Quotes / Anti-Christmas Song

"I say, if a novelty Christmas song is funny the first time, it's funny every time."

— Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes

"If every day were Christmas Day, by some fantastic trick...
If every day were Christmas Day, we'd all be bloomin' sick.
If every day were Christmas Day, we'd never get our uncle Harold to leave..."

— Eric Idle, Do Not Adjust Your Set

"Here comes Santa, girls and boys
So who needs that big red noise?
I'll tell him where to leave his toys!
I hate Christmas!"

— Oscar the Grouch, Christmas Eve On Sesame Street

"Santa's comin' and he's gonna kick your ass
He's gonna kick your ass
He's gonna kick your ass
Santa's comin' and he's gonna kick your ass
'Cause you've always been a rotten little brat!"

— The Arrogant Worms, "Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass"

"They tried to decorate and make it look more Christmassy
But what they did was more like Christmas in hell
They nailed a Santa to a cross in front of everyone
It wasn't pleasant, but I'm sure they meant well."

— Jonathan Coulton, in a deleted verse from "Chiron Beta Prime"

"In department stores, do it just because
Pull the whiskers off of the Santy Claus
Bite his leg and I run away
I'm the angel in the Christmas play!"

— Spike Jones, "The Angel in the Christmas Play"

"One flimsy little Christmas card,
Surely, that can't be too hard!
But multiply it a billionfold,
And see why Christmas leaves me cold.
Christmas... bah, bug and hum!"

— The Postman, "Bah, Bug and Hum!"

"Believing in Santa's all wrong.
And Hanukah’s eight nights too long.
I hate love. I hate you. I hate me."

— Davey Stone, Davey's Song, Eight Crazy Nights

Got your cookies, got your milk
Got my shotgun trained on the chimney
Stole my woman and all I want for Christmas is to kick your ass!
All I want for Christmas is to kick your ass!

— Midnite Riders, "All I want for Christmas (Is to Kick your Ass)", Left 4 Dead 2

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