Quotes / Cutting the Knot

Sebastian: The man refuses to take us in his carriage no matter how much we offer.
Ciel: Then ask him how much the carriage costs.

— Black Butler

Raithe: Have you ever done anything that did not end in violent death?
Caine: Sure, lots of stuff. I just can't think of any right now.

— Blade of Tyshalle, by Matt Stover

When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.

—Robin and the Seven Hoods

Drake: Can you help us please? Our keys are locked in the car.
Tow Truck Guy: Let me see what I can do. [smashes car window with a hammer]
Drake: Well we could've done that!
Tow Truck Guy: Why didn't ya?

— Drake & Josh

Solve a man's problems with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime!

— Belkar Bitterleaf, The Order of the Stick

Yahtzee: I don't think this did enough for this 'masterpiece edition' Myst. I think they also should've given you a gun, and you could just shoot all the puzzles. I mean, the Hitman series is basically just adventure games for the impatient. So there are puzzles: You carefully arrange a really impressive accidental death, like making sure to drop a chandelier on someone at the exact right moment, or swapping a fake gun for real one during the theatrical performance, or—! You can just shoot them! With a gun! Or strangle them to death. That's—that's good game design. That's what all adventure games should aspire to. See, imagine if this game had a flamethrower. Games are all about "choice" these days, aren't they? So, maybe we could choose to solve this puzzle, or atomize it!
Gabriel: Every game needs the BFG9000.

—Let's Drown Out Real Myst

Steve the Avatar: As the key that was stolen is on the corpse of Number 4, we can rightfully conclude that he was the murderer of Number 7.
Robo-Dupre: I should like to criticize your methodology, master, but I cannot fault your efficiency.

— Let's Play Ultima VII Part 2: Serpent Isle, after using Mass Death on all the numbered automatons in the Temple of Logic

Noe: I have been summoned. Ask your...
K'seliss: I don't know if you're human or demon or what, but whatever you are, is having your throat ripped out fatal to you?
Noe: ...Yes.

—Goblins, here.

Fools ignore complexity. Pragmatists suffer it. Some can avoid it. Geniuses remove it.

—Alan Perlis

Bra'tac: [contemplating how to destroy a shield generator] First, we must rappel several levels down to the core. Then we must take our staff weapons and—
Col. O'Neill: [Arms two grenades and tosses them down. The generator explodes.] Grenades.

—Stargate SG-1

"You were supposed to disconnect that thing, not rely on Gan to tear it loose with his teeth!"

—Vila, Blake's 7

Pepper: Ooh, what's that? Is it a little device that's going to pick the lock?
Coulson: You might want to step back.[the lock explodes]

—Iron Man

A man who bench-presses 450 pounds is never trapped anywhere

—4 Medals We Totally Needed for the Sochi Olympics, on bobsledder Johnny Quinn literally tearing a stuck door a new one, Cracked

BMX Bandit: Okay Angel Summoner, the kidnappers have the hostage in that warehouse there. But I've got a plan!
Angel Summoner: Okay BMX Bandit, let's hear it.
BMX Bandit: I ride in through that window using my BMX and spin my rear wheel, kicking some mud into their faces. While they're distracted, I'll pop a wheelie, knocking the guns out of their hands! Then you go in and untie the girl.
Angel Summoner: ... Right. Or, I could just summon a horde of angels to sort it out for us.

—That Mitchell and Webb Look

Steve: You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play. To lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.
Tony: I think I would just cut the wire.

— The Avengers (2012)

Akira: You...figured out who's the [Stand] user. How?
Okuyasu: It was easy.
Akira: Tell me already!
Okuyasu: I was gonna beat the shit out of both of you and sort it out later. That deduction stuff is for the birds.

— JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable

The ultimate answer to intrigue and subtlety.

— Flavor Text on Impervious Greatwurm, a building-sized monster with stats five times that of the average creature, Magic: The Gathering

"Alexander the Great solved the Gordian knot by cutting it with his sword. Well, I'm great. What's more is I would have the brains to solve it without cheating. I could do better than Alexander the Great. Okay, I admit, that's a tall order, and I'm not in the greatest position to be making that claim at the moment, but c'mon, my name's Gordon. As if I can't solve a Gordian knot. See, by cutting the knot in half, that makes Alexander the Great look kinda dumb, because then everyone thinks he can't solve it, he can only smash things with his sword. I mean, yeah, that worked, but if you really wanna deify yourself, you solve the knot just to show you can, then you cut people's heads off."

— Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

Veronica: Chris, the data transfer's almost complete!
Chris: How do I stop it?
Veronica: You need to find a way to shut down the server. There may be some transformer relays you can—
Chris: *bang bang bang*
Veronica: Okay...that worked. Gonna be some pissed computer techs up here, but—
Chris: Cry me a river.

— Resident Evil 7: Biohazard - Not a Hero

Farmer: Oh, Crash...the farmer's market is tomorrow and my Wumpa Trees won't grow, for my orchard is riddled with greedy worms! If you rid my land of these pests, I'll give you this Power Crystal.
Dr. Neo Cortex: (shoots the farmer with a Ray Gun and takes the crystal anyhow) I'm an evil scientist, what do you expect? This isn't a game.

— Crash Twinsanity

Picking a lock takes an immense amount of skill and practice. Breaking it with a hammer takes about three seconds.

— Brute Force Solution Flavor Text, Path of Exile

Sloth: Fighter, listen! You must learn to use your mind as well as your blades.
Fighter: Right!
(Fighter suddenly massacres Sloth with his sword-chucks; after a Beat Panel, Sloth falls apart.)
Fighter: My brain said this was faster.

— 8-Bit Theater

Janeway: This thing has been driving me crazy. You said you knew the solution. Prove it.

(Seven takes the Sheer Lunacy and presses a few buttons, powering down the device)

Janeway: Seven, how'd you do that?

Seven: I scanned the device. Its mechanism operates on a simple fractal regression.

Tom: You scanned it? That's cheating.

Seven: Cheating is often more efficient.

Janeway: If you can't solve a puzzle, cheat. If you can't out-think a Think Tank, don't try.

— Star Trek: Voyager, "Think Tank"

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