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    Film — Live-Action 

"Did they train you to be this vague, or is it a gift?"
Julia Fang, The Art of War

Informant: So, business?
Danny: Business.
Rusty: A doctor, who specializes in skin diseases, will dream he has fallen asleep in front of the television. Later, he will wake up in front of the television, but not remember his dream.
Informant: Would you agree?
[Linus is thoroughly confused]
Danny: If all the animals along the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween... would fall... on the same day.
Rusty: Mm.
Informant: Yeah. When I was four years old, I watched my mother kill a spider... with a tea cozy. Years later, I realized it was not a spider — it was my Uncle Harold.
Linus: ...Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face, stars fill my dreams.
Ryan: [Face Palm]
Linus: I am a traveler in both time and space, to be where I have been.
[moments later, outside the restaurant]
Rusty: Kashmir?
Danny: Is that your idea of making a contribution?
Rusty: We hadn't even started. We ain't even got to the terms yet.
Danny: We came this close to losing that.
Linus: Hey, I don't even understand what happened in there. What did I say?
[Danny and Rusty stare at him incredulously for a moment]
Danny: You called his niece a whore.
Rusty: A very cheap one.
Linus: What!?
Danny: She's seven.

"You're not our charge, but know this: A clown who doesn't finish his party act can never rest, and a joke is never funny the second time round."
The Motley, Stitches (2012)

    Literature 

Harry: I know someone who can help. Only she's totally unable to help me.
Murphy: You're enjoying this. You just love to dance around questions and spring surprises when you know something the rest of us don't.
Harry: It's like heroin for wizards.

"I respond to three questions," stated the augur. "For twenty terces I phrase the answer in clear and actionable language; for ten I use the language of cant, which occasionally admits of ambiguity; for five, I speak a parable which you must interpret as you will; and for one terce, I babble in an unknown tongue."

"Ah, native guides who refuse to explain themselves, either out of a sense of the dramatic or due to an imp of the perverse. Those are my favorite kind."
Jonathan Healy, Sweet Poison Wine

Cuff: Weaver. You're doing that crazy mastermind thing again.
Weaver: Which crazy mastermind thing?
Cuff: Where you talk to the other masterminds and one of you leaves something unsaid, and the other knows what that thing is without asking.
Worm

    Live-Action TV 

Enough with the cryptic, butch. I want to know who... or what you are... what you want, and how fast I can snap your forearm before you answer.
Spike to Lindsey, Angel, "Soul Purpose"

Kosh: Then the willows must scuttle carefully.
Abbut: Does Saturn have rings?
Kosh: The talks are over for the day. We shall commence again tomorrow at the hour of longing.
Abbut: Suits me. [exits]
Talia: Ambassador! Ambassador Kosh!
Kosh: There is a question?
Talia: Yes. I've been scanning Mr. Abbut all day, and his mind is still just as empty as when we started. And these phrases that you keep speaking in, they don't make any sense.
Kosh: Ah, you seek meaning. Then listen to the music, not the song.

M'Ola: Will you consider one thing. Please. If it were your child or even you yourself, how would you feel if the doctor of Babylon 5 wanted to perform an unwelcome procedure on you?
Kosh: The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.

Hybrid: The excited state decays by vibrational relaxation into the first excited singlet state. Yes, yes and merrily we go. Reduce atmospheric nitrogen by 0.03%. It is not much consolation that society will pick up the bits, leaving us at eight modern where punishment, rather than interdiction, is paramount. Please, cut the fuse. They will not harm their own. End of line. Limiting diffusions to two dimensions increases the number of evolutionary jumps within the species. Rise and measure the temple of the five. Transformation is the goal. They will not harm their own. Data-font synchronization complete.
[...]
Six: The hybrid is clearly telling us something.
Cavil: The hybrid is always telling us something. They're supposed to maintain operations on each ship, not vomit metaphysics.

Murray the Minstrel: Hey, boss, you sure know how to pick your medley leaders.
Cantus the Minstrel: I don't pick 'em. They pick themselves.
Murray: Yeah, but this one [Red Fraggle]? We could be here for days!
Cantus: She'll find her song, in time.
Murray: In time for tomorrow's medley?
Cantus: She has a long way to go, though the journey is short. The medley will not start without her.
[Exit Cantus. Murray turns to his fellow Minstrels.]
Murray: Did he answer my question?
[Balsam nods. Brio shakes her head. Brool shrugs.]
Murray: That's what I thought.

"Oma": If you are seeking an absolute truth, you will not find it. Only truth that applies to you.
Daniel: ...That is so extremely unhelpful.

Q: There you go again, always blaming me for everything. Well this time I'm not your enemy. I'm not the one that causes the annihilation of mankind. You are.
Picard: Me?
Q: That's right. You're doing it right now. You did it before and you'll do it again.
Picard: What sort of meaningless doubletalk is this?
Q: He doesn't understand! I have only myself to blame, I suppose.

    Video Games 
"You speak in circles, master! You praise me for being observant then tell me not to be! What is the aim of this?!"
A very agitated Altair, Assassin's Creed

    Webcomics 
Yes sir. No sir. Yes sir. No sir. Oh man, I love cryptic phone calls.

    Web Videos 

The Pronoun game. *ding*
CinemaSins, as a Running Gag in their videos.

Sigurd: Mysterious phrasing!
Citan: Vague response and namedrop without context.
Sigurd: Continued shit-talking about old co-workers.
Citan: But only vaguely.


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