Kissed Keepsake

A kiss from the one you love is a treasure to be cherished. Now, if only we could do something about the rest of his cheek.

"I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again."

— Fry, after being given a Smooch of Victory by Leela, Futurama, "Insane in the Mainframe"

Bob may have a Precocious Crush on older Alice. Or Alice may have a Celeb Crush on the famous Trope Troperson.

Either way, if the object of desire is particularly pleased, affectionate, or otherwise inclined, sometimes they'll give their admirer a kiss — or simply touch them. And the admirer will so treasure the moment and the memory that they want to keep the spot of the contact as it was at the moment forever — and that includes never washing it so as to avoid washing away the kiss (lipstick, etc). The Stock Phrase appears frequently enough to actually be its own trope. And when the "never washing it" declaration is taken to extremes, it almost always results in a Gross-Up Close-Up.

Sometimes the person is just saying it in dreamy-eyed appreciation. In other cases, they mean it literally, and will be seen days later, squeaky clean except for the kissed spot. Sometimes some wiseass will remind them that they seldom wash that part of their body anyhow, so it won't make much difference.

Of course, this trope is not strictly limited to a spot where someone has been kissed. It can be a touch, or a handshake, or just a spot where the person stood. The kiss is just the most well-known iteration.

It's also important to note that the recipient of the kiss usually thinks of the one kissing them as being a little out of their league, or else they hold them in such high esteem that a kiss is more like a divine bestowal than an actual kiss between people on the same romantic level.

Compare Signed with a Kiss, where someone receives a letter or a gift from someone else that is signed with a lipstick mark.

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• Ayakashi Triangle: After Matsuri uses Suzu's handkerchief to dry off his bare chest, she turns down his offer to have it cleaned before giving it back. Later that night, Suzu starts smelling it.
• Doraemon: In "The Connection Cap", Noby uses the Connection Cap to meet the celebrity actress Serra Ivy. She holds Noby's hands, and he is very flattered and exclaims that he'll never wash his hands again. Serra comments that doing that would be very unsanitary.
• Komi Can't Communicate: After having her hand kissed by Tadano, a flustered and excited Komi tells him she'll never wash it again. A confused Tadano just asks her to keep washing it.
• One Piece:
  • Oddly invoked in the Fishman Island arc. Devil Fruit abilities are negated by water. Captain Vander Decken, owner of the Mark-Mark Fruit can target any two objects, one per hand, from anywhere. These targets are stored in his ability's memory until the hand is washed. As part of his master plan, he touched the target of his affection around 10 years ago, and hasn't washed his hand since. No mean feat, considering he is the first Fishman to have a Devil Fruit, and lives underwater.
  • The Egghead arc provides a non-kiss example. When Vivi is shown in the Egghead arc, a female journalist who had lent her clothes is swooning over her in the background, mentally saying she'll never wash said clothes again.
• Sailor Moon has a simultaneous shot of Usagi kissing the pocket watch and Mamoru kissing the handkerchief.
• Tonari no Kashiwagi-san: After letting his crush Kotone wear the blazer for his winter uniform, Yuuta tries to keep his mom from washing it (she does so anyways).

Comic Strips

• In Mafalda, one strip starts with Mafalda giving her father Ángel a kiss on the cheek right before he shaves. The next panel has Ángel smiling happily - with one un-shaved spot on his face.

Films — Animation

• Parodied in Puss in Boots: The Last Wish. When Puss makes his entrance at the beginning of the film, he steps on a kid's face, and his father joyfully says they'll never wash it again.

Literature

• In the Discworld novel Jingo, Nobby says he'll never wash his hankerchief again, then blows his nose ("It still bends, see?")

Live-Action TV

• On The Brady Bunch, Marcia has this reaction after getting a kiss from Desi Arnaz, Jr.
• Alice (the '70s work com): Mel Sharples reacts this way when a famous person he admires visits his humble greasy spoon. He vows he will never wash the diner floor where his foot trod again. Waitress Vera quips, "You never wash it now."
• One episode of Family Ties sees Alex's nerdy best friend Skippy getting a kiss on the cheek from Mallory, on whom he's always had a crush. He says he'll never wash that cheek again, to which she replies, "Then you'll never get kissed again."
• An episode of Full House involves Steph having this reaction to a kiss from her Celeb Crush.
• Young Sheldon: In S3 E19, after Missy and Marcus hold hands, Connie wants to high-five Missy, but Missy won't let her.
• "Monk": Played with. In S1 E7, "Mr. Monk and the Other Woman", a woman with a strong resemblance to Adrian's beloved and dearly departed wife Trudy gives him a kiss goodbye on the lips . Sharona scrambles to get a wipe as per Monk's standard reaction to touching anyone. He holds the wipe, crumples it up, and tosses it back to Sharona unused. Monk being who he is, will absolutely wash his mouth and lips at some point but for him this is equivalent to "I'll never wash this spot again."
  • Enforced by Natalie in "Mr. Monk and the Birds and the Bees". Natalie's daughter Julie kisses Monk on the cheek in gratitude for some advice he gave her. Monk immediately demands a wipe but Natalie refuses to give him one, at least for a while.
  • In the 8th Season opener, "Mr. Monk's Favorite Show", the trope is played with. Monk shakes hands with his favorite actress. He wipes his hands, then puts the wipe in a zip lock bag to keep it.

Music

• The early sixties song "Ain't Gonna Wash for a Week", recorded most notably by Eddie Hodges and by the Brook Brothers.

Western Animation

• The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3: In "Kootie Pie Rocks," during a Milli Vanilli concert, King Koopa abducts the duo from the stage, and as they float away, a fan manages to briefly touch them, exclaiming "I'll never wash this hand again!"
• Lydia, disguised as a Femme Fatale (or perhaps a Femme Fatalized, considering), seductively pinches the ear of Beetlejuice. He privately declares, "I'll never wash this ear again — not that I ever did."
• Doug: At the end of the episode "Doug's Fair Lady," Patti Mayonnaise takes Doug's hand to help him off the ferris wheel, and afterwards Doug writes in his journal that he may never wash that hand again. But then Porkchop spills ice cream on his hand and he adds "Well, maybe this one time."
• Family Guy:
  • After a marriage counselor suggests that Peter and Lois start seeing other people, Peter looks up his old girlfriends, but all of them prove disastrous dates; one of them shows Peter her now rather grotesque hand that she hadn't washed in years after being kissed there, and the Stalker Shrine she built to the same object of obsession (Peter).
  • Another episode has Peter refusing to wash his hands after shaking it with someone in a Boo Berry costume. Eventually his hand grows so disgusting he spontaneously develops the ability shoot off the filth like Spider-Man, with tiny life even beginning to develop. When the guys trick him into getting his hand washed some of it flies off in a rocket ship.
• Parodied, as always, by Futurama: After Leela kisses Fry's cheek, he declares, "I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek again."
• The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy: After Eris is tricked into kissing Grim, he says he never washed his face before and won't start doing it now.
• Hey Arnold!: Helga, after Arnold hugs her.
  • "'It Girl'": Eugene, after Helga (currently famous as a supermodel) shoves him.
• Miraculous Ladybug: In "The Evillustrator", Adrien touches Marinette's shoulder, prompting her to say she'll never wash her coat again.
• Muppet Babies: Gonzo finally gets a kiss on the nose from a grateful Piggy and says he'll never wash it again. Mercifully, the show ends right there.
• My Life as a Teenage Robot: After meeting the Silver Shell and getting her metal body scorched by the blast of his jet boots, a love struck Jenny says she will never polish again.
• My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "The Secret of My Excess": Spike reacts this way to Rarity kissing him on the cheek... though he has said, "Eh, what does she know?" in response to Twilight warning him that he doesn't have a shot.
• The Simpsons:
  • A variant in "New Kid on the Block". Bart makes this declaration after Laura (the next-door neighbor girl whom he has a crush on) spat in his hand as part of a prank. He sticks with it until it's practically black and covered with band-aids and old gum, but decides to clean it after an attempt to touch Lisa causes his hand to get stuck on the dog's fur.
  • Another variant in "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson". After getting an inside look at the inner workings of MAD Magazine, Bart says in awe "I'll never wash these eyes again" (which in practice would mean never sleeping or blinking again).
• SpongeBob SquarePants: Pearl shakes hands with her (filthy) celebrity crush and swears to never wash the hand. Then Bubble Buddy comes along, shakes it, and the soap on him causes it to be sparkly clean, and Pearl bursts out sobbing.
• Teen Titans Go!: When Starfire kisses Robin's hand, he vows to never wash it again - this after he scolded the other Titans for their poor hygiene. After months of being unwashed, the hand falls off and comes to life, which Robin thinks is due to the power of Starfire's kiss. In reality, the hand went unwashed for so long it had become zombified, and was now after the Titans' brains.
• Vampirina: In "The Ghoul Guides Save the Day", Bob the Bigfoot autographs Edgar's shirt and Edgar says he'll never take it off again. His sister Poppy calls it "gross".

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