Quotes / Criminal Case: World Edition

Europe

God Save the Prince

Jack: Enid Grimshaw, we know you killed Prince Albert. It'll be best if you just confess!
Enid: (shocked) That ain't true! I ain't done nothing!
Jack: Your hair on this London Underground map proves you killed him!
Enid: (biting her nails) Nonsense! I'm a good girl, I am!
Jack: <Rank> <Name> found the Shakespearean message you wrote about dead Princes!
Enid: (crying) Please stop. Don't say any more!
Jack (angrily) We found your horse riding gloves in the Globe Theater. We know it was you!
Enid: (wiping a tear) You... you found my gloves. He... he bought those for me. I must have dropped them after I ran away. (angrily) I really did love him, you know. I didn't know it would kill him. They made me do it!
Jack: Who made you do it? Who are "they"?!
Enid: (shocked) I don't know... I was sent a note. It said if I didn't do what they told me, they would kill me and Albert! (biting her nails) I was terrified. I told Albert, but he didn't take it seriously. But I didn't want us to die! (in love) So I left Albert that message, a quote from Shakespeare. It meant, "meet me in the usual place". Shakespeare quotes were our special, romantic code. (wiping a tear) As my instructions told me, I had hidden that device they'd sent me in the phone. Then I rang the phone... (crying) When I saw what happened... the gas... Albert dead. I didn't know what to do. I swear I never knew it was poison! I would never have killed him. I loved him!
Jack (sadly) I'm sorry Enid. If you can't tell us who made you do this, we'll have to hold you responsible. Enid Grimshaw, you're under arrest for the murder of Prince Albert.

Off with Their Heads

Carmen: Constantin Perrier, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Annette Sommeur!
Constantin: That’s absurd. I told you I wasn’t there! I only found out about Ms Sommeur’s demise at lunch!
Carmen: A lunch where you ate camembert! How much of that stinky cheese do you eat, Mr Perrier? And do you ever wash your hands? You left some of it on the blade of the murder weapon!
Constantin: That is nonsense. I wouldn’t go near a guillotine! S’il vous plaît, do I look that foolish to you?
Carmen: Foolish? I don’t know. But you sure are sloppy. You also left behind a photo of the victim in the guillotine!
Constantin: The… the photographer probably took that photo! She hated Ms Sommeur’s guts, you know!
Carmen: Don’t try to pin this on an innocent person! The photographer doesn’t wear a luxury "fleur de lys" brooch, Mr Perrier. But you do!
Constantin: Oui! Oui! Fine, I DID kill Annette Sommeur, but I only did it for the money! It was my turn to live like a king! Do you know what it’s like to be surrounded by such wealth day after day and be looking at a pittance for retirement? So when they offered me money to kill Annette Sommeur and steal the manuscript from her I didn’t hesitate!
Carmen: “They” offered you money? Who are they?!
Constantin: If I told you, they’d kill me!
Carmen: And these people have the manuscript?!
Constantin: I don’t know! I never gave it to anyone! After the murder, I… I panicked! I don’t remember where I left it!
Carmen: You better remember soon! In the meantime, you’re under arrest for the murder of Annette Sommeur!

Auf Wieder-Slain

Carmen: The mystery has been solved. Johan Schnee, you’re under arrest for the murder of Hans Vogel!
Johan: What are you talking about? I wasn’t even in town when Hans was there. I was in the forest.
Carmen: You mean, the forest from where you sent Hans the postcard asking to meet you at the village square?
Johan: I didn’t send that card, and even if I had, it’s not a crime to meet up with old friends!
Carmen: No, it’s not, but it is a crime to kill them while listening to German folk music. We found your military radio with the exact crime scene coordinates recorded in it.
Johan: Those coordinates must have accidentally been recorded during my last visit to the village!
Carmen: The visit where you quenched your thirst for revenge by drinking beer and murdering your old friend, Hans! We found your DNA all over the beer mug you used to bash in Hans’ head! That is, before you skewered him on the town clock like a roast boar ready for a luau! A brutal way to do in a friend, don’t you think?
Johan: He was no friend of mine! He promised he’d keep our secret, but he was about to share it with the whole world!
Carmen: Secret? What secret? Is it about your brother’s disappearance?
Johan: My brother didn’t disappear… I killed him! It was an accident! I couldn’t see… I thought it was a wild boar! I aimed my bow and… I buried him and never told a soul! Hans was there. He promised to keep it a secret! It was an accident!
Carmen: You killed your own brother and buried him in the forest?! How could you? And why kill Hans now after all these years?
Johan: He was about to tell everyone the truth! I saw posters for his interview with the Mayor, I knew I had to silence him! He brought it on himself!
Carmen: You killed your brother and your old friend. The town shouldn’t be afraid of a legend. They should be afraid of you! Johan Schnee, you’re under arrest!

Murder's Cheap

Jack: Nikolaos Costas, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Demetrios Metaxas.
Nikolaos: You can’t be serious! Anyway, we don’t have money to run prisons any more! Just look at the mess Metaxas made, <Rank> <Name>!
Jack: Stop this charade, Costas. You asked Metaxas to meet you on the Acropolis last night. You wore a disguise, and stabbed him in the back!
Nikolaos: Nonsense! I was at work, crunching the numbers!
Jack: That’s what you said. But in reality, you went to the cave to hide the murder weapon. You also planned to dump the body in the sea.
Nikolaos: No! I was here all night, fighting the lost battle of economic doom, like Sisyphus!
Jack: Your love of Greek myths speaks against you! And your clumsiness: you left olives on the murder weapon, and your sunglasses link you to the crime scene!
Nikolaos: Alright, I admit it! But I did it for Greece! If only I’d killed Metaxas sooner, Greece might have escaped bankruptcy and anarchy! Europe needs strong leaders, <Rank> <Name>, or we’ll sink like a ship without a captain!
Jack: You won’t need to worry about sinking ships in prison, Costas. You’re under arrest!

When Shadows Fall

Carmen: Brother Klaus! <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Father Pietro Agnelli!
Brother Klaus: You are mistaken! Father Agnelli changed my life! Why would I kill him?
Carmen: Please… did you think not wearing your Promethians necklace would be enough? You spit in the wound and left trace of cappuccino!
Brother Klaus: Me? Spit on Father Agnelli? NEVER!
Carmen: Well, you were fired up enough over him to get out your butane torch, but you left flecks of gold leaf all over the handle!
Brother Klaus: I may have bumped into a gilded frame at the Vatican, but that proves nothing!
Carmen: Combined with DNA on the murder weapon that proves the killer has white hair, I think it proves everything!
Brother Klaus: I knew I wouldn’t be able to fool you for long, <Rank> <Name>! I DID kill Pietro Agnelli! The Promethians felt strongly that Agnelli was not the man who should become Pope… He was an obstacle, so I removed him from the Promethians’ path! Someone like Cardinal Salieri would suit the Promethians much better… We needed a friend in the Vatican…
Carmen: Forget the Vatican! You’re gonna need some friends in prison, fool! You’re under arrest!

The Impossible Dream

Jack: (as a Promethian) Good evening, dear leader-
Archibald: How preposterous! How dare you call me by my Promethian name when I’m not in costume?
Jack: My sincerest apologies. I was just so in awe thinking about the brilliance of your plan to murder Proust that I forgot my manners. I was wondering if you could tell the story again, it’s such a great one!
Archibald: Why of course, young recruit! First of all, I had Papadakis lure Proust to Park Güell with a postcard…
Jack: How ingenious!
Archibald: Then I ambushed her and dragged her out to the countryside! I branded her with the word “traitor” in Aramaic, as a warning to anyone else who might consider betraying me… …As if the fact I had Prince Albert and the Greek Finance Minister killed wasn’t enough to make people fear me! Those fools should have never stood in the Promethians’ way! Anyway, I digress. Then, I took my lighter and lit a fire under the bronze bull. It was just as magnificent as I’d hoped! But the finishing touch was playing the victim in front of those Bureau fools! <Rank> <Name> will never suspect it was me who killed Proust!
Jack: (unearthing his disguise) I wouldn’t be so sure, Gilchirst. (drawing his gun) You’re under arrest for the murder of Jacqueline Proust!
Archibald: I… I… How is this p-possible?

Sahara Region

Murder by Proxy

Jack: Christy Mathis, you’re under arrest for the murder of Adam Hassan!
Christy: What? Me? I would never hurt Adam.
Jack: Then why did <Rank> <Name> find the amulet you left with a message written in ancient Arabic? “An eye for an eye.” Sounds like deadly revenge for his cheating ways!
Christy: He might have cheated on me but that wouldn’t merit me killing him. That would be crazy!
Jack: You mean crazy like killing him with a poisoned blow dart that was covered in the saffron you bought at the souk?
Christy: That’s ridiculous! I wouldn’t even know where to get a poisoned dart… and besides… I was at the library studying all last night.
Jack: We’ve got your DNA, Christy. You do realize you’re also our main suspect in the recent murder of the Bureau Chief? I’d start telling the truth, if I were you.
Christy: What?! I didn’t kill your Chief! I just killed Adam! I swear! I only used the same weapon because I heard about it and thought you’d think it was the same killer!
Jack: Say we believe you, why did you kill Adam then? Is it because he cheated on you?
Christy: He didn’t just cheat on me! Do you think I would have killed him for that?! He… the night I broke up with him, he got really drunk… and angry… and mean. He said he’d remind me why we were so good together. He… he… I never thought he could do that to me.
Jack: Christy, what did Adam do? … Did he force himself on you?
Christy: I told him “no” and he didn’t listen. And then he left… as if nothing had happened. Do you understand now why I killed him, <Rank> <Name>? What if he did that to another student? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, not after what he did to me!
Jack: What Adam did to you is foul and unforgivable. No one should ever be forced to suffer through that. But… it still doesn’t excuse murder. I hate to say it, but Christy Mathis, you’re under arrest.

Death in the Desert

Carmen: Mama Yasmine, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Donald Barnes.
Mama Yasmine: I told you, <Rank> <Name>: I shall never speak to foreigners again!
Carmen: You have the right to remain silent. You’ve already admitted you blamed the refinery for the decline of traditional values.
Mama Yasmine: You’ll have to arrest every nomad in the Sahara if loathing the refinery is a crime, <Rank> <Name>.
Carmen: But you held a personal grudge against Barnes, too. He was cruel to you where it hurt most: about your son who left for America.
Mama Yasmine: Barnes couldn’t open his mouth without offending someone. You underestimate me, <Rank> <Name>. Because of my simple life, you think my mind’s simple, too.
Carmen: Oh, we know you’re more cunning than you let on, Yasmine. You planned every detail: first you strangled Barnes with a camel-riding rope… … Then dumped the body at the Najwa camp, with Barnes’s belongings. You didn’t count on <Rank> <Name> finding your DNA on Barnes’s cap, or the tooth from your necklace!
Mama Yasmine: What I didn’t count on was Anir running straight to you when he discovered the body! If only he’d helped me discard the evidence, you’d never have caught me, <Rank> <Name>!
Carmen: You thought Anir would help you? The man who’s tribe feuded with yours for generations?
Mama Yasmine: Anir’s still a fellow nomad, even if he’s a rival! In the olden days, tribes put aside their differences to defeat a common enemy, <Rank> <Name>! But I see those days are gone. It’s every man for himself. Take me to prison, <Rank> <Name>: my freedom was lost a long time ago.
Carmen: Yasmine, I feel your pain, but you broke the law. You’re under arrest for Barnes’s murder.

Killing Spring

Carmen: Thomas Cox, you're under arrest for the murder of Hamza Boussefi. How could you?!
Thomas: Don't be ridiculous, Carmen. I'm a journalist, not a killer!
Carmen: Then how do you explain that <Rank> <Name> found your fishing hook covered in the victim's blood at the crime scene?
Thomas: A lot of people visit the oasis to go fishing, anyone could have left that hook there!
Carmen: You know, killing someone is disgusting enough, but posting a photo of the victim's dead body on Buzzer?!
Thomas: There's no proof that account belongs to me. Besides, social media accounts get hacked all the time!
Carmen: Stop lying, Thomas! <Rank> <Name> also found your DNA on the cigarette butt you tried to hide at the crime scene! You're done for!
Thomas: Oh, alright. You got me. I killed Hamza. But it was an accident, I swear!
Carmen: How do you accidentally shoot someone in the head?
Thomas: I invited Hamza to the oasis to interview him about the protest movement, and how far he was prepared to go to overthrow the Sultan. Hamza was showing me the rifle he'd bought. I took it to get a feel for it when I accidentally discharged it! I panicked when I saw Hamza was dead but then I realized there was a silver lining! I made it into the scoop of the year by claiming that the Sultan killed him!
Carmen: You're disgusting, Thomas! Instead of honoring the dead, you used Hamza's death for your own vile purposes!
Thomas: Oh, loosen up, Carmen! We can't all have a nose for a good story like you do - some of us have to fabricate our news!
Carmen: Well you'd better fabricate a better story than that before your trial, Thomas. You're under arrest!

I Spy a Mummy

Jack: Zarah Salah, you are under arrest for the murder of Afif Wahab!
Zarah: What?! I wanted to catch that thief red-handed, not kill him!
Jack: Oh, come on... You tracked the victim like a predator and lured him with a hookah pipe at the hookah bar!
Zarah: Like a predator? You make me sound like some kind of monster!
Jack: Kissing the murder weapon before you pulled the victim's brains out with it sounds monstrous enough, doesn't it, <Rank> <Name>?
Zarah: Please, you're making me sick...
Jack: Not as sick as seeing the victim's brains in a box made us! A box that you opened with the scarab brooch you're wearing! The game is up, Salah!
Zarah: ... I was foolish to think I could escape you, <Rank> <Name>. Yes, I killed Afif Wahab. But I had to!
Jack: Because you thought he was stealing from the tombs?
Zarah: No, because I exposed myself as a thief to him!
Jack: Wait, what? YOU'RE the antiquities thief?! But your job is to keep the tombs safe!
Zarah: Why don't you try to live on a government salary, <Rank> <Name>? Nobody really knows what's in those tombs! Nobody misses the artifacts I smuggle!
Jack: I can't believe it! So you killed Afif because he was a competitor?
Zarah: Not exactly. When I met him in the tomb, I offered him a large amount of money to pack up and leave... but he refused! He clung to his fruit vendor story, said I couldn't force him to leave his stall! The man was mad! When I realized he wouldn't take the money, I panicked. I couldn't risk him realizing who I was and exposing me as a thief!
Jack: So you mummified him?!
Zarah: I thought nobody would notice one more mummy in a tomb filled with them. But I took the hook and the brains, because people would have noticed how fresh the body was.
Jack: But you didn't count on <Rank> <Name> being in town, did you? That one mistake is going to put you away for a long time. You're under arrest!

The Parting Shot

Jack: Fiona Cummings, you're under arrest for the murder of your husband, Seamus. You killed him because he cheated on you?!
Fiona: <Rank> <Name>, if I had killed my husband every time he cheated, he'd be long dead by now. I didn't kill him.
Jack: Don't bother lying. We found your ski lift ticket covered in his blood.
Fiona: Lots of people ski in Dubai. That ticket could have been anybody's.
Jack: Really? And his blood just happened to get on somebody else's earring back, the one that coincidentally matches the earrings he gave you as a gift?
Fiona: I'm appalled you'd blame me, his wife. I loved him. I put up with all his... stuff. You should be arresting the caddy. He stole Seamus's money after all!
Jack: But he didn't kill him! It wasn't his oud oil we found on the trigger of the gun that fired the fatal blow. And you used Seamus's own gun! Now that's revenge!
Fiona: Fine! Yes! I did it! But he killed our son! When our son died, Seamus told me it had been a drive-by. You know... wrong place, wrong time. It destroyed me! It took all I had to rebuild my life. But a few months ago, I found out it was all a lie!
Jack: Wait, your son DIDN'T die from a drive-by shooting?
Fiona: No! Our son accidentally shot himself with Seamus's gun and Seamus covered it up! He'd promised me he wouldn't keep the gun at home, but he did and our son died because of it!
Jack: I don't have children, but I can understand how difficult that must've been. However, it still doesn't justify murder.
Fiona: A mother does what she needs to do to defend her children. I couldn't be there to defend mine, so I did what I had to do to make it right!
Jack: And now, <Rank> <Name> needs to make things right... Fiona Cummings, you're under arrest for the murder of Seamus Cummings.

Die by the Sword

Carmen: Omar Bahir, <Rank> <Name>'s arresting you for the murder of Anir Aznag...
Carmen: ... And for kidnapping Andrew Stern and killing Chief Ripley.
Omar: <Rank> <Name>, you're making a terrible mistake. You've fallen into The Sword's trap.
Carmen: YOU were The Sword all along! YOU thought you could trap us, but <Rank> <Name> has all the evidence against you! Andrew heard you speak Arabic with Anir before you beheaded him...
Omar: A traumatized child's testimony won't hold up in court, <Rank> <Name>.
Carmen: You carry the scar on your face where Anir scratched you with a stone, fighting for his life!
Omar: Useless circumstantial evidence! How many people in a war-torn town will have a scar?
Carmen: Our pathologist's proved your weight matches the killer's profile! And we know you're an expert chemist...
Omar: That's enough, <Rank> <Name>. I've thrown you a few breadcrumbs because I've enjoyed playing with you. But the game ends here. Yes, I am The Sword. I had a mission in the Sahara: sowing the seeds of conflict and extremism everywhere. I knew the Bureau would soon get onto me, so I decided to trap you first. All I had to do was pull on your heartstrings by killing Ripley and abducting a child. I knew you'd come, <Rank> <Name>! Now that the Sahara is on the brink of war, it's time I finished the job with the Bureau, too!
Carmen: Put that grenade down, Bahir! If you pull that pin, you'll die with us!
Omar: How could you be so naive, <Rank> <Name>! I can't afford to die, SOMBRA still needs me. This is a poison bomb, and I've taken the antidote. Only YOU will die! Goodbye, <Rank> <Name>. You'll meet your Chief Ripley in-
BANG!
Omar: What... I...
(Omar falls the ground, dead.)
Carmen: <Name>, that shot came from outside! Take cover!

Eurasia

Moscow Mole

Jack: Liam Hall, you're under arrest for the murder of Darya Chernova!
Liam: What? That's ridiculous, <Rank> <Name>. I would never have hurt Darya! I even started reading Tolstoy so we had something to discuss!
Jack: Speaking of which, we found your copy of War and Peace in the trash, covered in Darya's blood!
Liam: That could have been anyone's book! There's no proof it's mine!
Jack: <Rank> <Name> also found your napkin, covered in beef stroganoff except for a perfect circle which matches the coin necklace you're wearing!
Liam: So what? Eating beef stroganoff isn't a crime!
Jack: And how do you explain your blood on the handle of the broken vodka bottle which you used to stab Darya?
Liam: Oh, God... I... I really did kill her, didn't I? We went out for dinner the night Darya was killed. I was taking advantage of the alcohol flowing and we... we both got drunk. I just remember us walking through Red Square when we started arguing... Darya kept pressuring me to do a favor for her, you see.
Jack: We don't need to hear any more about your "favors", Liam!
Liam: You don't get it! It wasn't sexual. She just wanted me to drop off a briefcase for her! I don't know what it contained, but I'm not stupid. I knew she couldn't have been up to any good. I left the UK to escape all the trouble I'd gotten into there... I didn't want to do the same here! But then I... I blacked out! I woke up in my bed the next morning with no memory of what happened after the argument, and a nasty cut on my hand!
Jack: Well, you'd better hope the judge cuts you a lenient sentence, because you're under arrest for Darya's murder!

Only Truth Remains

Carmen: Dmitri Lermontov, <Rank> <Name> is placing you under arrest for the murder of Mikhail Karamazov!
Dmitri: Oh! Is this the moment where you lay out the evidence from your investigation? I'm thrilled, <Rank> <Name>!
Carmen: This is not some cozy murder mystery to read beside the fire with your Borzois, Lermontov! We know it was you!
Dmitri: I defy you! Prove it!
Carmen: You left your caviar all over the victim's scarf for a start!
Dmitri: Maybe Karamazov was just a slob when he ate caviar? You'll need more than that to put me on trial!
Carmen: Then you shouldn't have left your DNA all over the murder weapon! Your green eyes sealed the deal!
Dmitri: I've played at enough card tables to know you aren't bluffing... Well, <Rank> <Name>, you're 100% correct! I killed Mikhail Karamazov with a literary touch all my own! And I would kill him a thousand times over!
Carmen: To get back your estate and get rid of your gambling debt?
Dmitri: If you think this was about money, you couldn't be more wrong! I killed him for HONOR!
Carmen: Because he cheated at cards...
Dmitri: Not MY honor! I did it to protect Duchess Anastasia!
Carmen: Duchess Anastasia?! The woman who thinks she's Russian royalty? You want to protect the honor of some delusional duchess?
Dmitri: Who else would stand up for her?! When I learned that Karamazov was trying to blackmail her into marriage, I could not contain myself!
Dmitri: I love her, you see! I don't care if she's royalty or not! I couldn't let that vermin destroy her life!
Carmen: Save your passion for your prison novel, Lermontov. You're under arrest!

O Deadly Night

Jack: What the... Asal?! Don't tell me you killed Santa Claus!
Asal: Jack, sugarbear, what are you talking about? Why would I kill Santa Claus?
Jack: Don't play coy with me! <Rank> <Name> found your blade guard covered in candy cane! I thought we had something special!
Asal: Of course we do, darling. And I do love to ice skate but that doesn't make me a murderer.
Jack: Oh really? Then how come we also found your red glitter all over the shotgun sabot you used to shoot our victim? What do you have to say about that, huh?
Asal: I'd say that you're starting to sound like a paranoid boyfriend. Jealousy is not a good look on you.
Jack: Jealous of what? That bad-boy Santa with six-pack abs... who's now dead because you wrapped your hot mulled wine hands around him!
Asal: Why can't you just let things lie?! Yes! I killed Nick! Now, can you just please drop it?
Jack: Drop it?! You killed a guy and didn't think to tell me?! Haven't you ever heard of pillow talk?!
Asal: There are just some things I can't say about my job. This is one of those things. Look, Nick was up to something with dangerous, global repercussions, and I was just following Mossad orders. I'm sure you understand, <Rank> <Name>.
Jack: You assassinated a man... and you got caught. By. Your. Boyfriend. If you would've told me from the start, we could've worked together... like couples do!
Asal: Don't be so smug. You would've never caught me had I been on my own. This little relationship thing of ours threw me off my game! This is why I never date!
Jack: How are we supposed to build a trusting relationship like this when we've got no choice but to arrest you.
Asal: Do what you must. I'll be just fine.
Jack: Fine then. Ms Asal Hawaa, you're under arrest for the murder of Nick Kringle aka Santa Claus!

Fast Track to Murder

Carmen: Nikita Rukhin, you're under arrest for the murder of Ilya Tretyakov!
Nikita: Me? But you can't! I'm an innocent ticket inspector!
Carmen: You're a ticket inspector whose scarf fibers got caught in the victim's watch during your fight with him!
Nikita: Anyone might wear a scarf! I'm an honest citizen oppressed by capitalism!
Carmen: Stop lying, Rukhin! Your blood was on the fruit bowl you used to hit Tretyakov over the head!
Nikita: I don't hit people over the head, it's not in my job description!
Carmen: The victim identified you. He wrote your initials for us to find!
Nikita: What?? But I only turned away from him for a few moments... Uh, I shouldn't have said that... Fine, I killed him, <Rank> <Name>! I hated that capitalist Tretyakov. Russian diamonds should belong to the people, not to oligarchs! I returned those diamonds to communist hands thanks to my brothers across the border.
Carmen: You stole diamonds from Tretyakov?
Nikita: It was justice, not theft! I sold the diamonds to a network of my communist brothers in China. The money I got was for reviving the glorious USSR.
Carmen: Tretyakov must've been furious when he found out!
Nikita: He confronted me on the train and we fought. I hit him over the head and then hanged him.
Carmen: Why stop the train?
Nikita: One must always report railway incidents! Besides, I knew I'd hide evidence in the cave. And I thought reporting the murder would make me less suspicious.
Carmen: Your calculations failed! You're under arrest!

Horseback Mountain

Carmen: Tsetseg, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Andrei Beloglazov.
Tsetseg: I've got better things to be doing than killing people, <Rank> <Name>. The horses don't look after themselves, y'know!
Carmen: Is that why you sliced Andrei in two in a fashion that only someone who knows sword fighting could have done? Because he left your horse to die?
Tsetseg: Don't be ridiculous. Besides, sword fighting is practically a national pastime here.
Carmen: And what about the fact that <Rank> <Name> found traces of your salty tea on the mask you wore when you killed Andrei?
Tsetseg: Those masks can be bought by tourists anywhere... And plenty of people enjoy a cup of salty tea!
Carmen: Cut it out, Tsetseg! We found your DNA on the hand which you broke off the statue at the crime scene!
Tsetseg: Darn it! I've spent so long out of the game that I've gotten sloppy. I never would've made such mistakes before!
Carmen: What do you mean, "before"? This isn't the first murder you've committed?!
Tsetseg: Of course not. At my peak, I was one of the world's greatest hitwomen! My only rule was "no women, children or horses".
Carmen: What the heck? YOU were a hitwoman?
Tsetseg: I still am! This was going to be my last job before I retired to focus on running the family stables. When SOMBRA asked me to carry out a hit on Andrei in order to "tie up loose ends", I stupidly agreed. I should've known when to stop!
Carmen: It was SOMBRA who had Andrei killed?! But... he was working for them! If they considered him a loose end, his job must have been complete. Does that mean the satellite has been finished?!
Tsetseg: I... I didn't mean to let that slip! Gosh darn it! I'll say no more!
Carmen: Well, you can refuse to talk, but you're still under arrest!

Countdown to Murder

Jack: Yelena Tereshkova, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Vitaly Borodin!
Yelena: Shto?! But I did not even know this man! Why would I kill him?
Jack: That's for you to tell us, Yelena. Why would you use your physics skills to change a laser welding torch to a laser cutter?
Yelena: But that's a skill any self-respecting cosmonaut would need for repairs in space!
Jack: And I suppose you'd claim that the victim took a picture of some other COSMORUS employee right before he died!
Yelena: It was Natasha Romanova! She killed Borodin!
Jack: No, it wasn't. We know because you handled Nd:YAG crystals to turn the torch into a weapon and you left some adhesive from your bandage on them!
Yelena: But I'm serious! It was Natasha! She told me that if I killed Borodin, I'd finally go to space!
Jack: And what did the victim have to do with you going to space?!
Yelena: Natasha told me that it was Borodin who blocked my applications! He had the power! He was head of the Security and Defense Committee!
Jack: Say we believe you, what does any of this have to do with the SOMBRA satellite?
(The ground starts to shake.)
Yelena: A-a s-satteli-i-te? Wha-at are y-you t-talking abou-u-ut?
Jack: W-w-whoa, w-why is the f-f-floor shaki-i-ing?!
VROOOOOSH!
(The ground stops shaking.)
Jack: <Name>, what the heck was that?! It came from the launch control room! Good idea! Go check it out! I'll cuff Yelena here and catch up!

South Asia

Bad Medicine

Carmen: Dr Sumati Misra, you're under arrest for the murder of Donna Sandover!
Sumati: What?! That's preposterous! I thought Donna was a saint. You read the newspaper article!
Carmen: Then how come we found traces of your chai tea on the victim's wrist? Checking her pulse to make sure she was dead sounds like something a physician would do!
Sumati: Chai? Who doesn't drink chai in New Delhi?
Carmen: We also found the prayer beads you left behind at the crime scene. C'mon, Dr Misra, all your so-called devotion is just an act!
Sumati: I've selflessly committed myself to the sick and injured people of New Delhi for years! No one can question my dedication!
Carmen: And the greasy papadum smudges we found on Donna's water bottle? We know you spiked her water bottle, then stood back and watched Donna overdose!
Sumati: You know NOTHING about what it's like to treat patients in this country! My struggle has been relentless. I've worked hard to improve the quality of life of the people of India, and I can barely scrape together a reasonable living! And there was rich and entitled Donna, waltzing in, trying to tell me how I should practice medicine! She and those Rising Hope do-gooders swoop in, hand out a few blankets and teddy bears and then walk away! And I'm left with the mess they leave behind!
Carmen: So you KILLED her?! Don't you think that's a bit of an overreaction?!
Sumati: She didn't just criticize me! I caught her breaking into my office and stealing my medicine, which she said she was going to use to treat the earthquake victims rather than "feather my own nest!" Then she threatened to report me to the medical board for charging victims during a disaster. I would have lost my license! So, yes, I killed her! I gave her a taste of her own medicine!
Carmen: Well, you've treated your last patient, Dr Misra! You're under arrest for the murder of Donna Sandover!

Treacherous Waters

Jack: Amrita Kumar, you're under arrest for the murder of your brother, Deepak!
Amrita: Are you crazy?! Deepak was my brother! We've protected each other since we were children!
Jack: Shooting him dead is hardly protection! <Rank> <Name> found your gun in the museum! The one you said was swept away in the tsunami!
Amrita: You're just trying to pin the murder on me because you know I can shoot!
Jack: Speaking of shooting: <Rank> <Name> found fibers on your gun, too! The lab doesn't lie: they're from your shirt!
Amrita: I had no reason to kill my brother! I loved him!
Jack: We know you loved him: you broke down crying after you shot him. You wiped your tears off with Deepak's handkerchief, that's how we-
Amrita: I cried because it was an accident! I didn't mean to kill my brother! I used my gun because I thought I was being attacked by a stranger! I was alone in the museum when I heard someone approach me from behind. I thought I was going to be mugged... it'd happened before. So I turned around and fired, exactly as Deepak taught me. It happened so fast that the man was dead before I realized it was my brother.
Jack: Well, you certainly are a good shot... but Deepak should've taught you to identify your target before pulling the trigger!
Amrita: It's easy to be smart in hindsight, Mr Archer! Do you think I wanted to shoot my own brother?!
Jack: You could've given yourself up to the police! Instead, you tried to get rid of the evidence! You even searched Deepak's bag and destroyed your criminal record!
Amrita: I didn't know what I was doing, I was in shock! Then my survival instinct took over. Growing up in the slums does that to you. And Deepak wouldn't have wanted me to go to jail.
Jack: Well, Deepak's dead, and you're under arrest for his murder!

Plagued by Death

Jack: Ayush Patil, you're under arrest for the murder of Sunil Dhudwar!
Ayush: I teach students, I don't kill them. The distinction might be lost on you, but-
Jack: Cut the crap! Your brooch was caught on a security camera!
Ayush: The brooch is something all the university teachers wear!
Jack: Yes, and university teachers also wear the badge that allowed you to get close to the virus!
Ayush: You can't arrest someone for wearing a badge!
Jack: Stop lying! Your DNA was on the syringe you used to inject Sunil with the virus!
Ayush: It... but I buried it! Fine, you got me, <Rank> <Name>. I killed Sunil. And launched a new era for the world!
Jack: A new era? You call causing hundreds of deaths a new era?!
Ayush: The world must be saved from itself. As a sociologist, I know! We've got a huge overpopulation problem! Over a billion people in India alone! The recent disasters were a sign. This virus is the perfect solution to overpopulation! When Sunil told me about his research, I knew. The virus would kill millions and free up the planet for those who managed to survive!
Jack: Do you even know how to stop the plague you unleashed? Do you have any idea for the cure? A backup plan? Anything??
Ayush: The cure? No, why would I? My work is already complete!
Jack: What? You unleashed a virus you didn't even know how to stop?! Just the sight of you makes me sick! You're under arrest for this murder and for all the deaths you've caused!

Bloodywood

Carmen: Vikram Joshi, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Priya Joshi. How could you do something like that to a member of your own family?
Vikram: These accusations are laughable, <Rank> <Name>. Like I told you before, I came here to keep Priya safe - not to hurt her!
Carmen: Then how do you explain that we found traces of your neem oil all over the body?
Vikram: Everybody uses neem oil around here, <Rank> <Name>. Who doesn't want to look their best in Bollywood?
Carmen: Then what about the traces of cricket ball wax that we found on the Dandiya sticks you used to beat your own cousin to death?
Vikram: Cricket and Bollywood go hand in hand! That wax could have come from anyone!
Carmen: Stop lying, Vikram. We found the orange fibers from your clothing which got caught in Priya's earrings when she tried to defend herself against your brutal attack!
Vikram: I only killed her to restore our family's honor! I couldn't allow her to continue bringing shame on us. She was such a sweet, innocent girl before Bollywood corrupted her! The diva-like behavior was bad enough... But sleeping with the director? She tried to tell me that she'd been pressured into doing it. But when I found out about the baby, I knew something had to be done to protect our family's reputation!
Carmen: So you beat her to death? I'm fairly certain that's not what Priya's parents had in mind when they asked you to keep an eye on her!
Vikram: I wouldn't expect you people to understand.
Carmen: The only thing I understand is that you're going to prison for a long time! You're under arrest, Mr Joshi!

Peace and Dead Quiet

Carmen: Tashi, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Lam Ugyen!
Tashi: What?! I would never do my biggest benefactor any harm!
Carmen: The hiking boots you wear say otherwise, Tashi!
Tashi: Haven't you noticed I live on the edge of a cliff? What other shoes could I possibly wear up here?
Carmen: Well, you don't have to wear a turquoise bead around your neck to live up here...
Tashi: Turquoise bead? Haven't you seen the bead on the Guru guy? He wears one, too!
Carmen: Ah, but Om Padmasana never left Ayurvedic scar treatment all over the handle of the murder weapon! I don't get it, Tashi... You were almost done with your three-year trial, why kill Lam Ugyen right before you could marry Deki?
Tashi: Because he would never have let me marry Deki. He had taken her as his own wife!
Carmen: Whoa! Lam Ugyen turned his adopted daughter into his wife?! So that's what Deki meant by "wifely duties"!
Tashi: Once I overheard him talking to Deki not like a father but like a dirty old man! But I could hear in her voice that she didn't like his words. When I heard the way he talked to her, I knew I had to save her from him by any means necessary!
Carmen: I understand how shocking that discovery must have been, but chopping him up was not the best way to deal with it... You're under arrest!

Insides Out

Jack: Warren Goodfellow?! You're the one who killed Sandeep? But... I thought for sure it was the Guru, <Rank> <Name>!
Warren: What are you talking about, <Rank> <Name>? How could you think I'd kill anyone? I'm one of the good guys.
Jack: That's what you'd like us to think, but what kind of "Goodfellow" rips apart an innocent man and lets their dog play fetch with the bones?!
Warren: That's horrible! I'd never do such a thing! I'm a man of compassionate intentions. I work for an NGO after all!
Jack: You may be wearing that white khata for your "compassion", but we found it all over the victim's drum of death!
Warren: I'm offended you'd accuse me! I wasn't even here when it happened!
Jack: We'd almost believe you... if we hadn't found your DNA all over the ritual dagger you used to gut Sandeep to death! Just admit it, Warren! <Rank> <Name>'s got you cornered!
Warren: Admit what? That I murdered that ridiculous little man? Fine, you got me, <Rank> <Name>, I killed Sandeep! Sandeep served his purpose and then had to go. He might've been spared if he hadn't been so careless!
Jack: And what purpose is that, Warren? The purpose of murdering innocent, harmless men for your own satisfaction? Or is there something else we should know?
Warren: The purpose of framing that foolish Guru, is what. I set him up and you bought it whole! That poor guy had no idea what was happening!
Jack: You were framing the Guru? For Sandeep's murder? That's why all the evidence was pointing to him!
Warren: You almost made it too easy. You also believed the Guru was the one behind O.M. MediLab...
Jack: What?! The Guru's not behind O.M. MediLab?! Well... who is?
Warren: Wouldn't you like to know, <Rank> <Name>... You think you're so clever. We've been one step ahead of you this whole time.
Jack: We? Who's "we"?
Warren: If you think I'm going to tell you, you've got another thing coming to you! You'll have to figure that our yourself, <Rank> <Name>!

East Asia

The Killer in the Rice

Carmen: Mei, you're under arrest for Guo Han's murder! But... I don't understand why you did it! We thought he was your friend!
Mei: I liked Han, <Rank> <Name>. I didn't want to hurt him.
Carmen: But then... what happened? We know you pushed Han to take part in your pranks... Did one of your games go wrong?
Mei: I gave Han opportunities to prove himself! I wanted Han to be stronger, so he'd survive!
Carmen: Survive? How was Han supposed to survive getting his throat slashed? <Rank> <Name> found your blood on the murder weapon! Or were you too drunk on baijiu to remember?
Mei: The weak die, <Rank> <Name>. It's nature's way.
Carmen: "The weak die"? What on earth does that mean? You killed Han because he was weak?
Mei: I killed him because the fate of the weak is to die at the hands of the strong, <Rank> <Name>.
Carmen: Mei, I... I don't understand why you're acting like this! You've just admitted killing Han, so why can't you tell us WHY you did it?
Mei: I already told you, <Rank> <Name>. Han wasn't strong enough!
Carmen: Han was your friend, Mei! You know what you did was wrong, or you wouldn't have scribbled your confession on the bird feeder! I can't believe you don't have any feelings about this!
Mei: Everything is futile, <Rank> <Name>. The weak die. It's nature's way.
Carmen: Alright, Mei. I think you need help more than you need a prison sentence. But we can't help you if you refuse to engage with us. Our duty is to act on the evidence, and it clearly points to you. You're under arrest for Han's murder.

Dead in the Water

Jack: Ellen Morowitz, you're under arrest for the murder of Li Jun!
Ellen: What? Me? I may have an artistic temperament, but that doesn't make me a killer!
Jack: And yet <Rank> <Name> found your bruise ointment stained with the victim's blood!
Ellen: You can't prove that it was mine! Lots of people get bruises!
Jack: We also found the victim's necklace with red fibers from your scarf stuck in it!
Ellen: Wearing red silk is very common in China! You've got nothing on me!
Jack: We've got the murder weapon with your germs all over it, Ms Morowitz! The game is up!
Ellen: You- you just kept digging and digging until you found me, didn't you, <Rank> <Name>? Who asked you to do that?! Yes, I killed Li Jun! And I don't regret it! She ruined my life first! That woman refused my application to adopt a baby!
Jack: What? You told us that you changed your mind and didn't want to adopt anymore!
Ellen: I lied! The truth is that Li Jun denied my last chance to adopt. The bureaucratic process lasted for years, and then she refused me because she didn't think my artistic lifestyle was stable enough! I would've made a great mother! I longed for a child! I had the money, the willingness, everything! But it wasn't enough. I never had children, and it was that woman's fault! I hated her. Oh yes, I hated her, for years, and then what should happen but us meeting here, by chance! She just waltzed in here - and she didn't even recognize me! Can you believe it? This Li Jun wrecked my life and she didn't even remember me! I just couldn't take it. I snapped.
Jack: So you hit her over the head with a jade vase and then dumped her body in the river... Those actions don't speak highly of your moral character, Ms Morowitz! And nothing in your story changes the fact that you killed a human being! You're under arrest!

A Twist of Fate

Jack: Fang Di Yun, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Fang Cheng. Why would you kill your own husband?
Yun (smirking): Why indeed? Cheng was my only source of income!
Jack: Then why did <Rank> <Name> find part of your Tai Chi fan in the box of cigars used to poison him?
Yun: You're in China, <Rank> <Name>. Everybody practices Tai Chi!
Jack: Come on, Yun. What about the fact your dragon brooch was caught on film at the scene of the crime?
Yun (sweating): The dragon is a good luck symbol in Chinese culture - you can buy those brooches anywhere!
Jack (fist clenched angrily): Quit lying! We also found your tooth which Cheng knocked out when he tried to fight you off! Why'd you do it, Yun? Did he stop bankrolling your shopping trips?
Yun: You don't understand anything, <Rank> <Name>. I did it for the children! When Cheng and I first set up the gang, all I cared about was the money. I told myself that the kids benefitted as much as we did - that giving them food and shelter made up for the stealing. I mean, it wasn't so long ago that Cheng and I were children ourselves, doing everything we could to survive. I know how hard it is to grow up on the streets, <Rank> <Name>. But as the years went by, Cheng became increasingly brutal with the kids when they displeased him. When I learned what he'd done to Bai Bai... How he'd nearly beat him to death... I couldn't take it! I had to protect the children - even if it meant killing my husband!
Jack: I understand wanting to protect the kids, but two wrongs never make a right, Yun. You're under arrest for the murder of Fang Cheng!

Oh! Crazy Kill!

Carmen: Kang Dong-yun, you're under arrest for the murder of television producer Gwak Sung-ho!
Kang: WHAT?! That's insane! Why would I kill the man who made my perfect life possible?
Carmen: Knock it off, Kang. We know the killer sings karaoke and that's where we first met you! Not long after the murder!
Kang: Is that supposed to scare me?! Do you know how many people sing karaoke in this town? By the way, you're in Korea, so the word for karaoke is "noraebang." You might want to jot that down.
Carmen: Believe me, Kang, with us, the best defense is not an offense! We know it was a man who killed Gwak and you had the perfect opportunity!
Kang: What about that K-pop cretin, SILVERee? Gwak exposed him as a lip-syncher! I was right there when it happened! SILVERee was furious!
Carmen: Yes, but SILVERee doesn't wear glasses, Kang. So he couldn't have left glasses cleaner on the murder weapon! You did!
Kang: I can't believe you got me! I DID kill Gwak Sung-ho! But I didn't have a choice!
Carmen: There is always a choice, Kang. Most people never resort to murder!
Kang: But you don't get it! He wanted me to leave the show and, at first, I was OK with that. But I couldn't get any movie roles at all! Do you know how much gambling debt I have from playing hwatu? The thugs I owed were going to kill me!
Carmen: But how did Gwak Sung-ho fit into your gambling debt story, Kang?
Kang: Gwak Sung-ho wasn't just the producer of "Oh! Crazy Kids!" He also produced an exposé show and the latest episode delved into hwatu gambling... What he uncovered about the thugs running hwatu gambling got too close to the truth. They said I would have all my debt erased if I erased Gwak. But I had to leave a hwatu card in his mouth to prove that I killed him...
Carmen: Well, you erased your debt, but we're taking you straight to jail, Kang. You're under arrest!

A Death Wish

Jack: Emily Wallace, you're under arrest for the murder of Yuto Watanabe! But... why did you do it?
Emily: <Rank> <Name>, you've got the wrong person. I had nothing to do with Yuto's death!
Jack: I'd like to believe you, but we found one of your origami cranes stuffed in his pocket! Looks like all those origami classes paid off... in murder!
Emily (putting down files): Nonsense, <Rank> <Name>! Yuto was my fiancé's uncle. He was like family. I valued his time.
Jack: You mean like the time you drank sake together... before you shot him?!
Emily: I'm just an English teacher. I don't have any claims to power, money or glory. You don't have a motive...
Jack: But we do have your power crystal bracelet... and the yellow fibers on your revenge keychain! You must've known that being a yakuza was a dangerous lifestyle. Why blame Yuto for your fiancé's choices?
Emily: Yes, I knew that being a yakuza meant he could die at any time... but I didn't think his own uncle would kill him!
Jack: What?! Yuto killed his own nephew?!
Emily: After Shiro and I met, he decided to leave the yakuza, but Yuto didn't approve. Shiro left anyway... taking a lot of his uncle's money in the process. On our wedding day, Yuto stormed in with his goons and assassinated Shiro before my very eyes... before we could even say "I do!" And then... Yuto turned his gun on me!
Jack: Yuto tried to kill you too?!
Emily: He left me for dead next to the corpse of my fiancé. I swore if I made it through, I'd spend every waking moment planning my retaliation! I plotted my revenge. Slowly. Patiently. One crane after another. Waiting for the right time to strike! You should've seen the look on Yuto's face when he saw my gun, Shiro's old gun... justice was being served! He tried to commit seppuku, but there was no way I was letting him do it! He needed to die by MY hands!
Jack: Wow... that's one heck of a story... What Yuto did was cruel, but it doesn't give you just cause to take someone's life. I'm sorry but, Ms Wallace, you're under arrest.

The Murder Games

Carmen: Obaasan! I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're under arrest for the murder of Tsukada Hiroshi.
Obaasan: I don't know what you're talking about, <Rank> <Name>!
Carmen: We should've known when <Rank> <Name> found the photo of your schoolmates. Did you kill them too? Is that why you crossed out their faces?
Obaasan: I have never hurt anyone, let alone little Hiroshi! Please, <Rank> <Name>. You must be mistaken!
Carmen: You pretended to be a grandmother to these children! Then you brainwashed them with SOMBRA's mantra, "the weak die"! How could you do this?
Obaasan: They were orphans with nowhere to go! I looked after them! I gave them values to live by: to contribute, to be useful! The way I grew up, before the war! These days only the yakuza know what loyalty and honor means! <Rank> <Name>, SOMBRA gives these children the best future they can hope for!
Carmen: Honor? Future? You killed them if you thought they weren't strong enough! That's why you wrote "I killed the weakling, Hiroshi" on your Daruma doll!
Obaasan: SOMBRA has no place for weaklings. Hiroshi didn't want to be part of SOMBRA's hunt. He was weak.
Carmen: And so you shot him? Hiroshi was just a child! Why is SOMBRA doing this, Obaasan? Why is SOMBRA brainwashing these children? It can't be just to kill them!
Obaasan: I won't tell you anything, <Rank> <Name>. SOMBRA didn't leave me in charge of this operation for me to crack under pressure.
Carmen: You say Hiroshi was weak, but he stood up to you, one kid, lost and alone... and you shot him in the back? What does that make you? You think about that in prison.

Oceania

Death Match

Jack: Chon Sansurin, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Thanid Tongproh!
Chon: Me, killing a champion Thai boxer? The odds of me being able to overpower a trained fighter are... a million to one!
Jack: Except you said it yourself, you stay in shape... and Thanid had been drinking at the time of his death. So you could have easily taken him by surprise!
Chon: Yeah, okay. But that brings it down to... a thousand to one? That's still unlikely, krup!
Jack: The game's up! We found traces of your lemongrass on the murder weapon and your loyalty card!
Chon: That's honestly all you've got? Who doesn't eat lemongrass in Bangkok? But it narrows the odds... it's a hundred to one I'm your murderer!
Jack: You can keep on lying, but cameras don't! We've got footage of you at the murder scene, your glasses gave you away! What do you have to say about that?!
Chon: Erm, well... that's... Alright, <Rank> <Name>, I can't argue with those odds! I did murder Thanid, but it was his own fault. He broke our agreement!
Jack: Agreement?! What are you talking about?
Chon: Thanid and I made a deal that he'd deliberately lose the fight. I'd bet a fortune and give him a cut! But when I went to the stadium before the fight to confirm the details, Thanid had changed his mind! He refused to throw the fight! I needed that fight to be canceled. I would have lost everything!
Jack: You killed a man just to avoid losing money on a bet?! Betting on fights is one thing, but organizing shady deals and gambling with people's lives is another! You're under arrest for the murder of Thanid Tongproh!

A Stab in the Dark

Carmen: Anbu Devanesan, you're under arrest for the murder of Constance Tan!
Anbu: You think I killed the love of my life?!
Carmen: Whether you loved her or not, you left durian fruit stains on her corpse!
Anbu: I can't believe you're accusing me just because of something everyone here eats...
Carmen: We wouldn't have thought of you had we not found the sheath for your parang covered in your blood!
Anbu: I don't understand. I've never owned a parang.
Carmen: Your act is convincing, I'll give you that. But it's time to drop the mask. We know you're SOMBRA! <Rank> <Name> found your encrypted device!
Anbu: Device, what device?
(Elliot Clayton enters the room.)
Elliot: This device! <Name>, I've finally encrypted it! And there was a lot of information on it... about Mr Devanesan here! His main business in Singapore is laundering SOMBRA's money!
Anbu: No! How did you hack into that device? That encryption should've been unbreakable!
Carmen: So you were laundering money for SOMBRA! And I bet Constance found out! She told you she knew... And you killed her!
Anbu: Constance didn't know everything, but she learned I was doing something financially shady... and she stumbled onto the word "SOMBRA" without realizing what it meant. It was my own fault, really. I liked Constance too much, and let her get too close. She found my data device and stole it, hoping to expose me. I later took it off of her corpse. I tried to hide the evidence at the pool, but someone saw me... so I pretended to be suicidal. You even believed me! So touching! You thought the best of me, just like Constance did, for so long. Of course, as soon as Constance learned even the word "SOMBRA," I had to kill her. I was genuinely sad, by the way.
Elliot: Wow, you're one disgusting human being! <Name>, can I do this just once? Anbu Devanesan, you're under arrest for-
(Anbu pulls out a gun)
Anbu: I'm sorry, did everyone think I'd come quietly after <Rank> <Name> blew my cover?
Elliot: H-how did you get that gun into-
(Anbu takes Elliot hostage.)
Anbu: I'm getting out of here, kid! And you're coming with me!
Carmen: Drop your weapon!
Anbu: Make one wrong move, and I'll shoot him right in his clever little head. But he might live if I leave here unharmed... though I'll take him along as insurance, of course. May we never meet again, <Rank> <Name>!
(Anbu and Elliot leave.)
Carmen: Elliot! No!!

The Sweet Escape

Jack: Ms Salim, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for the murder of Riaja Somalinggi. Is this what SOMBRA does to kids who resist the brainwashing? Shoot them in the back?
Maya: It's like I told you, <Rank> <Name>. I'm just a psychologist - I assess the recruits, I don't kill them!
Jack: Then how come we found your jamu on Riaja's toy monkey? Did she drop it in the forest while she was running away from you? Is that how you tracked her down?
Maya: The health benefits of jamu are universally recognized in Indonesia - everybody takes it!
Jack: Cut it out! You left fibers from your batik print scarf on the speargun you used to shoot Riaja.
Maya: Batik is traditional clothing in Indonesia, a few fibers don't prove anything!
Jack: Give it up, Maya! We also found Riaja's ID bracelet which you hid after the murder - you left your DNA on it!
(Maya stands, speechless.)
Maya: Alright, I did it... I killed Riaja! But I didn't want to! We have directives to follow, <Rank> <Name>. Nobody is allowed to leave the camp before completing the next level of the program. And thanks to the cognitive retraining, nobody had ever tried before... So when Riaja made a run for it... I didn't know what to do! I chased her through the forest, but she wouldn't stop! We got to the beach and I saw the speargun... and I panicked! I shot her! I didn't mean to kill her, <Rank> <Name>! I just wanted to stop her from escaping! She never should've been transferred to the next level program in the first place! It was clear the cognitive retraining hadn't been fully taken!
Jack: You shot a young girl in the back just because she was trying to escape from an evil organization! You'd better start gathering all the information you have on SOMBRA if you want the judge to be lenient because you're under arrest for the murder of Riaja Somalinggi!

Speak, Friend, and Die

Carmen: Jermaine Waaka, <Rank> <Name> is putting you under arrest for the murder of Jackson Peters!
Jermaine: Me? Murder him> Oh, I get it! Pick the Maori guy who plays rugby! He's the violent type! Well, I'll have you know rugby players are gentleman!
Carmen: When all the evidence points to you, we can't just ignore it! You left your seafood allergy medicine at the scene of the murder, Jermaine.
Jermaine: I'm hardly the only person in New Zealand with that problem, am I? That's why I started the bloody awareness campaign!
Carmen: Yes, but not every person with that allergy goes spelunking, do they? You left bioluminescence from glow worms on that allergy medicine.
Jermaine: People come to New Zealand from all around the world to go spelunking!
Carmen: But you left your special tattoo-protecting sunscreen all over the murder weapon!
Jermaine: I can't take anymore of this. Enough! I DID kill Jackson! But what choice did I have? He filmed me taking steroids!
Carmen: A rugby player taking steroids? That's a big no-no!
Jermaine: I know! And Jackson knew if anyone found out, I'd lose my rugby career, my sponsorships and advertising deals, the whole lot! Jackson was blackmailing me to stay in the film!
Carmen: So you decided to kill one of the most epic filmmakers in the world instead of reporting him?
Jermaine: How could I report him? If I'd told on him for blackmail, he'd have leaked the story about me using steroids and I would've lost everything!
Carmen: Well, turns out you're going to lose everything anyway, Mr Waaka. You're under arrest!

Six Feet Down Under

Carmen: Veronica Salter, you're under arrest for the murder of Rufus Murlock! You shot him and then shot yourself in the arm?!
Veronica: I'm sorry, <Rank> <Name>, I don't know what you're talking about.
Carmen: Don't play coy with us. Do you think hiding the murder weapon at the bottom of the ocean would throw us off your scent?
Veronica: I don't have time for this. I've got to prepare Rufus' funeral arrangements.
Carmen: You almost got away with it too... it's unfortunate that you left behind some of your DNA on the shell casings.
Veronica: Murlock had many secrets. Some came back to haunt him. Some that required me killing him.
Carmen: I don't understand. It all seems extreme. Why would you murder your boss? What'd he do to you?
Veronica: This isn't about me. It's about the preservation of order and establishment of leadership. The weak must die.
Carmen: Order? Leadership? The weak die? We've should've known... you're SOMBRA!
(Veronica removes her green contact lenses to reveal her enhanced yellow eyes.)
Veronica: I am exactly what I need to be.
Carmen: Yellow eyes! Just like Baxter! You're one of SOMBRA's Next Level recruits!
Veronica: I've been here for months waiting for SOMBRA to give me my commands. I did exactly what I was ordered to do.
Carmen: But why did SOMBRA want Rufus dead? We know it's about the shipwreck! Tell us!
Veronica: It's about more than that wreck! You can't see the big picture.
Carmen: Big picture?! What is SOMBRA planning?
Veronica: <Rank> <Name>, the time for questions is over. You can arrest me now.
Carmen: Alright, if that's how you want to play it... you're under arrest for the murder of Rufus Murlock!

Out of the Blue

Jack: LeBeau! It was you! <Rank> <Name>'s arresting you for the murder of Professor Metcalf!
Brice: Inspecteur <Name>, I don't understand a word of zis!
Jack: You can drop the act, LeBeau! Your cigarette on the crime scene was as good as a smoking gun... you killed Metcalf just minutes before we arrived! I must admit, I admire your calm!
Brice: Inspecteur <Name>, why would you say zhat? Did you get hit by one of those fiery balls falling from ze sky?
Jack: You knew about SOMBRA's secret facilities all along! Are you SOMBRA, too? Or did they pay you to silence Metcalf?
Brice: Inspecteur <Name>, what are you talking about? And what is SOMBRA? I don't understand!
Jack: You're lying! You came to the island, overpowered Metcalf with Krav Maga, grabbed his syringe and stabbed him with it! Then you sent a Morse message, trying to escape! We know everything, except why you did it!
Brice: Alright, zat's enough! I did kill zat man, but it was self-defense! He tried to stab me wiz a syringe!
Jack: What? It was Metcalf who attacked YOU? But why?
Brice: Don't ask me, Inspecteur <Name>! I told you, I didn't even know him!\\ As soon as ze blue man saw me on ze beach, he ran at me, yelling like crazy, that I wanted to kill him! I said non, monsieur, pas du tout, I'm just here to dive!
Brice: But he wouldn't calm down, he kept trying to stab me! I had to defend myself! What was I supposed to do? He was blue! And angry!
Jack: So... you don't work for SOMBRA at all? You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Talk about irony, <Name>... with all these people wanting him dead, it turns out Metcalf's murder was a stupid accident!
(The ground starts shaking.)
Brice: I told you, Inspecteur <Name>, I'm just a treasure hunter! It was self-defense, I swear!
Jack: Great... the ground's shaking again! LeBeau, self-defense or not, you're coming back to the boat with us! You're under arrest!

Africa

Crash and Burn

Carmen: Aristide Akintola, you're under arrest for the murder of Jakobo Nkosi!
Aristide: That's crazy! I held a grudge against Jakobo, but I wouldn't kill him over that!
Carmen: Then how come we found hair from your beard on Jakobo's blood-stained passport?
Aristide: I bet you can't make a DNA match on those, you can't prove they're mine!
Carmen: Don't pretend you weren't there, Artistide! You sneezed grass pollen on the victim... your hay fever gave you away!
Aristide: Nonsense! I wasn't anywhere near your crash site. Don't you think I would've helped you if I was?
Carmen: Help us? You tried to kill us! We know you're a sharp-shooter, <Rank> <Name> found your rifle magazine, and you took shots at us!
Aristide: Alright! A good soldier knows when the fight is over. I did kill Jakobo! My only mistake was killing him before I got to you!
Carmen: What? Are you saying you intended to kill us... even before we got on your trail?!
Aristide: Yes, but I saw that backstabbing scoundrel first, running towards town. My anger got the better of me and couldn't resist taking him out on his way back to the plane!
Carmen: That makes no sense, Aristide. How did you know we'd even be here? Our plane crashed!
Aristide: It's of no consequence now, I'm just glad the mongrel is dead. I've got nothing else to say!
Carmen: You may want to re-think your silence when you're in front of the judge. You're under arrest for the murder of Jakobo Nkosi!

The Circle of Death

Jack: Nyota Adhiambo, you're under arrest for the murder of Kariuki Mania!
Nyota: I've got better things to do than listen to this.
Jack: If you didn't want <Rank> <Name> to track you down, you shouldn't have left nyama choma stains on the bow with which you shot your victim!
Nyota: Who says it was me who left them there?
Jack: The evidence does! You've got an excellent knowledge of plants- something that helped you cook up the poison you used on the arrow!
Nyota: I don't know what poison you mean.
Jack: Funny you say that, given that we've found the bowl you mixed the poison in! Just so you know, you left traces of your scar ointment on it!
Nyota: You've really found everything, haven't you, <Rank> <Name>? You beat me fair and square. Yes, I killed Kariuki. And I don't regret it, either! You know that Kariuki and I dated, <Rank> <Name>. But the truth is, I really loved him, the idiot that I was. And he used me for my knowledge about elephants! I told him everything I knew! Elephants' migration habits, their weaknesses... everything! And then I learned that he used it to kill them for their ivory! My life is devoted to protecting animals, and Kariuki made me an unwitting accessory to his crimes against them! After I realized that, learning that I was also the other woman in his marriage didn't even matter. I took justice into my own hands. Elephants around here are killed with poisoned arrows, so I used the same method to execute Kariuki. It served him right!
Jack: But that's where you went wrong! It's true Kariuki was guilty of serious crimes, but it wasn't for you to decide his means of punishment! And because you crossed that line, you're now under arrest for murder!

Kicking the Bucket

Jack: Kwanele Mthembu, you're under arrest for the murder of Kayla Pieterse.
Jack: Why'd you do it? Because you resented her new life?
Kwanele: Don't be ridiculous, <Rank> <Name>. Things might not have worked out between us, but I would've never hurt Kayla!
Jack: Then how come we found the note you wrote in Afrikaans, luring Kayla to the village so you could kill her?
Kwanele: Afrikaans is the third most spoken language in South Africa! Anyone could've written that note!
Jack: What about the traces of your melktert <Rank> <Name> found on the yacht rope you used to tie Kayla up?
Kwanele: Who doesn't enjoy melktert? And besides, I've only been yachting a handful of times!
Jack: Cut it out, Kwanele. We found your blood on Kayla's scarf!
Kwanele: Alright, I admit it! I killed Kayla! But it wasn't because I resented her new lifestyle... It was because I wanted to join SOMBRA!
Jack: What?! You know about SOMBRA?! So you DID know about Kayla's secret life!
Kwanele: After I returned her key, Kayla explained all about her double life. All those last minute "work trips" she went on were actually missions for some super-secret organization called SOMBRA! And this SOMBRA even genetically enhanced her to be super-intelligent! Naturally, I wanted in! I mean, who doesn't dream of being a super-soldier? So I decided to show some initiative. SOMBRA believes "the weak die," <Rank> <Name>... So what better way to impress them than by outsmarting one of their most intelligent recruits... And completing her mission!
Jack: So it was YOU who shot at Prince Abioye!
Kwanele: Yes, and it would've been my ticket into SOMBRA if that stupid bodyguard hadn't got in the way!
Jack: The only place you'll be getting a ticket into is jail, Kwanele! You're under arrest for the murder of Kayla Pieterse!

Diamond in the Rough

Carmen: Olivier Feraud, you're under arrest for the murder of Jude Connelly!
Olivier: What?! How could you think I was capable of doing such a thing?!
Carmen: I don't know, Olivier. How could you snack on fried caterpillars while brutally murdering your colleague?
Olivier: It's only the most popular snack around here, so I don't know how that connects me to Jude's murder...
Carmen: Oh you don't, huh? Even though you got covered in diamond dust when you murdered him?
Olivier: If that's all it takes to convict someone of murder, then you might as well arrest all the workers at the mine!
Carmen: But very few of those workers have your fetching little sunburn, Feraud. Or would have access to your fancy after-sun treatment!
Olivier: Alright! I did it! I killed Jude! But it was me or him! I had to kill him! It was self-defense!
Carmen: Man versus Giant Drilling Equipment doesn't sound like a fair fight to me, Olivier...
Olivier: Jude wanted me dead! I swear! After I snapped that photo at the mine... he said he'd kill me! Last night, we went to the mine, supposedly to do more research for the smuggling book, but Jude attacked me! So I blew dust in his eyes then ran to the machine and started it... He was staggering around blindly when the tip of the drill ripped through his shirt... then his skin... I have taken photos of some horrible things in my career, but that... I had no idea that... I just wanted to protect myself, but I ended up juicing him!
Carmen: That's enough, Feraud! You've told us everything we need to know. You're under arrest!

Going the Distance

Carmen: Lavinia De Brills! You're under arrest for the murder of Nomena Leroy!
Lavinia: I am quite sure I don't have a clue what you're talking about.
Carmen: The message you sent to Nomena: "Do what you're told!" That wasn't about the race, it was about the diamonds Nomena was smuggling for you!
Lavinia: What a marvelous imagination you have, <Rank> <Name>!
Carmen: So what happened, did Nomena want a bigger cut? She needed to go, but it had to look like an accident! That's why you planted the snake in her toolbox!
Lavinia: Toolbox, <Rank> <Name>? Do I look like a handyman to you?
Carmen: But I'm guessing you hadn't counted on Nomena stealing some of the diamonds for herself! Or us finding diamonds at the crime scene!
Carmen: Is that why you were carrying your derringer around? Were you afraid SOMBRA may come after you for your carelessness?
Lavinia: I don't need a gun for protection! I'm Lavinia De Brills, heiress of De Brills Diamonds! SOMBRA wouldn't dare touch me! I killed that stupid little girl for having the gall to blackmail me. She threatened to talk if I didn't give her her own rally team! What tiny dreams these peasants harbor.
Carmen: So you WERE smuggling diamonds for SOMBRA! How long has this been going on?
Lavinia: I've been smuggling my diamonds illegally for years. To avoid taxes, for extra profit, anything to keep me from total boredom. But then SOMBRA asked me to move a massive shipment for them!
Carmen: So where is the rest of the shipment? If you tell <Rank> <Name> where the diamonds are, it might go easier for you!
Lavinia: Give up my diamonds? You've got to be out of your mind! Now, be a good little doggie and fetch me my phone call.
Carmen: You can call your lawyer, but your days of ordering people around are over! You're under arrest!

In Plain Sight

Michelle: Angela Douglas, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for killing Lavinia and betraying the Bureau!
Angela: <Name>, are you serious? Surely you don't think I'm the mole!
Michelle: You really thought silencing Lavinia would throw <Rank> <Name> off your trail?
Angela: This is absurd! My autopsies helped you every single case, <Name>! I provided evidence against SOMBRA everywhere we went! How could I be the mole?
Michelle: You played your role convincingly! You even had the nerve to admit that you took painkillers, after highlighting it in your autopsy report as evidence! You tried every trick, from using Jack's gun to blaming Sanjay for stealing your wedding ring! But you couldn't fool <Name>!
Angela: <Name>, you're out of your mind! I have a family, Lars, my daughters... How could I be SOMBRA?
Michelle: You forget I worked for SOMBRA, too! I know how you tell yourself that it's just work... Except you chose to commit murder, frame your teammates... and hire a hitman!
Angela: <Name>! I never wanted to hurt you! I hired Aristide out of desperation when I didn't know what else to do!
Michelle: So you admit it! You're the mole!
Angela: I admit it. I'm SOMBRA. I'd been SOMBRA since before I joined the Bureau. I got away with it for years, genuinely helping the Bureau, but keeping SOMBRA informed of your moves. Not even Lars suspected anything. But eventually, things started to unravel. When our plane crashed in Madagascar, I knew SOMBRA wanted me dead. They thought I was too loyal to the Bureau. Recruiting Lavinia was my last-ditch attempt to prove I'm worth more alive than dead. But now it's over, <Name>. You got me. I surrender.
Michelle: Angela Douglas, you're under arrest for murder. But you have a lot more to answer for! See you in court!

South America

Ice Rage

Jack: Blair Carpenter, you're under arrest for the murder of Julia Lloyd!
Blair: Are you insane? What possible reason could I have to kill Julia?
Jack: Whatever your reasons, we know you murdered her. We found her blood on a packet of your beef jerky!
Blair: You mean that pocket you found on the scavenged ship, where everybody scavenges for supplies? Anyone could have opened that!
Jack: We know you attacked Julia, Mr Carpenter. We found fur from your jacket in the victim's wounds!
Blair: Fur... in the blood?... her blood... No, that's ridiculous! Everyone here is wearing fur. In case you hadn't noticed, it's freezing outside! You've been wearing fur since you got here!
Jack: It's over, Blair. We found your frostbite treatment cream on the victim's glove, which you took from her after you killed her!
Blair: Julia's glove... I did have Julia's glove. How did I get that? Her glove... I had her glove in my hand... And her blood on her hat... so much blood... there was blood everywhere!
Jack: Are you feeling alright, Mr Carpenter?
Marina: <Name>, could I have a word in private? I think I might know what's going on here.
Seconds later...
Jack: In case you hadn't noticed, Marina, <Name> was about to arrest Blair Carpenter... he was going to confess to the murder!
Marina: That's exactly why I'm here! <Name>, I believe Mr Carpenter is suffering from dissociative amnesia! It's a condition brought on by extreme stress, where people block memories from their minds to prevent further emotional trauma.
Jack: Whether Blair remembered killing Julia or not isn't the issue. That monster's going down for murder!
Marina: Even so, <Name>, I'd like to continue Blair's interrogation with you.
The interrogation continues...
Marina: Mr Carpenter, you remember being at the scene of the crime, where Julia was murdered. What else do you remember?
Blair: I... I remember the kayak paddle, I had it in my hands. And then I broke it in half!
Marina: Why did you break it?
Blair: Julia and I were talking... then arguing! I went to touch her hand but she pushed me away. That's when I broke the paddle and... And then I hit her! Oh God, I remember it now! I hit her over the head and she fell to the ground. Then I stabbed her with the paddle, over and over again!
Marina: Stay with me, Mr Carpenter. Now, tell me, why did you kill Julia?
Blair: I thought I'd found a kindred spirit. Julia was so innocent. It was so lonely here for both of us, I thought we shared something special! But when she rejected my advances... I couldn't bear it! The isolation, the desperate loneliness... the bleak, gray cold! In a fit of rage, I snapped! I couldn't go back to the loneliness, I couldn't! Mark my words, <Rank> <Name>! The South Pole is the real killer! It's harsh, unforgiving! Eventually, it gets us all!
Marina: Unfortunately, your inability to cope with this harsh and unforgiving environment has led you to commit murder. Mr Carpenter, you're under arrest for the murder of Julia Lloyd!

Murder, He Wrote

Michelle: Lorena Pratx, you're under arrest for the brutal murder of Ernesto Cárpena!
Lorena: M-me? <Rank> <Name>, oh no! I'm not at all the murderous type!
Michelle: Yes, you're the Borges-reading type! We found the quote you left at the library!
Lorena: Borges's books are very popular...
Michelle: I'm sure smoking is also popular, but torturing people with burning cigarettes isn't!
Lorena: You- you think I tortured Señor Cárpena?
Michelle: Drop the act! We found your blood on the book you used to knock Cárpena out!
(Lorena puts down her books and takes off her glasses, defeated.)
Lorena: So you know everything, <Rank> <Name>. I guess my harmless librarian disguise didn't fool you. It was Cárpena's own fault that I had to kill him! He wouldn't stop digging into the "treasure"... and so he crossed SOMBRA!
Michelle: So you knew the cache on the mountain was SOMBRA's! You must be one of their agents!
Lorena: So what? I'm not ashamed. SOMBRA is the future of this world. It's you who's living in the past.
Michelle: Apparently, you cared about the past enough to kill a man over it!
Lorena: I knew a SOMBRA cell hid a documents cache near here decades ago. But I didn't know where! When Cárpena stumbled upon its trail, I realized what he must've found... And I tried to stop him from searching, or at least delay him so I might find the hidden documents first, but he wouldn't quit! It was so troublesome. In the end, I had to torture Cárpena to discover what he knew and whom he'd told. Good timing, too. He'd started suspecting the "treasure" wasn't the gold he'd hoped to find.
Michelle: Do you even hear yourself?! I'll never understand how SOMBRA manages to train human feelings out of their agents!
Lorena: Feelings wouldn't have helped me do my job. Using what I learned from Cárpena, I tracked the documents down... and now they're safe from everyone.
Michelle: Safe where? What did you do with them?
Lorena: No comment, <Rank> <Name>.
Michelle: Well, here's one comment for you: you're under arrest!

Shadow Nation

Carmen: Ms Silva, you're under arrest for Adolfo Herrera's murder. Why'd you do it? Because you wanted his job?
Valentina: I didn't kill Herrera, <Rank> <Name>. I told you - I was plotting a coup, not a murder!
Carmen: Then how come <Rank> <Name> found traces of your Gabalium on the box of ammunition used to shoot him?
Valentina: Gabalium is mandatory for all citizens of working age. Anyone could've touched that ammunition!
Carmen: Then what about that threat you wrote on the constitution, telling Herrera he'd "die first"?
Valentina: Somebody defaced the constitution?! That... That counts as treason under article 342-
Carmen: Cut it out, Valentina! We found your DNA on the canteen you drank from after you shot Herrera from the surveillance post! A shot which only somebody with military training, like yourself, could've pulled off!
Valentina: Alright, I did it! I killed Herrera! But not for the reason you think! The truth is, I don't believe in the regime anymore. I used to think that we were making the country stronger... That the ends justified the means. I never understood why the old and weak complained they were pushed to the side... That we didn't allocate enough resources to them. The young generations prospered thanks to the elderly's sacrifice. I thought they should've felt honored to be contributing to Luzaguay's greatness! But then my own parents started getting old, and my mother got sick. I went to every doctor in the city, trying to find medication for her. But they all told me that rules were rules, and they couldn't make an exception for my mother because it'd be a waste of resources! I watched her suffer and die, <Rank> <Name>! All because our President decided that her life wasn't worth saving! Killing Herrera might've been wrong, but it would've allowed me to save countless lives once I became President!
Carmen: I wouldn't be so sure. We suspect Herrera's extreme policies came from an outside source. If you're withholding any information about SOMBRA, now is the time to share it if you want a lenient sentence.
Valentina: I'm sorry, <Rank> <Name>, but I was telling the truth when I said I hadn't heard of this SOMBRA!
Carmen: We're sorry for your loss, Valentina. But nothing justifies murder. You're under arrest for killing Adolfo Herrera!

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Jack: Claudio Aguirre, you're under arrest for the murder of Zoila Huanca!
Claudio: How could you ever think such a thing? I loved her!
Jack: You've got a funny way of showing it. We found the target on which you practiced your throwing. It's stained with squished cochineal bugs, just like your poncho!
Claudio: These bugs are everywhere in Peru... There are whole farms for them...
Jack: Please... We can prove you threw that Tumi at the victim, just from the angle at which it hit her!
Claudio: A Tumi! Where on earth would I get an ancient artifact like that?
Jack: From the case on which you left the ointment for all the scratches you have!
Claudio: ...... ENOUGH!!! Listen to me very carefully... I did kill Zoila Huanca. She was in my way.
Jack: In your way to do what?
(Claudio's monkey jumps off his shoulder.)
Claudio: To do what? MUTINY, of course! I came here to exact the Wrath of God on Zoila Huanca and SOMBRA!
Jack: Wait a minute! You know about SOMBRA?!
Claudio: I used to work for them, but no more! I work for NO ONE! SOMBRA's ideas are not the way forward. But my ideas ARE! These fools! They recruited me, but little did they know... I am the ultimate conquistador! I will take over the world!
Jack: Maybe you should just take a chill pill, Mr Wrath of God!
Claudio: My will makes the earth tremble! My thoughts make birds fall from the sky! I alone will remove man's order and replace it with my own laws!
Jack: I've heard enough of your nonsense! Your will involved killing Zoila Huanca, so you're under arrest and you're coming with us!'''

Cheaters Never Win

Michelle: Mr Edson Caetano, you're under arrest for the murder of Oscar Rojas! It's a sad day for the Olympics when murder is necessary to win the gold.
Edson: <Rank> <Name>, I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't kill Oscar.
Michelle: The proof speaks for itself. We found a piece of your Olympic bib at the crime scene.
Edson (holding water bottle): This is the Olympics. There are many athletes here. That could belong to anyone.
Michelle: True, but would their bibs be covered in the same drug concoction you used to kill Oscar? We found your vial of ayahuasca!
Edson (putting bottle down): Drugs are bad! I would never use drugs to hurt anyone! And using ayahuasca incorrectly brings bad luck!
Michelle: And we know how important luck is to you. We found your broken talisman near Oscar's dead body!
Edson (holding back tears): I cannot lie anymore! The guilt is too much! I killed Oscar... but it was an accident!
Michelle: An accident? How does one accidentally shove a syringe in someone's neck?
Edson: Oscar was going to take the gold in all of our competitions. He was unbeatable. But he was cheating! I just wanted him out of the way... long enough for me to win... at least once.
Michelle: Killing him to win the gold isn't really in line with the Olympic spirit.
Edson: It wasn't like that. I was at the favela bar when some men approached me. They said they knew Oscar was cheating and wanted to help. The men said if I injected a small dose of ayahuasca into Oscar, he'd be too high to compete. I'd have a chance at winning. But when I injected the ayahuasca, I realized something was wrong. Oscar wasn't moving. He was dead!
Michelle: So you injected Oscar with a potent hallucinogenic that "some men" gave you?! Who are these men?
Edson (putting bottle down, crying): I don't know! I was under pressure! I just took what they gave me!
Michelle: I understand the Olympics put a lot of pressure on an athlete, but that doesn't excuse murder. Edson Caetano, you're under arrest for killing your competitor, Oscar Rojas!

The King's Shadow

Carmen: Arsenio Castillo, <Rank> <Name> is arresting you for Michelle Zuria's murder! And before you try to deny it: we know everything! We've chased SOMBRA halfway through the world! <Rank> <Name> arrested many of your cronies! And now we've finally got YOU, "El Rey"!
Arsenio: Slow down, <Rank> <Name>! I'm an old man, I can't keep up. What is it you think I've done?
Carmen: After a lifetime of leading SOMBRA, your crimes would take too long to list! But you're finally going down for killing our agent!
Arsenio: Is it still about that woman? The one who was my lawyer? I told you, I didn't even remember her!
Carmen: You're lying! She was SOMBRA's lawyer before she joined the Bureau! That's how you recognized her when we arrived in Campanilla!
Arsenio: I told you, <Rank> <Name>... I was innocent back then... And I'm still innocent now!
Carmen: You got away with murder once, probably thanks to Michelle! But this time, you had <Rank> <Name> to reckon with! Letting the bell crush Michelle was a clever way to kill her! But it doesn't mean we can't prove you did it! We found your DNA on her necklace!
Arsenio: I'm impressed, <Rank> <Name>. Yes, I did kill Michelle myself. But there's no shame in going to jail for killing a Bureau agent. At my age, it's quite a feat!
Carmen: So you admit it! You killed Michelle because she became a Bureau agent, and led us to you!
Arsenio: She should never have been allowed to live after she betrayed us! And she had the audacity to bring you Bureau vermin to MY hometown! Of course, I recognized her in the tower! El Rey never forgets those who betray him! I laughed as the bell flattened the little traitor to a pancake! Leaving that book page in her pocket was probably my downfall. But at least others will learn from that traitor's fate. I don't care you caught me, <Rank> <Name>. This is a glorious end to my long career!
Carmen: Your reign is definitely over, "El Rey"! You're under arrest!

North America

Day of the Dead

Jack: Madena Cuervo, you're under arrest for the murder of Cindy Hamilton!
Madena: Me, murder Ms Hamilton? That's absurd! I told you, I'm a peaceful protester!
Jack: I wouldn't call stringing someone up and beating them to death with an Aztec piñata bat peaceful! It must have taken a lot of rage.
Madena: I'm hearing a lot of speculation, <Rank> <Name>, but no proof that I did anything!
Jack: You can cut the act! We found your tequila soaked into the rope you used to tie up the victim!
Madena: Tequila? One of the most popular drinks in Mexico? That's hardly evidence!
Jack: We also found it on the cloth you used to clean your opal earrings!
Madena: I... <Rank> <Name>... if you start arresting everyone who's wearing opals, you'll be pretty busy!
Jack: What I don't get is you murdered her so brutally, and for what? Because you couldn't go on vacations with your daughter anymore?
Madena: What? No! I killed Cindy because I'd never be able to see my daughter at all! My daughter was born in America... she lives there with her father. We've been divorced a long time, and I rarely get to see my darling Rose. But once this wall is completed, I'll never get to see her again! All border crossings will be prohibited for Mexicans, and it won't be safe for her to travel here! I tried to convince Cindy to do something, anything! But she laughed at us, calling my daughter a half-breed!
Jack: And that's when you snapped, and killed her!
Madena: When I realized what I had done, I decided to make an example of her, to draw attention to my cause. So I strung her up like a piñata, to show the world that Mexico wouldn't allow itself to be brutalized at the hands of America!
Jack: Taking the law into your own hands is never the answer. Madena Cuervo, you're under arrest for the murder of Cindy Hamilton!

Up in Smoke

Carmen: Terrance Williams, you're under arrest for the premeditated murder of Sandy Turner!
Terrance: You've got the wrong guy, <Rank> <Name>. I'm a student. I don't kill people, I read books.
Carmen: Yeah, and I bet you smoke weed at the same time, just like when you crafted this detonator to trigger Sandy Turner's explosive tie pin.
Terrance: What detonator?! I don't know what you mean, man.
Carmen: Don't play dumb. We found your blueprints. You left quinoa all over them.
Terrance: And? Everyone here eats quinoa! It's cheap, and healthy! That doesn't make me a killer!
Carmen: No, but your blood does. You left some on Sandy's tie pin when you made the switch with the murder weapon. The game is over, Terrance.
Terrance: Fine, you got me! But I needed money! You don't know what it is to be a student nowadays! It's not just the student loans! There's rent, food, books!
Carmen: Most students get jobs to put themselves through college! They don't resort to murder!
Terrance: They paid well. And I didn't mind cleaning this country from the plague that was Sandy Turner!
Carmen: Wait, "they"? Someone paid you to do this? Who are they?!
Terrance: I don't know and I don't care. They say they were from the USNay movement, that's how they got my email address. I never met them, everything's been done through the web.
Carmen: Someone sends you an email asking you to kill someone, and you do it without question?
Terrance: They gave me a ton of money to kill Sandy! And promised more when the job was done. That was all I needed to know.
Carmen: Here's something else that you need to know: you're under arrest!

Lifeless in Seattle

Jack (shocked): Mrs Purnell, I can't believe it. How could you kill your own daughter?!
Virginia: Me? Murder my own daughter? How could you think such a thing, <Rank> <Name>?
Jack: Well, there's the burn marks your mocha left on her skin when you threw it in her face...
Virginia: Why would I throw my coffee in her face?! She was my daughter - we loved each other!
Jack (wondering): Then how do you explain the fact we found your copy of the Star Spangled Banner, covered in your daughter's blood?
Virginia (sweating): I... I seem to have misplaced my anthem, it's true. But surely...
Jack: Just admit it, Mrs Purnell... <Rank> <Name> found your DNA on the allergy treatment you left at the crime scene! You killed your daughter!
Virginia: No! I... I remember hurting someone, but she had NOTHING in common with my sweet little girl! That woman in the bus wouldn't even look up from her phone to greet me! It was like I was nothing to her! It wasn't enough that she broke her father's heart when she left for the big city, never bothering to call, or come back to visit... It wasn't enough that she didn't bother to come home when Hector got sick, despite my pleas! But she didn't even come to her own father's funeral! She left me to mourn him all alone! That woman I hurt... She wasn't my daughter. She'd become a monster!
Jack: And monsters have to be slain, is that it?
Virginia: Yes. I threw my coffee in her face first, and then... I saw the knife... I was so ANGRY... I just wanted my sweet little girl back... So I walked over to the couch and struck her. I didn't think I'd have the strength, but the knife went in easily... And then it was over.
Jack: Mrs Purnell, you do realize you killed your daughter, don't you? She might have changed, but she was still your child.
Virginia: I... No... I... My baby girl... My sweet little girl... Oh, <Rank> <Name>, what kind of a mother am I?! I killed my own child!
Jack (disappointed): I don't have an answer to that... I'm sorry, Mrs Purnell, but you're under arrest.

Double Trouble

Carmen: Joel Heller, you're under arrest for the murder of Niilo Virtanen, and the attempted murder of Jack Archer!
Joel: That's ridiculous! I was reporting you to my superior officer when they were shot!
Carmen: How long would that conversation have taken? Ten minutes... TOPS. You still had time to shoot Jack and use the remote-controlled rifle to kill Virtanen! But loading the Jack London's Collected Works to that tablet was a rookie mistake...
Joel: That doesn't prove anything! Anybody could've downloaded that! Jack London is a popular author in Alaska!
Carmen: Maybe, but the Alaskan malamute hair you left all over the rifle assembly manual proves that it was you!
Joel: You're not making a convincing case. The CEO of Bearing Straight owns 12 of those dogs!
Carmen: But Ms Naylon didn't leave skin cells on the gun used to shoot Jack. We've got your DNA, Heller! It's over!
Joel: I knew this mission was impossible from the start... But I was doing my part, contributing to SOMBRA's greatest work!
Carmen: You work for SOMBRA?!
Joel: Officially, I work for the Unified Nations. Infiltrating them was child's play, as was gaining Virtanen's trust until he refused to go anywhere without me!
Carmen: I don't get it. Why would SOMBRA want Virtanen dead?!
Joel: Not just dead. Dead on US soil, during a tense time in international relationships. Who do you think the Unified Nations will blame for this murder? A mythical organization nobody's heard of? Or homegrown US radicals? I gave SOMBRA what it wanted: the tensions between the US and the Unified Nations are now at breaking point!
Carmen: I'm starting to understand. First, SOMBRA funds USNay to turn the American population against the Unified Nations... ...Then they anger the Unified Nations by killing an envoy on official business in America. But what does SOMBRA achieve by pitting the US and the UN against each other?
Joel: That's for you to find out, <Rank> <Name>. I shall watch with interest.
Carmen: You'll watch from behind bars! Joel Heller, you're under arrest!

Politically Incorrect

Jack: Sidney Hirsch, you're under arrest for the murder of Jonathan Stafford! You're the Director of Homeland Security! Why would you kill a member of your staff? Suspending him should've been enough to keep the President safe!
Sidney: <Rank> <Name>, I don't have time for your games. I have to protect this nation from impending dangers.
Jack: You should start by protecting them from yourself 'cause a seasoned hunter who knows his way around large game rifles is indeed an impending danger.
Sidney: So I can hunt. That doesn't make me a murderer. I like the rodeo too, but that doesn't make me a cowboy.
Jack: No, but your rodeo tickets covered in the victim's blood sure do scream yippee-ki-killer!
Sidney: This is preposterous! I'm a high-ranking official of the US government. I serve my country well!
Jack: You serve your country so well that your US flag lapel pin gave you away. It was the bloody nail in your coffin!
(Sidney sweats, speechless.)
Sidney (crying): <Rank> <Name>, you found me out! I killed Jonathan! I killed the man I love!
Jack: Well, you- wait? What?!
Sidney: I was in love with Jonathan. He was so strong, yet sensitive. I know he was much younger than me, but I couldn't resist.
Jack: You were having an affair with Stafford? But I thought he was having an affair with the First Lady! Exactly how many people was our victim sleeping with?!
Sidney: Olivia was just using him! She didn't love him like I did! He fell for her tricks like a fool!
Jack: So you didn't suspend him because he was a liability! You did it because you were jealous!
Sidney: I thought suspending him would get him to see things clearly. But that just made him angry. We met at the lake for lunch before he was to board his helicopter flight. I tried talking to him, but he pushed me away. Called me old.
Jack: So that's when you got the rifle and shot him. But why did you try to give him CPR?
Sidney (crying): I realized I had shot the man I loved! I just wanted him back!
Jack: Don't play coy with us. You planned the whole thing, got the gun, shot Stafford, then packed the rifle neatly in its case, like it was nothing. Now, you know... Killing those you love doesn't win you their love. It just wins you prison time. Mr Hirsch, you're under arrest!

Operation Spyfall

Carmen: Anya Ivanova, <Rank> <Name>'s arresting you for Jean Connerie's murder, and the attempted murder of Asal Hawaa!
Anya: <Rank> <Name>, do I look like I can take down two people with my bare hands?
Carmen: Oh, don't play the delicate flower, Anya. You're a trained fighter, and you also had a knife. You also had the element of surprise on your side.
Anya: I understand you're under pressure to solve this case, <Rank> <Name>. And you can't arrest a CIA or an MGB agent, so you're trying to bully ME into a confession.
Carmen: We have solid evidence against you! We recovered Connerie's fake mustache from the crime scene, with your nail polish on it!
Anya: I told you, <Rank> <Name>: all I wanted was to find the hard drive! You'd be better off looking for it instead of harassing me!
Carmen: Stop pretending you're looking for that hard drive! You gloated about taking it in your threat to the Bureau! And we know YOU diverted the satellite in the first place! What I don't get is how COSMORUS authorized you to commit murder! Or did you think you still worked for the MGB with a license to kill?
Anya: Ha! Like I still work for any of those idiots! I did it for SOMBRA!
Carmen: YOU? You work for SOMBRA? You used to be hell-bent on bringing them down!
Anya: Until I realized they appreciated my talents so much more than the MGB or COSMORUS! I decided to join the winning side, <Rank> <Name>!
Carmen: You're hardly on the winning side now! You're going to jail, and you'll have to surrender the hard drive!
Anya: You really thought I'd just give it to you, <Rank> <Name>? The hard drive's safely hidden in a place where you'll never find it!
Carmen: Then <Rank> <Name> will just have to get it the hard way! You're under arrest for Jean Connerie's murder!

Down to the Wire

Carmen (pointing gun): Your SOMBRA days are over, El Rey. Killing Stone was your undoing!
Hector: "El Rey"?! What are you talking about, <Rank> <Name>? I don't appreciate being hauled in here and interrogated at gunpoint!
Carmen: Drop the act, Montoya! We know everything! From the way Castillo handed you control over SOMBRA years ago... ...to SOMBRA's plans of using their satellite to render any country in the world powerless!
Hector: You've certainly done your homework, <Rank> <Name>. But if you fancy yourself strong for catching me... ...then you know nothing of true strength!
Carmen (putting gun down): Your... your head...
Hector: Don't make the mistake of thinking these scars are a weakness, <Rank> <Name>. They're a daily reminder that the truly strong, like me, are rare! I was tested by fire as a child. My parents died in the flames like the weak creatures they were... but I survived! That's when I realized life was not a gift, you have to fight for it!
Carmen: Great... Even as a boy, you were a sociopath!
Hector: I'm no sociopath, I'm a realist. Look at this world! It's weak, pathetic. Leaders are spineless, all bark and no bite! When I met Castillo decades ago, I was immediately drawn to SOMBRA's ideology... the smart rule, the strong command... the weak die. I was young, but Castillo recognized I had the strength to make this philosophy a reality, so he handed me the title of El Rey! Luzaguay was our first success, proof that SOMBRA's vision for the world can work!
Carmen: So that's been SOMBRA's plan all along? Turn the entire world into brainless slaves? Let the weak and old perish while you rule over everyone?
Hector: Only the strong deserve to rule... The new order has begun!
Carmen (pointing gun): In case you haven't realized, your new order is finished! You've been forced out of the shadows, El Rey.
Hector: You've forced nothing! You think your pitiful discussions with a powerless Prime Minister concerned me?
Carmen (putting gun down): They concerned you enough to kill him. And thanks to that, we've got you behind bars, where you belong! SOMBRA is finished!
Hector: Look at the destruction we've caused already! I've brought the world to the brink of war, and putting me away won't change that! Look at you, thinking you're so clever. You know nothing, <Rank> <Name>! You don't even realize your own Chief Ripley helped SOMBRA from the beginning!
Carmen: We... what?!
Chief Ripley: I wished you hadn't said that, Montoya!

The Darkest Hour

Jack (pointing his gun): Sarah Bennett, you're under arrest for kidnapping the President and killing your accomplice, Natasha Romanova!
Sarah: What? <Rank> <Name>, have you gone mad?
Jack: What's mad is a US Vice President working for SOMBRA! Who knew their reach extended this far!
Sarah: How dare you accuse me! Agents, take them away!
(Agent Riordan and the unnamed agent go in front of Sarah, with the latter pointing a gun at Jack and the player.)
Unnamed FBI Agent: Yes, ma'am!
Jack (pointing his gun to the air): Now, wait a second-
(Sarah escapes while Agent Riordan points his gun to the cops as well.)
Unnamed FBI Agent: <Rank> <Name>, leave now or surrender your weapon!
Jack: Let us through! The Vice President's getting away! By the Bureau's authority-
Riordan (lowering his gun): Your authority holds no weight here. Stand down or submit to your arrest!
Jack: <Name>, what do we do? ...Alright, alright. We're standing down. Let us go.
Back at headquarters...
Jack: <Name>, what should we do?! The Vice President's escaped, and we don't know where she or the President are! Now she knows we're onto her, it's only a matter of time until she kills the President! And then there'll be no stopping World War III!
Baxter: <Rank> <Name>, I need to talk to you!
Jack: Baxter?! How did you get out of your cell?
Baxter: I broke the door, it doesn't matter! <Name>, I know where the President is!
Jack: So you admit you were involved in the kidnapping!
Baxter: Not willingly! The Vice President... she used my SOMBRA programming against me! She made me help her kidnap him!
Jack: Why didn't you tell us earlier?! We could've saved the President already, prevented the US from declaring war!
Baxter: My thoughts... they were all scrambled... I hadn't had SOMBRA control my brain in a long time! But I remember now! <Name>, the President is in the catacombs! That's where the Vice President's heading!
Jack: The New York catacombs are a maze! We'll never find them in there!
Dupont: <Name>, let me be your guide! I know these catacombs like the back of my hand!
Jack: Dupont, you're about the last person I'd take into the field!
Dupont: It's not like you've got a choice! I'll fall back at any hint of danger! You need me, <Name>!
Jack: I really don't like this... But I agree we don't have a choice. Alright, <Name>, let's go rescue the President! We won't let SOMBRA win!
In the catacombs...
Jack: Dupont, are you sure you know where you're going?
Dupont: Yes... There must be a cavern just there to the left... <Name>, right this way!
Several minutes later...
(Sarah is holding a gun against the temple of President Hewett, who is gagged with a tie.)
Sarah: Don't come a step closer, <Rank> <Name>!
Jack: Ms Bennett, the game's over! Killing the President won't help you. We know everything!
Sarah: Whatever you know, no one will believe you!
Jack: We know you're a SOMBRA agent and Natasha Romanova's accomplice in the kidnapping! We have proof you subdued Natasha with hand-to-hand combat techniques you learned in the military... ...and then slit her throat with the President's letter opener. We have residue from your sleeping pills on it!
Sarah: Unless you've somehow got a witness, this is worth nothing!
Jack: Baxter told us everything! We know how you made him help you!
Sarah: So that's what it is! That halfwit blabbed! His brainwashing was always faulty, but I didn't expect it to slip again so soon!
Jack: Now you have to stop this madness! Let the President go and-
Sarah: Let him go? I don't think so! He's only still alive because El Rey wanted to kill him personally... but I might end him here and now! Just like you! You should've all died in an explosion at your headquarters, but I guess you got lucky... or my agent got soft.
Sarah (firing her gun at Jack): No matter! You'll die now, in the name of SOMBRA!
(The bullet grazes Jack's head, giving him a wound that starts bleeding, as well as cutting off some of his hair.)
Dupont (holding Jack): Jack!! <Name>, we need to stop the bleeding!
Jack (pressing against the wound): No, don't waste time on me, <Name>! Get her! I'll live!
Dupont: <Name>, I'll help you! We'll bring her down!
Sarah (firing her gun at Dupont): No, you won't! And <Rank> <Name>, you're next!
Dupont (shot in the chest): Nooooooo!
(Dupont collapses.)
Jack: Dupont!!
Sarah: You shouldn't have got in my way, old man!
Jack (firing his gun at Sarah): And you shouldn't have done that!
(Sarah points her gun to the air before she gets shot in the head with Jack's bullet. She then collapses.)
James (removing his gag): My goodness...
Jack (holding Dupont in the shoulder and on his wound): Dupont! Are you- <Name>, he needs help!
James (holding the tie): I... thank you, <Rank> <Name>! You saved me, but I don't understand! Why did Sarah do all this?
Jack: You're safe now, Mr President, that's what matters! We'll explain later! We have to get our colleague to the hospital!