"This was the story of Howard Beale, the first known instance of a man who was killed because he had lousy ratings."
—Narrator, Network
"2X2L calling CQ. 2X2L calling CQ. 2X2L calling CQ. New York. Isn't there anyone on the air? Is there anyone on the air?
Is there... anyone?"
Is there... anyone?"
"We open on the studios at Gotham City’s Channel 5 News, and right away, we see that whoever does casting for this station has made a pretty crucial error. There are two anchors, and they both have bird-themed names. Seriously, you’re already tempting fate by calling it the Early Bird News; having further avian themes involved in your production is basically asking to be stabbed by an umbrella. I realize that it’s easy for me to say this as an outside observer, but if you’re a famous person in Gotham City, you’re going to want to have the most generic name possible, and you especially want to avoid anything having to do with birds, clowns, playing cards, cats, Egypt, eggs, the number two, days of the week, books or writing of any sort, any kind of plant, any kind of animal, music or words. Just a heads up."
—Chris Sims on
Batman: The Brave and the Bold #191
Batman: The Brave and the Bold #191Ron the cameraman: Um, Mike the reporter is dead, so this is Ron the camera man. A nucklear bomb was detonated in Disney Land. Thousands are dead. The one who did this was a blonde woman. She's killing every-oh god it's her!
Larxene: I DEMAND FUNNEL CAKE!
Larxene: I DEMAND FUNNEL CAKE!
A camera crew from Channel 3
Arrived in town to give
A live report. At this they failed,
Because they didn't live.
Arrived in town to give
A live report. At this they failed,
Because they didn't live.
"I thought Syria was a controlled society," Blancanales commented. "If there were a coup in progress, would the regime allow news broadcasts?"
Powell laughed. "Who's talking about news? It's the jive line that I got to hear. Or the absence of jive. The music changes for a coup. If Hafez is dead, it'll either be upper music or downer music. If it's a serious coup, there'll be patriotic songs, military marches. If it's a very serious coup, you might hear shooting on the radio. Heard that one time. Deejay's rapping right along, playing pop rock and bebopping, then it's a Shootout in Studio RKO."
Powell laughed. "Who's talking about news? It's the jive line that I got to hear. Or the absence of jive. The music changes for a coup. If Hafez is dead, it'll either be upper music or downer music. If it's a serious coup, there'll be patriotic songs, military marches. If it's a very serious coup, you might hear shooting on the radio. Heard that one time. Deejay's rapping right along, playing pop rock and bebopping, then it's a Shootout in Studio RKO."
— Able Team, "Rain of Doom"
WDBJ News anchor: We interrupt our CBS presentation for our breaking news here at WDBJ. Our general manager, Jeffery Marks has the details.
Jeffery Marks: Well, It's my very very sad duty to report that both Alice Parker and Adam Wards have both died from the shooting. We don't know who the suspect is.
Jeffery Marks: Well, It's my very very sad duty to report that both Alice Parker and Adam Wards have both died from the shooting. We don't know who the suspect is.
—From the tragic WDBJ News coverage story.
...and taking a look at the long-range forecase: continued snow...darkness...and extreme cold. This is Howard Handupme...good night......goodbye.
— Dinosaurs, "Changing Nature"
"Folks, there is some sort of electrical disturbance in the stands. Metalbender cops are dropping like bumbleflies. There appear to be masked members of the audience wielding strange devices on their hands. One of them is in the booth with me right now, folks! He is leveling one of those glove devices at me now, and I believe he is about to electrocute me! I am currently wetting my pants!"
— Shiro Shinobi right before being electrocuted unconscious by terrorists, The Legend of Korra
Fanfic Author: Honestly, I don't really buy into that non-sense, particularly since well, you can't keep stuff like that going very well for twenty years, footage will, one way or another get out. I go with the general idea that at first, Endbringer Fight Footage was censored, but that went down the drain after Behemoth attacked NYC and you had the NBC, ABC, and CBS literally give a blow-by-blow of the attack live as those three news broadcasting groups, the largest in the United States are all based in New York City. After that...even Cauldron went "You know what? Fuck it, these things get recorded."
Space Battles Commenter: Now I have the mental image of Behemoth making a Bee-line for Rockefeller Plaza and the Today Show hosts refusing to GTFO in favor of keeping the cameras rolling, even as the cameras in Studio 1A can see the Endbringer right out the window.
— discussion in the SpaceBattles.com thread for Twisted.
Jane: ...and we've been unable to determine at this time how many have been killed in the recent attacks on Mars by Earthgov forces. President Clark has announced that the attacks will continue until the Mars Provisional Government accedes to martial law. So far, there's been no reaction from any of the outer colonies concerning these attacks...
Rick: [interrupts and takes over the broadcast] I'm sorry. Jane, I'm sorry to jump in like this, but we have to... the colonies at Orion VII and Proxima III have just broken away from the Earth Alliance in protest over the bombing of Mars. They're setting themselves up as independent states until such time as President Clark is impeached.
Jane: Rick, don't do this.
Rick: Clark doesn't want this information released, but we have to go with this now because I don't know how much longer we can stay on the air. Armed troops have begun moving in on the ISN Broadcast Center here in Geneva; we just saw them coming around the corner. We're trying to get a camera down there to document what's going on. I-I can hear gunfire now, up here on the 14th floor. Listen to me. There's information you don't have. What's been going on for the last year, we haven't been allowed to tell you. We have... [an explosion rocks the newsroom, causing rubble to fall] Everyone, get down!
[The broadcast cuts out; Snowy Screen of Death followed by ISN logo]
Rick: [interrupts and takes over the broadcast] I'm sorry. Jane, I'm sorry to jump in like this, but we have to... the colonies at Orion VII and Proxima III have just broken away from the Earth Alliance in protest over the bombing of Mars. They're setting themselves up as independent states until such time as President Clark is impeached.
Jane: Rick, don't do this.
Rick: Clark doesn't want this information released, but we have to go with this now because I don't know how much longer we can stay on the air. Armed troops have begun moving in on the ISN Broadcast Center here in Geneva; we just saw them coming around the corner. We're trying to get a camera down there to document what's going on. I-I can hear gunfire now, up here on the 14th floor. Listen to me. There's information you don't have. What's been going on for the last year, we haven't been allowed to tell you. We have... [an explosion rocks the newsroom, causing rubble to fall] Everyone, get down!
[The broadcast cuts out; Snowy Screen of Death followed by ISN logo]
— Babylon 5, "Severed Dreams"
Anchorman 1: Much closer to home, the Adler Nuclear Facility is under attack by — HEY — WHAT WAS THAT?!
Anchorman 2: LIZARDS! GIANT LIZARDS!! THEY'RE INVADING THE NEWSROOM!
Anchorman 1: LOOK OUT! IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!!
Anchorman 2: LIZARDS! GIANT LIZARDS!! THEY'RE INVADING THE NEWSROOM!
Anchorman 1: LOOK OUT! IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!!
Kent Brockman: A mysterious affliction has descended upon Springfield. Citizens of every age, race and catchphrase are mysteriously transforming into bald, pear-shaped doofi.
(a Homer-fied Mr. Largo belches onto Kent, turning him into another Homer clone)
Homer-Kent: News is stupid! Somebody put on wrestling!
—The Simpsons, "Treehouse of Horror XXXIV"
