Music / Fascinating Aïda

The Current Trio Liza, Dillie and Adele

Fascinating Aïda is a British comedy singing group and satirical cabaret act founded in March 1983.The trio has gone though several preformers is currently:

• Dillie Keane (the founder)
• Adele Anderson (since 1984)
• Liza Pulman (since 2004)

The songs of F.A are based on other comic singers like Tom Lehrer and Flanders and Swann. They are behind such numbers as Shattered Illusions, Herpes Tango, Lieder and Look Mummy No Hands and the viral hit Cheap Flights and Dogging. They have made several albums, the subject of several BBC TV Programs, they have several recordings as well. They have been nominated for the Perrier Award at Edinburgh, as well as three Drama Desks and three Olivier nods.

Discography (all live recordings save stated):

• 1984 – Get Knotted (Single) ^note part of the BBC Records attempt to turn the group into pop stars it didn't thank God
• 1984 – Sweet FA (Record)
• 1987 – A Load of Old Sequins
• 1994 – Live at the Lyric
• 1997 – It, Wit, Don't Give A Shit Girls
• 1999 – Barefaced Chic
• 2003 – Absolutely Fascinating ^note  this album is from the Off Broadway run so has a mixture of familiar sounding recordings and the translated ones
• 2003 – One Last Flutter
• 2009 – Silver Jubilee
• 2012 – Cheap Flights
• 2013 - The New Me (Single)
• 2014 – Charm Offensive
• 2016 – Back in the Saddle
• 2020 – Live at the QEH
• 2020 – Flowers In Winter (Single)

DVD

• 2009 – Silver Jubilee
• 2012 – Cheap Flights
• 2014 – Charm Offensive
• 2016 – Back in the Saddle (Greatest Hits)

Their works provide examples of:

• A Cappella: Cheap Flights normally is performed without any music apart from the Silver Jubilee when a Bodhran was used.
  • Also earlier in their run they began by singing a song called Boring which is a rewrite of Handel's Hallelujah.
• Anti-Love Song: Song for Tom, which Dillie sings of her 'liking' of Tom:

  Background Singers: MMM AAA It's Love.

  Dillie: Fuck off.

  • Also the torch song Another Man where the singer sings of her love for a gay man.
• Auto Erotica: Dogging has a couple having sex to celebrate the new car they brought:

  Well we rushed back too our car cos we were randy as two goats

  But being late November we had on our duffle coats

  We should have stripped off first before getting back inside

  Cos disrobing in a smart car isn't easy have YOU tried

• Berserk Button: On some of the live recordings, Dillie loses it when people clap along with the song, clearly it's done for comedy.
• Black Comedy: Where to start, there's Radiating Love about remaining in love while dying from Nuclear Fallout, Lerwick Town about the Shetland Island as it slowly gets hotter due to Global Warming and Stick Your Head Between Your Legs about facing death while smiling.
• Bowdlerise: When F.A did a performance of Shattered Illusions on 3,2,1 they changed Adele's Lyric to:

  His boudoir was Cartland Pink

  There were creams and lotions on his sink.

  Oh, my shattered illusions.

  His great big hands were like wet spaghetti.

  Lay on the couch and said, call me Betty.

  And showed me his contusions.

  Wearing a nylon negligee.

  He handed me a whip and said have your why.

  And asked if he could borrow my Lingerie.

  Oh, my shattered illusions.

However the original lyrics are:

His great big hands were like wet spaghetti.

Lay on the couch and said, call me Betty.

Oh, my shattered illusions.

He went on and on, for hours and hours,

About something called golden showers.

And showed me his contusions.

Wearing nipple clamps and bows in his pubic hair,

He handed me a whip and said beat me there!

Then asked if he could sniff my underwear!

Oh, my shattered illusions.

• Also for their TV Concert from 1988 they changed a line in Sew on a Sequin:
  When you feel as black as sin, cause you've only just tuned in.

The original lyric is:

When your mother-in-law has run away with your teenage son.

• Break Up Song: One of the mood whiplash songs is called "I Saw Two People" in-which the singer talks of seeing the man she's with fall in love at a dinner party.
• Cherubic Choir: "Boring" has the trio playing a set of Choir Boys from Oxford trying to sing Hallelujah but it's so boring. In the BBC 1988 Show they even dressed as Choir Boys.
• Coming-Out Story: The song Prisoner of Gender was written about Adele who is a trans woman. The song's context is about her realising as a child something wasn't right, she tried to be a boy and failing but thankful she found the confidence to do it.
  • The context of Adele coming out to the group, was partly out of her hands, first off at her audition, it was asked and she denied it because she no longer saw herself as such, however a mutual friend of both her's and Dillie's spilt the beans but they didn't take it as deception as it was her choice. However after an review mistake her as a Drag Queen they comforted her letting her own that they knew and that her job was safe.
• Continuity Nod: The song White Blues, which was about the flaws of the liberal minded middle class, has been updated several times to go with the current trends.
  • There's the song Bestseller, which talks about writing successful novels, it has been revised to current trends in novels.
  • Also the song So Sorry Scotland is now called So Sorry Ireland as Brexit has since happened.
• Comforting the Widow: All the single women in the song Bob try this as he's moved to the area to deal with his grief, however it's clear from their transformations physically they plan for more than just polite ideas.
• Don't Fear the Reaper: Stick your head between your legs, and kiss your ass goodbye.
• Early Instalment Weirdness: Anyone who has heard the group's debuts Get Knotted or Sweet FA find some of the songs very different to their cabaret style, and that is because the record label BBC Records tried to re-brand them as a POP Band, which did fail to work, and to watch the 40 Minutes Documentary shows that the girls are not conceived it would work.
  • Watching the BBC Documentary or the 1988 BBC concert, Liza Pulman is nowhere to be seen as sopranos have been replaced more than pianos.
• Ethical Slut: Allo! Bonjour Monsieur! is about a French Harlot around town, who flirts with the male members of the Audience, however before she goes with a man she asks if he has a condom.
• Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Cheap Flights and Dogging are just that.
• '80s Hair: In the height of their 1980s shows they had large frocks and hair to match.
• Flat Joy: In the 40 Minutes Doc which shows the creation of Sweet FA, the three are singing one of their songs to the team at BBC Records and it's horrible their reactions, they are smiling but boy it's clear how awkward the scene is. And the critics' review felt the group's pain that how uncomfortable it was for them.^note  In their book Fascinating Who? Dillie remarks that they had been more positive in the first meeting and that instead it was the plan to show how wrong BBC Records were trying to force them to be a pop band.
• Gallows Humour: There are a few like Mother Dear Mother about a daughter convincing her elderly mother to take the one way trip to Switzerland and return as cargo. Taboo which the group sings about subjects they would never write about like Incest or Farting in front of the Queen.
• Gospel Music: Tesco Saves which has the group singing about the store as if it's the divine supermarket of God's making, it even has Audience speaking with them.
• Grand Finale: Sew on a Sequin, Stick Your Head Between Your Legs and Taboo.
• The Grinch: In their Christmas time shows they try to convince the Grinchs to lighten up with this song:

  Though it’s too much to expect you to be nice

  You’ll find that life is easier with this advice:

  Try not to be a cunt, it’s Christmas

  It's only for a day or two

  The rest of us are doing our best to be jolly

  So don’t go looking like you swallowed a bunch of holly

• Grow Old with Me: Dillie Keane and Adele Anderson have been the main players since year 1, however they have looked at the troubles of old age:
  • Dillie has written songs about age like We're Next about facing the fact they are old, Is it Me or is to hot in Here about Hot Flushes and This ain't The Hokey-Cokey any more about the failures of trying to be sexual in later life.
  • Adele has a solo called Big C based on her having cancer and the annoying way people try to play doctor or cheer you up with rubbish stories because they don't know how to talk to you.
• Hypocritical Humour: Shattered Illusions has the trio singing of men that aren't being truthful about their looks or sexual habits, however in the last third the woman finds the best guy in the world however it's revealed that she has had tons of surgery.
  • White's Blues has two middle class women who try to be left wing but they find themselves making excuses for their flaws like for example they want to support the NHS but knowing the waiting list for Hip Replacement means they have Private Insurance.
• Intercourse with You: This Aren't the Hockey Cokey and Dogging.
• In the Style of: The Herpes Tango is based on Tom Lerner.
  • The Ofsted Song is cleverly a rewrite of A Policeman's Lot is Not a Happy One by Gilbert and Sullivan.
• Jaw Drop: In "Joyce", the singer's ex husband reveals he's moved on to Joyce their newly divorced neighbour, as the shock fades she realises not only that he's with the last person she guessed, it's been going on years before and only NOW it makes sense.
• Interrupted Intimacy: In Dogging it happens twice, first time as they are getting undressed the couple headbutt each other resulting in the man going soft, however the woman helps it return. The second time some police officers arrive however it carries on when they ask if they could join in.
• Late Coming Out: In Bob all the women are throwing themselves at the new widower, however it was all for nothing as Bob at the age of 60 is now out and is transiting into Babs.
• LGBT Awakening: Adele's biographic number Prisoner of Gender sings of her realising she was in the wrong skin and once confident enough finally transiting.
• Lyrical Dissonance: Some of the examples include a love song about the effects of Radiation Poisoning, a List Song about Taboos and a jolly song about Dogging.
• The Mistress: In Much More Married, the singer is this, realising that her boyfriend lied about his marriage status and isn't planning to leave his wife anytime soon.
• Mood Whiplash: Despite having all these comical songs, there is one song that makes the tears flow for a different reason:
  • "Time" A Song about people wasting their lives for the wrong reasons.
  • "Look Mummy No Hands" One of the group's most famous, it tells the memories of a woman talking to her Mum who was warning her to be careful on a Merry Go Round, then she worries about her as a teenage, then Mummy has passed on, now the woman is a Mother herself seeing herself copying her.
  • "Flowers In Winter" This is a simple song about elderly Fathers that have served in the War that for many have now passed away.
  • "Goodbye Old Friends" This one is a perfect memorial song for the departed friends we all have.
  • "This Table" We grow old and while the table is aged it remains to our stories.
• Oh, Crap!: The Herpes Tango has a young woman angry that she has the virus in the worst place.
  • Joyce has this when the ex-wife starts to realise that her husband has been around with her best friend since their first meeting.
• Old People are Nonsexual: Averted.
  • Getting It is all the lead’s husband having Viagra and now she can’t stop getting it.
  • In Dogging the couple have a happy sex life in public.
    • However during the song Dillie fearing the Audience might not understand the meanings so she suggests that they either ask someone who got the joke or Google it if they are able to clear their browsing history.
  • This ain't the Hocky Cokey has a couple trying to still have fun despite their age.
• Painful Rhyme: In Allo! Bonjour Monsieur! the lyric rhymes "Luck" with "Panic Stuck", Dillie then breaks character and says:

  Dillie: I known Panic Stuck isn't very good but what can you do, you can't say Fuck in the theatre.

  • Then in Prisoner of Gender there's "puberty" then "Schuberty".
• Sixth Ranger: The group have had Music Directors that sometimes will appear to play the piano for a long time they had Russell Churney who passed away of Cancer in 2007 and now they use Michael Roulston who worked with one of their previous Sopranos.
• Soprano and Gravel: This is more recent a thing due to Dillie's voice ageing, she goes deeper than Adele in some songs.
• Sex Tourism: In Dogging, the Supermarket Car Park is clearly very popular, the couple discover a Threesome already in action.
• Tabloid Melodrama: During their Edinburgh Fringe run, Adele Anderson was noted in a review as being mistake for a drag queen, however some vile press tried to find out the truth by contracting Anderson's family and former college so Anderson did a interview in the papers thus crashing the melodrama before it was used against her.
• Take That!: First off the Ofsted Song talks about a teacher from a school that has suffered from the honestly deluded things that Ofsted inspectors are saying to change.
  • Health and Safety has the leader of a Girl Guides group that plans for speical events but after doing her own Health and Safety checks calls the HSE and regrets it when she sees hazards which are frankly ridiculous.
  • Cheap Flights talks about looking for a good deal on a flight; some are deceptive in their advertising charging you for simple things such as not checking in online or the Visa. Some fans have dubbed it the Ryanair as it sounds way too familiar.
• "I Want" Song: The Song of Sexual Re-Orientation is about a woman tired with men wishing she could be a Lesbian.