"Kiss the Cook" Apron

Patchy: What kind of pirate wears a hair net?
Potty: The same kind who wears a "Kiss the Cook" apron.
Patchy: Well, you'll never know, Potty. I might get lucky. You hear that, ladies? Patchy's available. Huh? [winks]
Potty: Now I feel sick.

— SpongeBob SquarePants, "Friend or Foe"

It's the neighborhood barbecue party. Everyone's having a good time, and at the center of it is the dad hosting everything, standing in front of a grill, cooking up hamburgers and hot dogs for eager guests. To complete the lighthearted and carefree atmosphere of the day, he wears an apron reading "Kiss the Cook" or "Kiss the Chef" as the ultimate sign of how relaxed and inviting he is.

The phrase is thought to originate from 1800s Italy, where giving a kiss to the cook was a sign of satisfaction with your meal. The phrase seemingly made the jump to apparel, most commonly aprons, in the 1950s, and is popular among cooks and chefs of all ages and genders even today.

With the design appearing so often in popular culture, media, and Real Life, it has evolved into Stock Parody, and is frequently spoofed and parodied.

Compare Fun T-Shirt.

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Examples:

Comic Strips

• The Far Side: A comic features a barbecue hosted by donkeys, with the cook wearing an apron that reads "Kick the Cook".
• The Fusco Brothers: As a recurring gag, Lance Fusco often wears an apron when he's in the kitchen that says "Goose the Chef."
• Garfield: A strip shows Jon wearing a "Kiss the Cook" apron. Garfield is then revealed to be wearing his own apron that reads "Feed the Cat".

Fan Works

• Cooking like a Bachelor: Ginny promises not to tell Fred and George that Ron was kissing Hermione if he wears an apron which reads "Kiss the cook but don't touch his buns" and has a picture of a bread basket on the bottom.
• Epic Wub Time: Musicians of Ponyville: Vinyl Scratch wears a "WUB THE COOK" apron while she washes the dishes with "wubs".
• Servant Shenanigans: Mentioned when Cu thinks that he should get one of these in pink to Supreme Chef Emiya just to see his reaction. A later chapter reveals that he did gift him the apron and even got him to wear it once.

Films — Animation

• Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker: The Joker shows Batman recordings of him torturing and brainwashing Robin. He frames the recordings like home movies, even donning a "Kiss the Cook" apron and pulling his torture equipment out of a faux grill to complete the sadistic scene. In deleted scenes, it instead said "Kill the Cook", but network executives found this too gruesome.

Films — Live-Action

• Casper Meets Wendy: Gabby, one of Wendy the witch's witless aunts (played by Shelly Duvall), wears a "Kiss the Cook" apron in the beginning of the film as she and her sisters brew up a potion to take revenge on the local paperboy.
• Eternals: Gilgamesh is reintroduced in the present day wearing one of these aprons which hilariously contrasts with Kingo's attempt to build him up as a feared and respected warrior for his documentary. Kingo's valet Karun claims he has the same apron when he sees Gilgamesh's.
• The Menu: As Margot is snooping around the evil Chef Slowik's private home office, she finds a photo of him long before he was a disgruntled upscale gourmet chef. In the picture he is working a fast food grill, while happily flipping burgers and wearing a "Kiss the Cook" apron.

Literature

• Dork Diaries: On Father's Day, a strapped-for-cash Nikki finds a bargain bin full of tacky aprons with slogans like "Kiss the Cook!," "When Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy!," and "My Dad Is the World's Greatest Cook!," which she buys for her dad as a Father's Day present. Later, she mentions that most of the letters on the apron were burned off in a barbecue accident and it now reads "My Dad eat s ook!"
• Percy Jackson and the Olympians: In The Battle of the Labyrinth, Geryon wears three aprons, one on each of his bodies, with one word of the phrase on each.
• Discworld
  • The Truth: Mr. Tulip, after killing a thief who tried to rob him and his partner Mr. Pin, acquires a barbecue set with a "Kill the Cook!!!" apron which he promptly dons - this is remarked upon by two other characters later in the book.
  • The Assassins' Guild Diary has a checklist of items new students should have, which states that any student whose Home Economics apron has an amusing slogan will be sent home.
• In Grass and Sky, the three trespassers show up to the baseball game in these aprons and drunkenly harass Timmi.
• In one of the Chakona Space stories, some pubescent Chakats buy their ship's cook a "Lick the Cook" apron.

Live-Action TV

• Lucifer: In the season one episode "Pops", Lucifer dons a dark blue apron reading "Kiss the Cook".
• Married... with Children: In the season four premiere "Hot off the Grill", Al Bundy wears an apron that reads "Kiss the Cook - Kill the Wife" while grilling at a Labor Day barbecue.
• Will & Grace: Jack buys a "Kiss the Cook" apron in the season four episode "Rules of Engagement". However, he apparently did not read what the apron actually said and was surprised when it said "cook", suggesting that he thought it said something much more vulgar.

Video Games

• Jazz 2: The title card for the Home-Cooked levels features the titular character wearing a green apron reading "Kiss the Cook" while grilling hot dogs - with some fiery results.
• Pac-Man World: A ghost emerges from a kitchen wearing an apron which reads "Chomp the Cook".

Web Animation

• RWBY: When preparing a protein drink for Pyrrha Nikos, Lie Ren wears a bright pink apron that bluntly reads "Please Do Nothing to the Cook", a parody of the usual apron message that symbolises his Savvy Guy, Energetic Girl relationship with his team partner and Childhood Friend, Nora Valkyrie.

Web Comics

• Grrl Power: The succubus Dabbler doesn't settle for merely kissing the cook. Her apron reads [blurred] the cook. The Rant clarifies that that's not censorship, it's literally a blob of pixels printed on her apron.
• Housepets!: When Wolf House holds a barbecue, Lucretia has an apron that says "Sniff the Cook".
• Nerd & Jock: Jock wears a "Kiss the Jock" apron when grilling in Episode 3.
• Sandra and Woo: Sandra's apron just says "The Cook".
• In this comic◊, a mother bat wears a “Scan the Cook” apron when cooking.

Web Videos

• Food Theory: Downplayed. In a portion of the 2021 episode "Food Theory: GrubHub Responded To My Theory...", MatPat advertises new Food Theory merchandise, including an apron. While the apron itself does not have "Kiss the Cook" or any variation of it on the product, MatPat shows a photo of himself wearing the apron in a sensual pose, with his voiceover saying "This thing screams 'Kiss the Cook' without even saying it".

Western Animation

• Big City Greens: In the season two episode "Urban Legend", Gramma has been scaring away neighbors, so Bill tries to smooth things over with a barbecue, making a point of wearing the "fun apron" that says "Look Who's Cookin'" under a hand pointing up.
• Fillmore!: The episode "Nappers Never Sleep" has them go to a suspect's house and their father answers the door with one. Later the suspect is chased through a clothes line where the only things hanging are more aprons.
• Futurama: It's implied that Fry has one when the gang first meet Nibbler.
  Leela: Hmm, he doesn't seem to be on the checklist.
  Bender: So you're saying we can cook him?
  Fry: Yeah, barbecue. I'll wear my hilarious apron.
  Leela: No. I don't care how hilarious your apron is.
• Johnny Bravo/What A Cartoon! Show: In the Pilot episode, Johnny Bravo dons a green apron reading "Kiss the Cook" as he flirtatiously prepares Mary the Zookeeper a deep-fried peanut butter and banana sandwich.
• Let's Go Luna!: In the season one episode "Turkish Delight", Leo's pet tortoise Mr. Wrinkles wears a bib that says "Kiss the Cook".
• Molly of Denali: In the season one episode "Picking Cloudberries", Walter wears an apron that says "Kiss me, I'm from Qyah".
• The Powerpuff Girls (1998): In the episode Him Diddle Riddle, the titular HIM wears such an apron while serving at his establishment, the Otto-Time Diner.
• Rick and Morty: In "Total Rickall" Rick wears an apron that reads "SUCK MY D__K". This is a parody of Vulgar Humor variants that say "KISS THE C__K". Both are Censored for Comedy, but Rick's really does not obscure anything.
• Rugrats: When he barbecues, Stu often wears an apron that says "Tip The Cook".
• She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: In the season five episode "Taking Control", Wrong Hordak comes across an apron with "Kiss the Cook" written in First Ones glyphs while helping Glimmer prepare dinner.
• SpongeBob SquarePants:
  • In the season one episode "Naughty Nautical Neighbors", Squidward wears an apron that says "Kiss the Squid".
  • In the season five episode "Friend or Foe", Patchy the Pirate wears a "Kiss the Cook" apron while working at a restaurant called "The Poop Deck". When his parrot Potty questions this, Patchy remarks that he might "get lucky" and turns to the camera, offering himself to the ladies in the audience.
  Potty: Now I'm gonna be sick!
• VeggieTales:
  • In "Minnesota Cuke and the Search for Sampson's Hairbrush", Mike Asparagus wears a white "Kiss the Cook" apron while grilling outdoors.
  • The cover to the tie-in CD "Bob And Larry's Backyard Party" has Larry don a "Kiss the Cuke" apron.

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