"You'd make the most... exquisite... dinner... guest."
— Baron Ünderbheit, The Venture Bros., "Love Bheits"
"Join me, Dean. The pizza's delicious."
— Death, Supernatural, "Two Minutes to Midnight"
"Don't thank me - clean up your mess. Try to bind me again, you'll die before you start. [walks away] Nice pickle chips, by the way!"
— Death, Supernatural, "Meet the New Boss"
I'm gonna spend my Christmas with a Dalek,
And hug him under the mistletoe
And if he's very nice, I'll feed him sugar spice
And hang a Christmas stocking from his big lead toe
And when we both get up on Christmas morning
I'll kiss him on his chromium-plated head
And take him in to say hi to Mum
And frighten Daddy out of his bed!
Merry Christmas
Happy Christmas
Merry Christmas to you
I'm gonna spend my Christmas with a Dalek,
And if I make him happy he will stay
He'll go whoop and whirr and twiddle his eye
And then my little Dalek will say
Merry Christmas
Happy Christmas
Merry Christmas to you
— The Go-Go's (not those ones), "I'm Gonna Spend My Christmas With A Dalek"
Chef's Father: Say, would you crackers like to hear about the time we met the Loch Ness Monster?
Stan: No, that's okay.
Chef's Father: Ooh, it must have been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of the sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the Paleolithic Era, comes out of the water.
Chef's Mother: We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat, and I said, "Thomas, Thomas, what on earth is that creature?"
Chef's Father: It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes —
Chef's Mother: Oh, it was so scary!
Chef's Father: — and I yelled, I said, "What do you want from us, monster?" And the monster bent down, and said, "I need about tree fiddy."
Kyle: ...What's tree fiddy?
Chef's Father: Tree [three] dollars, and fiddy [fifty] cents.
Chef's Mother: Tree fiddy.
— South Park, "The Succubus"
"My time among the Tzimisce has been... informative, if not entirely comfortable. We disagree on many things, such as the value of mortal life and the uses of torture, but I suspect my hostess welcomed our nightly debates. If I could have closed my ears to the sounds in her cellars, I should have been perfectly comfortable."
— Gennadios, Vampire: The Masquerade - Clanbook: Salubri
Tea With Devils
How you all laughed! Their yellow eyes remain with you, swimming in your vision, as you stagger back to the ship with the skull in the tea-cosy. The eyes remain literally, that is - they coalesce in the palm of your hand each time you open it. Devils and their flirtations. At least you have the tea-cosy.
— One of the more positive results of shore-leave in the Iron Republic, Sunless Sea
Oh, I’ve seen one all right. Even spoke with him. Came down from the World’s Edge, he did. Was half again as big as Kaspar’s barn and almost as wide. Moved swifter than a running horse, though I don’t suppose he was trying to, it’s just that his stride was so long, each step took him half a furlong. I was out on the fields and everybody else ran away, but I’ve never been any too quick, so I whispered a prayer to Sigmar and stayed put. Well, this Giant, he stops and gazes down at me. He looks a little unsteady, weaving in place and I caught a hint of ale. "HUMAN," he says, and I think my bones are going to break with the force of his voice, "IS THAT THE ROAD TO TALABHEIM?" he asks, vaguely waving one great arm towards the west. I allowed as it was. "THANK YOU," he rumbled, then he was off and away over the horizon so quick he was out of sight before the echoes of his final “YOU” had ended. Polite enough sort, though I wish he hadn’t stepped on my cow.
— Old Hob, Peasant Farmer, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay: Old World Bestiary - A Compendium Of Creatures Fair And Foul
Nurgle himself often sits in a massive chair just to the side of the mansion’s front door. From there he entreats visitors, both summoned and unexpected, to approach, share tales and questionable libations, and explore the countless rooms within.
— Black Crusade: The Tome Of Decay
Weiss: You've spent time with Salem, even if only as a prisoner. What is she like?
Pyrrha: Oh, um. Well, imagine the most evil and terrifying person you can. An inhuman monster who cares for nothing but herself and her goals. Think of that image, and now give her a mighty army of Grimm.
Weiss: [grimaces] I have it.
Pyrrha: And now imagine she got hitched—fell in love with sex, had a bunch of kids, suddenly found herself surrounded by affection, had no idea what to do and basically turned into a stay-at-home mom. Think of that image, and now give her the mighty army of Grimm again.
Weiss: I've lost the image.
Pyrrha: [sighs] Yeah, me too...
Weiss: Any advice for speaking to her.
Pyrrha: Don't accept any drinks, don't ask about her children, and don't let her bring out the photo album. You'll be trapped for weeks.
Pyrrha: Oh, um. Well, imagine the most evil and terrifying person you can. An inhuman monster who cares for nothing but herself and her goals. Think of that image, and now give her a mighty army of Grimm.
Weiss: [grimaces] I have it.
Pyrrha: And now imagine she got hitched—fell in love with sex, had a bunch of kids, suddenly found herself surrounded by affection, had no idea what to do and basically turned into a stay-at-home mom. Think of that image, and now give her the mighty army of Grimm again.
Weiss: I've lost the image.
Pyrrha: [sighs] Yeah, me too...
Weiss: Any advice for speaking to her.
Pyrrha: Don't accept any drinks, don't ask about her children, and don't let her bring out the photo album. You'll be trapped for weeks.
— White Sheep (RWBY), chapter 87
Elisanne: Why are you with Nyarlathotep?!
Heinwald: Because I knew we could not have a quiet, productive conversation with you around.
"AND I saw the big god things!"
Oh.
"...Without the windshield," she adds.
Oh.
"One of them was cool!," she quickly clarifies when she notices how distressed you're starting to look. "He put a real catchy song in my head about being an earworm, and—no lie—it helped me focus when everything kept changing."
"Was... was HE an earworm? Like literally an earworm?"
"Yeah!," she replies.
"An earworm like he himself was a catchy song, or he was an actual worm that goes into actual ears?"
"Yeah!," she replies. "I wish I could remember that damn song, though, it was like... THE catchiest song."
The Worm loves us. It will always love us, and thus it always has. It winds around the hot heart of our home star. It winds around every infinitesimal loop of genetic information. It provokes a shuddering series of cataclysms in the planetary crust of our home, but when our star grows cold, that cataclysm will warm us. We understand so much more. We will always be what we were going to be, wound tight in the love of the Worm.
—The Future event, Stellaris
Dawn: So… let me see if I got this right. You are some sort of being far beyond my comprehension, of immense power, and you're using it to have chats over tea?
Blanche: Correct. I've spent countless millennia moving ever so slowly down this path, learning how to be human.
—Interview
with Entity 140, "Blanche", The Backrooms
with Entity 140, "Blanche", The BackroomsDidn't we have a lovely time the day we met Cthulhu?
We played on the sand! We got rid of Nan! It couldn't have been better planned!
The next time I see that deity, I'll shake him by the tentacle -
I'll call him my friend, I'll thank him again, and buy the old bugger a pint!
— "Margate Fhtagn" (The Men That Will Not Be Blamed for Nothing)
