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Police Officer: License and registration please. Who do you think you are, Mario Andretti?
Passenger: I'm Mario Andretti, officer.
[The officer looks in the car to see Mario Andretti and his grandson Marco in the car.]
Mario: We weren't speeding.
Passenger: I'm Mario Andretti, officer.
[The officer looks in the car to see Mario Andretti and his grandson Marco in the car.]
Mario: We weren't speeding.
Anime and Manga
Itsuki: What exactly are you trying to do? I have a tutor coming soon—
Fuutarou: That's me.
Itsuki: ...What?
Fuutarou: ...I'm the tutor.
Itsuki: Ack!
Fuutarou: That's me.
Itsuki: ...What?
Fuutarou: ...I'm the tutor.
Itsuki: Ack!
— The Quintessential Quintuplets, Episode 1
Film - Animated
Phil: What's a matter? Never seen a satyr before?
Hercules: Uh...no. Could you help us? We're looking for someone named, [Phil grabs a nearby ceramic bowl containing some grapes, tosses the grapes aside, and eats the bowl] umm...Philoctetes?
Phil: Call me Phil.
Hercules: PHIL! (squeezes his hand VERY tightly as he shakes it)
Phil: OW! OW! OW!
Hercules: Boy, am I glad to meet you! I'm Hercules. And this is Pegasus.
(Pegasus licks Phil's face)
Phil: Animals! Disgusting!
Hercules: Uh...no. Could you help us? We're looking for someone named, [Phil grabs a nearby ceramic bowl containing some grapes, tosses the grapes aside, and eats the bowl] umm...Philoctetes?
Phil: Call me Phil.
Hercules: PHIL! (squeezes his hand VERY tightly as he shakes it)
Phil: OW! OW! OW!
Hercules: Boy, am I glad to meet you! I'm Hercules. And this is Pegasus.
(Pegasus licks Phil's face)
Phil: Animals! Disgusting!
Fan Works
Tom buries a hand in the fur at the back of Jake's neck, bracing himself there for a moment. "Yeah, yeah, running for our lives, time for questions later, got it. Speaking of which..." He glances over at where their parents are watching the whole scene in openmouthed confusion. "Take us to your leader, yeah?"
"Um." Marco clears his throat. "About that."
Tom looks slowly from where Jake has developed a nervous fascination in batting around a dandelion on the ground, to where Marco is doing his best Vanna White impression in Jake's general direction. "Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me," he says slowly.
"Um." Marco clears his throat. "About that."
Tom looks slowly from where Jake has developed a nervous fascination in batting around a dandelion on the ground, to where Marco is doing his best Vanna White impression in Jake's general direction. "Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me," he says slowly.
— "What if they saved Jake's family?", All Assorted Animorphs AUs
Literature
"At this, I answered: 'Ancient spirit, you
perhaps are wondering at the smile I smiled:
but I would have you feel still more surprise.
He who is guide, who leads my eyes on high,
is that same Virgil from whom you derived
the power to sing of men and of the gods.'"
perhaps are wondering at the smile I smiled:
but I would have you feel still more surprise.
He who is guide, who leads my eyes on high,
is that same Virgil from whom you derived
the power to sing of men and of the gods.'"
— Purgatorio XXII:121-126
Live-Action TV
Henry: You lied to me. You are a Lost Boy. You work for Pan.
Lost Boy: Not exactly. I am Peter Pan.
Lost Boy: Not exactly. I am Peter Pan.
— Once Upon a Time, "The Heart of the Truest Believer"
Video Games
Darkseid: Together we could crush Superman.
Bizarro: Me AM real Superman!
Bizarro: Me AM real Superman!
"Did I mention this place also has a world class Skystones player? Me!"
— Smoltergiest, Skylanders: Giants
Catherine Ricci: Robert, what was in that case?
Robert Baxter: Three months ago, a VSSE agent was murdered. Her briefcase was never found. That agent was an internal auditor. Her case was full of classified intel.
Cathy: I don't believe it...
(later...)
Cathy: Robert... You're not telling me that case contains...?
Robert: Data proving there's a traitor within VSSE.
Cathy: But why would Wild Dog...?
Robert: Information from VSSE is worth serious coin. Or maybe even Wild Dog doesn't know who the traitor is.
(later...)
Robert: That internal auditor was watching Keith. You probably already know this, but Keith used to be my partner. I've heard rumors that he sells intel, I don't want to believe them, but...
Cathy: Surely not...
Robert: Once we get that case back, we'll know for sure.
(later...)
Robert: Why did you betray us?
Keith Martin: It wasn't me!
Robert: Who else is there?
Keith: I took this case to find out.
(later...)
Robert: You'd think we'd believe anyone allied with Wild Dog?
Keith: I didn't team up with him!
Robert: This whole factory is his!
Keith: I needed to investigate the traitor's intentions. The Dog's drudges bought me time.
Robert: You think we'll buy that?
(eventually...)
Keith: Take a look at this. This is the data Christie left behind in the case about the traitor.
(Luke O'Neil and Marc Godart learn that Robert is VSSE's traitor)
Luke: What? No way!
(Keith shoots at Robert's incoming knifes, deflecting them)
Keith: Robert!
Robert: If you had just died, this would have all gone according to plan
Keith: Robert, you're the traitor! What? Were you planning to kill us all?
Robert: I'd love to, but I'm in a bit of a hurry!
Robert Baxter: Three months ago, a VSSE agent was murdered. Her briefcase was never found. That agent was an internal auditor. Her case was full of classified intel.
Cathy: I don't believe it...
(later...)
Cathy: Robert... You're not telling me that case contains...?
Robert: Data proving there's a traitor within VSSE.
Cathy: But why would Wild Dog...?
Robert: Information from VSSE is worth serious coin. Or maybe even Wild Dog doesn't know who the traitor is.
(later...)
Robert: That internal auditor was watching Keith. You probably already know this, but Keith used to be my partner. I've heard rumors that he sells intel, I don't want to believe them, but...
Cathy: Surely not...
Robert: Once we get that case back, we'll know for sure.
(later...)
Robert: Why did you betray us?
Keith Martin: It wasn't me!
Robert: Who else is there?
Keith: I took this case to find out.
(later...)
Robert: You'd think we'd believe anyone allied with Wild Dog?
Keith: I didn't team up with him!
Robert: This whole factory is his!
Keith: I needed to investigate the traitor's intentions. The Dog's drudges bought me time.
Robert: You think we'll buy that?
(eventually...)
Keith: Take a look at this. This is the data Christie left behind in the case about the traitor.
(Luke O'Neil and Marc Godart learn that Robert is VSSE's traitor)
Luke: What? No way!
(Keith shoots at Robert's incoming knifes, deflecting them)
Keith: Robert!
Robert: If you had just died, this would have all gone according to plan
Keith: Robert, you're the traitor! What? Were you planning to kill us all?
Robert: I'd love to, but I'm in a bit of a hurry!
— The buildup to Robert Baxter being VSSE's traitor all along, Time Crisis 5
Webcomics
Jesus (in disguise): Hello, my fellow totally-normal-travelers. If I may ask, who was executed?
Disciple 1: Why, Jesus of Nazareth, of course! You must be the only visitor to Jerusalem who doesn't know about it.
Disciple 2: The news is everywhere. Where have you been? Under a rock?
Jesus: ... so what if I was?
Disciple 1: Why, Jesus of Nazareth, of course! You must be the only visitor to Jerusalem who doesn't know about it.
Disciple 2: The news is everywhere. Where have you been? Under a rock?
Jesus: ... so what if I was?
Web Original
Patient: Doctor, I feel miserable, just worthless! I'm so depressed!
Doctor: You just need perspective! You know that billionaire, Elon Musk? You're not gonna believe this, he spent 44 billion dollars buying Twitter, and now he just gets yelled at all day on it! He got booed off the stage
at a Chapelle [sic] show! Yeah, by transphobes! THEY don't like him! His kids don't talk to him, Tesla stock is plummeting... tell you what, why don't you bully ol' Elon Musk online? That'll make you feel better.
Patient: But doctor, I AM Elon Musk!
Doctor: You just need perspective! You know that billionaire, Elon Musk? You're not gonna believe this, he spent 44 billion dollars buying Twitter, and now he just gets yelled at all day on it! He got booed off the stage
at a Chapelle [sic] show! Yeah, by transphobes! THEY don't like him! His kids don't talk to him, Tesla stock is plummeting... tell you what, why don't you bully ol' Elon Musk online? That'll make you feel better.Patient: But doctor, I AM Elon Musk!
"Hey, anybody ever tell you you look like Beyoncé?"
"Nah, they usually tell me I look like Shalissa."
"Who the fuck is that?"
"Me, nigga."''
"Nah, they usually tell me I look like Shalissa."
"Who the fuck is that?"
"Me, nigga."''
Western Animation
"Tell me, so this "man", he had a face with a symbol on it, and, let me guess... (uses her synthesizer) a voice like this? (normal voice) If anybody was a "False" Conductor, it was yours truly."
— Amelia Hughes, Infinity Train ("The Hey Ho Whoa Car")
Megan: Excuse me, whoever you are, do you know where we can find His Elevated Eminence?
HEE: You're standing on him!
HEE: You're standing on him!
K.O. This helmet belonged to my daddy, the great hero Laserblast! I take it you've heard of him?
Venomous: Heard of him? (Evil Laugh) Take a good look, boy: I am him.
Venomous: Heard of him? (Evil Laugh) Take a good look, boy: I am him.
— OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes, "Big Reveal"
Huntara: Wait! You know about She-Ra?
Adora: Know about She-Ra? I am She-Ra.
Adora: Know about She-Ra? I am She-Ra.
Homer: I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware of what you're doing in his restaurant!
Sideshow Bob: I'm Wes Doobner!
Homer: Mr. Doobner, I have a complaint. I work hard, and when I go out with my family, I expect a certain level of basic—
Sideshow Bob: Shut up!
Sideshow Bob: I'm Wes Doobner!
Homer: Mr. Doobner, I have a complaint. I work hard, and when I go out with my family, I expect a certain level of basic—
Sideshow Bob: Shut up!
— The Simpsons, "Funeral For A Fiend"
