Don't Say Such Stupid Things!

Sobbing Man: It's just that... since my father died... I wish I could have told him-
Major Wadcock: (slaps) For God's sake, pull yourself together man! I lost 120 men and two toes in Malaya! You don't see me blubbing. Next!
Sobbing Man: Come to think of it, I am being rather self-indulgent.

— Major Wadcock's Counseling Service, Monkey Dust

During a tense situation, the protagonist starts berating himself: "I'm useless! It'd be better if I didn't exist!" then — SLAP! The older sister type (usually a Tsundere) tells him to get a hold of himself and yells, "Don't say such stupid things!"

She gives a speech about the people who love him, the reasons he really is important, and so on. This always seems to be just what he needs to gain the confidence to resolve the story.

If the title sounds dorky, it's because it's mirror-translated from Japanese (馬鹿なことを言うな, "bakana koto o iu na"). A more natural translation would be along the lines of "Don't be an idiot!"

If it's the forces of the universe telling a character this, it can result in It's a Wonderful Plot. For the softer version, see You Are Better Than You Think You Are.

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• Eyeshield 21: Sakuraba gets one of these (specifically a punch) from Takami in after ranting that he has wasted five years of his life on football and that he should just quit the team and stop making a mockery of himself.
• Inuyasha: Rin asks Sesshoumaru if he'll remember her after she dies, he recites this trope.
• Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch: Hanon and Rina give Lucia more than one of these speeches.
• This speech, almost to the word, was the climax of one episode of Rozen Maiden; it was delivered to the protagonist, a Hikikomori named Jun, by his sister.
• Black Butler: While affected by the werewolves curse a poisonous gas inadvertently created by Sieglinde Ciel is reverted to a terrified child and tells Finny, the only person he allows near him at the time, that he isn't worth saving. This leads Finny into a big speech on why he shouldn't say things like that, since if it wasn't for Ciel Finny wouldn't be there.
• In Toradora! after snapping at Yasuko about her being the source of his failures, Ryuji later calms down and admits to Taiga that it is actually the opposite: Ryuji has always thought that if he had never been born, Yasuko would have finished high school and have a better life. Taiga immediately goes off on him for saying such a thing. In fact she gets a little too upset at him, and almost grants his wish, sending him over into the river.
• Neon Genesis Evangelion: Shinji Ikari gets a variation of this from Misato in. It's subverted unpleasantly, the first time, in that Shinji is moping after killing Kaworu, and Misato tells him that people with low survival drives don't live for long and that Shinji did the right thing. However it makes him feel worse. The verbal chastising that she gave him in End of Evangelion was spot on, though. It actually managed to get him moving again for the moment.
• Chrono Crusade: After Chrono suffers from a Heroic BSoD in the manga, he forces himself into a coma to keep from draining any more of Rosette's life. Rosette dives into his soul to follow him and convince him to come back. When she finds him, he insists that he can't continue on because she'll die because of their contract—she then slaps her hands on his face and gives him a speech about dealing with regret, and saying that she doesn't want him to be alone because of his fear of hurting her. The speech brings them closer to becoming an Official Couple, and gives Chrono the courage he needs to continue.
• Bleach: Rukia and Ichigo fit this trope perfectly; should Ichigo be struck by a Heroic BSoD, Rukia will knock his fighting will back into him, literally and figuratively.
• Now and Then, Here and There: This is switched around with Sara and Shu when Sara tries to kill herself when she finds out that she's pregnant. When she says that it would be better off if she didn't exist, Shu slaps her and basically says not to say such stupid things.
• Negima! Magister Negi Magi: Negi tends to get a lot of these from Asuna, especially during the festival arc when he's angsting over Chao or when Fate messes with his head. Even Yue and Chisame gave him one over Chao.
• Digimon Adventure 02: When Daisuke finds out Ken is trying to invoke Redemption Equals Death via Heroic Sacrifice, he slaps Ken and demands that he stop and think about the people who would be saddened by his death.
• In Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A's, Chrono says this when Fate starts questioning if she even qualifies as human.

Fan Works

• From A Growing Affection: No physical violence is involved, but Hinata gives one of these to Naruto when he suggests everyone would be better off if he had just run off to live in the mountains years ago.
• In chapter 4 of the Tokyo Mew Mew fic woof woof power, Lettuce calls herself a freak, and Otachi disagrees.
• Done in Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series when Yugi is moping that for supposedly being the title character, he doesn't play a big part in the show itself:
  Yugi: Face it, I'm as irrelevant to this story as Bakura.
  The Pharaoh: [disproportionately horrified] Don't say that! Don't even think it!
• In Neither a Bird nor a Plane, it's Deku!, Izuku apologizes for not going through Epiphany Therapy when it came for him to fight Bakugou in the Heroes vs. Villains exercise. All Might calls him an idiot for thinking he could get over ten years of trauma over a single year and assures him that it's his desire to improve that matters.
  Izuku: I'm sorry. I know that I should have been better than this after everything we did last year, and I thought I was, but when I actually had to fight Kacchan, it felt like I was back at square one. I don't understand why that happened—
  All Might: That's exactly what I wanted to address, and with just one simple question: are you an idiot?
  Izuku: [thoroughly baffled] What?
  All Might: Did you think your problems were something that could just vanish so easily? You've had to deal with this for ten years, so how could they be completely dealt with in just one? If a person's problems were so easily manageable, then I never would have suffered my injury! So don't get too down in the dumps over it! If the Symbol of Peace is in the same boat as you, then there's no reason to be so hard on yourself, right? Plus, the fact that you want to get better so badly? All that says is that you're just as human as the rest of us.
• Kingdom Hearts Ψ: The Seeker of Darkness: in Land of Oblivion, Aqua reveals to Kairi and Naminé that she blames herself for a lot of Xehanort's actions because of her mistakes in Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep, in particular her decision to save Terra's possessed body from the Realm of Darkness.
  Aqua: …I won the fight. The darkness started to swallow Terra. I dived in after him, caught up with him, but only had the strength to save one of us. I sent my armour out with him, and became trapped in the Realm of Darkness. And because of that… because of me…
  Naminé: (slaps her. Aqua looks at her in confusion and mild pain) You are not responsible for Xehanort's actions.
  Aqua: But I–
  Naminé: You are not responsible for Xemnas's actions. You are not responsible for either Ansem's actions. You are not responsible for what happened after you were lost to darkness.
  Aqua: If I hadn't saved him from falling into darkness, we wouldn't be here right now!
  Naminé: Well, too bad! You did! You tried to save your friend! Wow, look at how horrible you are! Tell me this, Aqua. Is Terra gone forever?
  Aqua: What?
  Naminé: Is Terra gone forever? Was Xehanort right, in that memory? Was his heart extinguished by darkness?
  Aqua: (whispering) No…
  Naminé: I can't hear you!
  Aqua: No! He's alive! He's fighting! He's still in there and he's been fighting for twelve years!
  Naminé (Beat) So it wasn't pointless. You did save Terra, at least partially.

Films — Animation

• Used at the end of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. As he lays dying, Beast says that perhaps it's better that things turned out the way they did. Belle starts to cry and tells him "Don't talk like that!"
• In The Prince of Egypt, Moses immediately demurs when God chooses him to save the Israelites. God's response is along the lines of "I am the Creator of everything there is and you are questioning My judgment?!" Then He reassures Moses that he'll have God at his side.

Films — Live-Action

• In Walk the Line, when Johnny Cash is fighting his pill addiction and depression:
  Johnny Cash: What have I done? Just hurt everybody I know. I know I've hurt you. I'm nothin'.
  June Carter: You're not nothin'. You are not nothin'. You're a good man, and God has given you a second chance to make things right, John. This is your chance, honey.
• There is an interesting version of the trope in Lawrence of Arabia. "All right, all right, I am exceptional."
• Parodied in Mystery Men. Mr. Furious has a crisis of faith right before the big battle. They attempt to remind him of the time he lifted a bus. He explains that he didn't lift the bus, he really pushed it while the driver had his foot on the gas pedal. Then they flip the switch and deliberately insult him to get him angry ("Your penmanship is atrocious!"). That doesn't work either so they give up and just drag him to the big battle.

Literature

• Journey to Chaos: During the climax of A Mage's Power, Eric is suffering greater self-esteem problems than usual due to Dengel's Grand Theft Me so Kasile shouts him down by reminding him of all the amazing things he's done on his own.
  Kasile: Eric! Listen to me! You can overcome Dengel!
  Eric: No, I—
  Kasile: Yes, you can! The synchronization worked both ways! I saw you challenge Laharg. I saw you save your team from the Xethras and perform element fusion to guide them out of the Yacian Caverns. Dengel never did that at your age! I saw you overcome the trials of the Altar of Rebirth with only your wits and tools. Did Dengel win all those bouts in the tournament? No! And when I need someone to talk to, I would pick you over Dengel any day. He's just a walking encyclopedia! You can beat him!
• Towards the end of The Last Graduate, Hunter of Monsters Orion Lake confesses to his (recently rather confirmed) girlfriend El Higgins that he recognizes his fixation on battling monsters and draining their mana as creepy. El immediately orders him to shut his bloody mouth and tells him how she feels he measures up against the benchmarks she has developed for the concept.
  "I've seen creepy, Lake; I've been inside creepy, and you're nothing like."

Live-Action TV

• In Smallville, "Apocalypse", a heartwarming one between Clark and Chloe.
  Clark: Ever since I arrived, all I brought is death and suffering, meteor freaks, phantoms. And Brainiac.
  Chloe: Clark, you've done so much good. You can't blame yourself for all the bad in the world.
  Clark: It's not blame, Chloe. I'm taking responsibility for all the lives that I've ruined... including Lana's.
  Chloe: Clark, this is not the time to be stubborn, okay? Don't do this. We need you! I need you!
  Clark: This planet will be better off if I never existed.
• A lovely one occurs between River and the Doctor in the Doctor Who episode "The Wedding of River Song". When River tells The Doctor that she sent out a distress beacon to rally help for the him, he insists that no-one would care that he was going to die. He is very wrong.
  River: The sky is full of a million million voices, saying, "Yes of course. We'll help." You've touched so many lives, saved so many people. Did you think when your time came you'd really have to do more than just ask? You've decided that the universe is better off without you. But the universe doesn't agree.
  The Doctor: River, no one can help me. A fixed point has been altered. Time is disintegrating.
  River: I can't let you die—
  The Doctor: But I have to die!
  River: Shut up! I can't let you without knowing you are loved. By so many and so much. And by no one more than me.

Newspaper Comics

• From a 1951 Peanuts strip:
  Charlie Brown: I'm a useless sort of guy! I'm a lazy good-for-nothing!
  Patty: (with a resounding slap) You can't talk that way about Charlie Brown!
  Charlie Brown: (sitting stunned on the floor) What loyalty!

Myth & Religion

• This happens in Exodus 4:10-12 where Moses refuses to take the Israelites out of Egypt because he isn't an eloquent speaker. God loses His temper and says this to him:
  God: Who gives man a mouth? Who makes a man dumb or deaf, gives sight or makes blind? Is it not I, Yahweh? Now go, I shall help you speak and instruct you what to say.

Theater

• A variation: in the penultimate scene of The Music Man, Winthrop says to admitted con man Harold Hill, "I with you'd never come to River Thity!" Marian gently says, "No you don't, Winthrop," and goes into a touching speech about all the difference it made.
• The final scene of Bells Are Ringing:
  Jeff: All right—Mel—Ella—Mom—whatever your name is. I love you!
  Ella: But you can't! I tricked you!
  Jeff: Pretty shabby trick — saving a man's life!
  Ella: But — all that intuition stuff. I was just telling you what you told Mom. I'm nothing.
  Jeff: Don't you call Mom "nothing." I loved talking to her. She was warm, sympathetic, understanding, wise.

Video Games

• Tales of the Abyss: This happens to Luke about every five minutes in the latter half of the game because of his Guilt Complex. In fact, it happens every time he opens his mouth — barring the punching, which only happens once. It's unfortunately deconstructed as, as well-intentioned his friends are, they aren't actually addressing the various reasons why Luke is like this, just telling him to stop without explaining why.
• Final Fantasy IV: Rosa gives Cecil one of these during a My God, What Have I Done? moment.
• Final Fantasy VIII: Rinoa gives Squall one of these (as long as you play the specific scene correctly).
• Final Fantasy XIII has Sazh's infamous "You think you die and that's that? You think you die and everything will be sugar and rainbows?" speech, which is in response to Vanille demanding Sazh kill her due to feeling guilty for his son's crystallization. Sazh brushes off that request because he knows that will solve nothing. Ironically, he comes close to the edge himself afterwards, but doesn't pull the trigger.
• Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories:
  • Yukimaru spends a great deal of time trying to commit suicide for various failures, with the rest of the characters having to continually talk her out of it. It's Played for laughs.
  • There's Rozalin's pleas to Adell to kill her if her Superpowered Evil Side shows up again. Adell has none of it.
• Advance Wars: Dual Strike: Sami to Eagle, if both are chosen for the final campaign mission when Eagle worries about one or both of them not getting out of it alive:
  Sami: Oh, no, you don't! Stop it right there! If two people make a promise like that, one of them is going to end up dead! [...] Save the promises for later, OK?
• Neverwinter Nights: The dialogue in the first chapter of the fan-made continuation to the original campaign entitled Aribeth's Redemption consists almost exclusively of Aribeth telling the player to leave her alone and let her commit suicide; the player has no option but to respond with this trope.
• Resonance of Fate's bridge scene. While this seems to end on a rather poor note, in the next scene Zephyr has decided that he has to live long enough to make Leanne happy, at least. (Which leads into a very sudden mood swing into a touching scene or hilarious moment, depending on your view.
  Zephyr: Leanne... why?...
  Leanne: You IDIOT! You WANTED to die, DIDN'T YOU?
  Zephyr: ...Wouldn't it be better that way? I SHOULD be dead!
  Leanne: You THINK that can make up for what you did? NOT EVEN CLOSE!
  Leanne: ...If you're going to die... at least die with courage.
  Zephyr: Why am I... why am I even alive?
  Leanne: If you hadn't been here, I'D be dead. Isn't that enough?...
• Shadow the Hedgehog: An unsuccessful attempt (fortunately, it's only one of 10 Multiple Endings, not including the Golden Ending):
  Shadow: I am Shadow the Hedgehog. A research experiment... gone deadly wrong! I've caused so much destruction... I should never have been created! This is who I am.
  Vector: Hey... don't go there... yet! Things may not be what they seem. You could be...
  [Shadow walks off without listening to him]
• Sonic the Hedgehog is more successful in Sonic and the Black Knight. After being defeated by him, Sir Gawain (played by Knuckles) claims he has been dishonored and tries to kill himself as a result, but Sonic has none of it.
  Sonic: Gimme a break! What's up with all this drama?!
  Gawain: Silence! Silence, I say! A Knight who fails their king is unfit to live!
  Sonic: Isn't there more to being a knight than just serving a king?

Visual Novels

• Fate/stay night: At one point in UBW route, Tohsaka declares she will quit their partnership if Shirou continues talking about his ideal without anything to back it up or a reason he wants to save everyone and calls him delusional. He doesn't take back anything he said and even talks a little more about it, but she can't hold it against him because at least he recognized how distorted his ideal is.

Web Animation

• In the final episode of Arby 'n' the Chief, there's this rougher exchange between Arbiter and Claire, whom after Arbiter had banned coldly after meeting up with her for the first time in 2 months.
  Arbiter: I have no means of offering anything of true substance to the world, even if I had something to give. I just feel like I'm done. Ready to check out.
  Claire: You can go ahead and stuff that crock of shit up your ass...
  [...]
  Arbiter: Besides, I don't deserve friends.
  Claire: Fuck off. Everybody deserves friends... Certainly you!

Webcomics

• In Joe vs. Elan School, while Joe is on the run from the titular school, he is picked up hitchhiking by a Vietnam veteran, and the two exchange stories. After hearing a story about the Vietcong's psychological warfare, Joe quietly says that it made his experiences at Elan seem like nothing by comparison. The man calls him out on this, and is probably the first person to ever tell Joe that Elan's abuse was unequivocally wrong.
  Casey: HEY! Bullshit. You stop with that! Stop with that bull. Listen boy! And you listen good! Don't you never let nobody tell you that you can't be sad 'cause some bonehead somewhere else has been sadder. That's stupid. That's dumb as saying you can't be happy 'cause someone, somewhere else has been more happy. It ain't no contest, Joe, and don't you never forget that. Never. I heard your story and you were wronged, boy. And them feelings you feel, they ain't wrong, okay? They ain't wrong.

Web Original

• In Twig, when Lillian is panicking during her field surgery for the mortally wounded Mary, but Sylvester provides motivation:
  Sy: You're being a wuss. You know what Gordon keeps telling me? Every time I lose a fight, which I do a lot? You have to make a move, or the world will move against you. Take action, be brave, and leave no doubt that you exist. There's too many people for any of us to fall into the background. Above all, trust your instincts, because you're better than you think. You are better than you think, Lil, and I'm saying that as the person who was your biggest critic, back in the day. You've started fixing her up, you've patched up the holes, best I can figure it out, now stop making excuses and get to work, you wuss. She's supposed to be your best friend.
  Lillian: If you're implying—
  Sy: I'm implying! If you wimp out on this and you let Mary die, then I'm going to forgive you... eventually. We all are. Crap happens! But you? I know people and I know you, and I know that your fears drive and define you. If you give up here, you will never find your way back from it to become a proper doctor, and you are never, ever, ever going to forgive yourself for it.

Western Animation

• Danny Phantom: Danny's Cool Big Sis Jazz gets an epic version of this combined with Pre Ass Kicking One Liner after Danny is prodded into angst by Spectra in "My Brother's Keeper"-
  Jazz: Excuse me. I don't know this kid, but I hope it's okay if he gets a second opinion. [lays the smackdown on Spectra]
• The Powerpuff Girls (1998) episode "Nuthin' Special" has Buttercup sulking because all her attempts at finding a special power are continually duplicated by her sisters.
  Buttercup: Huh! Forget it. I ain't got no special powers... I ain't special.
  Blossom: [tenderly] Aw, Buttercup. You may not have a special power...
  Bubbles: But you're still special.
• Kim Possible: So the Drama: Ron gives Kim this speech when Kim is about to be dragged into the Despair Event Horizon:
  Kim: I—I've got nothing.
  Ron: First, that's my line and second, that's quitter talk!
  Kim: Drakken won. I should have stuck with baby-sitting.
  Ron: Drakken did not win, Drakken played you, and now it's payback time!
• The Owl House: A gentler version occurs in the Grand Finale between Luz and The Titan. By this point, the Trauma Conga Line Luz has been through left her believing that all her efforts have made the Boiling Isles worse and flat out asks whether she and Belos are really that different in their motivations. The Titan responds with a Flat "What", then explains why and how Luz's motives differ from Belos.

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