Quotes / Crack Pairing

"At last she saw past superficialities to understand that it was Santa, with his warm and loyal heart, who was the real man - not cobalt-eyed, washboard-abbed Blade at all! Santa Claus was always her best friend - could he be something more?"

"No. Absolutely not. Under no circumstances. He cannot."

— How NOT to Write a Novel

"Also, the image of Agent Smith slithering up and down Patrick Stewart's body, snake-style, is one that will haunt us until the end of our days, thanks so much."

— Kate Lawrence, "The 5 Most Baffling Sex Scenes in the History of Fanfiction"

"Like if Hulk were dating Peppermint Patty!"

— Howard Wolowitz, The Big Bang Theory

Anonymous: Gl'bgolyb and Snowman, Rose and Wayward Vagabond, and then the Summoner's Horns and the Sufferer's/Signless's abs.
Aradia Megido: d0 y0u see these ships here
theyre y0urs
all y0urs
pr0bably 0nly y0urs

— Ask The Ram (a fan-made Homestuck Character Blog)

"But then again, people would also ship things like Colonel Sassacre and the pogo ride in John's backyard. Do you know why? Because I made the mistake of including them both in the same story."

— Andrew Hussie, Homestuck Book Two

"We love the fan fic and fan art. Although the ones where Tobias and Harry Potter screw, I'm just not sure about those. I'm just not sure raptor-wizard sex is advisable."

— K. A. Applegate

"I know. I KNOW. We could never be, right? Dragon and Spirit Healer... two different worlds! Not to mention the physiological problems. But you're wrong. We have a deeper connection than that. Anara and I, we're involved."

— Azuregos, World of Warcraft

"Still a better love story than Twilight."

— The Internet

"There's a ship for everything. If someone told me Josephine got shipped with Rajih, I am not surprised."

—A comment on the Evillious Chronicles Wiki

Have you actually read Cardcaptor Sakura? There’s some f**ked up s**t in that. If you read the manga, that it’s based on, there’s a 30 year-old who’s engaged to an 8 year-old. The same people who made Cardcaptor Sakura made a manga that I really liked in middle school called X1999, which is a terrible movie but an okay anime. The comic got canceled halfway through, and I checked out Cardcaptor Sakura, and found out that the way I think these ladies who wrote it write romance is that they have a dartboard that they write everyone’s name on, and they have darts that they write everyone’s name on, and then they blindfold themselves and then they throw them at the dartboard.

— Kel McDonald

I am sure we have all wondered how an erotic encounter between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader would play out...

— Blurb of WhatTheFanfic community

"You took my daughter from me. Now you will give me another one," said the Summer Queen.

— An untitled Dresden Files fic

"You know what makes me really upset? The fact that I am the only one who likes this pairing and the only one producing content for it."

— Dorito-Queen-Celeste, "It really isn't", commenting on her Sonic/Zor ship

"Okay, I draw the line at Zombie!Ned, Hellspawn!Hitler slash!"

— Agent Steven Fontwell, Protectors of the Plot Continuum, "How Will I Clean My Fur?"

Nick: [on time travel] We could study the long-term effects we're having on our environment. We could, uh...
Mike Nelson: Send Bob Saget to meet Charlemagne.

— Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffing of Time Chasers

"Oh Chuckles," cried Seven. "I realised that we have so much in common. We both have funny-shaped things on our foreheads, we both think facial expressions are irrelevant, and...er...that's it."

— It Was Your Blood (Part Spoof), a Star Trek: Voyager Parody Fic

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