Hello, and welcome to the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast! The number one podcast for those involved, or just interested, in the production of beef animals and dairy herds. The Beef and Dairy Network Podcast is the podcast companion to the Beef and Dairy Network website and printed magazine, brought to you by Mitchell's.
Or, a British absurdist comedy podcast using cattle as an excuse to make jokes. Either way.
The brainchild of comedian Benjamin Partridge, BADN releases new episodes monthly on the Maximum Fun podcast network. It takes place in a world where beef and dairy production are immensely Serious Business and nobody is really very sane, and is sponsored in-universe by Mitchell's, an American agricultural supply/video streaming company.
The Beef and Dairy Network Podcast provides examples of:
- Amusement Park of Doom: Eli's World of Mosquito Mayhem.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Expect any business executive coming on the podcast to fit the bill.
- Crapsack World: Wherever Eli Roberts finds himself, the landscape immediately becomes one by his hand.
-
Creator-Driven Successor: All three voices on Three Bean Salad will be familiar to Beef listeners, and the style of humour is often very similar. - Deadly Game: Downplayed. "Beef Call" isn't fatal, but contestants must wager high-value personal possessions in order to play. Prizes include lifetime supplies of beef, and factory tours where the winners become slave labor.
- Fatal MacGuffin: The so-called Fifth Meat, which of course doesn't exist and totally won't get you Unpersoned if you dare eat it or acknowledge its existence.
- Fictional Holiday: Beefhead Day
- I Can't Believe It's Not Heroin!: Though being one of the official Four Meats and *technically* harmless, lamb is highly dangerous to British society by disrupting their bovine-based culinary culture and leading people to consume an actual hard narcotic: mint sauce.
- No Name Given: The host remains unnamed since the podcast inception in 2015.
- Overly Long Gag: Frequently. Recurring instances:
- RICH BEEF SAUSAGES
- The "Beef Call" phone number
- Inverted by the newest iteration of the number — 1 — which brings with it its own host of problems.
- Ridiculously Long Phone Number: The "Beef Call" phone number evolves into a 3-minute long song with many doubles, triples, a backup singer and interpretive dance.
- Running Gag:
- People being reduced to nothing but a head, lungs, liver, and anus.
- The Beefhead Ball and the British Beef Council Annual Dinner and Barn Dance ending up as complete disasters.
- Scam Religion: The Church of Eli.
- Super Serum: Exposure to extreme amounts of cow's milk in infancy can apparently turn a baby into a 6-foot tall monstrosity capable of speech, shrugging off gunfire, and tearing a dog in half.
- The Men in Black: The fate of the very first guest, Dr. David Pin. Also the presumed instigators of the various Unpersonings throughout the series.
- Toilet Humor: For a podcast ostensibly about beef and dairy interests, there are a LOT of shit and piss jokes.
- Unperson: Anyone mentioning ingestion, or even the mere existence, of a "fifth meat" are immediately liquidated.note
