Quotes / Auto Erotica

"Oh, teenagers. Even on a gigantic luxury cruiser, they'll still find the back seat of a car when it's time for sex."

— Bill Corbett, Rifftrax commentary on Titanic (1997)

Abby: My first time was in a cab.

Ziva: First time for what?

McGee: Front seat or back?

Abby: Back. Well, both, kinda.

Ziva: Oh! My first time was in a weapons carrier.

Abby and McGee: Of course it was.

—NCIS, "Trojan Horse"

You have been selected for our cross-breeding program. To put you at ease, we have recreated the most common spawning locations for your species. You may choose either: the back seat of a Camero, an airplane bathroom, a friend's wedding, or the alley behind a porno theater.

—Kang & Kodos, The Simpsons

Who'd ever thought you'd be better
At turning a screw than me?
I do it for my life
You make my driveshaft crank
You make my pistons bulge
You make my ball bearings melt from the heat

—Megadeth, "The Mechanix"

Driver roll up the partition please
I don't need you seein' Yonce on her knees
It took 45 minutes to get all dressed up
And we ain't even gonna make it to this club

—Beyoncé, "Partition"

(561): I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.

—Texts From Last Night

If the van's a rockin', don't come a-nockin

— Bumper Sticker

I climbed out of the car, its windows fogged, and everyone in the street noticed that my hair was mussed and I was upset, leaving a driver who had salt-and-pepper hair and a crooked tie.

— Melissa P., One Hundred Strokes of the Brush Before Bed

Disco Boy: You wanna meet me someplace?
Disco Girl: Where?
Boy: The back seat.

—Maniac! (1980)

He eat it in the car, that's meals on wheels!

—Cardi B, "Money"

We hold each other closer, as we shift to overdrive

And everything goes rushing by, with every nerve alive

We move so fast it seems as though we've taken to the sky

Love machines in harmony, we hear the engines cry.

I'm your turbo lover

Tell me there's no other

I'm your turbo lover

Better run for cover

— Judas Priest, "Turbo Lover"

Gene: Girls don't put out in Studebakers.
Jonathan: They don't?
Gene: No, Chevys, Mercs, and Fords are the best. But a Studebaker? That's worse than a DeSoto.

—Mischief

Her hand was in his lap, kneading his erection. Shit, at that moment he'd have swopped the flashy red coupe for any clunker that had a bench front seat. The way they clambered into the back, the clumsy tangling of arms and legs, were all a merciful blur.

— The Zone #2: Blind Fire by James Rouch

Dirty Bubble: Oh! Shine the flashlight in that car, Man Ray!
Man Ray: Heh ha ha! With pleasure!
Sandals: (is shown kissing a body pillow) Hey, man, that's not cool.

— SpongeBob SquarePants, "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V"

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