Ladies and gentlemen and friends of my daughter. There comes a time in every wedding reception when the man who paid for the damn thing is allowed to speak a word or two of his own. And I should like to take this opportunity, sloshed as I may be, to say a word or two about Martin. As far as I'm concerned, my daughter could not have chosen a more delightful, charming, witty, responsible, wealthy (let's not deny it), well-placed, good-looking, and fertile young man than Martin as her husband. And I therefore ask the question: why the hell did she marry Gerald instead? [...]
Because Gerald is the sort of man we used to describe at school as a complete prick. If I may use a gardening simile here, if his entire family may be likened to a compost heap, and I think they can, then Gerald is the biggest weed growing out of it. I think he's the kind of man people emigrate to avoid. I remember the first time I met Gerald, I said to my wife, she's the lovely woman propping up that horrendous old lush of a mother of his, "either this man is suffering from serious brain damage, or the new vacuum cleaner's arrived". As for his family, they are quite simply the most intolerable herd of steaming social animals I've ever had the misfortune of turning my nose up to. I spurn you as I would spurn a rabid dog. [...]
I would like to propose a toast, to the caterers, and the pigeon who crapped on the groom's family's limousine at the church.
Because Gerald is the sort of man we used to describe at school as a complete prick. If I may use a gardening simile here, if his entire family may be likened to a compost heap, and I think they can, then Gerald is the biggest weed growing out of it. I think he's the kind of man people emigrate to avoid. I remember the first time I met Gerald, I said to my wife, she's the lovely woman propping up that horrendous old lush of a mother of his, "either this man is suffering from serious brain damage, or the new vacuum cleaner's arrived". As for his family, they are quite simply the most intolerable herd of steaming social animals I've ever had the misfortune of turning my nose up to. I spurn you as I would spurn a rabid dog. [...]
I would like to propose a toast, to the caterers, and the pigeon who crapped on the groom's family's limousine at the church.
— Rowan Atkinson, ''Wedding from Hell
" sketch.
" sketch."We've been through so many things… For example, you used my $30,000 savings without telling me and used it to abort three babies, including one you had when you cheated with my boyfriend. You also sold all my clothes, bags, and accesories without telling me… […] And so I am delighted from the bottom of my heart that a girl like you is still able to get married… With that, I'm going to leave the house. I can finally say good-bye to the parents who continued to support your selfishness and made me take on all of your responsibilities. Mami, you were loved no matter what since we were kids. I, who was always ignored in every circumstance, was jealous of you. But at the same time, I'm relieved that I didn't turn out to be like you. Still, I couldn't stop myself from saying this in front of everybody. I guess I am your older sister after all. Congratulations. Good-bye."
—Yuriko, exposing her younger sister Mami's true self at her wedding, Sekai no Fushigi episode My brother's wedding turned into a disaster...
