I don't want to get too heavily philosophical here, but the sad truth is that this game perfectly reveals how a lot of guys wish that sexual relationships really worked: You'd just click in the right place, and: Bingo! Score! No need for all that ... talking.
—Dave Barry in Cyberspace
You consult your SWAG REGISTRY and select from it a beautiful FANCY SANTA. An excellent choice! She gains a few HUSBAND-MATERIAL PIPS on her BROACH OF THE CHAPERON'S DERELICTION. It is time to select a COURTSHIP ACTION.
"You're kidding. They make non-porn versions of games like that? Wow. That's... really sad."
Peach: "Hey! Who's picking these responses for me, anyway?! I'm not marrying this dork! I shouldn't even be having this conversation anyway! I came to save Tippi! Where is she?!"
Francis: "Tippi? Hmm... Tippi... Tippi..." (checks Nerr2Babe commands for Tippi) "There's no Tippi command here! What is she talking about?!"
Peach: "That's it! I've had it! You'd better bring her out now!"
Nerr2Babe Interface: CMD/Pixls/Boomer — Peach used Boomer! Boomer exploded!
Francis: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY GRAPHICS CAAAAAAAAAAARD!!"
Francis: "Tippi? Hmm... Tippi... Tippi..." (checks Nerr2Babe commands for Tippi) "There's no Tippi command here! What is she talking about?!"
Peach: "That's it! I've had it! You'd better bring her out now!"
Nerr2Babe Interface: CMD/Pixls/Boomer — Peach used Boomer! Boomer exploded!
Francis: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY GRAPHICS CAAAAAAAAAAARD!!"
— The end of the Dating Sim parody in Super Paper Mario
