Quotes / A Fool and His New Money Are Soon Parted

Being a successful gold digger is so much more than just stealing a mountain of cash from a sugar daddy and spending it on platinum dildos and diamond clitty rings.

—Michael K., "Heather Mills is a Dumb Gold Digger"

A fool and his money are soon parted. Drink and women led Francis a merry chase, and soon his magnificient treasure was in the pockets of courtesans and publicans...

— Pirates: Legend of the Black Buccaneer, in the Bad Ending

I remember once when he got sick, the only time as a performer when I knew he got sick. Altovise [his wife] called me on the second day and said, 'What are we going to do for money?' And that's when I looked at the five hundred gold watches. He had no financial stability whatsoever.

—Leslie Bricusse on Sammy Davis Jr.

If they earned £10 million, they'd blow it all by buying Jura or a fleet of K Foundation airships or a Van Gogh to be ceremonially burned.

—Sarah Champion on The KLF

See, this is why you never see a poor person with millions of dollars.

—Amy, Futurama, "Viva Mars Vegas"

A foole and his monie be soone at debate,

which after with sorrow repents him too late.

—Thomas Tusser

Rusty: Stan, you inherited $20,000. What did you do with it?
Stan: I lost it. Not in stocks or bonds, but in the old fashion way. I left it on the bus.

—American Dad!, "There Will Be Bad Blood"

Woody Boyd: Can you believe it? Mr. Clavin's going into Final Jeopardy with $22,000.

Norm Peterson: Yeah, and I'm really depressed, too.

Woody: Why?

Norm: I know he's gonna blow it before I have the chance to hit him up for a loan.

Woody: Come on, he's way ahead. There's no way he can lose.

Norm: Well, you gotta have faith, Woody.

— Cheers, "What is... Cliff Clavin?"

Now I've swung back down again, it's worse than it was before,

If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor.

—James, "Sit Down"

This is not a joke! I need someone from apple to help me with this scam. I saw this app with a few friends and we jokingly clicked ‘buy’ thinking it was a JOKE, to see what would happen….I called my visa card and they verified I was charged $999.99. THIS IS NO JOKE. DO NOT BUY THIS APP. BEWARE...

—Customer review for $999.99 iPhone app "I Am Rich"

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