Casual Crucifixion

"Clark, they left you tied to a stake in the middle of a field. Even the Romans saved that for special occasions."

— Lex Luthor, Smallville

Being crucified is probably the worst way of being executed. There are many different ways to go about it, but two main ones are typically depicted in media.

The most popular (due to a certain carpenter) involves nailing a person to a cross, simple post, or other such object. Depending on exactly how the person is nailed to the cross, their weight may be supported by hands (or wrists), feet, or both, and some crosses may have included accessories (footrests to stand on, a saddle to sit on, or a sharpened spike pointed at the victim's crotch) to take some of the victim's weight, thus increasing the length of time before death (and thus, the victim's suffering).

Binding a victim to the cross instead of nailing them may be considered even less humane. You don't permanently maim their hands and feet, but the victim does not now have to contend with blood loss, possible infection or blood poisoning, and the pain of being nailed, meaning they can theoretically last much longer.

Asphyxiation may be the most common cause of death from crucifixion. Since the victim's weight is supported by their nails or bonds, they are fighting against their own body weight to breathe. Using the bonds or nails as leverage can alleviate this problem, but sooner or later strength and endurance will run out. The strain can also cause myriad other cardio-pulmonary problems. Additionally, exposure, dehydration, malnutrition, and even animal predation are potential causes of death. Even if a person is rescued from crucifixion before they perish, their lives are in grave peril, recovery will be long and difficult, and they may never heal completely, especially if those pesky gigantic nails were involved.

But in the land of fiction, a character removed from a cross while they're still breathing will be a-okay not long afterward. They'll need a lot of water, something to eat, maybe some rough bandages over the massive bleeding holes in their hands, and a good night's sleep, but they'll be right as rain the next day.

Subtrope of Hollywood Healing. The "nails" variant can be related to Only a Flesh Wound, despite the hands, wrists, and feet being some of the least fleshy parts of the human body.

If the crucifixion itself is done "casually," i.e. it seems an extreme punishment for the crime committed, that's Felony Misdemeanor and/or Disproportionate Retribution.

Frequently overlaps with Crucified Hero Shot.

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• My-HiME: Natsuki is tied in a crucified position thrice. First by the android Miyu, though they intended for the mothlike "Vampire" Orphan to finish her off. Then she's crucified by her Arch-Enemy Nao, right after Nao caused her to have a bike crash. Nao suspends her by her Child, Julia's webs and prepares to gouge Natsuki's eye out. But Natsuki is rescued by Shizuru, who had secretly been helping Natsuki all this time. A couple of days later, Natsuki returns to her apartment only to find Nao waiting for her and is once again crucified in Julia's webs. And, again, she's rescued by Shizuru, whom Nao wanted to lure out with Natsuki as the bait. She suffers no apparent injuries from any of this treatment, although in the second case, she is injured from the bike crash and has to recuperate under Shizuru's care.

Comic Books

• In New Mutants, Magma gets crucified, but her friends manage to get to her in time, and while she has her hands bandaged for a while, she otherwise seems to suffer no lasting effects.

Films — Live-Action

• Averted, surprisingly, in Conan the Barbarian (1982) (because if you'd expect this trope to apply to anyone, it'd be Conan). His crucifixion is of both the binding and nails-in-wrists variety, and he's implied to survive far longer than anyone else could in his position, but he still very nearly dies after being rescued. It's implied Valeria has to trade her life for his in order for Conan to survive and recover, with the Wizard of the Mounds using some rather dark magic to bring Conan back, but the spirits demand a price.
• About two-thirds of the way through Cyborg, Fender's post apocalyptic pirate gang manages to overwhelm and capture Gibson. Fender orders that Gibson be crucified, complete with large metal spikes going directly through his wrists. After Gibson is set free, he apparently makes a complete recovery and has full strength and range of motion, and the only acknowledgement of the injury is a shot of small, circular white scars on his wrist when he removes some bandages covering the wound. This remarkable recovery happens over the course of no more than a few days with no advanced medical treatment.
• In Monty Python's Life of Brian, the characters treat crucifixion as more of a minor annoyance than anything, and Brian keeps hoping someone will come and rescue him. The other crucifixion victims cheer him up with a rousing chorus of "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life." Of course, this is strongly played for Black Comedy.
• Zig-Zagged in War for the Planet of the Apes. Alpha-Omega binds apes to St. Andrew's crosses (x-shaped) as a method of warning and execution. Caesar finds one such ape still alive and cuts him down, but the ape lives only long enough to pass on some important information. Later, Caesar himself is crucified in this manner for a day or two, and is visibly weak and suffering. He may not have survived the night if Nova hadn't snuck him food and water. Caesar is then fit enough to participate in the film's climax, though it's implied his time on the cross may have contributed to his death at the end of the film.

Literature

• The Belgariad: After the Alorns defeat the Bear-Cult at Jarviksholm in Guardians of the West, the Drasnian intelligence chief Javelin crucifies several cultists and his own niece Liselle at the same time. He wants to plant Liselle as a spy in the cult's ranks and is counting on some escaped cultists to rescue her and the other victims. The plan succeeds, but the whole affair is treated very casually as if there was never any risk of serious injury or death to the people being crucified, and Liselle is totally unharmed by the experience.
• Conan the Barbarian: The most famous scene in A Witch Shall Be Born (which also inspired the scene in the 1982 film) sees Conan crucified in the desert, nailed to a cross by his hands and feet. When the desert nomads find him after he's already been hanging for hours in the hot sun the nomad chief, declaring "If he's worthy to ride with me he'll survive," has his men chop the cross down like a tree. Then after Conan somehow survives the fall and they've pulled the nails out, they immediately make him get on a horse and ride the ten miles back to their camp. Conan next appears in the story seven months later, fully recovered with no permanent injuries, just a few scars.

Live-Action TV

• Played straight when Dorothy Gale of Emerald City first encounters Lucas (the show's counterpart of the brainless Scarecrow) — he's been bound to a T-shaped post and left to die by the Wizard's Guard. After she cuts him down and dresses his wounds, he makes a complete recovery and is soon able to run, sneak, and swing a sword as if nothing ever happened. This version of Dorothy Gale might be a trained nurse, but Lucas' recovery is nothing short of miraculous.
• Clark is basically crucified in the first episode of Smallville as part of Smallville High's yearly "Scarecrow" hazing prank, and Lex Luthor (on friendly terms with Clark at this point) shows up to rescue him. Of course, Clark was only in this position because he was made to wear Lana's Kryptonite necklace, and Lex unknowingly dislodges it during the rescue. Once it's off, Clark switches right back to being, well, Clark.
• Averted in Spartacus: Blood and Sand. Agron is rescued from being crucified partway through, but the nail driven into his hand makes his sword arm useless.
• Vikings: In Season 2, Athelstan is crucified as an apostate. He's only on the cross for a few minutes before King Ecbert orders him cut down. He spends some time afterwards hobbling with a crutch, but after an undisclosed period of time is back to illuminating manuscripts with no hint that the nails in his hands have affected his ability to do so.
• X-Play segment "The Passion of the Christ 2: Judgment Day'', during the Crucifixion. Instead of dying on the cross, Jesus rips out the spikes holding his hands to the cross, gets down, and slaughters two Roman soldiers. In the next scene, he is shown with no injuries on his hands.
• The Young Ones: Played for Laughs regarding some of Neil's many unsuccessful suicide attempts, which inexplicably cause him no lasting harm:
  "[Crucifixion]'s a really negative way to kill yourself, like, I've tried it hundreds of times, there's no way you can hammer in the last nail..."

Video Games

• In Assassin's Creed Origins, Bayek is strung up on a cross by the Roman soldiers and left to roast in the hot desert sun for days. He doesn't have the strength to break the ties and get down, but once one of the Hidden Ones slices the rope and releases him, Bayek has the strength and agility to engage in a 3-on-1 knife fight and then immediately return to the city to take on the entire guard of the municipality governor who betrayed him.
• Conan Exiles:
  • In the intro trailer, Conan himself rescues Razma of Shem from crucifixion (bondage variant). Despite however long she was on that cross in that desert waiting to die, she's ready to spring to Conan's aid with the axe he used to cut her down.
  • In the game proper, Conan rescues your Player Character from the nails-in-the-hands variant. One exhaustion-and-sandstorm-induced episode of unconsciousness later, and you're fit to run, jump, climb, grab stones, strip bushes, weave clothes, make axes, chop down trees, and beat animals to death with your bare hands (though this is inadvisable, you should make a weapon first).
• Zigzagged in Fallout: New Vegas. Attempting to free most characters who are being crucified by Caesar's Legion (who use the binding method instead of nailing them to the cross) is met with a notice that because they're already near death, cutting them down will kill them, preventing players from doing so. The exception to this is the "Aba Daba Honeymoon" sidequest, where players have the option of freeing a crucified drug mule. If freed, he doesn't make a full recovery (becoming one of the only characters in the game to walk with a permanent limp), but he somehow manages to cross most of the Mojave Wasteland alone and on foot immediately after his rescue.
• Downplayed in Outlast 2. The Player Character Blake is captured by the Scalled, and in their disease-wracked minds, they see him as a Jesus-like figure, to the point of crucifying him, with nails and all. Blake feels every bit of the pain of those nails driven into his hands, and while he's able to escape, it's very apparent how much it's harmed his hands, to the point he needs to bandage them. Not to mention all the diseases and other nasty stuff he's likely picked up thanks to the Scalled, which don't help. It's very likely he'll die from both his injuries and the unclean environment, but it doesn't happen in gameplay.
• In Persona3, the party, sans Aigis and Koromaru, ends up being crucified and bound to crosses after Ikutsuki betrays the group and plans to sacrifice them to Nyx, but are freed and unharmed when Aigis shoots the restraints.
• The You Testament: This is zig-zagged, as normally the in-game punishment of crucifixion is a death sentence. Meditating while on the cross, however, will allow the character to leave with little damage... except of course for the two large spikes still in their wrists, which don't seem to affect the heart meter at all and will eventually go away as the game proceeds.

Western Animation

• Samurai Jack: In the two-parter showing Aku's origins, it's shown that he tied Jack's father to a tree by the wrists and forced him to watch as his kingdom burned. But he was none the worse for wear once Sleipnir came to free him.
• South Park: In "Spontaneous Combustion", a series of hilarious misunderstandings leads to the kids tying Cartman to a cross for a Passion play and forgetting him there for three weeks. He survives thanks to his body fat, apparently unharmed by the "fighting against your own weight to breathe" bit.

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