Parents Suck at Matchmaking

In the world of fiction, if there's one thing parents suck at, it's picking an ideal spouse for their kids.

For some reason, fictional parents are inclined to believe that anyone their kid picks for themselves is the sort of person they should stay far away from. And anyone they approve of as spouse material tends to be someone the kid feels, if anything, revulsion for. Maybe they're some dweeby loser who just screams social napalm. Maybe they're some smarmy douche who's more in love with themself than with their date. Or worse, maybe they're some manipulative sociopath who knows how to play the kid's parents like a violin and has some kind of ulterior motive for getting together with them.

In works of fiction aimed at teenagers, this is used to emphasize just how out of touch with things the parents are. They don't know what's good for their kid, and they don't trust them to make their own choices about what they want in life despite practically being adults already (even if, being teenagers, they aren't adults). If this is the case, then by the end of the work, the parents might eventually come around and realize that their kids are mature enough to choose their own paths in life, and eventually approve of their kid's choice.

Another common reason for bad matches is that the parent wants an Arranged Marriage for their child, and think money, status, Family Honor, or politics is the most important part of picking a spouse. If the parent is portrayed sympathetically, they may think the restrictions of their society mean the child is ultimately better off with the chosen spouse (especially if they believe in Marriage Before Romance), or try to comfort the princess who has to sacrifice her happiness by marrying a Jerkass prince to prevent a war.

Most people in the Western world believe that pressuring or forcing a child to date someone violates their personal freedom, so this type of story usually have the child rebelling and the parent's preferred suitor being rejected at the end (or, in less idealistic works, the child ending up stuck in an unhappy marriage). If the parent had a selfish reason for wanting the arranged marriage to go through, they've probably undergone Character Development and learn that their child's happiness is more important than riches (or, more rarely, the child will abandon the parent). If the marriage was intended to prevent some negative event, they'll likely Take a Third Option to avoid it. This often goes along with a Marry for Love message, with the child ultimately marrying the person they wanted, and the parent eventually approving of their kid's choice.

You rarely see examples of Good Parents trying to find a good spouse for their child and eventually succeeding. After all, a more benevolent take on Arranged Marriage that goes something like "Alice's parents decide to introduce her to potential suitors and allow her to turn down ones she's uncomfortable with" may be realistic, but it doesn't make for a very dramatic story, and a lot of viewers find the idea of parent-arranged matches unromantic. With that said, on rare occasions, the child will like the parent's chosen suitor or at least come around to them. In these cases, the work may be going for a pro-tradition message, or at least say that the more mature adults really do know best.

Overlaps with Parent-Preferred Suitor, though that's about the parents liking who they set their child up with. This trope is about the child not liking who their parents got for them for various reasons. Contrast Dating What Daddy Hates, with which this trope goes hand-in-hand, as both are about choosing who to date. See also Awful Wedded Life which is the outcome the child is trying to avoid. Contrast also Perfectly Arranged Marriage were the parent makes a good choice in a suitor who fits their kid. See also Career Versus Man, Fourth-Date Marriage, Starter Marriage, Settle for Sibling, and Unwanted Spouse. Contrast Marry for Love.

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• Fairy Tail: When Lucy Heartfilia returns home to confront her father Jude over his involvement with the guild war between Phantom Lord and the Fairy Tail guild, Jude reveals that he hired Phantom Lord to retrieve Lucy for an arranged marriage with Duke Sawarr Junnelle. Lucy, putting it mildly, is not interested in the slightest in marrying Sawarr, in fact she is understandably furious with Jude for setting her up in an arranged marriage in the first place without her consent. It certainly doesn't help that the one time Lucy does think about Sawarr in a flashback she is shown to feel uncomfortable in regard to his interest in her to say the least.
• Maya's Funeral Procession: Reina's greedy parents have arranged her marriage to her Childhood Friend Taku because of his riches. She likes him only as a brother, but neither he nor her parents accept that.
• Pokémon: Played for Black Comedy and Hilariously Abusive Childhood. When James was a kid, his snobby parents set him up with the psychotic Jessebelle because she was wealthy and would "educate" him to become a gentleman, not caring if she used violence. Jessebelle made James' life a living hell, trying to control everything James did, from the Pokémon he would have to the way he ran away from her. Even Ash's gang pitied on him when they met her.
• Ranma ½: Years ago, Genma Saotome and his old friend Soun Tendo agreed into marrying their children, so they would carry on Tendo's dojo. At present, Tendo's eldest daughters refuse to honor the commitment, especially because Ranma is cursed to occasionally turn into a girl, and the burden falls on their younger sister Akane. Neither she nor Ranma is happy with their forced engagement. Subverted at the end of the manga, when they eventually discover they love each other and decide to marry. Double-subverted that their marriage is disrupted by both Akane and Ranma's suitors whom Nabiki shamelessly invited to the party. Souna decides the marriage must be delayed until the couple settles down all their personal affairs.
• Renai Allergy: Years ago, Satoko ran away from her isolated countryside to escape from the sexual harassment of Takeru, a former class colleague. Her mother kept pestering her to return and find someone to marry; one day, she calls, telling a horrified Satoko that he found her a fiancée. Even worse, said fiancée is no one else than Takeru! Out of despair, she asks her boss, Taichi, to pretend they are engaged, so her parents will leave her alone. The latter are initially disappointed, but her mother eventually warms up to Taichi, who makes clear to Takeru that he'll not let him mess with Satoko anymore.
• Skip Beat!: A villainous example. Shou's parents want him to marry their foster daughter Kyoko, so the two will inherit their inn. Shou doesn't want any of this and goes to Tokyo to become a singer; however, he takes Kyoko with him because he knows she'll work hard to sustain him and act as his servant. Subverted later: long after Kyoko learned the truth and decided to become a star to get revenge for his abuse, Shou feels jealous because of her friendship with his rival Tsuruga Ren. He becomes a Stalker with a Crush.

Fan Works

• In War of the Mobians, Sonic and Sally are trying to set up their daughter, Princess Alyssa, with Gabriel D'Coolette, the son of Antoine and Bunnie. The thing is, she doesn't really like him in that way. She's right not to like him, as he only wants to marry Alyssa so he can be the king.

Films — Animation

• Antz: Princess Bala is not comfortable with her engagement to General Mandible, since they have nothing in common and her attempts to be amicable are met with indifference. Her mother, however, insists that, deep down, he cares about Bala because he was "very persistent" in asking her hand. It is revealed that the General cares only about Bala to spawn a new generation of ants after he drowns what he sees as "the weak elements of the colony" (read, the working class). The Queen ends up supporting her daughter against him after she learns about the genocidal monster he is.
• The Book of Life: General Posada coerces Maria into marrying the "hero" Joaquin because that would motivate him to stay in San Angel and protect it from the bandito Chakal. She still sees Joaquin as her Childhood Friend, and is also pretty annoyed at his superficiality and sexism; besides, she loves Manolo, who shares her misunderstood love for animals.
• Corpse Bride: Victor and Victoria are set up by their respective parents (Victor's want to become aristocrats through his marriage and Victoria's need money), but fall for each other at first sight. Played straight after Victor is abducted by Emily and Victoria's uncaring parents force her to marry Lord Barkis because he lied he was rich. When she learns he is a Gold Digger, she has at least the satisfaction of rubbing her parents' poverty on his face:
  Victoria: Well, perhaps in disappointment we are perfectly matched.
• The Lion King (1994): Zazu tells Simba and Nala that their parents will be thrilled when they'll learn the two are getting along so well since they are to be betrothed. Simba is disgusted and Nala comments it would be weird if they get married because they are just friends. Subverted when Nala reunites with Simba after his exile and the two find out they actually love each other.
• My Sweet Monster: Princess Barbara is betrothed in her sixteenth birtday to the repulsive mail clerk Weasel. Subverted because King Elijah doesn't want to do that, but he is blackmailed by Weasel, who stole the source of power of his inventions. Unaware of that, Barbara thinks that this is another way her father has found to put a leash on her; having had more than enough of his restraints, she escapes from the palace.
• Pocahontas: Chief Powhatan promises Pocahontas in marriage to his best warrior, Kocoum, although she doesn't like him because he is too stoic. In a scene, the chief decides to call Kocoum to "protect" Pocahontas while she is gathering corn, but it is obviously an excuse to push on her the unwanted fiancée. She huffs in annoyance.
• Strange Magic: At the very beginning of the movie Dagda sets up Marianne to marry Roland who she is happily in love with, at least until she catches him cheating on her in broad daylight, from then on she sees what a selfish person he is and wants nothing to do with him let alone get married to him, something her father Dagda ends up agreeing with near the end of the film.
  • Griselda keeps arranging girlfriends for her son Bog, in hopes of bringing love back to the goblin kingdom. He rejects all of them, but Griselda insists she won't give up. Fortunately, she approves when he falls in love with Marianne.
• The Swan Princess: Odette and Derek were betrothed when she was still a baby in order to unite their neighbouring kingdoms. Their parents forced them to spend every summer together, deaf to their children's protests and their obvious dislike of each other. Subverted when both eventually came to like each other when they became grown-ups but double subverted that Derek was unable to say what did he love in Odette besides her beauty. She firmly calls the marriage off and her father accepts the defeat gracefully.

Films — Live-Action

• Exaggerated for parody in Date Movie. The protagonist Julia is seeking love and eventually finds it with the kind (and wealthy) Grant Fockyerdoder. Unfortunately, her dad will only let her date someone of her ethnicity and thus she is only allowed to be with someone who is a Greek-Black-Indian-Japanese-Jewish person. While this is apparently more common-place than this sounds, he tries pairing her up with their handyman Nicky, who is portrayed as an unattractive slob who crassly rejects her over her appearance, only to later objectify her after she gets "pimped up."
• Oscar: "Spats" Provolone wants his daughter to marry socialite Bruce Underwood III. She thinks he's gross, and he has pimples. She's more enamored with the former chauffeur, the eponymous Oscar.
• Penelope (2006): Jessica presses Penelope on marrying Edward although her daughter clearly hates him because she thinks that the only way to break the spell is for Penelope to be accepted by someone of blue blood. After Penelope withdraws the marriage, Jessica bangs on her door and begs for her to reconsider, because she can't stand having a pig-faced daughter, never taking Penelope's feelings into account. Penelope finally snaps and tells her SHE likes herself the way she is, breaking the spell at last.
• The French comedy Serial Bad Weddings is about the parents of an upper-middle-class white French Catholic family where three of their daughters are married to a Muslim lawyer, a Jewish entrepreneur, and a Taoist Chinese-descended banker respectively. They're thrilled when they learn their last daughter is engaged to a Catholic, to the point of looking over the fact that he's a small-time stage actor... who of course turns out to be black. They attempt to present her with a "better" (rich and white) suitor, but he's so obviously nebbish and ugly she turns him down outright. The film does end on a happy note when it turns out the fiancé's father is just as reactionary as the fiancée's father, bonding over their shared admiration for France in the 50s under Charles de Gaulle.
• Shakespeare in Love: Viola is betrothed by her parents to the unsufferable Lord Wessex, who kisses her forcefully. She has no say in that because he gets permission from the Queen Elizabeth to marry her.
• Titanic (1997): Ruth De Witt Bukater presses her daughter Rose on marrying Caledon Hockley just for the sake of financial security, although Rose clearly hates Cal because he constantly underestimates her as a person.

Literature

• A Song of Ice and Fire: Prince Doran Martell arranges the marriages of his heir and eldest child, Arianne, to several old lords. Arianne isn't pleased with what he is doing and believes that he's trying to pass her inheritance to her brother, Quentyn, once she marries a lord from a lower house. Turns out Doran actually plans to betroth her to Viserys Targaryen, making her the future queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Though Viserys died unexpectedly before the plan could be fulfilled. Because of this, Quentyn takes his sister's place instead where he must woo Daenerys Targaryen, who is already married to someone else.
• Sword Art Online: Both of Asuna's parents attempt to arrange marriages for her with disastrous results.
  • While Asuna is trapped in SAO, her father Shouzou Yuuki betroths her to Nobuyuki Sugou in exchange for saving the Yuuki family from bankruptcy resulting from the legal shitstorm the incident caused in the real world. Unbeknownst to her father, 1) Asuna has already started a romance with Kirito in-game by this point, and 2) Sugou lusts after Asuna so much that he keeps her trapped in the network even after Kirito ends SAO, transferring her over to Alfheim Online to keep her for himself as his Fairy Queen.
  • The "Mother's Rosario" arc is kicked off by her mother Kyouko taking a crack at it. She dislikes Kirito largely for classist reasons and hopes to match Asuna with the son of a wealthy family. Asuna meets a couple at first but only has eyes for Kirito, and finally succeeds in talking her out of the idea after getting her to log into ALO's recreation of Aincrad to show her what she finds so compelling about the virtual worlds.
• Inverted in the Sidney Sheldon novel "Master Of The Game", when Rich Bitch Kate Blackwell tries to push her son towards a socialite. He gets fed up with her attempts at controlling his life and runs off with a lovely girl. It turns out that this is the girl his mother wanted him to marry, but she knew he wouldn't if she encouraged it.

Live-Action TV

• General Hospital's Tracy continually tried to set her son's up with women/girls who reminded her of her, overlooking that their tense relationship is precisely why they didn't want to date/marry someone like her.
• Gilmore Girls: A recurring point of contention between Lorelai and her mother, Emily, is Emily's repeated attempts to force her into a relationship with Christopher, her high school boyfriend and Rory's father. Lorelai is adamant that they aren't compatible, and the show would prove her right, but it doesn't stop Emily from pushing. It doesn't help that Chris is totally on board with it. Emily even goes so far as to invite Christopher to her and her husband's vow renewal, right after Lorelai has gotten together with Luke, in an attempt to sabotage that relationship.
• House of the Dragon: King Viserys loves his daughter Rhaenyra, but his preferred choices for the Princess's future consort have been rather lacking. Initially he tries to set up Rhaenyra with Jason Lannister, an arrogant Upper-Class Twit whom Rhaenyra despises from the get-go but one who belongs to a powerful House. He then allows her to select her own suitor, but when she takes too long he arranges a marriage with her cousin Laenor Velaryon from a different powerful House. While Rhaenyra and Laenor grew up together and are definitely friends, Laenor is a closeted homosexual who never sires any true heirs.
• Seinfeld: One episode of the series had Jerry dating a woman who was downright near-perfect in Jerry's view but for reasons that are unexplained, everybody else Jerry meets (the woman's parents, friends, and Jerry's friends) saw her as such a pathetic human being that Jerry was doing her a favor by dating her. Jerry spends the entire episode trying to find someone, anyone, who doesn't think she sucks, and finally finds it in his parents, who gush over her and see her as a perfect match for him. The romance ends for Jerry right then and there.
• The Twilight Zone (1959): Deconstructed in Spur Of The Moment. 18 years old Anne is not happy with the fiancée her parents arranged for her; an investment broker called Robert. He is a respectable man but stiff and insensitive to the scare she took at the beginning of the episode when an old, ugly woman persecuted her while she was riding her horse. She ends up eloping with David, her "true love", but he turns out to be abusive and bankrupts her family's estate through mismanagement, with Anne becoming an alcoholic to drown her disappointments. 25 years later, she is riding her horse in the same place she saw the hag when she suddenly spots a young woman riding meters away. Anne realizes in shock that the stranger is her younger self and SHE is the hag! Screaming in despair, she rides after young Anne, trying to warn her to not marry David, but all she does is scare her former self.
• In the opening of Willow, Queen Sorsha has arranged a marriage between her daughter, the Princess Kit, and Prince Graydon. Graydon's a perfectly nice boy, but he's also a nervous wimp, whereas Kit is a fearless tomboy who's also in love with her best friend Jade.

Manhwa

• Ebony: When Ebony was 18, Count Voineck betrothed her to Victor Sedell (a man he knew superficially, from his club) in order to produce a male heir for his properties. Victor revealed himself as a drunk brute, who tried to rape Ebony in front of his friends when they doubted her virginity. In a desperate attempt to escape from him, she ran to the cellar; he came after her, but Ebony was able to push him from the stairs, causing his death. When the count learned about that, he tried to make Ebony commit suicide to clean their family's honor, but she accidentally hurt his hands when she pushed his knife back on them. Horrified of what SHE had done, Ebony left him to get a doctor but, when they returned, he was dead. She was imprisoned for five years, accused of having murdered both.

Video Games

• In King's Quest VII: The Princeless Bride Queen Valanice thinks it's time for her daughter Princess Rosella to get married. One of the candidates that she favors the most is Prince Throckmorton, who Rosella dismisses as boring. Valanice tries to promote Throckmorton by citing his reliability. It doesn't work (and Throckmorton's hobby of conjugating Latin verbs can't be said to be a recommendation either).
• In the backstory of Nightmare Of The Snow, Yukiko is forced into an Arranged Marriage by her father Shouichi with local swordsman Haruto in order to keep the family going for another generation, and when she refuses, he locks her in the mansion dungeon until she agrees. Luckily, Haruto himself is such a Nice Guy that he refuses to let this happen and breaks her out, letting them run away to a farm together where they, ironically, actually fall in love (and further subverted as it turns out “Shouichi” was really his evil mirror self).
• In Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell, Jezebel allies herself with Johnny to keep her father Satan from forcing her to marry the President. However, her resistance is more because she wants to be free to find true love and not for specifically hating the President, who is stuck inside a crystal and unable to interact with anyone. Played more straight when Satan is impressed by Johnny's badassery and blackmails him to marry Jezebel instead. Neither of the two is happy with that (besides, Johnny still loves Aisha).

Web Animation

• Helluva Boss: In "The Circus", Paimon had arranged for his son Stolas to marry a princess named Stella in an Arranged Marriage. Stolas didn't like Stella at all and begins to cry when he saw a photo of her struggling animals.

Western Animation

• Avatar: The Last Airbender:
  • After defeating Katara, Pakku recognizes her necklace as the one he carved for Kanna - Katara and Sokka's grandmother - the girl he was in love with when they were young. Katara realizes that it was an arranged marriage and that her grandma didn't love Pakku, so she ran away to not submit to the North Tribe's patriarchal traditions. Subverted in the last season, when Pakku reveals he met Kanna again and this time she accepted his proposal.
  • Princess Yue was bound in an arranged marriage by her father to an egotistical warrior called Hahn. Since she doesn't love him, she runs away in tears when she hears Katara's constatation about her grandmother. Worse yet, Hahn obviously cares only about Yue's position, going as far as boasting to Sokka that "she came with more perks". Strangely enough, Chief Arnook notices how unhappy his daughter was and that she and Sokka love each other, but does nothing to cancel the marriage, maybe because it would be a great rupture of their customs.
• Bojack Horseman: Subverted. Beatrice Sugarman initially hates that her entire life has been laid out for her by her father Joseph, who sees her more as a business investment than a daughter. As part of an attempted business partnership with the Creamerman family, he tries to push Beatrice together with their son Corbin. At first, Beatrice hates this and runs after a delinquent named Butterscotch Horseman, the complete opposite of Corbin and the type of person her father would hate, with whom she enjoys a one-night stand and seems to really be attached. Then later, she starts to connect with Corbin and realizes they have a lot in common and that a marriage between them wouldn't be so bad, but unfortunately, she ends up pregnant from the one-night stand and ultimately is forced to marry Butterscotch, whom she increasingly grows to hate.
• The Critic: In one episode, Margo's parents attempt to set her up with a young man who's young, rich, and has literal blue blood. Margo asks him a question, to which he struggles to come up with an answer. She concludes he was rendered an idiot by inbreeding and rejects him.
• Gravity Falls: Mermando writes to Mabel telling her that he had to marry the Queen of the Manatees to prevent a civil war. His expression in the photo he sends to her makes clear how miserable he feels with his forced marriage.
• Harley Quinn (2019): When King Shark returns home, he finds out his father has arranged for him to marry Tabitha of the hammerheads. He doesn't actually want to marry her, and he makes this clear once he finds out Tabitha feels the same way. In the end though, they get married anyway, but agree to an open relationship.
• Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated: In "The Secret of Ghost Rig", Daphne's parents press her to "give a chance" to Rung Ladderton, who is apparently a rich heir. The guy comes late for their date, eats the salad Daphne ordered for herself then asks her to pay the bill because he forgot his wallet. It turns out he inherited a broken ladder company. He is the driver of the ghost truck as a façade to steal diamonds.
• Star vs. the Forces of Evil: Queen Solaria tried to set up her daughter Eclipsa with prince Shastacan for diplomatic reasons, although the girl hated his repellent personality. Unfortunately, the queen believed that she knew better and imposed the marriage in her will. Eclipsa complied, but couldn't stand Shastacan for much longer, leaving him to form a family with her true love Globgor.
• Winx Club: Sky is the crown prince of Eraklyon so his parents betrothed him to Diaspro, the princess of a vassal kingdom, since their births and hammered the idea on their heads to the point Diaspro becomes obsessed with the idea and Sky absolutely loathes it. Growing up, the pair is implied to have been good friends but Diaspro's classist and high-maintenance attitude prevents Sky from ever becoming romantically attracted to her. When Sky's true Love Interest, Bloom, appears on the scene, Diaspro becomes a Clingy Jealous Girl and even pulls a Face–Heel Turn when she fails to gain Sky's affections, which only serves to sever their bond. Meanwhile, Sky's parents don't accept Bloom until they learn she's a princess too. This doesn't make the situation a subversion, though, as Sky's preference for Bloom has nothing to do with her royal status but with her kindness and heroism.

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