I Hate Myself (often stylized as i hate myself) was a short lived emo band in the 90s from Gainesville, Florida. Despite their brief existence (only from 1996-1997, with a brief reunion for a few shows and a final three song record in 2005, and a couple sporadic reunion shows since then), they released quite a few records and developed quite a cult following. The band was led by guitarist and vocalist Jim Marburger, with his brother Jon on drums and Steve Jin as the bassist. Previously the Marburgers had played in an even shorter lived punk band called Pung, who released only two 7 inch records and a split one with fellow Gainesville residents Less Than Jake.
What made the band so notable was how they played up the tropes of emo music at the time up to eleven. They never gave any of their albums or singles a true name, and instead they are simply referred to by the number of songs on them. On their first record, the Four Songs EP, they didn't even give the songs themselves titlesnote Jim's vocals frequently alternated in almost every song between a quiet subduded style of singing and out of control screaming, with the sound also varying between slow twinkly parts and bursts of sound and emotion. The band's lyrics were also pretty bizarre, while often quite dark and somber (about half the songs were about wanting to commit suicide), they were also full of fairly off the wall pop culture references and Black Comedy.
The band did name all the songs on their only full length, 10 Songs, none of them appeared in the lyrics and were at best only tangentially related to the lyrical content (a pretty common running theme in emo music at the time), with some being overtly long and drawn out. It's been speculated that this was Jim poking fun at the angsty lyrical content and rambling unrelated titles associated with emo at the time, but he never said anything definitively. The band's records were, as common with emo music at the time, released only on vinyl, although their label No Idea Records did eventually put out 10 Songs on CD with a bonus track added (thus now releasing it as 11 Songs.) It's still debated to this day if the band was in fact a parody or simply a very Troperiffic example of the style of music. Many have said they might be a little bit of both. Even after the band's demise, a couple more records and EPs were released, and the band reunited briefly to put out their final release of 3 Songs (with a notably different Lighter and Softer sound) in 2005, 8 years later. No Idea did plan on releasing a compilation CD of all of the band's records aside from the full length, but this never materialized. Today however most of their vinyl releases (all released by No Idea Records) are still in print and their music is available from most streaming services. The band has also played a few sporadic reunion shows in Gainesville since 2005 as well.
Despite the band's short existence, the Marburger brothers did return a few years later with Burnman, a band with similar influences but with a Louder And Heavier sound that removed most of the melodic elements and was much faster with shorter songs. Burnman was also short lived and released only one full length, Notes For A Catalogue For An Exhibition in 2000. In 2006 they returned yet again with another band called die Hoffnungnote with a notably different Math Rock sound, that also was short lived and released only one full length (Love Songs).
Basically if you want to experience the early underground emo sound and aesthetic in it purest form, this band is probably your best bet.
Discography
- 4 Songs 12" LP (1997)
- 10 Songs LP/CD (1997)
- Split LP with Twelve Hour Turn (1998)
- Split 7" with Strikeforce Diablo (1998)
- 2 Songs 7" (2000)
- 3 Songs 12" (2005)
I Hate Myself incorporate the following tropes:
- All Love Is Unrequited: The assumption of the narrator in "Caught In a Flood with the Captain of the Cheerleading Squad".
- all lowercase letters: Not just in their name but the liner notes and lyrics on their records.
- Angst: Just look at their name.
- Band of Relatives: 2/3 of the band were brothers.
- Bathos: A common result of their blend of dark lyrical themes and silly pop culture references. For example, "...and Keep Reaching For Those Stars" is a song that starts out with the narrator bemoaning how he wants to be in a motorcycle gang, see Klingons and "naked girls with purple eyes" and seems to be playfully enjoying his fantasy...until the song takes a pretty dark turn and he reveals that he will "blow a hole in the back of his head" and begs everyone to not cry or miss him. Ouch.
- "This Isn't the Tenka-Ichi-Budôkai" is about the pain felt after a very harsh relationship ending in breakup...using a tournament in Dragon Ball Z as a metaphor.
- Black Comedy: Also a common lyrical theme. Some of their darkest and most somber songs still have pretty silly titles.
- "Kind of a Long Way Down" is an example of this, once you realize one of the meanings of the title is literal.
- Careful with That Axe: The most notable thing of Jim's vocals on 4 Songs and the full length LP. Generally averted on the later albums.
- Crossdressing Voice: "To a Husband at War", sort of. The song is from the perspective of a housewife who continues to await for her soldier husband to return home even after receiving notice that he has died, yet is clearly sung by a man.
- Did Not Get the Girl: Basically any of their songs about loving someone at all. Most notably "Urban Barbie" and "Caught In a Flood with the Captain of the Cheerleading Squad".
- Downer Ending: Most of their songs, either implying the death of the narrator or a feeling of hopelessness that can not be overcome.
- Driven to Suicide: Implied with the narrator of "...and Keep Reaching for Those Stars", as well as "A Conversation With Dr. Seussicide" and the woman described in "Kind of a Long Way Down".
- Indecisive Parody: While it's debated if the band was a joke, everyone agrees even if they were they managed to do it pretty poker faced.
- Later-Installment Weirdness: Their posthumous records are pretty different from their early releases, lacking the screaming vocals or reliance on loud/soft dynamics. They're still very dark and somber.
- Mind Screw: Strange metaphors and lyrics that are quite unclear if they're literal or metaphorical all over the place. Also the cover art of the band's records.
- Mood Whiplash: Many of their songs start off as silly or have absurd titles...only to have some pretty dark lyrical content. "Caught In a Flood with the Captain of the Cheerleading Squad" might be the best example, the title implies that it's a joke...or at least somewhat lighthearted. The actual lyrics are
DEVESTATING. - New Sound Album: Their final posthumous EP 3 Songs is notably different. It's more of a concept album, and has more in common with the more mainstream sound of bands like Sunny Day Real Estate.
- Non-Appearing Title: Literally none of their song titles appear in their lyrics. Unless you count "Less than Nothing" but it's unclear if that's a real title or simply a label slapped on the song for the sake of the compilation.
- Old Shame: Jim Marburger later grew to regret the frequent theme of suicide in his lyrics and even wrote an apology letter stating that surely their fans can do things more productive than killing themselves.
- Soprano and Gravel: Jim's vocals are a textbook example. He sings in a very subdued and quiet style...but usually leading up to utter shrieking.
- Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism: Pretty damn far on the cynicism side, particularly with "Song For All The Young Casanovas And Casanovettes".
- "Destroy All Monsters" is a rare aversion.
- Word Salad Lyrics: Surprisingly averted. While this is a trope associated with most emo bands of the era, IHM's lyrics were pretty straightforward describing surreal and usually depressing situations, often with bizarre metaphors, but with a clear meaning.
- World War II: Implied to be the setting of "To a Husband at War". Also obviously the case in "Kamikaze".
