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Quotes / Code Emergency

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Rimmer: Go to Blue Alert.
Lister: What for? There's no one to alert, we're all here.
Rimmer: I'd just feel more comfortable if we were all on our toes because everyone's aware it's a Blue Alert situation.
Lister: We all are on our toes!
Rimmer: May I remind you all of Space Corps Directive 34124?
Kryten: 34124. "No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity".
Rimmer: Damn you both, all the way to Hades! I want to go to Blue Alert!
Lister: Okay, okay.
[He presses a button; a sign reading 'Alert' in blue lighting begins flashing pathetically in the corner of the cabin]
Rimmer: Thank you. A bit of professionalism.
[...]
Rimmer: Step up to Red Alert!
Kryten: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.
Red Dwarf, "Legion".

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