Podcast / Qwerpline

They don't tell you the news so much as they live it.

Good morning, Nsberg!

Qwerpline is a show from LoadingReadyRun: A (fictional) community radio broadcast for the citizens of scenic Nsburg, in Therpston county, airing on QWRP FM. Hosted by Graham (G-Money) and Alex (A-Train), the show features all you'd expect from a small town community radio — tales of public interest, calls from concerned citizens (despite the staff's determined efforts to disconnect the station's phone line), and hard-hitting on-site reports delivered by QWRP's summer intern Derek (including, on one memorable occasion, an interview with QWRP's summer intern, Derek). Of course, it probably doesn't help that everyone in Nsburg seems to be insane, with the two radio hosts being the Only Sane Men in town.

Qwerpline is a creation of the crew at LoadingReadyRun, featuring Graham, Alex, Beej, Kathleen and Ian voicing the various characters. It is released periodically on their channel on YouTube, their own Website and iTunes. The show is (mostly) unscripted and improvised (or, as they call it, "scriptorvised"), with occasional lines re-recorded to be cleaned up. Season 2 began airing July 2022. The series is available both as Podcast format and as a new addition, in animated form (for some episodes), on YouTube starting August 2019. Season 3 started January 29th 2024.

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Qwerpline provides examples of:

• Action Pet: The Tugger Nutts children books series, which seem to be around a goat's adventures. With some Double Entendre titles such as Tugger Nutts Goes Down Under and Tugger Nutts Blows It.
• A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Glenda Drapp built a computer-controlled loom to make tapestries. It's begun making new patterns on its own. It's third creation spells out "Kill All Humans" on it. DARPA is coming to Nsburg to look at it.
• Alien Sky: One of Nsburg's motto is "Weird Sky Country". Judging by Graham and Alex' reaction, it's the case, but we never get details.
  Alex: You are not wrong.
  Graham: Yeah look at that
  Alex: Oof.
• Ancient Conspiracy: The Secret Pipesmen are an obvious reference to the Illuminati, Free Masons and Stonecutters. They secretly control much of Nsburg (or at least its public works projects), though unlike their inspirations are a poorly guarded secret in no small part thanks to their habit to post recruitment posters all over town and having "Open Doors" days with open bar.
• Angrish: In episode 15, Nsburg Recycling director Kendra Tiltington is left in incoherent rage when she's informed that Nsburg has a municipal dump... That people have been driving past to leave trash (and live raccoons) at the recycling center.
• Animal Athlete Loophole: Played with — Sideball rules allow for up to 6 "nonhuman" players although raccoons are explicitly barred. Nsburg's team uses a decoy of their best player (sometimes called a golem) in the hopes of confusing the other team.
• Artifact Title:
  • One of Nsburg tourism board's motto: "Nsburg: Home of the Tigers" refers to live tigers the Nsburg zoo had... back in the '60s.
  • Derek is always called "Summer Intern", no matter the season (or year).
  • The show's title itself is also an artifact. It comes from two segments LoadingReadyRun used to do during Desert Bus for Hope: Derpline (with Alex as Dr. Derp) and Qwopline (with Graham as Dr. Qwop). When the two decided to combine their segments into one, Qwerpline was the obvious choice for a name. However, G-Money and A-Train haven't referred to each other as Dr. Qwop or Dr. Derp since the non-Desert-Bus episodes began.
• Artistic License – Geography:
  • Invoked by Graham when discussing the tourism board's motto "Nsburg: The Best Darn Town North of the Mississippi". He is convinced the tourism board held the map sideways.
  • Also "A Steppe Below", which Graham clams was born from a willful misunderstanding of geological physiography (and of slogans).
• Ascended Extra: Sort of. Joan the Station Manager went from an off handed mention in season one to having a relatively active presence in the background of season two. She hasn't had a speaking roll yet, but there has been plenty of occasions where other members of the cast have specifically responded to her off "camera" activities.
• Blunt "No": Graham refuses to call Lorna "Mama Medicine" when she's hired for the station. Especially as she keeps getting his name wrong.
  Graham: And now... health... with the QWRP health correspondent, Lorna Shlitzwhistle.
  Lorna: Please Grant, call me "Mama Medicine".
  Graham: No.
• Brainless Beauty: Derek of all people. He's occasionally managed to get dates during interviews, with one person describing him as 'surprisingly cut'. He then freaks out thinking he's bleeding.
• Brick Joke: Does crop up from time to time, usually as part of a call back to the previous episode; things such as the Fourth Quarter Tree Lighting or the Nsberg High School's V2 rocket. Episode 9 is notable for having one in a single episode, with the joke primed during the traffic report (Joy sees a car fire on Injinika Drive) and the punchline delivered during the call-in over the disputed patent. (Irresponsible invention testing by one of the callers caused said car fire.)
• Brown Note: Deep Salad are a group of youtubers making foley sounds, which according to Derek are outright painful to listen to, Alex worries this is killing Derek and Derek bit through a mouthguard as he listens to them. However the sound doesn't carry through FM radio so Graham and Alex (and the audience) don't hear anything.
  Graham: Can you ask them to turn it up?
  Derek: (Scream-whimpering) Noooooooooosure. Hey guys turn it up Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!
  '''Graham:"' Hey Derek why are you doing those sounds.
• Calvinball: The local favorite sport of Sideball. We are never given the full rules, other than it involves kicking a ball, is a winter sport, allows for up to 6 nonhuman players (though Raccoons are prohibited), that everyone in town can be called to fill in for a missing player at any time, and that it's legal to kill other players. Positions include: punter, 3rd turnstile, and left whicket. Each time Sideball is presented, more complex and often unexplained rules and positions are mentioned and added.
  Michael: I found all the razzle-dazzle was gone from the positions of both third razzler and second dazzler.
  Graham: Now third razzler that's senior Digby Swift, right?
  Michael: That's right Graham. Mr. Swift, who's new to the position this year, I found he couldn't thread the boat and jam the honey home.
  Alex: That's such a shame. You really need a good honey jammer on third razzle.
• Camp Wackyname: Lake Indianname parodies this trope, being a placeholder name marked down by a particularly racist official. It's actually named after a guy from India whose name is the considerably less complicated Anesh Patel.
• Canon Discontinuity: The Desert Bus Qwerplines are broadly considered non-canonical. The bits they particularly like get recycled in main episodes.
• Cliffhanger: A few episodes have ended with obvious hooks or unresolved issues for the next episode, but the most prominent are likely the election for Aldersm'n on Episode Seven, and Derek putting the deed to the broadcast building in the property lottery in Episode Seventeen — the episode ends as it's Derek's turn to go draw a deed from the cauldron, and we do not learn where the show will be forced to broadcast from.
• Cliffhanger Copout: After the cliffhanger with the random deed distribution, we find out in the next episode that Edith had negotiated a solution in the meantime and they still have the same studio. They do have to do free promotions for the restaurant owner that ended up with the deed though.
• Cloudcuckoolander:
  • Derek the intern stands out at this. Among other things he tries to interview a beaver, brings dead raccoons to the recycling center, thinks seitan refers to Satan and forgets he's Jewish, not Christian.
  • Pretty much all the Nsburg residents have shades of this (possibly due to generations of eating a toxic fungus). Other stand-outs include a woman who thinks Wi-Fi is an airborne pathogen made out of tiny demons and a man who built his house in the middle of a major road out of spite.
• Clueless Chick-Magnet: In episode 26, Derek comes down with a "sore throat" that turns his normally high-pitched voice manly. He thinks the effect this has on women (and at least one guy) were because he's infectious and they don't want to catch what he has.
• Cluster F-Bomb: Alex drops a censored one in "Lake Anesh", when it's revealed that they made a wrong turn and held the renaming ceremony for Lake Indianname at "an unused lagoon connected to the East Sump Acres culvert grid."
• Comic-Book Time: The seasons pass like in the real world, but Derek never gets any older. Nor does his summer Internship ends. As of Season 2, Episode 5, Derek has been 19 and intern for three in Universe years at least. The Farmer Bumper Corn Corridor is introduced in season 2 episode 1 as a follow up to the previous year's Corn Maze (which would coincide with Derek's start at QWRP). In episode 4 of the same season, Derek has gone missing while going to explore the corridor's replacement. Episode 5 is explicitly 3 days after episode 4, and Derek mentions the Corn Corridor was a year ago.
• Comically Missing the Point: A local board game designer tried his hand at making a children's game. He was worried that dice were a choking hazard, so half the Door Stopper rulebook is just probability charts. He wanted to encourage teamwork, so most of the gameplay is tedious committee proceedings. Just the setup involves an entire day filling out actuarial tables. Again, this is a game for small children.
• The Comically Serious: Edith Slump, the Art correspondent, speaks only in this droning monotone, even as she describes things that make her happy or sad.
• Cool Old Gal: Berha Burpwinter is 86, smokes ALOT of weed and hash, threatens to punch a prosecutor, speaks like a gangsta, and immediately wins over the crowd in her trial with her strong attitude during her cross examination.
  Derek: The momentum in the court has clearly turned in Bertha's favor. I'm kinda glad I never got to interview her. She seems gangsta OG hard AF.
  Graham: Derek! Where did you learn language like that?
  Derek: Day 2 [of Bertha's trial]!
• Continuity Nod:
  • The main news item of episode 8; a collision on the Shaughnessy river between "A sapphic adventure barge" and "a replica Scandinavian u-boat with spinners welded to the sides". Those would be the sponsor of the previous two episodes: "Granny Marges' Man-Free Barges" and "The Libertine Submarine Limousine".
  • In Episode 9 the people who went missing in the corn maze turn up trapped in the historical rum tunnels.
  • In Episode 17, when radioactive materials are brought by a guest in studio B, Alex yells "Gus. Hazmat. Again!" Hazmat was called to deal with Mr. Crinklestouf's turd kettles and the resulting stench in episode 3.
  • The Poet Laureate of Nsburg in Episode Twenty-Four reads a poem about a truck crashing through a house built in the middle of the road. As he confirms later, he's talking about something that actually happened to the Spite House, introduced in Episode 5.
• Déjà Vu: The Beer Fest episode has new versions of several gags from the Harvest Festival episode and other recurring character bits. The Jam Crone outright points out to Derek that they've had the same conversation about her country of origin before... and then immediately does a beer version of her "who buy ash jam? Fools!" bit. Derek mentions déjà vu by name after talking to her.
• Department of Redundancy Department: The Novel Hovel's March Marchness float includes a mascot of crime-solving goat Tugger Nutts moving rather awkwardly. This is because the mascot is two goats in a goat costume.
  Alex: For authenticity?
  Graham: For authenticity.
• Double Entendre:
  • Every single title of the Tugger Nutts series of books as well as the character's own name.
  • Derek describes people in the Shaunessy II as doing "watersports" and how they are "splashing each other with it, and some guy has it in his mouth".
• Double Meaning:
  • The Sewage Treatment Plant has gone missing. That is to say, the local mascot "Freddy Ficus" who teaches school kids about "where poop goes" has gone missing. Not to be confused with Nsburg Sewage Treatment.
  • One of the town's many mottoes is "The Finest Burgers in Therpston County". They're granulated; according to Alex they actually are quite tasty but they get everywhere.
  • When someone refers to the 'town hall' they're either talking about the Town Hall, center of municipal government in Nsburg, or the Town Hall, nickname of the local pool hall.
• Drunk on Milk: Nsburg PD is letting out a warning about the new drug hitting the street: Durian.
• Early-Installment Weirdness: In the first episode, Alex replies to Graham's greeting in a straightforward manner, something he never does again. Derek's voice is also pretty much Beej's regular speaking voice — subsequent episodes have Derek's voice getting higher pitch till it settles to its final form by Episode Three. similarly, Derek's line delivery also changes after episode 1. The first episode also has musical jingles separating the different segments, which disappear in the following episodes. Alex also tells the news and begins some segments, like passing to Derek. In subsequent episode this is usually done by Graham, with Alex in a more purely reactionary role. Lastly Graham plugs in multiple sponsors during the length of the episode, which he doesn't do again (except one time when they had to rebuy the station from a seafood restaurant).
• Election Day Episode: Episode 7 centers on the debate hosted by QWRP to elect the new Aldersm'n following Aldersm'n Therpston's death in a previous episode. There are nearly 70 candidates and QWRP is legally required to listen to all of them. Alex ends up accidentally winning due to the votes being split so many ways and a protest vote having everyone write in 'a train' as the candidate.
• Exactly What It Says on the Tin: The Big Pig F—k Off; An annual collaborative event originally intended to help pig farmers breed more strong stock. Nsburg residents get excited about it every year until they remember what actually happens once they are there. As Alex says: It's exactly what it sounds like.
• Foreshadowing: In the last episode of Season 1, a sickly Derek hears sirens and bolts from his upcoming interview with Bertha Burpwinter. A few episodes into Season 2, Burpwinter's on trial for massive pot cultivation.
• Freak Out: Alex has (a rather understandable) one in "Beerfest", brought on by Richter's decision to responsibly lock himself out of the controls of the Qwopter so as not to fly drunk...while the Qwopter is hovering three thousand feet directly over the titular beerfest because Richter is scared it would be stolen.
  Alex: Oh, sh<quack>!
  Graham: Alex, it's okay. It's okay!
  Alex: People gonna die! They gonna die!
• Fun with Acronyms: The Nsberg Anime Research Undergrad Television Organization, or Naruto for short.
• Fun with Homophones: Occurs a few time. One motto is "Where the Sky Meets", which Alex interprets as "Sky Meat", complaining he's never had any. Another time, Alex declares he's feelint "Taught", which Graham interprets as "Taut", and gets confused when Alex further says he was feeling GED-Equivalent and not that he needed a massage.
• Fun with Subtitles: When Lorna calls the station and Graham asks her how she got this number, she mentions her cousin gave it to her. The title card updates to "Lorna Schlitzwhistle - Gus' Cousin". As she keeps talking her title eventually updates to "Lorna Schlitzwhistle - Long Talker".
• Geographic Flexibility: Rather like Sunnydale in that the size and importance of the town shifts radically between episodes. Depending on the needs of the plot it's either so small it only supports one gas station or so large that it has multiple malls (at least four have been mentioned, but never more than one in the same episode).
• Girl Scouts Are Evil: Nsburg's Girl Guides are organized like a military unit, complete with live-fire exercises and an emblem which includes a skull and Ka-Bar knife. They're sometimes called upon to help with official city business, at which point you can expect violent consequences for any infractions.
• Gone Horribly Right:
  • Bumper Farms opens a corn maze; eight visitors and thirteen search-and-rescue volunteers have been lost to it so far. It later turns out they were victim to a sinkhole caused by the roof of an old smuggler tunnel collapsing.
  • In Sideball, it's apparently possible for a team to score too many goals. Which makes the scoreboard exceed its maximal number displays and roll back to 00. Derek watches a game where Nsburg's team is dominating the other team and actually trying to avoid scoring any higher, less they roll over and give the other team the win. It's harder than it sounds since their own best player is lost in the sporting equivalent of berserker rage.
• The Ghost:
  • Bertha Burpwinter always gets her interview cancelled before she can make it on air in season 1. She finally appears in season 2.
  • Joan, the station manager, is repeatedly mentioned but never heard (not even as sound effects like Gus.)
• Grade System Snark: Edith Slump's book 50 Fiery Curries gives each recipe a heat rating. The lowest is 3 peppers (because they're fiery curries, so nothing cooler is included) and the highest is "call the hospital ahead of time" (the symbol for which is a flaming gurney).
• Herr Doktor: Darren Von Spront, Crinklestouf's scientific rival. He has a broad Central European accent and an aloof manner to contrast Crinklestouf's more manic behavior.
• High Turnover Rate: The station has a different sports reporter in each episode with a sports report. The reason for this is never mentioned but presumably, they keep quitting or getting fired. Or in the one instance where it is explained, promoted and then locked in a room with radioactive material.
  • So far the most consistent sports reporter has been Montgomery Kone, and even he's absent for his first report as he's drafted into the game he's supposed to be covering.
• His Name Is...: Richard Therpston dies before he can say which government he broke away from to form Therpston County. It was Greensborough, incidentally.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: In episode 22 Alex gets so annoyed by Richter that he gets a bottle of liquor from Michael O'Leary's closet and kills the whole thing; he rapidly goes through the stages of drunkenness and passes out within minutes.
• Insane Troll Logic: Most of the guests and crew, in particular, Richter and Derek who both appear in every episode:
  • Richter flew the traffic helicopter over the Jewelsberg Motordrome because he'd rather do sports than traffic reports, and saying he can do the sport correspondent's job blindfolded. So he blindfolds himself. And when asked to then at least give the race results, he says he can't ... as he can't see them on account of being blindfolded.
  • When Derek interviewed Therpston County founder Richard Therpston in a cafe, Therpston collapsed face first in his plate of muffins, eyes still open, unable to breathe (what with the muffins in the way; either that or he suffered a sudden heart attack and Derek's description of the event wasn't very clear). Derek assumes he's sleeping. When told by Graham to call 911, he assumes they want him to send an ambulance to the station for Alex. When they finally manage to make him realize Aldersm'n Therpston might've just died, Derek's first question is "Am I haunted?". In the next episode, he's running for Aldersm'n on the logic that Richard Therpston's ghost lives inside him now.
  • When Derek is sent to his former high school to do a piece on their holiday dance, he spends the entire piece thinking he's being sent to re-do his high school because on graduation he was told he didn't have to come back.
  • After a drop in postage rates, the city put out negative 3 cent stamps.
  • The Pipesmen insist that all of the write-in votes for Alex, under his handle of A-Train, should actually count towards their secret protest write-in initiative to have light rail installed (that is, voting for "A train") which nobody else knew about. Even though they openly admit that an indeterminate number of those votes were meant for Alex.
• It Makes Sense in Context: In-universe; Graham takes a bathroom break and misses Derek's interview with Father Bumper. On getting back it gets summed up as "God is dead, Derek killed him" to his confusion.
• Jackhammered Conversation: The only person Derek interviews who has actual opinions on the referendum for voting reform is an EMT who is using jaws of life. She starts talking about her problems with one of the voting methods just as the machine turns on, rendering her barely audible. When Derek asks her to repeat herself, the jaws of life turn on again.
• Kent Brockman News: The main premise of the show.
• Little Miss Badass:
  • The Nsburg Girl Scouts are a little more... militaristic than other scouting organizations.
  • Joy, a six-year-old girl, can pilot a helicopter.
• Lost in the Maize: After a group of people disappear into Bumper's corn maze, a rescue party goes in after them. They also disappear. It turns out they weren't lost in the maze; rather, they fell through the ground into the Nsburg Rum Tunnels and are eventually discovered when Derek does a field piece there.
  • After the lawsuits, Bumper averts this trope by turning the maze into a Corn Corridor.
• Mad Scientist: Raphael Crinklestouf, whose experiments range from annoying to incredibly dangerous.
  • To a lesser extent Crinklestouf's rival, Darren Von Spront, who has even created a few incredibly similar inventions, although he leans more towards amoral and profiteering than actually mad.
  • A good example of this dichotomy is during their first conflict. Both of them claim the patent on what is effectively the same Death Ray, but Von Spront wants to sell it to the highest bidding nation while Crinklestouf wants to sell it as a novel way to heat up pies on people's windowsills.
• Mathematician's Answer: Graham and Alex trying to get from Farmer Bumper how big his prize-winning radish is elicits a few of those.
  Graham: How big is it?
  Bumper: Big enough!
• Market-Based Title: invoked Tugger Nutts and the Pearly Orchid is the UK title of Tugger Nutts Wrestles The One-Eyed Champ.
• Memetic Badass: Invoked: The (unseen) Nsburg girl-scouts are known for the occasional mugging, are heavily armed and are also deputized by Officer Steve to break up riots. Their symbol is a pink octagon containing a skull with ponytails and a beret surmounting a combat knife.
• Mood Whiplash: In the 6th episode the main story involves the search for missing persons, their interview subject dies on-air... and then while they're still freaking out they realize they have a phone prank program lined up next. Followed by a clown.
• Mushroom Samba: The "Nsberry" that Nsburg residents have been eating for decades is actually a powerful hallucinogenic fungus. Alex believes this may explain some of the oddities about the town.
• My Nayme Is: A title rather than a name. According to the description of Episode 7, Therpston County has an Aldersm'n, rather than an Alderman.
• Mythology Gag: The Prank Tank originated in the LoadingReadyRun episode 106.7 The Drive.
• Nazi Nobleman: The senile old man who has been playing Santa Claus in every parade since the '80s spends most of his time mumbling incoherently — but among the phrases that can be made out are "I married a countess", "sounds like the Panzer Corps" and "all gone to Argentina".
• The New Rock & Roll: Nsburg police put out a warning that a new street drug is spreading among teenagers: durians. One of the "warning signs" of use is "they know what a durian is". They're still available at the grocery store, though.
• Non Sequitur:
  • Some of the Nsburg tourism board slogans delivered by Graham at the start of every episode qualify:
    "Where the sky meets"
    "City of Lawns"
    "The Second Best Miami" ^note They won that motto from Lesser Miami in 79 after defeating them in a sideball tournament.
    "Land of a Thousand Cakes"
  • Alex' answer to Graham's greetings (or asking him how he's feeling) at the start of each episode veers close to this.
    "Hashtag: Inert!"
• Non-Indicative Name: The Nsburg Animal Sanctuary is a sanctuary for those who don't like being around animals. As such it has no animals in it.
• Non-Specifically Foreign: The schtick of the appropriately-named Old Country Woman. Her accent migrates back and forth between Eastern Europe and the Mediterranean and she only refers to her nation of origin as 'Old Country'.
• Noodle Implements: We don't know exactly what happened to get the recycling center shut down, but they've cleaned up the bodies and request people stop trying to recycle dead raccoons, kiddy pools full of razor blades, and weapons-grade plutonium.
  • Then we figure it out: apparently no one in Nsburg (besides the head of the center, Kendra Tiltington,) knows how to recycle. They turn in just about every non recyclable item imaginable and dump the actual recyclables at the municipal junkyard... which they drive past to get to the recycling center. The moment she learns about this, Tiltington snaps.
• Noodle Incident:
  • Alex went floating on the sewage outflow stream in East Sump Acres once, prior to coming to work. No context is given as to why. For some reason, he refers to this as "the time he toured the Dead Sea".
  • Graham mentions "Nsburg became landlocked in 1871" and implies that it has a volunteer coast guard because it didn't used to be. How it happened is not explained. May involve the salt flats mentioned in an earlier episode.
  • Nsburg flirted with Communism in the '90s.
  • During Bertha's trial, she invokes what the judge assumes to be the "Hammockslam Defense." The context implies that Richter was once arrested for taking drugs over the legal limit and attempted to defend himself by claiming that it takes an unusually high volume of drugs to affect him, but this defense was rendered inadmissible by the supreme court in appeals.
• Obstructive Bureaucrat: Used unusually benevolently during Von Spront and Crinklestouf's debate over who invented their heat ray first. Alex, realizing that either of them getting the patent would be disastrous, uses his powers as Aldersm'n to tie the legal proceedings in red tape to keep either party from producing it.
  • He later does this to the Pipesmen when they want to install a light rail in town. His opposition to the project seems to be less about the light rail itself and more that the Pipesmen have previously tried to have him impeached and are now going on with the initiative without actually lobbying for his permission.
• Oddly Small Organization:
  • The Nsburg Volunteer Coast Guard is one guy, Gordon. With Nsburg being landlocked, Gordon has jurisdiction over the river, sewage system, and a few bathtubs but NOT the pool as he's afraid of the dead raccoons it contains.
  • Officer Steve seems to make up the bulk of Nsburg PD, although the fact that at one point he mistakes Graham and Alex for police officers suggests that there must be more of them.
  • Nsburg Search consists of one guy (Dan) who is really good at searching but when he finds people he just laughs at them. They are having a fundraiser to hire someone else to follow him and handle the "And Rescue" part of Search and Rescue.
• Oh, Crap!: Two in the second season so far. Once for Alex personally when the Nsburg District Prosecutor turns his case against the "authority in power" he's been convinced is complicit in the marijuana proliferation (and immediately fades when it turns out he's going after Nsburg's mayor, a box of paperclips), and another for Graham and Joan when Richter's fears of the Qwopter being stolen mix with his decision not to fly drunk. (Alex, as noted above, has a full-blown freak out on this.)
• Ominous Mundanity: When going over the equipment used for Rhythmic Gymnastics, Tumbletrubb briefly mentions something called 'The Orb'. When Graham asks how it's different from the balls used in other sports, Tumbletrubb's explanation isn't comforting.
  James Tumbletrubb: G-Money, the difference is, you can touch the ball. You mustn't touch The Orb.
• Once per Episode: Every episode opens with the announcer giving a brief ad for the show's latest sponsor (which will almost always be an elaborate and unlikely rhyming product or service), followed by Graham asking Alex how he is (and usually getting a bizarre response), followed by an awkward segue in which Graham gives one of Nsburg's many, many tourist board slogans. Every episode will include on a segment where Richter (fails to) gives a traffic report, and someone being interviewed by Derek.
• One-Steve Limit: Averted. There are two Michael O'Leary in town. The station reporter and another referred to as "Michael O'Leary No Relations".
• Only One Name: Alex/A-Train, Graham/G-Money, and Derek.
• Only Sane Man: Alex and Graham, generally. While they ignore some of the more bizarre occurences in Nsburg's history, they seem aware that their town is quite strange. They just aren't too bothered by it.
• Our Founder: Richard Therpston, founder and Aldersm'n (sic) of Therpston county.
• Pantomime Animal: The Novel Hovel float in the March parade has a pantomime goat with two goats inside the costume.
• Patchwork Map: Though we never see a map of Nsburg, the description of the town and its surroundings imply this.
  • There's a mountain between Nsburg and Jewelsberg (Alex suggests parking the mobile broadcast van there so they can broadcast in Jewelsberg and insult them). Said mountain also creates a temperature inversion, causing Nsburg to have incredibly stable weather.
  • There's a river heading into town (The Shaughnessy), near the highway (also the only major route into town), floodplains where said highway and river are (and maybe a second set of floodplains). There is also at least one lake (Lake Indianname / Lake Anesh).
  • There are salt flats, and Nsburg used to be coastal but became landlocked in 1870. Nsburg is also 6 feet above sea level, which they measure every year as a part of a ceremony.
  • Nsburg is in a geologically active area as it has a geyser, "The Therpston Blowhole," or just "Old Blowy" for short.
  • Despite the river, floodplains, previous coastline, and occasional bouts of endless rain, Nsburg is in vicinity of a desert.
• Permanent Elected Official: Nsburg's mayor, Steno Paperclips, is a box of paperclips. It has held the office for 9 years. The last mayor died in office and was replaced by a box of paperclips. The last mayoral election was 17 years prior. Though Nsburg is reviewing its electoral system via referendum, with the hopes to perhaps again elect a mayor. This is becoming an emergency as people are taking paperclips out of the box and not returning them, and no one knows what happens when the box is empty.
• Perverted Pig: Enforced in episode 14, "High and Dry", where the old Nsburg farmers' market is hosting the Big Pig F**k-off. Initially a cooperative breeding initiative among Therpston county farmers to promote strong stock among their pig drifts, it evolved into a "much beloved annual family event and betting opportunity" as to which hog will sire the most heirs.
• Precision F-Strike: Usually done by Alex. Sometimes by Graham, like on a call to Richter, and Richter starts speaking in seeming gibberish.
  Richter: Saluton Graham. Mi fluga supa ato bojo foenone caje traffico foes libre. Existas tanen triauto caracho suvofloom supapaso.
  Graham: Richter... What in the F-(Bleep)!
  Alex: Esperanto.
  Richter: Correct Alex!
• Reluctant Ruler: Alex, who won the election for Aldersm'n completely on accident. While he's occasionally able to use his position to his advantage, he generally dislikes all the extra responsibilities it gives him.
  Alex: By the power imposed on me...
• Retcon:
  • Coach McFeels was originally described using male pronouns in an early episode but is female when she appears in Episode 7.
  • When the Aldersm'n position was initially mentioned it was explicitly a county-level position based out of Jewelsburg. After the election storyline, it seems to be equivalent to the mayor of Nsburg, based out of the town hall and never being mentioned as having authority beyond it. This gets lampshaded much later; Nsburg actually does have a mayor, but since it's a box of paperclips and they haven't bothered to hold a local election in seventeen years Alex is de facto mayor as well.
• The Rival: The QWRP station's main competition is Jewelsburg 101 The Mix. Multiple characters have implied they'd rather be listening to the Jewelsburg station but can't get their signal.
  • To Qwerpline as a show, Jimmy Jams' Afternoon Jams and the Prank Patrol. This seems to mostly stem from Graham and Alex's personal dislike of Jimmy Jams.
  Graham: Can't really say you've had the full Jimmy Jams experience unless you've been downwind of him.
• Running Gag:
  • The community pool is full of raccoons. As are the recycling center and the rum tunnels.
  • Someone mentioning that some event had "no casualties, unless you count Raccoons/Beavers, which for tax reasons, we are legally obligated to do, at which point there were (some arbitrary number) victims."
  • The mention of Raccoons in general.
  • Everyone leaving anything except recyclables at the recycling center.
    • And Kendra Tiltington's increasingly anguished pleas for people to stop.
  • In addition to the municipal Town Hall there is also a pool hall that everyone calls the Town Hall so people always have to clarify which one they are talking about.
  • Derek is 19. Don't forget that.
  • The station has a different sports announcer every time the position shows up. The first time a sports reporter returns, Michael O'Leary is incapacitated while filling in on a business report, so Edith has to fill in on sports. Hilarity Ensues.
    • Reaches a new peak in Episode 21, where they don't even get to speak to their new sport reporter because one player in the sideball tournament he was covering called in sick, so he was conscripted to fill her slot, leaving Derek (who wasn't even working that day) to do the report.
    • By episode 25, Edith becomes the only person to report on sports twice. Both time filling in for the previous sports reporter.
  • Every In-Studio interview ends with the Hazmat team being called to the station. On the second time, the team actually got smart and had the interview in the glass studio B.
  • Any time you hear Alex say "A'yup!", something cringeworthy has happened or is about to.
  • The phrase "It's a game of inches". Also that phrase causing Corpsing.
  • Bertha Burpwinter not getting to speak a single word whenever she's featured. Until season 2, anyway.
  • Lake Indianname and Alex's efforts to get it renamed. Every time this comes up someone will point out that "Anesh" isn't even a difficult name.
  • Whenever Graham tries to clear up Ambiguous Syntax the response is either "both" or "it alternates". If he's the one being asked it'll be more complicated but just as absurd.
  • During the traffic segment, Richter will talk about anything but the traffic. When he does give out traffic information of his own volition it's almost always when he's supposed to be covering something else entirely.
• Safety Worst: After a number of lawsuits from the people who went missing in the corn maze, Father Bumper restructures it into more of a 'corn corridor', which is a straight line with a rest stop in the middle. The cost of admission has jumped up massively due to the rest stop being an Orange Julius. To top it off, this doesn't even fix the problem of people falling into the rum tunnels, which was the reason for the disappearances in the first place.
  • This is later inverted when Bumper restructures the attraction again by burning the whole thing down and filling it with chain-link fences and concertina wire, renaming it to the 'Escape Field'. According to Bumper it's "technically possible" to escape, although the more time you spend the more expensive it gets and he charges an arm and a leg for hints. And you can still fall into the rum tunnels.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here:
  • In episode 20, when the Pipesmen once again call the station, Alex assuming they are calling to bother him to approve their light rail, just leaves the studio to visit Michael O'Leary (who now lives in the newly renovated closet). The two share some sous-vide cooking, returning after their call.
  • Alex does it again when Richter reveals he actually does give out traffic info... on his own live stream. Alex screams "Oh My God!" and walks into Michael's closet, coming out a few minutes later with a bottle of 90 proof alcohol.
  • DJ Whitebeard attempts this when Joan the station manager comes after him with Michael O'Leary's breaker bar for hijacking the station's signal for his pirate radio station. Key word being attempts: Joan actively pursues him when he tries, first on foot, and in later the by air in the Qwopter with Joy piloting.
• Shaped Like Itself:
  • Raphael Crinklestouf's turd engine does ninety miles per turd kettle. When asked how big his turd kettle is, he replies it's big enough for 90 miles.
  • One of Nsburg tourism board motto: "Nsburg. If you lived here... you'd live here!"
• Shout-Out:
  • A few to Highlander. A clever one is that when Alex notes he and Graham aren't Derek's (who thinks he's a "Highlander") mom, he notes that if Derek's right, neither is his mom. In Highlander, all Immortals are foundlings.
  • Derek's exclamation in episode 8:
    "Nooo! That's not true! That's impossible!"
  • Derek in episode 10, when interviewing himself, asked if he felt fear when he rescued the Maze Runners.
    "Someone once said, "Fear is the mind-killer, fear is the little death"?
  • The Nsburg Sentinel calls the people lost in the corn maze "The Maze Runners".
  • Michael O'Leary is stuck in a glass studio filled with radioactive material.
    'Michael O'Leary: I have been, and always shall be your friend, Alex.
  • Nsburg Animal Sanctuary (founded by Michael O'Leary, no relation to the above), is a Sanctuary for those who want to live away from Animals. When asked why wasn't just called Nsburg Sanctuary since it has no animals, Michael replies he was worried doing so would cause it to become a refuge for Hunchbacks.
  • Due to budget problems, the bronze statue of the late Aldersm'n is as-yet unfinished, and Derek describes its current form as "Two vast and trunkless legs of bronze" bearing the inscription "Look on my works ye mighty and".
  • In one episode, Alex's traditionally-non-sequitur response to Graham's "How's it going A-Train?" catchphrase is "Frog blast the vent core!".
  • On a trip to Finland, Sadie Casperson thought she saw an aurora borealis, but it was a fire inside someone's kitchen.
  • Edith tells Alex and Graham when she goes to investigate a report gone bad from Derek to look to the East whence she may be reborn anew.
  • The pirate disc jockey who tries to hijack the station's frequency is named Whitebeard, and Joan's initial on-foot pursuit of Whitebeard's van is actively compared to The T-1000.
• Small Town Rivalry: Nsburg seems to have enmity with every other settlement in Therpston County. Which one is currently the primary focus of their ire changes from episode to episode.
  • Nsburg's conflict with Jewelsburg is mostly in the context of a sports rivalry. Nsburg residents also keep vandalizing their sign of "Diamond of Therpston County" to read "Zirconium of Therpston County", causing them to change the town slogan to "Thankfully not Nsburg".
  • Lesser Miami dislikes them because Nsburg holds the rights to the slogan "The second-best Miami", forcing Lesser Miami to use instead of the less impressive "Still technically a Miami".
  Beatrice Landstraad: Humans have traditions! Unlike orangutans, or chimpanzees, or people from Cheffield.
• Sound-Effect Bleep: In Season 1, they used regular beeps to censor swear words. In Season 2, they instead used duck quacks.
• Speaks Fluent Animal: Subverted: Derek speaks to animals. They just don't reply to him. Or listen to him.
• Status Quo Is God: Derek's cold in "Don't Bet On It" is never brought up again in later episodes. Presumably he got over his cold and neither G-Money nor A-Train thought it was worth bringing up.
• Stealth Pun: The proudly Pagan Lorna Schlitzwhistle is always concerned about her beehives and puts religious associations with them. They're blessed bees.
• Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: Most of the sponsors are Tongue Twisting rhymes (e.g. Joss Ross' Boss Moss Floss), but the sponsor of episode 13 is a Tongue Twister of words that look like they should rhyme but don't: The Lougheed Tough Slough Plough.
  • Rhyming sponsors also get rhyming slogans except for The Concise Device by Bernice Price, which simply gets 'it works' at the beginning of the episode and 'it still works' at the end.
• Take Our Word for It: Despite not being one of the sixty-seven declared candidates to replace the late Richard Therpston as Aldersm'n in Episode 7, Alex is the new Aldersm'n in Episode 8. Spelled out in episode 11; thanks to the voters being spread 69 total ways and an unrelated protest-vote movement that meant to vote for "a train" instead of "A-Train" it was a conclusive win. How many write-in votes he actually got is unclear, as the protest campaign was a secret; the actual ratio of who voted for a train and who voted for Alex is impossible to determine.
• Tongue Twister: The sponsors for each episode all are this.
• Too Dumb to Live:
  • Richter Hammockslam, the traffic correspondent is dangerous in his use of the station helicopter (nicknamed the Traffic Qwopter), doing things such as:
    • Flying while blindfolded over a motordrome
    Alex: "I can't wait for our next item: "Idiot Helicopter Pilot Crashes In Jewelsberg's Stupid Oval"."
    • Hovering three feet above the road... on a highway.
    Alex: "I don't think Richter reports the traffic so much as he becomes the traffic."
    • He lands on a transmission tower when his parade float (a blimp) crashes. He then fights off all rescue attempts, assuming them to be bandits he's hallucinating. Even after this is explained to him he refuses to just climb down himself, even though he admits he easily could.
    • He creates craft brews from inside of the helicopter. And drinks them. While it's flying. With Joy as the pilot. Joy is a six-year-old girl.
  • The Bumper Farm corn maze has had twenty-one people vanish inside it (eight visitors and thirteen search-and-rescue volunteers searching for the aforementioned visitors) in only a few weeks of existence and yet it is still open to the public and people are still going inside it.
    • Amusingly Richter is one of the few people to recognize the danger and opts to actually report on the traffic for once instead of flying the Qwopter over the corn maze to help in the search and rescue as he was supposed to be doing.
    • Nsburg authorities suggest anyone choosing to enter the maze take food, a flare gun, and whatever text gives them comfort in dark times.
  • "Jimmy Jams' Afternoon Jams and the Prank Patrol", the show that follows Qwerpline on QWRP is shown to be this. They empty all the fire extinguishers near town square (replacing them with blow torches) during an annual ceremony that consists of lighting a tree on fire that's been soaking in white gas for three days. When Graham and Alex realize what happens, they run out of the studio.
    Graham: [...] taken all the fire extinguishers in the town square and replaced them wi... Oh my god we gotta go warn them!
    Alex: Gus, fill time, we gotta go be heroes!
    Graham: More Qwerpline after this! [runs out]
    (next episode)
    Graham: And in other news, an update on the Fourth Quarter Tree-Lighting Ceremony: After a nearly week-long ordeal of kerosene and progressively less safe blow torch use, the tree is, at last, mercifully, on fire.
    • During the March parade they drive a Panzer IV tank and fire t-shirts (frozen to grip the rifling of course) out of the main gun.
  • Darren Von Spront, local scientist, discovers a new chemical element he calls Sprontium 13. He knows it's highly radioactive. So radioactive it glows and can melt and induce effervescence in nacho cheese. Despite this, he's both consumed nachos sprinkled with the material, and brings it in the studio with no protection nor any warning to anyone about the dangers posed.
  • In another episode Mr. Crinklestouf built a death ray and tried to use it to cook random pies people left out before baking, starting several fires. When Darren, who is disputing the patent points out it's a powerful weapon which he's pointing at people's houses Crinklestouf dismisses the idea.
    • Not to mention that damn turd kettle.
  • DJ Whitebeard, who called into boast about having hijacked the station's frequency for his pirate radio station. While parked outside the QWRP studio. Graham and Alex lampshade how stupid this is, noting that they could have him towed, arrested, or they could watch Joan beat the crap out of him. Almost immediately after, Michael O'Leary chimes in to note that Joan grabbed his breaker bar on her way out the door.
• Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: The Nsburg Girl Scouts carry guns and use beatings and intimidation to sell more Girl Scout Cookies. They are also regularly deputized by the police to assist in riot control. They also tax old ladies prior to helping them cross the street. Alex and Graham debate if this makes them thugs or mercenaries.
• Two Decades Behind: Played for laughs. Pogs are taking off as a major hobby among Nsburg's young adults, with a fairly serious tournament scene.
• Uniqueness Decay: The first time a Brown Thrum shows up the whole story is that the incredibly rare (in Nsburg; they're quite common in general) bird has been spotted. In later episodes they're seen more and more frequently to the point they're basically a nuisance animal, but they're still protected like they were endangered.
• Unusual Chapter Numbers: The pilot episode was originally Episode Zero, but after Episode Two they decided this was confusing. The result is that there is no Episode Three and Two is followed by Four. The YouTube video names were changed to fix this, but the numbers in the videos themselves and on the MP3 downloads still have the gap.
• What the Hell Is That Accent?: The Old Country Woman. It's part of her schtick as a character.
  • To a lesser extent, Sadie. She initially sounds like she's from the Upper Midwest (and fulfills many of the associated stereotypes) but her accent sometimes migrates across the Atlantic into vaguely Scottish.
• Weird Currency:
  • The Town Hall (the one where one pays taxes, not the town pool hall) accepts Raccoon Pelts as payment for municipal taxes.
  • The Harvest Festival Queen (a hereditary monarchy position) is on their dollar bill. Despite Nsburg and Therpston County being ostensibly in North America.
• Weird Weather: Sadie explains that a nearby mountain range causes a phenomenon that results in incredibly stable weather. Whatever it currently is will probably be the same for the next couple of weeks or so.
  Sadie: ...Thursday's sunny, Friday's sunny, Saturday's sunny, Sunday's Jesus, Monday's sunny...
• Weird Trade Union: The Nsburg Omni Union represents every employee in town (except the employees of QWRP, who were declared an essential service in '86 because someone in charge was a big fan of call-in shows).
• Where the Hell Is Springfield?: Somewhere in North America, fewer than 47 degrees north (based on Graham's assertion that the Nsburg Tourism Board was "definitely holding the map sideways"), is the closest we can get to a location. QWRP isn't a valid call sign anywhere, so that's no help.
  • It has prohibition-era rumrunning tunnels going to both Canada and Mexico.
  • They mention that they celebrate Thanksgiving exactly half-way between Canadian and American Thanksgiving in a blatant attempt to not piss off either one.
  • Therpston county uses the Westminster political system, which would mean it is not in the United States. Though in reality it uses an even weirder system with power divided between the mayor (a box of paperclips rapidly approaching being emptied who has been running unopposed for decades), the Alderm'n (who is also elected and seems to rule over the entire county), and the Harvest Queen and Harvest Princess (The former being hereditary while the later is elected at the harvest festival and act as town-specific constitutional monarch). There are no mentions of governments above the county level.
  • In "Beer Fest" nobody can figure out whether 19 year old Derek can legally drink or not, with the space between Canada's 18 and the US's 21 considered a grey area.
  • One episode is sponsored by a Canadian comedian referred to as an expatriate, which would rule out Canada.
• Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: The Nsburg coastguard doesn't perform rescues from the local pool because they consist of only a single man named Gordon and he hates raccoons.^note It has previously been stated that the pool is full of raccoons.
• Yo Momma: Invoked but averted... Nsburg celebrates Yo Momma's Day, but the holiday actually consists of giving pleasant gifts to other people's mothers. Graham points out that Gus making funny sound effects during the Yo Momma's Day announcements is infringing on the sanctity of the holiday. Especially after him and Alex sent Gus' mom a large ham.
  Graham: We might not get along, but that's the whole point. It's not about you, it's about Yo Momma!
• You Mean "Xmas": Nsburg celebrates "Fourth Quarter Holiday". Even religious citizens will talk about "the true meaning of the fourth quarter." On the other hand, the Nsburg 1986 Christmas Parade competes in March Marchness, and Derek is excited to talk to Santa Claus, so the situation is unclear.

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