Bloom Into You
Touko narrating: "Love" is a violent word. "I love that about you..." Doesn't that just mean "If that changed, I wouldn't love you anymore?" "Love" is a word that binds you.
Yuu: I don't understand. I've never met anyone who's felt "special" to me.
Touko narrating: "Love" wasn't in your vocabulary. That's why, to me, you seemed like the kindest person in the world. Yuu, you really are incredibly kind. You accept me no matter what. You always stay with me. Now that I've felt such comfort, I can never go back to being alone.
Touko: Yuu, I love you.
Touko narrating: These are words that bind.
Touko: Just stay the way you are, okay?
Touko narrating: Please, Yuu… Don't fall in love with me.
Yuu: I don't understand. I've never met anyone who's felt "special" to me.
Touko narrating: "Love" wasn't in your vocabulary. That's why, to me, you seemed like the kindest person in the world. Yuu, you really are incredibly kind. You accept me no matter what. You always stay with me. Now that I've felt such comfort, I can never go back to being alone.
Touko: Yuu, I love you.
Touko narrating: These are words that bind.
Touko: Just stay the way you are, okay?
Touko narrating: Please, Yuu… Don't fall in love with me.
— Chapter 10
Receiving all this affection without being expected to return it, being treated so gently, silky hair, long eyelashes, that smell, and that softness. Thinking this feels good, that I don't want to stop, that's normal. There's nothing special about it. I can hear a heartbeat. It must be Senpai's, not mine. My heart would never beat this fast.
— Yuu Koito, Chapter 16
Sayaka: What kind of person was she? Beat It's okay if you don't want to talk about it.
Touko: All I can talk about is the side of her I knew. I don't know if that's the real her.
Sayaka: There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure the side of her that you knew was a genuine part of who she was. I'd like to hear what kind of person she was to you.
Touko: All I can talk about is the side of her I knew. I don't know if that's the real her.
Sayaka: There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure the side of her that you knew was a genuine part of who she was. I'd like to hear what kind of person she was to you.
— A conversation about Touko's late sister, Chapter 23
Touko: Saying "I love you" makes me feel better.
Yuu Saying "I love you"? How so? Is it because the person you're saying it too will accept it? I guess I can understand.
Touko: I think maybe I like reminding myself I can fall in love at all. Maybe because I never saw my sister fall in love with anyone. It's possible she had someone she liked in that way, and I never knew about it. But even if the rest of me is fake, I know that the part of me that loves you is really me.
Yuu Saying "I love you"? How so? Is it because the person you're saying it too will accept it? I guess I can understand.
Touko: I think maybe I like reminding myself I can fall in love at all. Maybe because I never saw my sister fall in love with anyone. It's possible she had someone she liked in that way, and I never knew about it. But even if the rest of me is fake, I know that the part of me that loves you is really me.
— Chapter 24
Sayaka narrating: Koito-san knows what Touko wants, too, and yet... she still flung this script in her face. It's her wish for Touko, coming straight from the heart...
Yuu: (in a flashback) Then why did you support the new script?
Sayaka narrating: Because I have the same wish, of course. I want Touko to change, too. So why... why couldn't I make that wish reach her? I was so afraid that she would reject me. Even if I couldn't be special to her, I was happy being the closest of her many friends... just waiting for the day that she would change. I was afraid... but Koito-san made the leap.
Sayaka: (talking to herself) Even I'm not wretched enough to try to put a stop to that.
Yuu: (in a flashback) Then why did you support the new script?
Sayaka narrating: Because I have the same wish, of course. I want Touko to change, too. So why... why couldn't I make that wish reach her? I was so afraid that she would reject me. Even if I couldn't be special to her, I was happy being the closest of her many friends... just waiting for the day that she would change. I was afraid... but Koito-san made the leap.
Sayaka: (talking to herself) Even I'm not wretched enough to try to put a stop to that.
— Chapter 27
Yuu: Me, Saeki-senpai, all of your friends... we don't know anything about your sister. We only know you. The person we want to be friends with, want to help, want to rely on, or anything...! These feelings are for you— not your sister!
Touko: But the only reason they think that is because I've been copying my sister all this time...
Yuu: The person who works so hard to be more like your sister is you, Senpai! You've... been you all this time.
Touko: ...
Yuu: I'm not telling you to accept everyone's feelings about you. You don't have to try to live up to their expectations. But please realize that those feelings are directed toward you, and only you. Please don't throw away what you've been given.
Touko: But the only reason they think that is because I've been copying my sister all this time...
Yuu: The person who works so hard to be more like your sister is you, Senpai! You've... been you all this time.
Touko: ...
Yuu: I'm not telling you to accept everyone's feelings about you. You don't have to try to live up to their expectations. But please realize that those feelings are directed toward you, and only you. Please don't throw away what you've been given.
— Chapter 28
I thought the only way to fill my empty self was to turn into somebody else. But now I see that I was wrong. I still think I'm just an empty shell. Once this play is over...I don't know what will be left for me. But for now... I want to believe Yuu.
—Touko Nanami, Chapter 28
It's not as if I hadn't noticed that Sayaka seemed quite fond of me. It's just that she never tried to tell me her feelings, so I never had to think about it. But now... I should've known she'd take the next step eventually. I'm sure we'll all keep changing, too. Sayaka, and Yuu, and even me. So how... can you stay in love with someone, who keeps changing?
— Touko Nanami, Chapter 38
You know, love doesn't mean "I never want you to change." But I don't think it means "I don't care how you change," either. So I suppose it might mean "I believe you'll always be the person I adore." A declaration of faith, perhaps.
—Sayaka Saeki, Chapter 38
I don't think I'll ever experience love, and I'm perfectly all right with that. But when you see someone do something you can't, you can't help admiring them. Of course, it's not like things will go well for everyone, but I do prefer plays with a happy ending.
— Seiji Maki, Chapter 39
Maki-kun is right. I am running away. The truth is, it hurts. I'm sad. I'm lonely. If I didn't understand, I wouldn't have to feel this way. But the fact is... I do want love.
— Yuu Koito, Chapter 39
All this time, I've been making my choice over and over. The choice to be by your side. The choice to try to help you change. I was able to choose because you said you loved me so many times. So I've decided that I want you to be my special someone. Nanami-senpai, I love you.
— Yuu Koito, Chapter 40
I've had a lot of time to think, you know. But in the end... much to my annoyance, I'm going to sound awfully trite. Take good care of her for me, all right?
— Sayaka Saeki, Chapter 41
Regarding Sayaka Saeki
I was doing it all over, as though I had forgotten the scars and the pain. I just don’t learn my lesson, I thought, laughing at myself a little. Maybe I never will. This time, I broke into an even bigger smile. Eventually, she started calling me Sayaka, and I started calling her Touko. Once I met Nanami Touko, I accepted it. It wasn’t understanding, or resignation, just acceptance. Of myself, and of the fact that I could only love girls.
— Sayaka Saeki, narrating, Volume 1
You can’t be anyone but yourself, no matter how much you might change over the course of your life. And the only role we could perfectly perform was that of the person we were born to play. If you tried to replace someone, no matter how well you mimicked them, your imperfect performance would only lead to your own disappointment.
Touko would likely eternally be unsatisfied by her attempt to become her sister.
That was why…
Yes, that was why…
“………”
…If I had said that…
…If I had told Touko that, would things have been different?
Touko would likely eternally be unsatisfied by her attempt to become her sister.
That was why…
Yes, that was why…
“………”
…If I had said that…
…If I had told Touko that, would things have been different?
— Sayaka Saeki, narrating, Volume 2
As long as I was by her side like that, someday—someday—I would be able to do what I needed to when I felt Touko had changed.
I could only wait and trust that time, or someone, would bring that someday about. I would just keep waiting for my chance, coward that I was. That was what Touko wanted, or so I told myself.
And so I said nothing.
I swallowed what I thought was right and chose to be wrong.
That was the decision I made, that I thought would allow me to stay by Touko’s side and someday connect with her.
I will never forget that choice.
I must never forget.
I could only wait and trust that time, or someone, would bring that someday about. I would just keep waiting for my chance, coward that I was. That was what Touko wanted, or so I told myself.
And so I said nothing.
I swallowed what I thought was right and chose to be wrong.
That was the decision I made, that I thought would allow me to stay by Touko’s side and someday connect with her.
I will never forget that choice.
I must never forget.
— Sayaka Saeki, narrating, Volume 2
Once a relationship transformed, going back to the way it used to be was incredibly difficult. My decision not to forgive Senpai was one example. Relationships were like piling up rocks, one after another. There was an element of chance…something that made each one unique. If the stack crumbled, then purposefully piling it back up by hand in the exact same way was close to impossible.
People can’t just start something over.
That was why my best friend had been just that from the time I met her, and was still my friend even now.
Nothing wavered in that relationship.
Nothing changed, no matter how much I wished it would.
People can’t just start something over.
That was why my best friend had been just that from the time I met her, and was still my friend even now.
Nothing wavered in that relationship.
Nothing changed, no matter how much I wished it would.
— Sayaka Saeki, narrating, Volume 3
Anthology Chapters
Since we both work, life can be sort of tedious. Our days often feel more or less the same. But doesn't that just mean Riko and I are a good match for each other in the long run? When I look at it that way, it's actually sort of nice. It may look like our lives lack excitement, but having something that never changes is fun in its own way, too.
— Miyako Kodama, on her relationship with Riko Hakozaki, "Six Years Later, Still By Your Side."
Sayaka narrating: I know plenty of sides of Touko that Koito-san hasn't seen, too. That much is certain. But... I've never seen the side she shows her love. I can never know that side of her. I never had a chance... and I never will. (to Yuu) Honestly, there are times when I'd like to raise my voice.
Yuu: Oh, r-really?
Sayaka: Right now, for instance. (Beat) Not really.
Yuu: C-Come on, don't scare me like that, please!
Touko: Sayaka! Yuu!
Sayaka narrating: I wasn't joking, but I wasn't serious, either. I swallow it all down, along with my voice. Because I still want to be able to smile when you look at me. So please give me a little more time. Until I can really smile from the bottom of my heart.
Yuu: Oh, r-really?
Sayaka: Right now, for instance. (Beat) Not really.
Yuu: C-Come on, don't scare me like that, please!
Touko: Sayaka! Yuu!
Sayaka narrating: I wasn't joking, but I wasn't serious, either. I swallow it all down, along with my voice. Because I still want to be able to smile when you look at me. So please give me a little more time. Until I can really smile from the bottom of my heart.
— "Lies and True"
