Quotes / Dirty Old Woman

Gabe: Who's this sorta oily, half naked fireman? Is he part of the family?

Grandma: Oh, no, sweetie. You just found Grandma's man candy.

— The Turkey Trilogy, Episode Three, Penny Arcade

"Would you like to lick my icing?"

— Granny Bacon (to Simon Lane), Shadow of Israphel

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

— Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

Boneclaw Mother: You sure? Shadebones here has this one nephew, and Hare's Ghost, if I were thirty years younger...
Shadebones: You're blind. You can't even see him.
Boneclaw Mother: [grinning] He smells adorable.

— Digger

Grandmother Fa: Great. She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should've brought home a man.
Li Shang: Excuse me. Does Fa Mulan live here?
Grandmother and Mother: *point to garden*
Shang: Thank you.
Grandmother: Whoo! Sign me up for the next war.

—Mulan

---