Quotes / Deadpool (2016)

Quotes from the films Deadpool and Deadpool 2, their marketing, and their music.

For quotes from the Deadpool comic books, see here.

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Deadpool

"I've given Deadpool every chance to join us. But he'd rather act like a child. A heavily armed child. When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man?"

— Colossus, Deadpool (2016)

Deadpool: Finish fucking her the fuck up!
Colossus: Language, please!
Deadpool: Suck a cock!

— Colossus and Deadpool, Deadpool (2016)

Francis: Did you really think there was a cure... for that?
Wade: ...What?
Francis: You heard me.
Wade: No. No! Agh! So, you mean to say, after all this, you can't fix me?

— Deadpool and Francis Freeman/Ajax

Deadpool 2

"From the studio that brought you 27 Dresses and The Devil Wears Prada."

— Trailer, Deadpool 2

"From the studio that killed Wolverine."

— Final trailer, Deadpool 2

"Doing the right thing is messy. But if you want to fight for what's right, sometimes, you have to fight dirty. And that is why Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is pure pornography."

— Deadpool, Deadpool 2

Domino: Domino. I'm lucky.
Wade: Luck isn't a superpower. It's certainly not very cinematic!
Domino: Yes it is.
Wade: Let's meet in the middle and say no, it isn't.

— Deadpool 2

Headmaster: All you dirty mutants are gonna rot in hell with the boy! Your souls are beyond redemption! [...] Your day of reckoning is here!
Dopinder: [crashes his taxi into the headmaster, killing him instantly]

— Deadpool 2

"Fuck Wolverine. First, he rides my coattails with the R rating. Then, the hairy motherfucker ups the ante by dying. What a dick! Well guess what, Wolvie? I'm dying in this one, too."

— Deadpool, Deadpool 2

"I know what you're thinking: 'I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home.' But that's where you'd be wrong. That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. And, believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. True story. And every big family film starts... with a vicious murder. Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7... Holy shit-pickles, that guy's on fire! That's not CGI, folks. He's actually on fire. Yeah."

— Deadpool, Deadpool 2

"What do you get when you take 8 feet of chrome, one pinch of courage, a cup of good luck, a dab of racism, a splash of diabetes, and a wheelbarrow full of Stage 4 cancer? Answer: A family. See? I didn't lie what kind of film this was. If there's anything you take away today — other than the need to Google "What the fuck is Dubstep?" — it's that we all need to belong to someone."

— Deadpool, Deadpool 2

"Ashes" by Céline Dion

What's left to say?
These prayers ain't working anymore
Every word shot down in flames
What's left to do with these broken pieces on the floor?
I'm losing my voice calling on you

'Cause I've been shaking
I've been bending backwards till I'm broke
Watching all these dreams go up in smoke

Let beauty come out of ashes
Let beauty come out of ashes
And when I pray to God all I ask is
Can beauty come out of ashes?

Can you use these tears to put out the fires in my soul?
'Cause I need you here, woah

'Cause I've been shaking
I've been bending backwards till I'm broke
Watching all these dreams go up in smoke

Let beauty come out of ashes
Let beauty come out of ashes
And when I pray to God all I ask is
Can beauty come out of ashes?

Deadpool: Céline! That was amazing! That was the most beautiful performance I've ever seen in my life!
Céline: Thank you so much! Thank you!
Deadpool: No, thank you... We need to do it again.
Céline: Okay. Why?
Deadpool: Well... it's too good. Yeah, this is... this is Deadpool 2, not Titanic. Alright. You're at like an 11. We need to get you down to a 5, 5-and-a-half tops. Just phone it in.
Céline: Listen, this thing only goes to eleven. So beat it, Spider-Man!
Deadpool: God, I should’ve asked N Sync.

"You Can't Stop This Mother F***er"

Fighting dirty, fighting dirty, fighting dirty, fighting dirty
Fighting dirty, fighting dirty, fighting dirty, fighting dirty

You can't stop him, he's The Juggernaut
You can't stop this mother fucker

Holy shit balls, holy shit balls, holy shit balls, holy shit balls
Holy shit balls, holy shit balls, holy shit balls, holy shit balls

Oh holy shit balls, oh holy shit balls, oh holy shit balls, oh holy shit balls
Oh holy shit balls, oh holy shit balls, oh holy shit balls, oh holy shit balls
Oh holy shit balls, oh holy shit!

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