Basic Trope: A list of 3 or more things ends on the weakest point.
- Straight: Alice is listing off a number of reasons not to date Bob. It goes as follows: "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and he leaves the toilet seat up."
- Exaggerated:
- "He's killed every girlfriend he's had, he sells heroin to children, and his haircut makes his ears look big."
- "He's sentenced to jail for life imprisonment because of mass murder, but he escaped, he's on the FBI top ten most wanted list, and he wears a silly hat."
- "He wants to bring the End of the World as We Know It, he killed my father and he peed in public."
- "He decapitated everyone he sees in his path, he kidnapped 100 children, and he leaves his pants down at the toilet."
- "He tortured his family, he left them behind in his basement to leave them to starve, and he got an F on his math test."
- "He committed arson on his grandparents' home, he murdered his children and he harasses people who disagree with his opinions on Twitter."
- "He massacred an entire elementary school, he killed the president and he cut in line during lunch."
- "He destroyed multiple solar systems, he inflicted the population of an entire planet into a Fate Worse than Death, he raped thousands of women and he crossed the road on a red light once."
- "He bombed every single country on Earth, he enslaved several galaxies to do everything for him, and he sells NFTs."
- "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, he drives recklessly, he has literal skeletons in his closet, he was a member of the Nazi Party back in 1930, he framed several innocent people for being groomers, he caused Chernobyl, he assassinated a competent political figure, he sunk the Titanic, he’s a serial rapist...", and the list goes on for hundreds of items before concluding with "...and he occasionally forgets to like your posts on the internet."
- Arson, Murder, and Lifesaving: "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer... But he once saved a kid from being murdered."
- Downplayed:
- "He doesn't say 'please' or 'thank you', he snaps at people for every slight, and he only eats his pasta with marinara sauce."
- "He never says 'sorry', He uses several slurs, and he leaves the toilet seat up."
- "He scolds me, he never cleans his room by himself and he often eats Hawaiian pizza"
- The least ends with an item that is still negative, but less than the other ones "You are charged with: War crimes, high treason, and armed robbery."
- The things on the list aren't entirely disturbing, but the last thing definitely doesn't fit in with the rest: Our flavors of ice cream are liver, spinach, fermented fish, garlic, and vanilla.
- Justified:
- For some twisted reason, leaving the toilet seat up is really the worst crime in Alice's book.
- Alice is listing the reasons by order of priority, and the next-to-last item is notably worse than the last.
- Alice listed leaving the toilet seat up last, but that doesn't mean she thinks it's the worst.
- Alice is an alien with Blue-and-Orange Morality, and in her society leaving the toilet seat up is a serious crime.
- Alice is legally obligated to list every single one of Bob's crimes, no matter how petty. She lists the least heinous last because it's a Long List and by then the people listening wouldn't be paying attention.
- The "and he wears a silly hat" wasn't a crime but distinguished Bob from the other escaped mass murders on the FBI's most-wanted list. It sounds trivial but it answers the question of "which one" quickly for those who don't recognize Bob's generic name.
- The lamest item on the list is Serious Business to Alice (otherwise she would have left it alone, like the thirty thousand times Bob forgot to wash his hands).
- The lame crime at the end of the list is also a serious crime (maybe or maybe not because of Serious Business, Loony Laws, Felony Misdemeanor or something similar) but there is no dodging the part that it sounds stupid as hell if said aloud.
- "He tortured a family, he left them behind in the basement to leave them to starve, and drank a glass of milk from the fridge. Said glass of milk has his fingerprints on it."
- Alice brings up toilet seat as an example of how he casually disregards the needs of anybody but himself in even the smallest of things.
- Inverted:
- Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick
- Alice lists reasons why Bob is awesome, saying "He saves lives, he collects for charitable causes, he makes great pasta, and he wears a great hat!"
- The weakest point is mentioned first.
- Subverted:
- "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and he leaves the toilet seat up... then he beat his last girlfriend with said toilet seat."
- The toilet seat is secretly a device that activates a killer blade if it's been set up for too long, which would kill any unsuspecting person going to the toilet.
- There's more than one "Jaywalking" point.
- Double Subverted:
- "...And his haircut makes his ears look big!"
- "...and he eats lots of junk food with neither exercise nor healthier food! totally neglects himself, and he always wears that silly hat."
- If anybody asks about that particular toilet being the reason Alice is listing "leaves the seat up" amongst Bob's crimes, Alice makes clear that she means a regular toilet.
- ...which themselves have their own "Jaywalking" point.
- Parodied: Carol and Diane are listening as Alice lists off her reasons. They react with casual indifference to the allegations that he drinks a lot and cheats, but react with incredible shock when they find out he leaves the toilet seat up.
- Zig-Zagged: "...and he also beat his last boyfriend. And he has a silly haircut! And I think he does heroin! And..."
- Averted: "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and he kicks dogs around in the street."
- Enforced:
- "Well, we're almost out of comedy gags... wait! We haven't used the Bait-and-Switch list yet!"
- "It's a lighthearted show, we can't have this list of horrible things without something to break the tension."
- Lampshaded:
- Invoked: "So, Alice, why won't you date Bob again?"
- Exploited: ???
- Defied: "I know he leaves the toilet seat up, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not that important."
- Discussed: "If you want to be truly convincing, be sure to always end on the strongest note. The other way around is just silly."
- Conversed: "Why did she include that last thing last? That doesn't seem so bad."
- Deconstructed:
- Alice's priorities are so incredibly screwed up that she's unable to see the forest through the trees...
- Jaywalking Will Ruin Your Life
- Reconstructed: Alice is just being humorous, and people realize that.
- Played for Drama: Bob mentions jaywalking when listing his own crimes, which shows that he doesn't see any difference between murder and jaywalking.
- Played for Horror: Alice is a violent Knight Templar who would behead Bob either because he jaywalked or because he shot his neighbor. She still lists Bob's crimes in order of alleged least priority because there is something about Bob going "wait a second, you're gonna kill me because I jaywalked?" that makes the act more sweet for her.
- Untwisted: "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and he kicks dogs around in the street. By which I mean hot dogs."
First, you must cross a mountain, then you must cross a river, then you must go back to the main page. Then you must fly around the world, then you must browse TV tropes, and then you must kill your pet cat and sacrifice it, then go outside and soak up some rays, and then you must go to Mars. Make sure to take a Mars bar with you, too, and a knife. Oh, and also, can you wash the dishes once you're done?
