I've been ordered to take you back to Washington, where the DOD will label you as a rogue extremist, and hang the Kremlin bombing on you and your team. Unless... you were to escape somewhere between here and the airport, having assaulted Mr. Brandt and me. You would then illegally scrounge whatever material you could from a backup supply cache that I've overlooked. The same cache where your team are waiting for further orders. You will then disappear, and this conversation never having taken place, your intentions would be... unclear. But if any one of your team is caught or killed, they will be branded terrorists, out to incite global nuclear war.
— IMF Secretary, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
You might very well think that. I could not possibly comment.
"Wait!" I said suddenly.
She paused.
I think my heart had stopped beating. I started shaking, everywhere. "You said that you know Harry. Not knew him. Know. Present tense."
"Did I?"
"You said you don't know how he manages to put up with me. Manages. Present tense."
"Did I?"
"Auntie," I asked her, and I could barely whisper. "Auntie... is Harry... is he alive?"
Lea turned to me very slowly, and her eyes glinted with green, wicked knowledge. "I did not say that he was alive, child. And neither should you. Not yet."
She paused.
I think my heart had stopped beating. I started shaking, everywhere. "You said that you know Harry. Not knew him. Know. Present tense."
"Did I?"
"You said you don't know how he manages to put up with me. Manages. Present tense."
"Did I?"
"Auntie," I asked her, and I could barely whisper. "Auntie... is Harry... is he alive?"
Lea turned to me very slowly, and her eyes glinted with green, wicked knowledge. "I did not say that he was alive, child. And neither should you. Not yet."
—The Dresden Files, "Bombshells"
Bob Loblaw: I'd be very careful of these British people. They're going to try to get their hands on any evidence they can to hurt the family.
George Sr.: So, you're saying "shred the evidence"?
Bob Loblaw: No, that's illegal. The prosecution is entitled to that evidence. Without it, they don't have a case.
George Sr.: So, you're saying "shred the evidence"?
Bob Loblaw: That's a felony. And I certainly couldn't endorse anything like that.
George Sr.: Got ya. Wink.
George Sr.: So, you're saying "shred the evidence"?
Bob Loblaw: No, that's illegal. The prosecution is entitled to that evidence. Without it, they don't have a case.
George Sr.: So, you're saying "shred the evidence"?
Bob Loblaw: That's a felony. And I certainly couldn't endorse anything like that.
George Sr.: Got ya. Wink.
— Arrested Development, "Forget-Me-Now"
Q: Where can I download a copy of the Pac-Man ROMs?
A: The Pac-Man ROMs are under copyright to NAMCO Bandai, LTD and are their intellectual property. I cannot legally provide you with them, and I certainly cannot recommend that you go to Google
right away [...] because you would probably find them after a little searching.
A: The Pac-Man ROMs are under copyright to NAMCO Bandai, LTD and are their intellectual property. I cannot legally provide you with them, and I certainly cannot recommend that you go to Google
right away [...] because you would probably find them after a little searching.(Homer visits the Shelbyville Orphanage in search of his brother.)
Director: I know how you feel, Mr. Simpson. I myself have spent years searching for my long-lost twin brother.
Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I wish I could help you, but we're looking for my brother today. Can you tell me his name?
Director: Hmm. According to our records, a Mr. and Mrs. Powell adopted your brother and named him Herbert.
Homer: Herbert! Herbert Powell! Great! Where can I find him?
Director: I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to release that information.
Homer: Oh, please, please! This is my life we're talking about here! Please!
Director: Well, I-I do sympathize with your situation, Mr. Simpson. After all your brother could be anywhere. Even... Detroit.
Homer: I know he could be anywhere, that's why I want you to narrow it down! Please!
Director: You know, Mr. Simpson, if you ask me, the city of Brotherly Love isn't Philadelphia. It's... Detroit.
Homer: Well, if you ask me, changing the subject makes you the most worthless, heartless excuse for a human being I ever—
Director: Read between the lines, you fool!
Homer: Oh! Oh, I get it! (takes out his wallet) Okay! Here's twenty bucks. Now will you tell me where my brother lives?
Director: Mr. Simpson, I don't want your—
Homer: Just take it and tell me!
Director: (frustrated) Detroit. He lives in Detroit.
Homer: Fine! Thank you!
Director: I know how you feel, Mr. Simpson. I myself have spent years searching for my long-lost twin brother.
Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I wish I could help you, but we're looking for my brother today. Can you tell me his name?
Director: Hmm. According to our records, a Mr. and Mrs. Powell adopted your brother and named him Herbert.
Homer: Herbert! Herbert Powell! Great! Where can I find him?
Director: I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to release that information.
Homer: Oh, please, please! This is my life we're talking about here! Please!
Director: Well, I-I do sympathize with your situation, Mr. Simpson. After all your brother could be anywhere. Even... Detroit.
Homer: I know he could be anywhere, that's why I want you to narrow it down! Please!
Director: You know, Mr. Simpson, if you ask me, the city of Brotherly Love isn't Philadelphia. It's... Detroit.
Homer: Well, if you ask me, changing the subject makes you the most worthless, heartless excuse for a human being I ever—
Director: Read between the lines, you fool!
Homer: Oh! Oh, I get it! (takes out his wallet) Okay! Here's twenty bucks. Now will you tell me where my brother lives?
Director: Mr. Simpson, I don't want your—
Homer: Just take it and tell me!
Director: (frustrated) Detroit. He lives in Detroit.
Homer: Fine! Thank you!
—The Simpsons, "Oh Brother Where Art Thou"
Player Character: Are you going to make fun of me for the jail thing?
Razum-Dar: What? This one would never note that this is the second time he's saving you. From jail. In less than a month. Not out loud anyway.
Razum-Dar: What? This one would never note that this is the second time he's saving you. From jail. In less than a month. Not out loud anyway.
But...there's nothing they could have done...since even if they had wanted to confess...they couldn't have...Because they weren't made that way. So...I want you guys to try and guess. (...) The Future Foundation spy, the traitor hidden amongst us...who do you think it is?
—Chiaki Nanami, Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair
(while Bob is getting chewed out for using Could Say It, But... to help people navigate Insuricare's bureaucracy)
Bob: Are you saying we shouldn't help our customers?
Mr. Huph: The law requires that I answer no.
Bob: Are you saying we shouldn't help our customers?
Mr. Huph: The law requires that I answer no.
I want to say that I knew it was you all along, but I can't because I didn't.
— Doofenshmirtz after Perry reveals himself at Evil Con, Phineas and Ferb
"You'll notice more obscenity than we usually use. That's not just because it's on Showtime, and we want to get some attention. It's also a legal matter. If one calls people liars and quacks, one can be sued and lose a lot of one's money. But "motherfuckers" and "assholes" is pretty safe. If we said it was all scams, we could also be in trouble. But BULLSHIT, oddly, is safe. So forgive all the bullshit language. We're trying to talk about the truth without spending the rest of our lives in court because of litigious motherfuckers!"
—Penn Jillette, introducing the first episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit!
Kevin Durham: What I find quite interesting as well was that you introduced something in the first episode by saying this, and you can say "bullshit" and call people "motherfuckers", but you can't call them quacks?
Penn Jillette: Yeah, well that isn't actually true. There is a case to be made that if you call somebody a motherfucker or a dipshit, and you've said before that motherfucker or dipshit means "liar", you can be busted for that. The magic words, at least in U.S. slander law, the magic words are "liar" and "quack," those get you in trouble right away. So we would have our legal team look over and say "Can't you call this guy an asshole instead?" because in the court case they then have to go to court and prove that by asshole you meant liar, and not something else and that they are not a liar. It puts another level of, another burden on them to prove that to be able to sue you. And we did 88 shows, we were never sued successfully, we were pretty careful.
Durham: Well done! And wasn't there a quite novel way that you got around using the word "quack"?
Penn: Yes, we did a show on chiropractors, they told us it was very very important that we never ever say the word "quack" and it's hard to write a show on chiropractors without saying "quack"... so we got a bunch of ducks, they were all at our feet for the entire show. And ducks, it turns out, can quack all they want!
Penn Jillette: Yeah, well that isn't actually true. There is a case to be made that if you call somebody a motherfucker or a dipshit, and you've said before that motherfucker or dipshit means "liar", you can be busted for that. The magic words, at least in U.S. slander law, the magic words are "liar" and "quack," those get you in trouble right away. So we would have our legal team look over and say "Can't you call this guy an asshole instead?" because in the court case they then have to go to court and prove that by asshole you meant liar, and not something else and that they are not a liar. It puts another level of, another burden on them to prove that to be able to sue you. And we did 88 shows, we were never sued successfully, we were pretty careful.
Durham: Well done! And wasn't there a quite novel way that you got around using the word "quack"?
Penn: Yes, we did a show on chiropractors, they told us it was very very important that we never ever say the word "quack" and it's hard to write a show on chiropractors without saying "quack"... so we got a bunch of ducks, they were all at our feet for the entire show. And ducks, it turns out, can quack all they want!
—Penn Jillette again, in a 2014 interview
Dave Barry: [About a cigarette ad campaign featuring a fictional man named "Dave"] "You could make up any story you wanted about what 'Dave' did, because 'Dave' is not real! ...On the other hand, you must be very, very careful when you talk about real people. An example of a real person would be Geoffrey C. Bible, who is the chief executive officer of Philip Morris.
Because Geoffrey C. Bible is real, you should not use the name 'Geoffrey C. Bible' in a derogatory way. You should not, for example, say, 'Darn it! The dog made Geoffrey C. Bible on the carpet again!' Nor should you permit your youngsters to use expressions such as 'Tommy stuck his finger way up into his nose and pulled out a big old Geoffrey C. Bible!' Nor should you say that a person caught engaging in an unnatural act of romance with a sheep was 'doing the Geoffrey C. Bible.' That would be wrong."
—Dave Barry, "The name game" (1996)
"As I've said in the past, I would never, ever, go so far as to explicitly say that virtual currency, that microtransactions, that lootboxes are a form of money laundering. I would never... explicitly say it."
"I know what you're thinking, Jonathan, but we live by a code, which is why I'm not the one telling you that a certain helicopter at a certain helipad is being fueled for a certain someone."
—Winston, John Wick
"And being men, bearing the will of Caesar,
It will inflame you, it will make you mad.
'Tis good you know not that you are his heirs.
For, if you should - Oh, what would come of it!"
— Mark Antony, Julius Caesar
