Quotes / Boob-Based Gag

"It'll knock both your eyes out!"

— Tagline for the 3-D Movie The French Line, starring the buxom Jane Russell

"The city shined in the moonlight like a bunch of metallic boobs. What? I'm not a poet. They looked like boobs."

— Jazz Bashara, Artemis

"Gah! You've turned my maguppies into bazongas!"

—Marge Simpson, The Simpsons, "Large Marge"

"My breasts challenge you to a duel!"

— Mai Valentine, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series

"Lara Croft's boobs are so big, right, that whenever she gives someone a titwank they have to be recovered with spelunking equipment."

— Yahtzee, Zero Punctuation

"Boobs do not work that way! They should not account for 60% of a woman's mass!"

— "The Spoony One" Noah Antweiler

"My breasts are not meat buns!"

—Litchi "Boobie Lady" Faye-Ling, BlazBlue

"Ah, it's the Boobie Lady!"

— Taokaka to Litchi, BlazBlue

"ALL HAIL OPPAI!"

— Charles zi Britannia, Code Geass, via a Gag Dub from his Japanese voice actor

"... But I asked twenty people the first word they thought of when they think of you, and all of them said 'boobs'. Even your mom, who added that the second word she thinks of is 'boobs'."

— Hazel on Jamie, Girls with Slingshots

"Don't like her!? What's wrong with her!? She's... beautiful! She's... rich! She's got huuuuge... *makes gestures on the chest area, stops a bit*... tracts of land!"

— The King of Swamp Castle, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"Oh, the wonder's of nature! A deep valley between two lofty peaks!"

— Issun on Rao, Ōkami

Daria: Um, Brittany? Would you mind pointing those things in another direction?
Brittany: Sorry!

— Daria

Yoshimo: Tell me, Edwina, would you like me to let out the seams on your robe? I'm quite handy with a needle. You do, after all, have more...bulk..in the upper chest area.
Edwin(a): Silence, You Fool! Chauvinist pig! (what am I saying?) I mean to say IDIOT!

— Baldur's Gate 2

Busty Woman on Elevator: Everybody's been real nice.
Fletcher: Well, that's because you've got big jugs. ... I mean, your boobs are huge! ... I mean, I wanna squeeze 'em! *Beat* Mamaaaa! *makes baby sucking noise*

— Liar Liar

Kreese: (describes on how dangerous Elise is as a succubus/vampire)
Howard: Awesome rack on her, though!
Kreese: Aww, true dat! (Continues explaining)
Howard: Awesome rack on her, though!
Kreese: True dat!

— MadWorld

Seolla: Don't you know how worried I was!?
Arado: ... As big as your breasts, maybe? *SLAP* Oww...!
Seolla: Jerk! Stupid! Idiot! You're the worst!!

— Super Robot Wars: Original Generation 2

Luke: What do you care about what a petty man like me say? You, with the sex appeal of Mieu.
Anise: The WHAT of Mieu!? When I grow up, I'll get as big as Tear!
Luke: Hah! Stuuupid. There's no way you could get those melons!
Tear: Me-me-melons, what do you mean melons!? Are you stupid!? Can't you be a little more quiet!?

— Tales of the Abyss

Judith: So, you're jealous?
Estelle: T-that's not what I mean at all!
Judith: If that's how it is, then just wear this outfit yourself.
Estelle: Like my boobs could fill out that top! *gasps, then runs off in embarrassment*
Judith: I never said anything about boobs...

— Tales of Vesperia

Rowen: Bazongas^note It's a slang for boobs are the burning fire at the heart of manhood!
(...)
Jude: I'm not even sure what we're even talking about
Rowen: Then you'll never know bazongas. You have to want it, Jude. You have to need it.
Jude: Then, teach me about bazongas.
Rowen: I can barely hear you. You have to mean it!
Jude: *deep breath* TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!!!
Leia: Whoa! Don't go shouting things like that!

— Tales of Xillia

*Cut to Sypha's boobs, bouncing*
Maria Renard: Uh huh, they're huge…
Sypha Belnades: Will you stop? These things only get in my way…
Maria Renard: H-how could you! Those are sacred gifts!

— Castlevania: Judgment

Death the Kid: On the other hand, when you're human, your hairstyles and heights are both different... *grabs the Thompson sisters' breasts* and the sizes of your breasts are different too, aren't they!? *THWACKED*
Liz Thompson: Well, excuse me for being smaller than my little sister!

— Soul Eater, in about "symmetrical breast".

Chacha: (grabbing Haruko's boobs from behind) "Takeru~~ If you're going to get milk,"

Haruko: (confused) "Chacha...?"

Chacha: "Then it'll be faster to get it (pulls Haruko's blouse open) from here ♥!"

(Takeru passes out with nosebleed, as Haruko runs off in embarrassment)

—Maken-ki!, chapter 26

"Wow. I must say — congratulations on the bosoms. Top notch. They are hilarious. (...) ahhahahaha! I'm so sorry, your breasts are just WONDERFUL. I can't keep a straight face!"

—Aurelia meeting Mad Moxxi, Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!

Ishigami: With Japanese archery... if you've got breasts, the bowstring rubs against them when you pull it back. But with Shinomiya-senpai's size, there's no need for that. (makes flat chest motion with hands) She's like this. Like this. Heh heh... ha ha ha ha ha...

Shirogane: (with Shinomiya appearing out of nowhere and not pleased) Ishigami! Behind! Behind you! Ishigami! Ishigami!!

Ishigami: I hear it's possible to bind your boobs with bandages up to D Cup. I'm sure Fujiwara-senpai is way bigger than that, so the day she tries Japanese archery, her chest would be knocked all over the place! (makes bouncing breasts motion with hands) Like this! Like this!

Shirogane: (with Fujiwara appearing out of nowhere and not pleased) HIT THE BRAKES, ISHIGAMI!!!

—Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

"i got this new anime plot. basically theres this high school girl except shes got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big old tonhongerekoogers"

"what happens next?!"

"transfer student shows up one day with even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. humungous hungolomghnonoloughongous"

—Tumblr

Amazing Chest Ahead

Note commonly left in front of Gwynevere's chamber, Dark Souls

"Oh these? My boobies? My massive fucking tiddies? My super stuffed up milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucki-"

—Unknown copypasta

"I can't believe your tits are one polygon!"

— Knuckles, Real-Time Fandub Games and the Limits of Man

"...Is this a friend of yours? She has been... making a fool of herself for a while now."

— Sichte Meister regarding Strudel having made herself comfortable in between her breasts, RosenkreuzStilette Freudenstachel

"You are so focused on your rear. Meanwhile, you got two watermelons for sale up front!"

—Sylvia Rosenberg-Fine to Freida Fine, The Nanny, "A Fine Family Feud"

Geiru Toneido: One, two... BLOOOON! (snaps suspenders; boobs jiggle)
Judge: Wh-What a way to capture your audience's attention! I dare say I can't take my eyes off those balloons!
Athena Cykes: Please tell me you're talking about the hat, Your Honor...

— Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice, Case 6-4: "Turnabout Storyteller"

---