us to make. It's not like when you get raped, ladies, there's no, uh... Society don't give a fuck about men who are raped, there's no hotline for us. If a man get raped, he just gotta get up and walk that shit off, "Welp... I got raped. [Shrugs.] Caught me slippin'." You gotta take that shit to the grave! Couldn't even tell my wife some shit like that. Come home all dishevelled and shit... "Hey, where have you been?! It's 3:00 in the mornin'!" [Beat.] "...Out fuckin' another woman, just go back to sleep, okay?"
I still say men cannot be properly raped. Unless they're in prison. And most of those douchebag criminals deserve it.
