Thus it was that I, Jennifer Strange, sixteen years next month and loyal subject of King Snodd IV in the Kingdom of Hereford, took on the rights and responsibilities of the last Dragonslayer.
First published in 2010, The Last Dragonslayer is the first book in a tetralogy of the same name by Jasper Fforde and his first offering for young adult readers.
Once upon a time dragons roamed freely; the world was filled with great heroes like The Dragonslayer and powerful wizards like the Mighty Shandar, who made their living commanding the seas or creating strange beasts; and magic was plentiful. That was a long time ago.
Nowadays the Dragonpact struck by Shandar ensures Dragons remain within the bounds of magically protected Dragonlands scattered throughout the UnUnited Kingdom; there hasn't been any real need for a hero like the Dragonslayer in over a hundred years; and magic is at a historic low ebb with no signs of a return in sight. But there are still wizards, and those wizards still need to make a living.
Enter protagonist Jennifer Strange. Jennifer is a lot of things: fifteen years old, a foundling, an indentured servant, and current acting manager of Kazam — the premier Mystical Arts Management agency in the Kingdom of Hereford. Much of the world has moved on from the need for curses and spells in favor of modern technology, so Jennifer scrambles to keep the lights on by hiring out the flying carpeteers to deliver pizzas, the precogs to predict the weather, and the wizards to wallpaper lofts. In the ongoing absence of company owner Mr. Zambini, Jennifer is the one person who stands between her fleet of curmudgeonly sorcerers and total fiscal insolvency. On top of that, she's been tasked with training her replacement (a resourceful fellow foundling by the name of Horton "Tiger" Prawns) and keeping her slightly-illegal pet Quarkbeast (an animal something like a cross between a hyena and a wood chipper) out of trouble. Jennifer has her hands full keeping Kazam up and running while magic dies a slow, prolonged death.
So naturally it comes as a shock when a prophecy predicts the death of Maltcassion, the last living dragon in the UnUnited Kingdom, at the hands of the illustrious Dragonslayer - an event that heralds "Big Magic," whatever that may be. Upon Maltcassion's death, the magically protected Dragonlands he rules over will be freed up for development — something the megalomaniacal King Snodd IV and his partners at Consolidated Useful Stuff (or ConStuff) are keen to capitalize on. It's even more shocking when Jennifer inherits the mantle of "Dragonslayer" and the duty to dispatch the last dragon, should the need arise.
Trouble is, Jennifer doesn't want to kill a Maltcassion. In fact, she takes a moral stand against the indiscriminate slaying of innocent dragons. But destiny is a tricky thing, and it seems everyone has their own reason for wanting Jennifer to get on with offing the old drake. A plot to frame Maltcassion for a capital breach of the Dragonpact is afoot, and so is a plan to force the latest Dragonslayer's hand (or else eliminate her from the equation).
The world clamors for the last dragon's death and King Snodd IV orders Jennifer to execute her duty or else. The clock is ticking on the prophesized last days of the last dragon. Jennifer's only allies are a fellow orphan, an overzealous guard dog, and the de-powered witches and wizards of Kazam. With nothing more than her wits to guide her, her grit to keep her going, a rusty 58' Volkswagen beetle and a supremely Cool Sword that comes with the title of "Dragonslayer," just what can one girl do?
The Last Dragonslayer is followed by The Song of the Quarkbeast.
Tropes in The Last Dragonslayer:
- The Berserker:
- "Berzerkers" are "a rare class of fearless warriors" who can "draw energy from those around them during uncontrollable bouts of rage and channel it with terrifying violence against a foe." King Snodd employs a few of them when he's preparing to go to war with the Duchy of Brecon. They hit each other with bricks to hype themselves up, and do yo-yo trick to calm down.
- At the end of the book Jennifer discovers that she is a berzerker who can control her temper — a very rare combination.
- Broken Pedestal: Jennifer has a bit of an embarrassing crush on Sir Matt Grifflon, a minor noble and Hereford's very own rock star/ heartthrob. The first time she encounters him in person, he's been sent to the Dragonstation by the king to murder her and take over her job as the Dragonslayer. Jennifer's crush evaporates after that encounter.
- The Chosen One: Jennifer, at least according to the prophecy.
- Containment Field: The Dragonlands are surrounded by a magical barrier that only the Dragonslayer or the Dragonslayer's apprentice may pass through - anyone else who tries is instantly vaporized. But what no living human knows is that the force field works both ways - humans can't get in, and dragons can't get out. This was part of Shandar's plan to eliminate the dragons once and for all. With the dragons imprisoned in separate territories with no way to meet or mingle, there was no way for them to reproduce naturally. And without dragons leaving the Dragonlands to commit acts that would break the Dragonpact, there would be no reason for the Dragonslayer to slay any dragons (which turns one dragon into two). Once the last dragon died of old age, there would be no more.
- Cool Sword: Exhorbitus, the sword of the Dragonslayers. It's an Absurdly Sharp Blade that can cut through boulders, brick walls, and carbide steel as if they were wet paper. It's got a giant ruby "the size of an orange" embedded in the pommel. And anyone who isn't the Dragonslayer is vaporized if they try to touch it. (And apparently, it can only be sharpened with a banana.)
- Corporate-Sponsored Superhero: Not a superhero per se, but a Corporate Sponsored Dragonslayer. When Jennifer takes up the mantle of Dragonslayer several companies start a bidding war to get her to endorse their product, with Yummy Flakes cereal and Fizzi-Pop soda leading the charge. In order to save the Dragonstation from being repossessed by King Snodd (and to keep herself out of debtor's prison after assuming responsibility for the back-charged property tax, rent, gas, water, and electricity), Jennifer accepts a 100,000 moolah contract with Fizzi-Pop.An hour later I was heading off to the Dragonlands again, the Rolls-Royce bedecked with Fizzi-Pop stickers. Painted on the door was a big sign:
- Deadly Force Field: Anyone, bar the Dragonslayer or the Dragonslayer's apprentice, who attempts to cross into the Dragonlands will find themselves vaporized by the barrier that surrounds it. The barrier is actually a Containment Field. Dragons don't just stay in the Dragonlands for fear of violating the Dragonpact: dragons cannot get out of their individual parcels of land, and humans can't get in.
- Dog Dies at the End: Gordon shoots Jennifer's loyal Quarkbeast companion when it leaps to defend her.
- The Dragonslayer: A tenured position in the UnUnited Kingdoms, where there must always be an official Dragonslayer to deal with any dragons accused of breaking the Dragonpact by leaving the Dragonlands.
- Emotion Bomb: Exploited — It's a little known fact that strong emotions are an energy source similar to magic. Maltcassion's plan to end the Dragonpact relied on the ability of humans to generate a seemingly limitless amount of emotions — specifically greed — in order to fuel the type of "Big Magic" that could undo the spell Shandar had cast. Maltcassion generated a prediction of his own death and broadcast it to every precog in the region, along with general feelings of "want" and "greed" to the wider population. When the time comes for his predicted demise, there are 8 million men and women at the borders of the Dragonlands ready to rush in and claim the unspoiled land — not to mention King Snodd IV, who wants to use the Dragonlands as a corridor for his invasion of the Duchy of Brecon. Jennifer's heretofore unknown status as a Berzerker saps the feelings of greed out of the assembled crowd and channeled it through Exhorbitus to break Shandar's spell, leaving the masses tired and confused as to why they wasted the last week camping out by the border of the Dragonlands."The power that comes closest to the energy that makes up what we call magic is human emotion. The power in one person is negligible, but a large group of people can generate an almost limitless amount of energy."
"Emotion? You mean like love?"
"Powerful, I agree," conceeded Feldspar, "but impossible to generate artificially. Avarice, on the other hand, is far simpler to create. All we needed to do was gather a lot of humans and the tantalizing possibility of something for nothing." - Exposition Beam: When Jennifer is appointed the apprentice soon to be replacement Dragonslayer by Brian Spalding, he mentions they haven't got much time until her prophesied battle with Maltcassion. Brian has her place her hands on The Dragonslayer's Manual to absorb the collective knowledge of all the Dragonslayers past in the span of a couple seconds.
- Fantastic Nature Reserve: The Dragonpact struck by Shandar and the dragons set out the boundaries of the Dragonlands: individual parcels of land where dragons would not be disturbed by humans. Each dragon had their own domain, and agreed not to leave to burn down any villages or steal cattle. Upon a dragon's death, their Dragonlands would be free to be claimed by the first man to set foot in them. By the time the story starts there's only one dragon left, Maltcassion, and only one pristine Dragonland remaining. The boundaries of the Dragonlands are actually a Containment Field designed to keep the dragons trapped and unable to reproduce.
- Gem Tissue: Dragons have a large gem in their forehead that glows slightly. In the olden days, knights would take the gem as a trophy when they killed the dragon.
- Hydra Problem: "Slaying" a dragon leads to the one dragon magically dividing into two, both of which retain something of the memories and personality of their "parent." The only way to truly kill of a dragon is to sequester it until it dies of old age.
- Justice by Other Legal Means: More like In-justice By Other Legal Means, when this trope is attempted by King Snodd against Jennifer. After she gets stuck with the title of Dragonslayer and pledges not to slay the last dragon, King Snodd wants her out of the picture and replaced with someone who will kill the dragon. When he finds he can't bribe Jennifer into giving up the position, he sics the Intimidating Revenue Service on her with a massive tax and utility bill attached to the Dragonstation, for which she assumed responsibility when she was appointed Dragonslayer.
- Intimidating Revenue Service: Invoked by King Snodd as part of his attempted Justice by Other Legal Means ploy, in an effort to get rid of Jennifer. Once she assumes the mantle of Dragonslayer and responsibility for the Dragonstation, King Snodd immediately dumps a debt of nearly 100,000 moolah from back-charged property tax, rent, gas, water, and electricity in her lap. If she doesn't pay up in a few hours, she faces some serious jail time. Even if Jennifer wanted to dispute the legality of the debt, she'd be tied up in court for weeks - long past the last dragon's predicted demise.
- MegaCorp: Consolidated Useful Stuff, or ConStuff, and their many subsidiaries.
- The Mole: Gordon van Gordon. He was part of a long-running plot by ConStuff to put an agent of theirs in place as a Dragonslayer's apprentice, in order to claim the Dragonlands before the barrier could come down. The particular conspiracy had been in play for over 60 years before they had a chance to embed their operative.
- Named Weapon: Exhorbitus, sword of the Dragonslayers."Why is it called Exhorbitus?""Probably because it was very expensive."
- Only the Chosen May Wield: Only the Dragonslayer or their apprentice can wield the sword Exhorbitus and the lance of the Dragonslayers. Anyone who isn't the Dragonslayer disappears in a puff of smoke.
- Overly Long Name/Repetitive Name: Jennifer's assistant Dragonslayer is Gordon van Gordon Gordonson ap Gordon-Gordon of Gordon.
- The Pardon: Jennifer's "betrayal of the crown" is eventually "reluctantly" pardoned by King Snodd, after she spends a week or two in jail. A quote from The Song of the Quarkbeast reveals that she found the conditions in jail oddly relaxing:The last time we had met he had me put in jail for daring to meddle in his plans to invade the Duchy of Brecon. Thankfully, 'averting a war with pacifist aforethought' couldn't be found anywhere on the statute books so I was released after two weeks of half-rations and a single sheet to sleep under in a damp cell without natural light. To anyone else it might have been unbearable, but after being brought up by the Blessed Ladies of the Lobster, it was really quite relaxing. I'd not slept so well for months.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Being the subject of a massive manhunt after "disappearing" into Kazam, Jennifer can't show her face in public. To sneak out of Kazam and back into the Dragonstation, Tiger comes up with the idea that she should disguise herself as a Troll War Widow with a wig, an old dress, and a cardboard sign begging for coins. The Quark Beast is disguised as her baby with a bonnet and a baby pram to sneak him past some of King Snodd's guards. The guards are complete idiots though, so it works perfectly.
- The Prophecy: The plot is kicked off when all the seers in the Kingdom of Hereford receive a simultaneous premonition of Maltcassion's death.
- Rapid Aging: The fate of Dragonslayer Brian Spalding, after he appoints Jennifer his successor in the field of Dragon Slaying. He was over 150 years old, and only "Old Magic" kept him from passing away until he could pass the torch. Once his job is complete, he ages decades in the span of a minute and dwindles away to "a fine smattering of gray powder."
- Something for Everyone: The Pollyanna Stone is a magical artifact that morphs into whatever the holder expects or hopes to see. When given to Jennifer unprompted, she sees a newspaper declaring that she won't be forced to kill the dragon. With a little bit of trickery, Jennifer uses the stone to fool the royal guards into believing that they're holding her Troll War Widow identification papers.Just then Lady Mawgon walked into the kitchens and handed me a copy of the Daily Mollusc. The front page had banner headlines explaining how everything was fine after all, so it was no longer necessary for me to slay Maltcassion. It added that the Duke of Brecon and King Snodd has kissed and made up, the Quarkbeast was no longer an illegal animal, the sale of marzipan was to be banned, and all foundlings everywhere were to be reunited with their parents."This is all far too good to be true," I muttered, and as soon as I had, the enchantment crumbled. I was no longer reading a newspaper but simply staring at a colorless gray pebble."What you have in your hand is a Pollyanna Stone," Lady Mawgon told me. "Whoever holds the pebble will see what they expect or hope to see. It might be of use if you are stopped on the way."
- The Tape Knew You Would Say That: Jennifer encounters two magically recorded messages from the Mighty Shandar. Both times, the recording mentions that it's a recording just as she begins to wonder if it's a recording.'You must be a Dragonslayer or their apprentice,' said a warm voice that sounded like how I hoped my father would speak, 'For only they may pass the marker stones.'
'I am, sir,' I muttered, unsure of how to address the most powerful wizard the world had ever known.
'I expect you have many questions,' continued the Mighty Shandar.
'Well, yes, I do," I replied, looking up, "in particular, how the whole Dragon/ magic deal—'
'—questions that I cannot hope to answer.'
I got to my feet. 'How's that?' I asked, but the Wizard ignored me.
'This is a recording, by the way.' answered Shandar, who now that I looked more closely seemed almost translucent, like a spectre. The image flickered and rocked as he spoke, and I was surprised to find that a sorcery recording is not a lot better than a poor video recording. - Thanatos Gambit: The dragons realized that Shandar's magic had trapped them, individually, in the Dragonlands. Without intermingling and reproducing the natural way, they would eventually go extinct. Getting the Dragonslayer to kill a single dragon to give rise to two successors would only result in two dragons still trapped. Maltcassion planned for his own death meticulously, as it would trigger Big Magic that could undo Shandar's pact and create two successor dragons who would be free.
- Think Nothing of It: Lady Mawgon gifts Jennifer and Tiger a Pollyanna Stone to aid them in their quest to get back to the Dragonstation, but she threatens to make Jennifer's life hell if anyone finds out that Mawgon has been anything but horrid to the foundlings."If you tell anyone I've been nice to you," she said, narrowing her eyes, "I will make it my solemn duty to make both your lives as unbearable as possible. And don't think I'm not going to have you both replaced on Monday, for I will."
- Would Hurt a Child: Would hurt a teen in this case, as Jennifer is fifteen, but the death of the last dragon brings out the nasty side of several characters:
- Sir Matt Grifflon was willing to kill Jennifer in order to take her position as the Dragonslayer.
- Gordon van Gordon was also willing to shoot Jennifer if she tried to interfere with ConStuff's plot to stake their claim on most of the territory in the Dragonlands before the last dragon was slain.
