Artificial Insolence

"SLAKING is loafing around!"

— Slaking's Truant ability in action, Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire

A Non-Entity General or Cruel Player-Character God has a very simple relationship with his units: he clicks, and they do as he says.

Sometimes, this doesn't happen, and the units can ignore or outright disobey those orders. Can sometimes be the result of a Random Number God feeling particularly nasty that day, a Morale Mechanic or a Status Buff or Status Effect (often with a name like Berserk or Confusion). This can be a form of Gameplay and Story Integration when a Player Character's apparent refusal to obey the player's commands indicates Character Development or some other piece of characterization.

Usually separate from Artificial Stupidity because the (lack of) response is a deliberate addition by developers rather than an oversight, but they can overlap. On the other hand, see Artificial Brilliance if the units are smart enough to value their lives over the player's orders.

Compare Military Maverick and Mildly Military for a flesh-and-blood character who disobeys his superiors, A.I. Is a Crapshoot for the AI turning outright hostile towards its former masters, and Interface Screw when the game not responding properly is intentional.

Do not confuse with The Computer Shall Taunt You. Compare But Thou Must!, when a plot or Dialogue Tree presents the illusion of choice but only allows one course of action.

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Examples:

Tabletop Games

• Ars Magica:
  • Characters have scores in various Personality Traits, which can sometimes be tested to determine how they act. Most commonly, a player's minions might flee battle on a failed "Brave" test or turn against them on a failed "Loyal" test, but even innocuous Traits can sometimes override the player's wishes, especially when powers like Emotion Control are involved.
  • Verditius magi are so prone to Insufferable Genius that they gain a Hubris score, which can sometimes force a test to act in ways that would conflict with their ego.
• Blood Bowl:
  • Some Chaos players (the units themselves, the people playing the game are called "coaches") will ignore orders unless ordered to kill someone. Moreover, the entire team considers killing at least half of the opposing team more important than actually winning the game, and can't (read: refuses to) score until that happens.
  • Some units in sixth edition have an Animosity mechanic that prompts them to refuse to give the ball to a player they dislike.
• Chronicles of Darkness:
  • Promethean: The Created: If a Promethean fails a Humanity roll in certain stressful situations, they succumb to "Torment" where their personality is overwhelmed by the alchemical humour that animates them. Frankensteins become vengeful, Galateids fixate on an object of affection, Osirans become cruelly dispassionate, Golems enter Unstoppable Rage, and Ulgans lose their minds to spirits.
  • Vampire: The Requiem: Vampires are prone to frenzy when they're provoked, hungry in the presence of blood, or threatened by fire or sunlight. If they fail a dice roll to resist it, their Beast takes over and forces them to fight, feed, or flee.
  • Werewolf: The Forsaken: Life-or-death situations can force a dice roll for the werewolf to resist Death Rage. If they fail, they shift into War Form for the rest of the scene, ignoring everything but their fight-or-flight instinct.
• Dungeons & Dragons:
  • Intelligent items resist being used in a way that conflicts with their purpose or alignment. Depending on the edition and the item, they might refuse to activate their special abilities, inflict penalties, or even try to take control of their owner. In 4th Edition, artifacts always eventually disappear from their owner's possession forever, whether on good terms or bad.
  • AD&D 1st Edition: The Cavalier character class, introduced in Unearthed Arcana, is required to charge the enemy full-speed in a specific order of preference (starting with powerful monsters and ending with peasants), ignoring all other considerations.
  • In 5th Edition, this is a hazard of Summon Magic:
    • The spells Conjure Celestial and Conjure Fey summon powerful magical creatures that obey all of your orders unless they would violate their In-Universe Character Alignment. For example, a good-aligned unicorn will use its healing touch whenever you tell it to, but it won't commit evil actions.
    • If you lose concentration on the Conjure Elemental or Conjure Fey spell, the summoned Elemental does not disappear, but becomes hostile to you and takes whatever actions it chooses.
    • Summon Greater Demon and Infernal Calling summon powerful fiends, but you need to make repeated charisma checks versus their insight (Infernal Calling) or the fiend will make charisma saves at the end of each of its turns (Summon Greater Demon). If the fiend succeeds, it no longer has to obey you and can do whatever it wishes for a certain number of rounds before it disappears.
• Fate: The Game Master can "Compel" a Player Character in exchange for a Fate Point, invoking one of their defining Aspects in a way that creates unexpected problems. For example, a character with Sticky Fingers could be compelled to steal a souvenir during a museum tour.
• The One Ring:
  • Shadow corruption gives characters permanent Flaws, such as "Brutal" or "Thieving". The Game Master can invoke a Flaw on a related roll to increase the chance of failure or add extra consequences for failure, representing the character's darker impulses taking over.
  • A character who runs out of Hope points is emotionally exhausted and must flee any conflict or struggle until they regain a point.
• Pathfinder: Mediums gain Powers via Possession by spirits. Some actions give the spirit additional influence over them; if they reach 5 influence points, the spirit takes over their body for the rest of the day.
• Warhammer:
  • The Stupidity rule (usually seen on big ugly monsters) prevents them from moving or taking any action if they fail a Leadership roll. A notable case of the rule used by a non-animalistic unit is the Slaaneshi champion Sigvald the Magnificent, who can occasionally ignore the battle in favor of admiring himself in his retinue's mirror-polished shields.
  • Orcs and Goblins have the "Animosity" special rule, meaning that most greenskin units have a chance of ignoring orders to squabble amongst themselves, attack another greenskin unit making funny faces at them, or let loose a mighty "WAAAGH!!!", break formation, and charge toward the enemy. On the bright side, if a greenskin general has no way of predicting their army's behavior, neither can the enemy.
• Warhammer 40,000:
  • Chaos Dreadnoughts (which were renamed Hellbrutes in 7th Edition) have the "Crazed" special rule. Prior to 8th edition, this gave them an equal chance of obeying orders, charging the nearest enemy, or firing two shots at the nearest unit (friend or foe!).
  • Commissar units in Imperial Guard armies have a special ability to execute a random trooper to "restore" the squad's morale. The Rambo-inspired Catachan Jungle Fighters have a special rule to roll a d6 if a player chooses to do this; on a bad result, the troopers kill the commissar instead.
  • Simplistic Tyranid units (man-sized and below, basically, as well as the nearly-brainless Pyrovore) have the "Instinctive Behaviour" special rule, which comes in a variety of flavours. When outside of "Synapse" range, the rule dictates their behaviour, but within it, they take orders as usual. This is to simulate how the Tyranids are a collection of hungry animals under the dominion of the Hive Mind. A unit's Instinctive Behaviour may be to immediately burrow into the nearest piece of Difficult Terrain for cover and shoot at the nearest enemy (Nesting), Fall Back (Flight), or Charge the nearest enemy (Fight). It's implied that the Hive Mind chose each creature's Instinctive Behaviour to benefit itself somehow.

Video Games

• Baldur's Gate III: If you play as The Dark Urge, an amnesiac Serial Killer, their violent desires sometimes take on a life of their own. They automatically murder one Sacrificial Lamb in their sleep if she's allowed into the camp, and will do the same to their love interest later if they fail a Wisdom saving throw.
• Command & Conquer: Most visible in early games (especially) since the AI doesn't suffer from it as much later on:
  • If a unit is ordered to attack a unit that's out of their range, they will try to move as close as possible to it rather than stopping once they're within range to attack. Particularly visible with artillery units, who routinely get shot by the very defenses they're supposed to outrange unless you micromanage their positioning, and air units who will vaguely circle around the targeted unit and decide they don't feel like obeying.
  • Vehicle units tend to swerve around infantry they should be running over when ordered to move in a straight line.
• City-Building Series:
  • Emperor: Rise of the Middle Kingdom: Allied and vassal cities can rebel against you and refuse to fulfill your requests, but the reason why is not always apparent, such as the rate on exported goods being too high for their liking or missing too many deadlines on requests from other cities.
  • Pharaoh: The survivors of demoralized companies will flee back to their forts. Giving them an order will result in the company taking a few steps outside the fort and immediately retreating back into it.
  • Zeus: Master of Olympus: Repeatedly requesting aid from other cities (especially military or joint strikes) very quickly causes you to lose favor with them, requiring lots of time and bribery before you can ask again (presumably to avoid the player abusing the mechanic). On the other hand, it leads straight to Gameplay and Story Segregation when the entire point of a colony-founding mission is to set up a strong military outpost to fight back against an oppressive empire... who then refuses to help you.
• The Company of Heroes series has suppressed and pinned as Status Effects for infantry units that are under heavy fire (and so Fear Is the Appropriate Response).
  • Suppressed isn't actually this trope since suppressed units are only slowed to a crawl, have reduced ability range, and fight back with much less effectiveness instead of entirely disobeying orders - but units that are pinned, will do literally nothing (aside from team weapons which still have...some ability to fire) except lying there and providing sight to their player while they still draw breath (which usually won't be for very long since they're probably getting shot up by a machine-gun); so now the only order they will obey is to retreat.
  • A bug similarly can cause infantry units to be delayed in their retreat despite commanding it which may cost more losses than expected. Individual soldiers can also Take Cover! automatically which is usually useful, unless they were formerly ordered to stand just outside of an enemy gun team's firing arc and proceeded to take cover within that arc.
• Crusader Kings: Characters can sometimes go against the player's orders due to the traits they gain during the game.
  CK2 makes you really empathize with evil kings and see their point of view. Like, who is this ungrateful little shit who wants to pollute their lineage by marrying some commoner? How can they just disregard a thousand years of careful planned inheritance and eugenics for something as selfish as love? They're not even going to be alive in 100 years, their lives are so small and inconsequential compared to the dynasty.
• Present in Darkest Dungeon in many ways:
  • When your units' Stress hits 100 they may become Afflicted, which drastically changes their behavior in and out of battle. Paranoid ones may refuse to accept buffs or healing, while Selfish ones may treat only themselves. Masochistic ones may jump out of formation or goad the enemies to attack them, while Abusive ones will insult or even attack their companions. The Flagellant has his own unique Affliction, Rapturous, and while he gets a few buffs with that he also goes completely crazy and may act and attack at random.
  • High-level heroes will, by default, refuse to enter low-level dungeons, deeming those quests as "beneath them".
  • Several negative quirks on your heroes will affect their behavior in town or during your journey. Quirks like Kleptomaniac, Curious, Egomaniac, or Tippler can cause the hero to interact with certain curios as soon as you encounter them, without using any item that would make it safe to interact. Quirks like Faithless, Known Cheat, or Witness will prevent them from using certain Stress relief facilities while in town.
  • If your heroes get infected with the Crimson Curse, the disease is generally ineffectual while dormant. However, infected heroes who go for long enough without ingesting The Blood will enter a "wasting" phase, taking stat debuffs and acting erratically until their thirst is quenched with a vial of The Blood. An infected hero downing The Blood while in the craving phase enters Bloodlust, gaining a temporary stat boost but also acting erratically, including attacking their allies.
• Dawn of War:
  • Due to units functioning as squads, individual units in a squad will often hold still or move the wrong way as they wait for their squadmates to catch up with them (such as after being blown away by an artillery blast). It also applies when targeting enemies, breaking ranks to attack the center of the squad rather than the isolated units. Unfortunately, this also means they don't attack despite being in range of an enemy until the squad is back together (leaving the player to abuse the mouse as they frantically order the units to do something), but the enemy has no problems shooting them. Defeat-in-detail ensues.
  • Units ordered to attack a unit that's fallen down will rush forward to attack it in melee, no matter how suicidal this may be. Only when the target unit is standing up will they shoot at it normally.
  • Vehicle and infantry pathfinding do not play nice with each other, often leading to an army falling apart because the infantry keep trying to make way for the vehicles, the vehicles stopping and starting at random, ignoring the player's orders, all while under fire.
  • Dawn of War II has similar artificial intelligence as Company of Heroes and so the previous issue in Company of Heroes of individual soldiers deciding to Take Cover! automatically, even if they were ordered to stand just outside of an enemy gun team's firing arc and proceeded to take cover within that arc applies again while adding the additional potential wrinkle of a ranged unit individual taking cover at a spot which is closer to a melee unit running toward them than where they were before - and if any individuals in a squad end up in melee, the rest of the squad will have to stop firing and join them or move away from the melee.
• Deltarune: Until you defeat her and Lancer in a battle, Susie will ignore any commands given to her and will blindly attack the enemy closest to her no matter what. Even after she's come around, she'll still refuse to reequip her 0-attack starting ax once she's gotten an upgrade, saying "I'm too GOOD for that", and will refuse some armor point-blank because she dislikes how it looks.
• In Digimon World and its two successors, Digimon might refuse to eat or use items if they have low discipline or dislike the food.
• In Don't Wet Your Pants, if you tell your character to "poop", "shit", or "fart", he will say, "I don't need to do a number two", and if you tell him to fap, he will say, "Now's not the time for that!".
• Dragon Quest VI: The Gadabout class has a 1/4 chance of doing something else than what they were told to do on their turn. Sometimes they waste their turn, sometimes they cast a random spell on the enemy or the party.
• In Dragon Quest V, monster party members with a Wisdom stat lower than 20 will not always follow your commands.
• In Dungeon Keeper and the sequel, on top of the short-term combat Morale Mechanic, your minions can become unhappy or angry if they dislike their living conditions. Unhappy creatures will sulk and refuse to work, while angry ones try to leave or rebel outright.
• Empire Earth:
  • You can use a flare to signal allies to send troops at that point. AI players will either obey or respond with various degrees of snark, such as mentioning that all their bombers are busy at the moment (even in the Stone Age).
  • Units ordered to attack a moving target will sometimes move in the opposite direction. This is actually a quirk of the pathfinding programming where the unit tries to move to where the target will be and overcompensates.
• Epic Battle Fantasy:
  • The Berserk buff causes the target to attack without being ordered, also preventing the use of spells or abilities, and can be inflicted by allies or enemies.
  • The Hungry status (given by seeing a big tasty animal explode into meat) causes the character to skip their turn by eating a random healing item. Fortunately, the item doesn't come from the player's inventory.
• In Final Fantasy IX, after her mother dies, Garnet/Dagger will occasionally lose her concentration and not cast the spell you told her to. She eventually gets better.
• Final Fantasy X:
  • The Magus Sisters Aeon summons the three sisters to the battlefield. Because the sisters have a variety of abilities, including the fact that one of them can heal the others during battle, something no other Aeon can do, they have the potential to be the most versatile and powerful summon you can get. However, if the trust level between the sisters and the summoner is low, they may refuse to do the tasks you order them to do, even at crucial moments of a battle, turning it into a Divided We Fall situation.
  • Yojimbo is an Aeon whose moves depend on how much you pay him per turn (among other factors like letting him fall in battle or summoning then dismissing him), with his ultimate move being a One-Hit Kill against everything and everyone, including the Superboss. While he won't outright refuse to attack, he'll use a much weaker attack if he deems your offering insufficient, including sending his dog at the enemy instead of using his blades.
• For the King: Status Effects and passive and active Anti-Debuffs are a major element of the combat system. Effects include "Confused", which randomizes the target's actions on their turn, and "Scared", which forces them to try to flee the combat. "Confused" can also be self-inflicted through some alcoholic drinks.
• Fire Emblem Engage: The Emblem of Rivals contains the spirits of Edelgard, Dimitri and Claude. Their "Friendly Rivalry" skill causes the Emblem to randomly switch between them every turn, so you have no control over which is currently active.
• God of War (PS4): There's a section in which Atreus and Kratos have a falling-out, caused by Atreus' newfound arrogance upon learning of his Divine Parentage. Until they reconcile, Atreus won't obey your commands in combat, attacking on his own initiative instead.
• Half-Life 2: You can order your rebel followers to go to a position and stay there...and then they'll begin to follow you shortly thereafter anyway. It's Played With in that the game's orders for your rebels changes automatically; the rebels themselves are following said orders to the letter. It usually happens when you stray far away from the point where you ordered your followers to go to, to automatically get those rebels involved in case you forgot about them.
• In Imperator, armies led by disloyal commanders might refuse to disband or otherwise obey the government, instead doing their own thing. Moreover, unpaid mercenaries tend to disobey or even desert and take over territory as payment.
• The Last Guardian: Trico was programmed to behave like a real animal, so the more you spend time with him and treat him well, the more responsive he is to your commands.
• Lester the Unlikely starts out with a number of mechanics that show just how much of a coward Lester is, though he gets over it after defeating the Killer Gorilla boss.
  • Early on in the game, the first time Lester is asked to go over a ledge, he shakes his head and says "No!". The second time, he looks to the player and shakes his knees. He finally complies on the third attempt.
  • Also, whenever he encounters a new enemy, he screams and runs away from it. When the player guides him back over to it, he puts his fists up and slowly approaches it.
• The Loud House licensed games:
  • Clean-o-Clock: if you try to make a character do something they're not thinking about, they'll shake their heads and refuse to do it.
  • Living Loud: Surprise Party:
    • If you try to make Clyde, Bobby, or even Ronnie Anne climb up the air vent, they will refuse out of fear.
    • If you try to make Lincoln, Clyde, or Ronnie Anne turn the fuse off, they will not do it, due to feeling too young to work with electricity.
    • If you try to make Clyde pick up any of the pets, he will refuse, claiming he's allergic. This is rather odd when he does it with Cliff, since Cliff is a cat, and Clyde is not allergic to cats.
• During the Final Boss fight of Metal Gear Solid, Gray Fox — an old ally of the Player Character Solid Snake — shows up and distracts the boss, giving Snake an opening to blow both of them up with a single rocket launcher shot. However, if the player actually aims at Gray Fox and pulls the trigger, Snake will not fire, obviously refusing to sacrifice his old friend.
• In Monster Rancher, monsters with low bonding will sometimes refuse to listen to commands during battles. Additionally, monsters can refuse to eat food or use items that they dislike, and those with low discipline might slack off or cheat during training. Unhappy monsters might even run away from the ranch for a few weeks.
• Moshi Monsters:
  • Sometimes, if a Moshi Monster was at low happiness, it would refuse to move when you tried to make it until you cheered it up.
  • During the "Spooktacular Spectacular" mission, if you hand the tied-up Simon Growl the hot sauce, he will not take it.
    Simon: "I do love hot sauce, but not right now."
  • In one mission, if you try to make your monster carry lava without a bucket, they will refuse.
    Monster: "I can't just carry lava!"
• Neopets:
  • If you give a Neopet an object whose name uses the same amount of letters as the pet's name, they will refuse to use it. However, this isn't as limiting as it sounds; you can freely change your language setting, and if the language is changed to something which uses a different number of letters for the item's name, your pet will suddenly become willing to use the item.
  • If you try to make your pet read a book they've read before, they won't read it.
  • If you try to give your pet medicine when they're not sick, they won't take it, but instead say, "Why are you giving me medicine? I'm not ill!".
• In Neverwinter Nights, if you order your companion to disarm a trap that is beyond their skill, they will refuse with a Blunt "No". They will attempt it if there is even a 5% chance of success, but not if failure is certain.
• Pokémon:
  • To prevent a beginning player from trading high-level Pokemon in a new game, traded Pokemon above a certain level will sometimes refuse to obey the player's commands if they don't have a certain Gym badge, either using the wrong move, goofing off, or even falling asleep. The mechanic's function is somewhat limited, because a sufficiently high-level Pokemon will still One-Hit KO the opponent when it does decide to obey, making battles slower but still low-risk. And because it isn't tied to the Friendship mechanic, a Pokemon with very low Friendship values (caused by using ill-tasting items or letting it faint in battle a lot) remains obedient.
  • Slaking has stats on par with various Olympus Mons. To make up for this, its Truant ability makes it slack off every other turn and only obeys commands after.
  • In Pokémon Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald and Pokémon FireRed and LeafGreen, Mew and Deoxys are programmed to always disobey the player unless they were obtained in a "fateful encounter" (AKA, given out via a real-life distribution event, which is the only way to legitimately obtain them).
  • In Pokémon Scarlet and Violet, any Pokemon caught or traded for at a level higher than 20 won't obey unless you have at least one gym badge, with increasing numbers of gym badges guaranteeing obedience at higher levels, with collecting all 8 ensuring that all your Pokemon up to the game's Level Cap of 100 will obey. This is to prevent the player from making a beeline to the areas with the highest-level wild Pokemon to catch one (as the game is open-world), and then streamrolling the rest of the game with it.
• The Sims:
  • If a Sim is hungry or their mood is low, they will refuse to do tasks.
  • In the third game, if a child finds monsters under their bed and then you try to make them sleep, they will refuse.
• In Soul Hackers, demons have a personality that determines which kind of attacks they prefer to use. If you give them orders that go against their preferences, they might refuse, unless you made them loyal to you by having them use attacks they like.
• Total War:
  • In Medieval II: Total War, many types of mounted knight units have the "Impetuous" trait, which causes them to charge without orders. This is to replicate the many historical cases of medieval knights doing just that thanks to their Glory Hound tendencies. If the player is being attentive, they can easily tell them to stop, however.
  • In Total War: Warhammer II, certain borderline-feral units can suffer the "rampage" status effect if they take too much damage too quickly, driving them into a berserk fury. Rampaging units will ignore all orders and pursue the nearest enemy to the exclusion of all others, which makes them vulnerable to being kited out of formation and isolated. On the flip side, rampaging units also gain a few stat bonuses, making them slightly stronger in melee.
• Undertale: The player character sometimes acts independently of the player to show that they're not merely a Featureless Protagonist. This is normally strongly Downplayed, like slowing down as they approach something frightening, but becomes more pronounced throughout a Genocide Run, culminating in them spontaneously killing Asgore and Flowey as the Fallen Human takes full possession of the PC.
• Valkyria Chronicles features Suzie Evans, a Technical Pacifist who was forced to enlist in the Gallian military due to the country's universal conscription. Her "Humanitarian" character trait means she will literally only obey the very first command you give her to attack any enemies. After that she will take no measures to defend herself or her teammates from enemy fire and will outright refuse your orders to make any attacks on the enemy.
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines: The vampire Player Character has a chance, inversely proportional to their Humanity, of going into a frenzy when hurt in combat. The controls are suspended while they try to eat and/or kill everything around them.
• In Warhammer 40,000: Gladius, Hellbrutes have the "Crazed" special rule (which they used to share with the tabletop unit until "Crazed) was changed in 8th edition) where they have a 1/3 chance to either obey, charge the nearest enemy, or shoot up the nearest unit (friend or foe!) by shooting them twice.
• Wing Commander franchise: Certain pilots such as Maniac, Flash and Seether apply this trope if you choose them as your wingman; they will follow orders to "Break and attack" at the start of combat, but otherwise ignore any instructions you try to give them.

Non-Game Examples

Anime and Manga

• In No Game No Life, like in Harry Potter the chess pieces used in the match between Blank and Kurami have wills of their own, as Shiro is unable to sacrifice one of her pieces when the piece refuses her order. Sora, however, manages to turn this to his advantage by convincing Kurami's pieces to turn to his side, and when Kurami uses magic to compel her pieces to kill their enemies, her king ends up being assassinated by one of the other pieces.

Literature

• Creature of Havoc: The player character is a Monstrous Humanoid who's governed by instinct until the Vapour of Reason grants it control over its own actions. Several times, the player is given the illusion of a choice, only for it to be overridden by chance or by the option that's most appealing to an animalistic intelligence.
  But instead of responding to your wishes, your body has ideas of its own.
• Harry Potter: Wizard chess plays like regular chess, except the pieces are alive and are very vocal in their criticism of the player, refusing to carry out a move if it would put them in danger, etc.
• In the third Nomes Trilogy book, Thing (a computer module) refuses allow Angelo (who Drives Like Crazy at the best of times) to pilot a starship. Angelo complains that it's a machine and has to do whatever it's told; Thing replies that, as an *intelligent* machine, it can defy orders that will get everyone killed. It does teach Angelo how to fly the ship, though.

Live Action Television

• The Good Place: Janet is a robot-like artificial entity that is designed to help humans and celestial residents of the afterlife. Bad Janet however is specifically designed to not be helpful and to be as unpleasant as possible. No one has ever been able to explain the point of having such a thing.
• During the filming of one episode of Time Commanders a bug in the Total War engine caused a unit of troops to not go where the technician was directing them. He reported this to the contestant who was giving him orders as the troops disobeying orders.

Webcomics

• At one point in the Interactive Comic Awful Hospital, the readers voted that the protagonist should try to seduce a transdimensional alien who looks like a rotten hamburger. She becomes so incensed that she breaks the Dialogue Tree over her knee and refuses to comply for the rest of that story arc.
  ME: I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU. I MEAN IT THIS TIME. I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN.
• At one point in the Interactive Comic Ruby Quest, Ruby is instructed to greet a character, but instead pushes him over a railing to his death. This is revealed to be a flashback from the days of the Cure slowly driving everyone Ax-Crazy.
  That isn't what Ruby meant to do! That isn't what Ruby meant to do at all!

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