Quotes / Absurd Phobia

Man: Doctor, I'm afraid of backstories!
Doctor: When did this all start?
Man: Well... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

—asdfmovie8

“I’m frightened of eggs. Worse than frightened, they revolt me. That white round thing without any holes… Have you ever seen anything more revolting than an egg yolk breaking and spilling its yellow liquid? Blood is jolly, red. But egg yolk is yellow, revolting. I’ve never tasted it.”

—Alfred Hitchcock

I'm afraid of a duck (They would kill you for your bread)
I'm afraid of a duck (Then eat your liver instead)
I'm afraid of a duck (I'm not over-reacting)
I'm afraid of a duck (Stop laughing at me!)
You think that it's funny?
Just wait until they're coming!
Don't you know birds of a feather murder together?

—Psychostick, "Quack Kills"

"You ask me to explain why I am afraid of a draught of cool air; why I shiver more than others upon entering a cold room, and seem nauseated and repelled when the chill of evening creeps through the heat of a mild autumn day. There are those who say I respond to cold as others do to a bad odour, and I am the last to deny the impression. What I will do is to relate the most horrible circumstance I ever encountered, and leave it to you to judge whether or not this forms a suitable explanation of my peculiarity."

—The opening lines of Cool Air

Mera: You wanna know what I'm most afraid of? I'm afraid of this. I'm afraid of a world where I spend the rest of my life like this. Brittle, and creaking, and constantly at the verge of breaking! I'm afraid of a life where someone bumping up against me on the street means a trip to the hospital! I'm afraid that this is all there is! But now... I FINALLY have an exit. I finally have a way to leave! And if YOU think you can keep me here, then you'd better be ready to die trying...
*Quack!*
(camera pulls back to reveal a duck has suddenly appeared behind her)
Sylvie: ...also ducks, apparently.
Mera: (flustered) THEY'RE SMALL AND FAST AND THEY BITE, OKAY!?

—Epithet Erased, Episode 4

"Anatidaeophobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you."

—This The Far Side strip ^note  Look closely at the background

Mandy: Billy, you've GOT to get over this ridiculous fear of clowns.
Billy: WHO ARE YOU CALLING RIDICULOUS? *a tangelo falls out of his nose* Well... what about YOUR fear of professional figure skaters?
Mandy: (defensively) That's not a fear! I just don't trust the way they spin is all.

—The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Attack of the Clowns

Batman: (scared) No! Stay away! Christopher McDonald!
Christopher McDonald: Hey, Batman, how you doing?
Scarecrow: (frustrated) Oh my God. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Batman: Goose McKenzie! You keep your distance!
Christopher McDonald: Goose McKenzie. That's going waaaay back. Y'know, most people know me as Shooter McGavin. But, uh... thanks for knowing my work.
Batman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

—Badman, Batman vs. The Scarecrow

Chase Mccain: It's a good thing I don't have vertigo or some other ridiculous fear.
Parrot: *Lands on ledge* Bonjour.
Chase: AAAAAHHHH! FRENCH PARROT! *nearly falls off building*

— LEGO City Undercover

Bart Simpson: So much for the days when I could say "at least my mother's normal".
Marge Simpson: Everybody's afraid of something, Bart.
Homer Simpson: (smugly) Not everybody.
Marge: SOCK PUPPETS!
Homer: Where?! Where?!! (runs away screaming)

— The Simpsons, Fear of Flying

Ruff:: Wait a minute, is this ballet music?! AAAAAAHH!!! TURN IT OOOOFFFFFFFFFFF!!!! [Chet does so] Yes, it's true... I have a terrible fear of ballet...

—FETCH! with Ruff Ruffman, Finding Eight-Legged Tights Isn't Easy

Bill Cipher: ONE NIGHTMARE, COMING UP!
Soos: Nightmare? Hope he doesn't mean that British dog man I'm always dreaming about...
(said British dog man appears in front of him)
British dog man: 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! Who's crike for a stick in the pudding?
Soos: AAAAAH! It's everything I ever feared!

—Gravity Falls, Dreamscaperers

Malt: It was a super, horrible dream... Even though I'm the oldest, I dreamed that I was the youngest... It was terrible...
Boron: Oh, my... You call that a scary dream?

— Fuga: Comedies of Steel, "Nightmare"

Fluttershy: (reading Pinkie Pie's party files) Twilight Sparkle likes vanilla ice cream, red balloons, dancing...
Twilight Sparkle: That's right!
Fluttershy: ...but she's afraid of quesadillas.
Twilight: (nervously) No, I'm not! They're just so... (shudders) cheesy!

— My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "Party Pooped"

Jazz: Contamination located.
Sari: Who are you calling a contamination?
Jazz: Stay cool and roll back off the ship nice and easy-like. And don't even think of spewing any of your slime at me.
Sari: "Slime"? What are y— oh. You're afraid of me, aren't you? Booga-booga-booga!
Jazz: (jumps back) Ahh!!

— Transformers: Animated, "The Elite Guard"

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