"The following story is a big fat lie. No names have been changed to protect anybody!"
— The intro of the Woody Woodpecker cartoon "Under The Counter-Spy"
"[P]lease ignore any tiresome scolds who complain that the movie is not really based on fact. Duh."
— Roger Ebert, from a review of Hidalgo
"Hey there, boys and girls! This here's a true story we just made up."
— Stinky Wizzleteats, The Ren & Stimpy Show, "Son of Stimpy"
"Tentatively titled The Conjuring, it's the 'true' story of a haunting at a New England farmhouse — though presumably it's 'true' in the contemporary sense of the word, meaning that it didn't happen but it says it did on the poster."
— The A.V. Club on
The Conjuring
The Conjuring"The Amityville Horror is [based on a true story]... (chuckle) yeah, more like based on a true hoax!"
— Phelous in his The Amityville Horror (2005) review.
Journalist Scott Templeton: It's in my notes, Gus. Everything that happened, everything that guy said when I got to him. Every last word is in my notes. [flings down notepad]
[later...]
Alma Gutierrez: It's empty.
Gus Haynes: What's empty?
Alma: The pad he waved at you, saying it was all filled with notes. It's empty. Every page.
[later...]
Alma Gutierrez: It's empty.
Gus Haynes: What's empty?
Alma: The pad he waved at you, saying it was all filled with notes. It's empty. Every page.
— The Wire, "-30-"
Eventually they discovered that "Misha Defonseca" is actually Monique De Wael and, though her parents were tragically taken by the Nazis, she never wandered across Europe and, in fact, was not Jewish. Monique's defense of this deception was, sadly, somewhat typical: It may not have been the truth, but it was her truth. In the dictionary this is known as a "lie."
"Oh God, I hate these. Yeah, I guess it really happened, wow. Funny, I thought I saw one of the original actors on The Late Late Show the other night, but maybe it was her ghost."
— The Nostalgia Critic, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
Buttercup: (Angrily) WAIT A MINUTE! YOU TOLD ME YOU FOUND THOSE GOLF CLUBS! Which is it? Did he find the golf club or did he sell it to you! TELL THE TRUTH, BLOSSOM!
Bubbles: YEAH, YOU BIG FAT LIAR!
— The Powerpuff Girls (1998), A Very Special Blossom
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies."
