Quotes / Dead Artists Are Better

"We gonna drop this next bomb for a money-makin' playa that ain't with us no mo'."
"Yeah, Notorious BIG."
"Hell no! We gonna do this for a gangbanging thug that never seen it comin'."
"Yeah, Tupac Shakur!"
"Nah bitch! I'm talkin' 'bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit."
"What? Falco!?"

— Bloodhound Gang, intro to "Mope"

Diane: This happens to be a great artist!
Sam: If he's a great artist, what's he doing alive?

— Cheers

Never age. Never die. Live forever in that one last white-hot moment, when the crowd screamed.

When every note was a heartbeat. Burn across the sky.

You will never grow old. They will never say you died.

That’s the deal. You will be the greatest musician in the world.

Live fast. Die young.

— Soul Music

David Morgan-Mar: So... in order to maintain my popularity, I have to stay dead?

Head Death: LOOK AT HOW IT WORKS FOR OTHER ARTISTS. EMILY DICKINSON. VAN GOGH. ELVIS.

— Shown in Irregular Webcomic! in this strip

Envy feeds upon the living, after death it is silent.

— Ovid

We all know dead rappers get better promotion.

— Jadakiss

“Men are never convinced of your reasons, of your sincerity, of the seriousness of your sufferings, except by your death.”

— Albert Camus, The Fall

"Genius is never understood in its own time."

— Calvin and Hobbes

Some are born posthumously.

—Friedrich Nietzsche, The Antichrist, Foreword

"A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke."

— Max Eastman

"That was a good career move."

—Gore Vidal on Truman Capote's death

"Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground."

— John Lennon

"Elvis Presley should've been murdered in 1957; someone should've walked up to Elvis in 1957 with a .44 magnum, put the barrel of the gun right at his brainstem and pulled the trigger...so you could remember Elvis in a good way. Wouldn't it be nice to remember Elvis thin, with a big head of hair? Maybe that gold lame suit; wouldn't that be nice? Because how do you remember Elvis? You don't remember Elvis. He was found on the toilet, with his pants around his ankles and his big, fat, hairy, sweaty, king-of-rock-and-roll ass exposed to the world, and his final piece of kingly evidence floating in the toilet behind him."

—Denis Leary

"Certainly, when somebody takes their own life, it's always a tragedy, especially when it's a guy who was 27 and obviously had a lot of things going for him. Having said all that, [Jonathan] Brandis' death has unfortunately triggered yet another case of that phenomenon known as Dying Young Retroactively Makes You More Talented. From the way his fans talk about him on message boards to this day, you'd think the world had lost the next Olivier. This is a bit much, given that his primary claim to fame was as the most annoying character on a mediocre show that only lasted three seasons. (Seriously, prior to his death, reviewers mostly described Brandis' SeaQuest character as a dopier version of Wesley Crusher.)"

— The Agony Booth's recap of The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter

"You see a painter has so much more talent when he's dead. Indeed the deader he is, the better he is."

—Basil Thorpe, Is He Dead?

Wife: Hey, did you get Gary Coleman's autograph? I can get a small fortune for it on eBay.
The Dude: Right, a small fortune. Say, aren't those things more valuable after the person is, um... deceased?
Wife: Yes. Why?
The Dude: No reason. Can I borrow your computer?

—Postal 2

Lisa: $250?! But I need that album to honor the memory of Bleeding Gums Murphy!

Comic Book Guy: He's dead? Well, why didn't you say so? [makes it $500 instead]

—The Simpsons, "'Round Springfield"

"When I die, you'll love me."

—Lil Peep, moments before his death from drug overdose.

Millionare: Are your paintings worth anything?
Painter: No.
Millionare: [stabs the painter and takes the painting] They are now!
Painter: Finally.

—5 Second Films, "Art Lover"

Great, so you made an artistic film. What are we supposed to do, kill you? Only a dead artist makes money. We'll only make money on this picture if you die.

—Universal executive to Dennis Hopper on The Last Movie.

At the record company meeting

On their hands - a dead star

And oh, the plans they weave

And oh, the sickening greed

—The Smiths, "Paint A Vulgar Picture"

L'unica certezza è che finisco male^note The only certainty is that I'll have a terrible end
Muore Caparezza, tutti al funerale^note Caparezza dies, everybody goes to the funeral
È paradossale ma io non vengo, non ci tengo^note It's paradoxical but I'm not coming, I don't care about it
Mamma, quanti dischi venderanno se mi spengo!^note My God, just how many records I'll sell if I die?

—Caparezza, "Jodellavitanonhocapitouncazzo"

And my problem?

We glorify those, even more, when they...

My opinion, our culture can treat a loss like it's a win

and right before we turn on them

We give them the highest of praise, and hang their banner from a ceiling

Communicating, further engraving

An earlier grave is an optional way

No

—Twenty One Pilots, "Neon Gravestones"

Dead artists' work shoots up in price
So am I then wrong to surmise
That the value of our flat will increase
If our painter and decorator dies?

— A poem by Karl Pilkington

Everyone now says he was a genius and brilliant and the greatest of all time. Whatever. I was there. Back in 2001, Michael Jackson was treated as a ridiculous, pathetic freak of nature who hadn't done anything worthwhile in like twenty years. Yet now he's dead [and] everyone's like: "Oh he was the greatest ever, meant so much to me". I bet you most to all of them were crapping on the guy just as much as anyone.

— Todd in the Shadows

"Does someone have to DIE to trend? Geez!"

— Wayne Knight, responding to erroneous stories of his death in 2014.

John: I fear that, as a recording artist, Biggie has finally realized what being dead really means.

Lennon and Kurt: An increase in sales?

John: Yep, that's as satirical as we're gonna get here, folks.

— House Of Rock

"Greatness is never appreciated in youth, called pride in midlife, dismissed in old age and reconsidered in death."

— Lady Morella, Babylon 5, "Point of No Return"

Beryl was on another level
When she got her Booker medal, she was dead in her grave
After all she gave

— Mark Knopfler, "Beryl"

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