10 Things to Do Before I Die is a Young Adult novel by Daniel Ehrenhaft published in 2004.
Ted Burger is a young guitarist with a lot of problems, and few hobbies. But here's one problem less: Spring Break just started, which means a whole week off of school, and his neglectful, crazy parents are out of town, so he has the place to himself.
Of course, he starts the week off with his friends, Mark and his girlfriend Nikki, in their favorite fast food restaurant, eating french fries, until Mark suggests that Ted's problem is that he's never really lived and should make a list of things to do before Spring Break ends.
All of which gets rapidly more urgent when news comes out that a disgruntled fry cook at the restaurant had poisoned the fries...and there's no cure.
10 Things to Do Before I Die contains examples of:
- Ambiguously Jewish: Ted's girlfriend Rachel Klein. Not a common last name among gentiles.
- Broken Pedestal: Ted is less than impressed by his favorite band once he finally meets them. They might be excellent musicians, but as people? He's not really a fan.
- Bully Turned Buddy: Ted's childhood bully, Billy Rifkin, ends up auditioning to join Ted's band.
- Character Narrator: The story is told entirely from First-Person Perspective from Ted's point of view. This is important, since he's a bit of an Unreliable Narrator at times...
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: That would be Nikki, with black hair. Ted refers to her eyes as "alien" frequently, as she always seems calm and all-knowing.
- Girls Like Musicians: This seems to be how Ted got his girlfriend, Rachel, since she pretends to be learning guitar just for an excuse to talk to him.
- Good Parents: Mark's dad. For all that Ted's parents are useless and neglectful, his best friend's dad is looking out for him.
- The Hero's Idol: Ted is a huge fan of Wes Levitiz, the lead man for his favorite band, and plays guitar trying to chase him. He obsessively catalogues information about Wes and is star struck when they meet...only for Ted to discover Wes is not the kind of person he wants to be at all.
- Hollywood Mid-Life Crisis: Mark's dad seems to be having one, as he is looking for a "thing"
- The Last Dance: Basically the plot of most of the book, since Ted deals with his impending death by simply not dealing with it at all and trying to complete the list he made with Mark.
- Last-Name Basis: Mark only ever calls Ted "Burger" until the very, very end of the book, when he says "Burger died" because Ted has changed so much. Mark's father also calls him "Burger" so often that when he uses "Ted," Ted knows to worry.
- Missing Mom: Mark's mom never appears.
- Must Not Die a Virgin: Well, it got put on the list before Ted heard about the poison, but still. Mark even hires a prostitute for Ted after it became clear Rachel wasn't game.
- Nerves of Steel: In contrast to Ted, Mark is impulsive, level-headed, and quick to act, and doesn't even flinch when he thinks someone is attacking the restaurant they're in with a gone.
- Nervous Wreck: Ted has a number of panic attacks illustrated in loving detail, although he doesn't recognize them until he winds up in a hospital and a doctor explains what's going on.
- "Number of Objects" Title: Ted has an actual list on a paper napkin of the ten things that he was supposed to complete on his summer break, which rapidly changes to 24 hours when he believes himself to be dying.
- Parental Neglect: Ted's parents are just awful and so wrapped up in each other and their work that they can't even be bothered to take their kid to therapy until he ends up in a hospital. And even then they don't really listen to him.
- Parental Obliviousness: Ted's parents are so useless that when he asks them for twenty bucks to buy his own school supplies for the year, they immediately spring into giving him the latest pitch they worked up for a new product that's not even on the market. Ted has to steal the twenty from his dad's wallet, and he doesn't even notice.
- Predatory Prostitute: Mark hires Joy, an escort, for Ted to lose his virginity to, when it becomes apparent Rachel isn't going to do it. She ends up stealing Ted's parents' credit cards and racking up thousands of dollars in charges.
- Present Tense Narrative: The entire book (barring flashbacks) is told in present-tense.
- Reformed Bully: One of the items on Ted's list to is to get back at one of his childhood bullies, Billy Rifkin, but when he goes to meet him, he finds Billy much kinder than he had been last time they saw each other, and in a wheelchair on top of that. They establish a friendship.
- Scam Religion: One of the items on Ted's list is to create his own religion.
- Shout-Out: Ted's favorite band is named Shakes the Clown, a reference in-universe, and, of course, out of it, since it's a real film.
- Significant Name Shift: Ted Burger's best friend Mark, calls him "Ted" for the first time near the end of the book, and when Ted is astonished, he says, "Yeah, well, Burger died, dude," and recaps Ted's character arc.
- Stage Names: Wes Levtiz, the lead man for Shakes the Clown, goes by "Hip E. Shake."
- Two-Timing with the Bestie: Ted kisses his best friend Mark's girlfriend, Nikki, before Mark and Nikki break up. Somehow, they all remain friends afterward, even when Ted and Nikki start dating properly.
- Unreliable Narrator: Ted never appears to be intentionally lying, but he's just a teenager who really doesn't know what's going on most of the time.
