Jakoby: Everywhere I go, why do orcs always have to be the bad guys?
Kandomere: An orc with a badge?
Montehugh: Now there’s something you don’t see everyday, eh, Boss? Kinda like seeing an elf with a mop.
Ward: You good? No holes?
Jakoby: Uh, just the ones I was born with. How’re your holes?
Ward: How the fuck can you make a shootout awkward?
Jakoby: My teeth are filed! I am unblooded! My father’s unblooded! His father’s unblooded! I have been shit on by orcs my whole fuckin' life! Do you know what that’s like? To have your own people hate you?
Serling: So, the Dark Lord comes back, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna fight him with? Tanks? You gonna drone him? No! Magic is what stopped him before, and magic will stop him again!
(Alta Mira bangers approach, Ward levels his shotgun at them)
Ward: Motherfucker, what?
(Alta Mira banger attempts to shoot Ward through the side window)
Ward: Bulletproof, dickhead!
Poison: Officer Ward! Y’know, my homies wanna cut your fuckin’ head off! Fogteeth wanna cut your fuckin’ head off! Cops wanna cut your fuckin’ head off!
Ward: Yeah, I have that effect on people. Imagine how my old lady feels!
Ward: Ya know what? Fuck it! I wanna die! We gonna titty-bar-gunfight-die!
Jakoby: Uh...is that a bomb?
Ward: Yes, it is.
Jakoby: Okay...what do you want me to do with it?
Ward: Be very careful with it.
Ward: What the hell are you??!!
Leilah: I am a warrior, a priestess, a lover. I am whatever my lord needs me to be.
Leilah: If you touch my wand, it will splatter you all over this room!
Ward: Yeah, that’s kinda the plan.
