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Malaproper / Live-Action Films

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  • Often done by Stan Laurel in his films. Some examples are:
    "Say, mister, don't you think you're bounding over your steps? (from The Music Box)
    "You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead." (from Brats)
    "We floundered in a typhoid." (from Sons of the Desert)
    "A terrible cats-on-me!" (instead of a terrible catastrophe)
    "Upset? I'm housebroken!" (from March Of the Wooden Soldiers)
    "...Yes, the doctor said I might get hydrophosphates." (from Helpmates)
  • Common in the Rocky series, what with Rocky being "officially expired" from boxing and Paulie yelling about his "stinkin' Ex-lax watch."
  • Johnny Nogerelli in Grease 2, whose verbal garbling produces gems such as turning "menstruation" into "mentalstration".
  • In the 2007 version of Hairspray, Amber, trying to get Tracy in trouble, tells Edna that Tracy has entered "a hotbed of moral turpentine".
  • Lenina Huxley in Demolition Man. In this case, it comes from the fact that she's someone from a utopian 2032 trying to replicate 20th-century slang. "Chief, you can take this job and shovel it!" This, interestingly, is the one John Spartan declares "close enough," after some doozies like "Yeah, let's go blow this guy!"
  • In Full Metal Jacket: Private Snowball has a straight Malapropism when he describes Oswald as shooting Kennedy from a "book suppository".
  • Partially subverted in the Bollywood film Baghban, where a cafe owner (played by a Gujarati actor, Paresh Rawal) constantly mangles his Hindi figures of speech, much to the amusement of his wife — which, he reveals, is why he does it.
  • The Pink Panther:
    • Inspector Clouseau may be a unique case: he usually gets the words right, but due to his extremely thick accent, they can sound like other words. For instance, in Trail of the Pink Panther, he asks a hotel clerk for a message, but it comes out as massage.
    • Blake Edwards sometimes carries this a little further in the script by having people misunderstand Clouseau so badly that they worsen the situation. For instance in The Return of the Pink Panther, Clouseau refers to a chimp as a "muenkey" but the other characters, upon hearing this, pronounce it "minkey".
  • Mr. Furious from Mystery Men. He throws out gems like "People who live in glass houses......shouldn't! Because this happens!" (before utterly failing to break a windshield) or: "I am a Pantera's box you do not want to open''. He is corrected by the Big Bad.
  • The character Ben Jabituya from Short Circuit is an Indian (from Pittsburgh) who speaks in a stereotyped Indian accent and constantly spouts badly mangled metaphors in addition to (mostly) grammatically correct but idiomatically horrible English (more here).
    Ben Jabituya: I am standing here beside myself.
    Ben Jabituya: So now I am having no job to speak about. I will have to smack the sidewalk.
    Ben Jabituya: I have seen some strange, bizarre drivers, but you. You will be awarded a cake.
    Ben Jabituya: Bimbo!
  • Better Off Dead: Monique: "He keeps putting his testicles all over me."
  • The Goonies was like Malapropers Gone Wild!, what with Data and his "booty traps" and Mikey "I guess we're in big shit now right?" Walsh, who definitely inherited it from his mom.
    Mrs. Walsh: Brandon, don't you dare come back without your brother, or I'm going to commit Hare Krishna!
    Brandon: That's hari kari, Ma!
    Mrs. Walsh: That is exactly what I said!note 
  • In the original 1960 The Little Shop of Horrors, Gravis Muschnik is asked if there's a Latin name for Audrey, Jr., and, since there isn't, writes it off by saying "Yeah, but who can denounce it?". Audrey (the person, not the plant), meanwhile, once mentions "cesarean salad".
  • In Flying Down to Rio has one line from Honey, referring how hard it is to find Belinha in Rio: "It's like finding a noodle in a haystack."
  • Back to the Future:
    • The trilogy is fond of these. Biff Tannen, such as, "Make like a tree, and get out of here." Apparently it runs in the family as his great-grandfather "Mad-Dog" Tannen also vows to hunt Marty down and shoot him like a "duck".
    • In the second film, Old Biff tells his younger self how stupid he sounds, telling him angrily what the "right" way to say the joke is. (As in "make like a tree and leave." He seems to be cured of this habit in the timeline that eventually comes to pass.)
    • This was also shown in the now-closed Universal Studios Orlando ride, where he trips a guard and tells him that he will "see [him] next winter", causing the guard to feebly correct him before passing out.
  • Last Action Hero. Vivaldi, who keeps mixing metaphors and getting idioms wrong, which finally gets him killed by an exasperated Benedict.
    Vivaldi: What is this? First you're my friend, now you turn a... 360 on me!
    Benedict: 180, you stupid spaghetti-slurping cretin! 180! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started!
    Vivaldi: Uh?
    Benedict: Trust me. [Blammo!]
  • In the beginning of The Specials, Strobe gives a speech about responsibility and peeing on hookers. Later, U.S. Bill is talking to a reporter, and mangles Strobe's speech: "When you see a little girl, I'm peeing on that girl!"
  • A frequent trademark of Chico Marx. Example, from Duck Soup:
    Prosecutor: Something must be done! War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes.
    Chicolini: Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
    Prosecutor: No, I'm talking about taxes — money, dollars!
    Chicolini: Dollars! There's-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!
  • The Boondock Saints:
    • Doc the bartender seems to have a combination of Tourette's and terminal malaproper.
      Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh-sh-ships.
      Rocco: Doc, I gotta buy you, like, a proverb book or something. This mix'n'match shit's gotta go.
      Doc: What?
      Connor: A penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?
      Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
    • In the sequel, Romeo seems to have this problem as well (i.e., "this ain't rocket surgery.")
  • In Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning, Emperor Pirk has problems with complicated words. Some examples:
    "Shut up! You're hurting the crew's moray!"
    "A fleet of warships was built with the combined resorts of the Earth."
    "Dammit, it's like sailing thru Jello. Info, condensate, do something!"
  • Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber likes to describe himself as having a "rapist wit". He also wanted to have "tea and strumpets".
  • Roman Moroni in Johnny Dangerously does this constantly for swear words, as a means of Minced Oath but presented as a quirk of his accent. Everyone else reacts as if he has used the actual terms.
    Roman Moroni: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes like yourselves.
  • In The Whole Ten Yards, the Hungarian mobster Lazlo Gogolak frequently confuses idioms, terms, and acronyms, such as telling his underlings not to drink before their road trip, lest he gets an "IUD" (which would be very awkward, and painful, to a guy). And he absolutely hates being corrected.
  • In Max Keeble's Big Move, Principal Jindraike does this when lecturing Max.
    Principal Jindraike:You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarkey, you're wrong, I don't encourage it, I excourage it.
    Max: Excourage?
    Principal Jindraike: It means the opposite of encourage, look it up.
    • Later in the movie, Max does this to Jindraike when he confronts him about stealing from the school budget.
      Principal Jindraike: You should be careful before slanderizing your principal's spotless reputation with wild and groundless claims.
      Max: They're not groundless, they're ground-full!
      Principal Jindraike: GROUND-FULL?!?
      Max: Look it up!
  • The Big Lebowski: The Dude wants us to know that Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man!
  • Several of the Tyler Perry films featuring Madea has her using malapropisms (justified as she is an elderly woman and not the brightest person, either). In Diary of a Mad Black Woman, when learning her granddaughter, Helen, signed a prenuptial agreement prior to marrying her now ex-husband:
    "Who told you to sign—I oughta punch you in the face! Who the hell told you to sign a renup?!"
    • And again in Madea's Family Reunion, when trying to help her foster daughter with her algebra homework before giving up on it:
    "I don't know nothin' about that Al Jarreau."
    • Leroy Brown, the father of Madea's daughter Cora, is even more egregious. For example, after his father's funeral in Meet the Browns, he refers to the "last will and testicles."
  • Bicentennial Man: One way Andrew is humanized is by having him get words wrong. He mistakes Swan Lake for Swine Lake and is confused by "throwing pearls before swans". Combined with his robotic Literal Mindedness, it's very comedic and keeps certain scenes from becoming too dramatic.
  • In Avengers: Infinity War, Tony is trying to get Drax and Mantis to listen in on his plan to how to deal with Thanos. When Peter Quill says that "not-winging it" is not what they do, Peter Parker asks just what it is they do. Mantis proudly proclaims "Kick names, take ass." with Drax replying "Yeah, that's right." Poor Tony has a Thousand-Yard Stare that just just screams him questioning all of his life's choices.
  • Rush Hour: During the first film, Carter tells Lee that in Los Angeles, "I'm Michael Jackson, you Tito.". In the second film, they're in Hong Kong, where Lee tries to echo Carter's comments, but says "In Hong Kong, I am Michael Jackson, you are Toto." instead, with Carter responding "You mean Tito! Toto was what we ate last night for dinner!".
  • Glass Onion: Throughout the film, Miles Bron frequently misuses and butchers common phrases and expressions (e.g. saying "infraction point" instead of "inflection point"), to the point of even getting basic facts wrong, but his smooth talking and confidence means no one around him seems to notice or call him out on it. In the film's climax, this specific habit ends up being the ultimate clue revealing that Miles is nowhere near as smart as he seems.
  • Tommy Boy: While meeting with a client, Tommy Callahan tries to use one of his father Big Tom's favorite sayings, "I could get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it.". However, Tommy screws up, saying "I could get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking my head up there, but wouldn't you rather take his word for it?". Towards the end, Tommy says it correctly, showing his growth into a worthy heir to the family business.
  • In Smokey and the Bandit, Sheriff Justice has chased the Bandit from Texas into Arkansas and is radioing all other officers to not interfere. When a county officer points out that Justice is out of his jurisdiction and him being a sheriff isn't germane to the situation, Justice splutters "The goddamn Germans got nothin' to do with it!"
  • Carlos from Are You Being Served?'s English is rather spotty, for example, he says "pentyhouse" and "tentyhouse" when he means to say "tent":
    Carlos: My English spelling so bad whenever I'm wanting tea, I'm having a pea.
  • Doctor... Series:
    • Doctor at Sea:
      • Colonel Porella calls Helene a "nightshirt" instead of a "nightingale".
      • After a long night of drinking, Archer says "chocked it" instead of "checked it".
    • Doctor in Clover:
      • The Sister accidentally calls Tweetypie a "patient" instead of a "parrot" when ordering Nurse Bancroft to remove him from Virtue Ward.
      • When Wendover complains of a coronary, he calls it a "corona".
  • Up Pompeii films:
    • Up Pompeii: When Lurcio and Scrubba discuss the scroll they have found:
      Scrubba: What's this, then? A rolling pin?
      Lurcio: "A rolling pin"? My poor, simple, ignorant girl, what does it look like? It's one of those symbols, isn' it? "Psychic".
      Scrubba: You mean "phallic"?
    • In Up the Front, Lurk accidentally says "infested" when he means "infected" while talking about the cut on his finger.

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