Quotes / Better than Sex

"Sometimes when I'm eating a blueberry muffin, it's so tasty and delightful, that I think, 'Wow, this is better than sex!' And sometimes when I'm having sex I think, 'Wow, this is very expensive. I should have just gotten a muffin.'"

— Mitch Fatel

"Few people in the world get to hit their bosses but those who do will tell you it is better than sex."

—Chetan Bhagat

"It beats any meat injection. That beats any fucking cock in the world!"

— Allison (on shooting heroin), Trainspotting

"There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex."

— Billy Joel

"Nothing is better than sex, and anyone who says no has never had a good woman."

— Roger Daltry

"Have you ever flown a flying saucer? Afterwards, sex seems trite."

— Lt. Jack Schaefer, The X-Files

Candidate: For me, making money is better than sex.

Harry Hill: You're not doing it right.

— Harry Hill's TV Burp, reviewing series 5 of The Apprentice (UK).

"Glorious! A rush, an incredible rush. A heroin addict's rush of drugs into his blood, a drunk's first drink burning down a raw, ready throat. Oh, oh, I wanted to, to scream, to flail out of control. It was mind, it was body, it was sex and money and power and revenge and triumph all rolled into one."

—Senna Wales, opening the gateway between universes.

"Magic! So this was what it felt like! No wonder wizards didn't have much truck with sex!"

— The Light Fantastic

"Nothing, nothing, nothing is better than sex; it is what God created us to do."

— Novak Djokovic, professional Tennis player.

There are cakes out there that claim to be better than sex, and we feel a great surge of pity for the makers of said cakes. This cake has infinitely more realistic goals, and therefore accomplishes them. It's a good way to tell your sweetheart that you're not fit to touch the hem of his or her garment.

— Kingdom of Loathing

Potere e meglio di fottere ("Power is better than sex")

— Old Sicilian proverb

I had my first pizza at Durham. I had other firsts too, but it's the pizza that stands out.

— Mrs Lintott, The History Boys

"Oh Universe! This is more fun than the sex competitions!"

— Lenart, Earthsearch, "New Blood"

"I wouldn't compare it to sex, but it lasts longer."

— Stephen Hawking, regarding scientific discovery.

[After Joe has had an extremely unsatisfying tryst with Peach's friend Beck.]
Joe: Did Beck tell you I've taken up jogging?
Peach: Fun! Runner's high is better than sex. And for some, may last longer.
Joe, thinking: Touché, bitch.

— You (2018)

Trevor: (chugs beer) Oh my God...that is better than sex.
Sypha: (freezes Trevor's beer in protest) "Better than sex"?
Trevor: ...w-well,...n-no! Not...just...different! Differently good!
Sypha: Really?
Trevor: But I-I-I...I didn't mean...
Sypha: I do hope you sleep well tonight...with my tiny, icy foot shoved ALL THE WAY UP YOUR-(cut to ice in a barrel being broken)

— Castlevania (2017)

To kill something is the most thrilling experience. It is even better than getting your rocks off with a girl.

— The Zodiac killer, describing how much fun it is to kill people in one of his coded letters

Mac: Hey, I'm Mac. Welcome to Paddy's Pub. I like to recommend to our first-timers our signature cocktail, the Caribbean Paradise. Some say it's better than busting a nut!
Woman: Excuse me?
Mac: Busting a nut. It's like, uh, blowing your load. It's light, it's playful.
Dennis: ...I think what my friend is trying to refer to is an orgasm, which is light and playful, but he overstepped himself and got a little bit too specific.

— It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

My sexploits were legend
I could have gone into porn
But I like killing more than sex
I always was a battle-born!

— GWAR, Lust in Space

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