Literature / She Is The One

She Is The One is a Web Serial Novel by Jashley. It can be read here (NSFW warning). The story is intended for mature audiences, sex is a part of the narrative, though sex scenes make up overall a small percentage of the word count. (There's about one per chapter towards at the beginning, though that starts dropping significantly after the Voyeur Saga).

The story is told in first-person by Jack Harrison, the luckiest unlucky smartest idiot ever, as he writes memoir-style about his life, often addressing his readers humorously. The story is broken up into "Sagas," approximately ten chapters each (though some are shorter and some are longer, and they've been getting longer as the story has progressed) roughly covering a "plot arc" in Jack's life. Being a true-to-life story, threads and characters weave in and out of various Sagas. The story is set in our modern world at about our modern time (a throwaway line in a recent chapter states the PlayStation 5 is out, but no hint of the COVID-19 Pandemic).

We catch up with Jack at the start of his sophmore year at Brow Ridge high school. A new family has moved in next door, the Hannigans, and Jack meets their daughter, Kayla, the now-literal Girl Next Door. While not quite Love at First Sight, Jack and Kayla connect rather quickly, and the first several chapters are devoted to them becoming the Official Couple. The focus is now on them as a couple, working on their relationship in the face of high school drama, which is fairly dramatic even by high school standards. A gun in a locker, a bona fide evil scheme, one of the most brutal schoolyard brawls ever, and an intramural prostitution ring are just some of the things Jack has to deal with before getting his diploma. Then the action moves to college as Jack and Kayla attend Iowa State University, where things are a bit less dramatic (up until The Pipe Bomb Incident, at least).

Through all this, we have a cast of colorful characters that move in and out of Jack's life. There's his best friends Joe and Brad and his high school nemesis, Craig. Rhona, his acerbic coworker at GameStop with constantly changing two-tone hair colors. Jessica, the high school Alpha Bitch and drama queen in every possible sense. There's Jack's exuberant running enthusiast cousin Tara, who Jack loves like a sister, and his actual siblings, Alan and Amanda. Jack and Kayla's parents are prominent as well, as to be expected. And then a whole tier of backup characters in teachers and students Jack interacts with. The cast expands even more at college, as Jack makes friends in and out of ISU's theater department.

Has a Shared Universe with another author's stories on the same site, Being More Social and its companion piece, Only If You Want. Both are shorter and a bit more sex-focused than She Is The One, and the crossover aspect is minimal: one character from Being More Social appears briefly in She Is The One. Mostly, characters in one story will joke about an actual plot point in the other story.

Has a Characters page.

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She Is The One provides examples of:

• Aesop Amnesia: Jack does have a bad habit of not quite learning his lesson.
  • After the car crash that kills Craig and lands him in in a coma for a day the hospital for several, Jack is resistant to getting psychological help to process the trauma. Even though he remembers how helpful Dr. Fitzsimmons was after Coach Walburn's suicide, Jack thinks he can deal with this trauma on his own.
• Always Identical Twins: Aside from the Harrisons (see Same-Sex Triplets), there's an aversion with Ted and Jessica Wilson, to the point Jack has a hard time believing they're actually related.
• And Call Him "George": Jack gets a lot of hugs that deal almost as much damage to him as his fights. Usually these come from Joe, but Mr. Hannigan and even Tara are also offenders (with Tara using The Glomp to apply her run speed as bonus damage on the "call him George" attack). Tara's mom is even more powerful from a standing start.
• Axes at School: A gun is found in Jack's locker. It's quickly proven to not be his, but it's still a lot more than he was prepared to deal with when he went into school that day.
• Auto Erotica: Kayla and Jack don't like doing it in the backseat of his car, but they will if desperate enough and no other suitable venue is to hand.
• Batman Can Breathe in Space: Discussed verbatim when Jack and a Gamestop coworker are debating Batman v Superman. Jack thinks this is the stupidest thing he's ever heard.
• Break Them by Talking: To get (what he hopes is) his last revenge on Kayla for dumping him and Jack for — being there, Craig does this. He tells Kayla that he's an abusive womanizer, and Jack knew... but didn't warn her. He then tells Jack that Kayla fell so easily for his fake charm and flattery it won't be long before someone else can command her attention.
• Brother–Sister Incest: The first chapter reveals Alan and Amanda, who share a bedroom, have been having sex with each other. They're eventually broken up by Jack's parents, who think their relationship doesn't really have a future. Amanda also tries to seduce Jack, then forces herself on him when he turns her down, though he's able to stop her from going too far. Jessica is also being blackmailed by Brad with a picture of her and her brother having sex, necessitating The Plan to get the picture deleted from Brad's phone and get him caught, though as Brad boomerang's back into Jack's life in senior year, it's called into question if that picture, and Jessica's relationship with her brother, ever really existed.
• Cast Herd: High school isn't too hard to keep track of, with basically three tiers of characters: Jack's immediate circle of friends (and Rhona), Jack and Kayla's families, and the assorted students and teachers who are relevant to the plot for as long or short as they are. In college, things start getting more complicated, with people Jack meets in and out of the theater department, roommates, friends and friends of friends, etc. Jack will alternately state to the reader that he's introducing a character now because they'll be important later, or that he's meeting lots of people now who will be important later but he'll introduce them when they become important.
• The Coats Are Off: As Jack and Craig square off for their Homecoming fight, Jack discards his tuxedo coat and bow tie, not wanting to give Craig extra clothing to grab.
• Convenient Coma: Averted. Jack's coma after the car wreck that took Craig's life is played realistically: he's out for about a day, and wakes up feeling exactly as shitty as you'd expect from someone who got knocked into a coma by a car wreck that claimed one life.
• Creepy Twins: Alan and Amanda actively practice to invoke this trope, moving and speaking at the same time in the same tone, Finishing Each Other's Sentences, and so on, apparently just because they know it creeps Jack out and they like messing with him. After their incestuous relationship implodes, they drop this, and as Jack and Amanda repair theirs, they find themselves sometimes doing it unintentionally. . . greatly creeping out Alan.
• Designated Girl Fight: Jack and Kayla worked together to deliver defeat to Craig, but Kayla alone fights Jessica when they believe she's involved in the locker gun plot.
  I should have pulled her off right away, but I was too surprised to move.
  
  That, and…well, two sexy chicks fighting is kinda hot. That only stopped me for a second, I promise.
• Did You Just Have Sex?: After Jack and Kayla's first time, lots of people know Jack got some. Alan and Amanda figure it out because he has the same look Alan does after he and Amanda have playtime. Kayla's mom asks Jack if they did, requesting the truth. Either she guessed based on the night's other events (the defeat of Craig, primarily) or through some combination of sensing a change about Jack, Jack and Kayla, or motherly intuition (the fact that Kayla had recently gone on the pill was also a clue).
• Double Standard Rape: Female on Male: Played With. By any legal definition, Amanda raped Jack by handcuffing him to his bed and giving him oral sex when he told her repeatedly to stop. Jack exhibits classic victim behaviors after this, suffering flashbacks, afraid to be alone with Amanda and constantly questioning her motives and trustworthiness. It takes years for their relationship to heal, but it does start to mend eventually, though neither of them use the word "rape" the few times they discuss the incident. They've pretty much gotten back to a good state before Amanda brings it up again and actually says that she raped him, but Jack refuses the term. It might have been rape by any definition you care to bring up, but he won't label it that. . . seemingly because he just can't let the sentence "my sister raped me" exist in his brain without his head exploding.
• Driven to Suicide:
  • Coach Walburn is around Christmas time, having lost his son due to military service months earlier, affecting his mood and behavior to the point he lost his job, wife, home, and everything else. He finally pulls the trigger after a brief conversation with Jack.
  • Because of witnessing Coach Walburn's suicide, when Alan starts talking about running away or killing himself after he and Amanda are broken up, Jack is able to recognize a certain set in Alan's gaze that says he's serious about it, prompting Jack to take drastic action to get some kind of improvement in his siblings' relationship.
• Dyeing for Your Art: Discussed In-Universe. In Jack's Acting II class at ISU, one of the exercises is "The Dickens Leap," where you pick a character from Dickens, make your appearance match as closely as possible, read the description of the character for the class, then deliver a line as the character, "leaping" into character. Jack chooses a character with a black eye, so Jack punches himself in the face. His professor advises him that method acting has its limits, and it would be easier and safer to just use makeup for the black eye.
• Epiphany Therapy: Downplayed. Dr. Fitzsimmons doesn’t need Jack to come in for regularly scheduled appointments, just give him a nudge clearly seeing the issues that are bothering him. He does, however, note that one session isn't enough to be "cured" and that the issues Jack is dealing with will require work to overcome. He just has confidence Jack and his support structures are up for it. And Jack can always schedule another appointment if he's not making headway.
• Flipping the Bird: What Jack and company plan to do their last day of high school: Stand outside the building and give it a big, fat middle finger. By the time all is said and done, the stuff Jack especially has suffered there makes it richly deserved.
• Foreshadowing:
  • Jack muses that if he and Brad ever got into a fight, it would be "Man of Steel Superman vs. Zod epic." It is, though not at all in the way he thought.
  • The Pipe Bomb Incident, which doesn’t happen until Jack's second year of college, is mentioned as early as Chapter 8.
  • In the Tara Saga, Jack tells Kayla that he can be an asshole too sometimes, and she challenges him to prove it. She'll get her wish later in the same Saga, and they'll both get more proof than they ever wanted come the Voyeur and Demons Sagas.
  • Kayla makes Jack promise he won't take it too hard if he fails to keep Alan and Amanda together. His failure to do exactly that leads to a minor psychological issue that has major effects on his behavior in the Voyeur Saga.
  • There are a few subtle hints throughout that Jack is not writing this story with Kayla by his side. Come Chapter 150, they stop being a couple, though remain close, perhaps to re-couple later, perhaps not.
• Gambit Roulette: Played realistically, with a side of Missing Steps Plan. Brad wanted to sleep with Amanda, and after Jack declined to set them up, allied with Jessica to mess with Jack by having Ted (Jessica's brother) put a gun in Jack's locker and attack Kayla in her home. Apparently, the point was that Amanda would grow so concerned about Jack being in trouble she'd go to Brad for help stopping it, and agree to a Sex for Services arrangement where he'd "help Jack" (stop messing with him). The missing step is how, precisely, Amanda was supposed to decide that Jack couldn't deal with his own problems and then proceed to go to Brad for help, instead of their parents, the police, any of Jack's other friends, and so on. The realistic part is that it flat-out doesn't work, and once the plan is explained, everyone thinks it's the absolute stupidest plan they've ever heard. Though it's implied Brad's jealousy and growing hatred for Jack lead to Brad's desire to screw up Jack's life, and "it'll end with Amanda sleeping with me" was the flimsy justification Brad was lying even to himself about.
• Grand Staircase Entrance: Downplayed, as it's the ordinary staircase of an ordinary suburban home, but Kayla reveals herself in this way before Jack takes her to Homecoming.
• Green-Eyed Monster:
  • Kayla's contribution to the drama surrounding the threesome with Tara. Kayla dramatically underestimated how jealous she would be seeing Jack with another woman. It also forms the core of Kayla's interactions with Jessica, as Jessica decided she was interested in Jack long about the same time Jack and Kayla decided they were interested in each other.
  • It's implied Brad quickly grew hatefully jealous of Jack for his relationship with Kayla, especially with Jack getting his V-card punched, leading to the above Gambit Roulette.
• Half-Identical Twins: Alan and Amanda initially play up their strong resemblance to each other to invoke this (with a side of Creepy Twins). Even after they desynch, it's noted they look too much like each other to be confused for anything but brother and sister.
• Heh Heh, You Said "X": Ah, the perils of being a high school phy ed teacher, starting a badminton segment, and having to say that the things being hit around in game of badminton are called "shuttlecocks."
  Joe: I'm sorry, what are they called?
  Ms. Cartwright: (beans one at him) Shuttlecocks. Now grab it and smack it around. Make a joke about that, wise guy.
• High-School Dance: Jack and Kayla become truly official after Homecoming sophomore year. The Junior and Senior Prom are given focus, but both are described as "very lame." And Jack was barred from Junior Prom thanks to getting involved in the prostitution ring. In general, Jack's not a fan of "dances." The music's too loud and he doesn't like the "flail like you think you know what you're doing" style of dance.
• Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Mr. and Mrs. Hannigan. Mr. Hannigan is large even by the standards of characters in this story, while Mrs. Hannigan is petite. Next to her husband, she's tiny.
• Hyperventilation Bag: One is used to help Jack come down from a panic attack at the police station after Coach Walburn's suicide.
• I Have Boobs, You Must Obey!: Discussed for chuckles when as part of some sexy play, Kayla "hypnotizes" Jack with her bare breasts.
  "You will do whatever I say. You are in my power."
  I grinned and adopted a low, lifeless voice. "I am in your power."
• I Need a Freaking Drink: More like "you need a freaking drink." After the gun is found in Jack's locker, his father is called to pick him up from school, and Jack is suspended pending the results of the investigation. Jack's dad gives him his first beer when they get home, stating he needs it.
  Mr. Harrison: You need one. You deserve one. If it’s going to be a day of firsts, might as well have a first that doesn’t involve police.
• I Need to Go Iron My Dog: Being teenagers, there are a few of these from the main characters.
  • Amanda, upon sensing awkwardness between Jack and Kayla:
    Amanda: I think I hear a thing down there. I’m just gonna go do... thing...
• I Never Said It Was Poison: As part of the Engineered Public Confession plan, Jack tricks Brad into implicating Ted in Kayla's attack, while Brad was protesting he was completely unaware of the plots.
• Intimate Lotion Application: When the gang is hanging out at the pool in Craig's place, Kayla flirtatiously asks Jack to help put sunscreen on, and naturally Jack agrees. Then Belle, who's annoyed Joe isn't paying attention to her, decides to make him jealous by also flirtatiously asking if Jack will help her too. It works, and even Jack sees what she's doing and agrees just to mess with Joe.
• I Shall Taunt You: Craig at Homecoming hurls all manner of invective at Jack, following him and Kayla out of school to keep it up, trying to goad Jack into taking a swing at him. He only succeeds in getting Kayla to start yelling at him, prompting him to slap her — and that gets Jack good and ready to beat the shit out of him.
• The Jailbait Wait: Kayla's birthday is a few months before Jack's, so she turns eighteen first. She invokes this trope to put him under a sex embargo until his eighteenth birthday. She did have an ulterior motive, though she denied it at the time, before asking Jack before they resume their intimacy if he learned the lesson she was trying to teach.
• Kissing Cousins: Distraught from another disastrous relationship with a bad boyfriend, Tara spends the night in Jack's bed for comfort. Blearily waking up, they kiss a little more intimately than cousins should, Jack takes it especially bad because of his relationship with Kayla. After she gets over this indiscretion, Kayla actually proposes a threesome with her, Jack, and Tara, under the reasoning that Tara deserves to be with someone who genuinely loves her at least once, and Kayla likes her well enough it should be all good and fun. Jack refuses for the moment, feeling everyone's emotions are just a bit too high for this to be a good idea. They revisit the threesome later as they vacation for a week at Kayla's parent's cabin, and the resulting awkwardness nearly destroys all involved relationships.
• Lampshaded Double Entendre: Constantly through the narrative, Jack will call out anything he writes that could have multiple meanings, telling the audience to get their minds out of the gutter, stop smirking, or simply noting "giggity" in parentheses.
• Last-Second Word Swap: After Kayla makes a fart joke.
  Jack: How do you have more bro than...
  Kayla: Than what?
  Jack: Than... not-bro?
  Kayla: Good save.
• Let's Fight Like Gentlemen: During a game of dodgeball, no less. Kayla's second day of school at Brow Ridge, first gym class, dodgeball teams whittled down to her and Craig vs. Jack. Jack has a ball and she doesn't, but he tells her to go get one and then they'll see who's better. Craig has a rather different idea.
• Like Brother and Sister: Jack and Tara consider themselves as close as genuine siblings, despite being cousins.
• Locked in a Room: When Jack gives the (extreme) Cliffnotes version of his sibling troubles to Ms. Cartwright, she suggests this trope, saying her mom used to do it to her and her siblings when they were kids. Jack is initially excited, but talking to Kayla reveals it's probably a really bad plan. Then Alan and Amanda's relationship deteriorates further, Alan starts talking fairly seriously about suicide, so Jack enacts this anyway, partly because it's at least something, mostly because Alan just bulls-eyed Jack's Trauma Button.
• Long Runner: The story is currently over 160 chapters in length, most of which are in the neighborhood of 20 pages. Chapter 147 marked the start of the seventeenth Saga, and each Saga is basically a complete novel in its own right. Yeah, there's a lot of reading material here.
• Love Cannot Overcome: Jack and Kayla really, truly love each other, but that alone isn't enough in the face of real life. They both have to work hard to keep their relationship going, sometimes with each other. . . and sometimes against each other. Most of the story's dramatic tension comes from them just trying to juggle their relationship and the demands of high school and then college.
• Lysistrata Gambit: Played for Laughs then Deconstructed.
  • When she starts giving Jack amateur singing lessons, Jack is unenthused about practicing. Kayla tells him to do so or she'll make him wait two weeks for sex, he says she can't make two more weeks. She concedes the point.
  • After the to-do with the prostitution ring, Kayla uses The Jailbait Wait to put Jack on sex embargo until his 18th birthday. She initially denies she has an ulterior motive, but eventually straight-up asks him if he learned the lesson she was trying to teach. She wanted them to work on being a couple without sex, so they'd have to deal with and talk about problems instead of porking to distract themselves. They're both desperate to resume their intimacy well before they actually do.
• Making Love in All the Wrong Places: Kayla decides to be daring and get busy with Jack at the aquarium of the local zoo.
• Marshmallow Hell: Vanessa hugs Jack's head to her chest (she's not normally significantly taller than he is, but he's sitting and she isn't) when he tells her about his grandfather breaking his hip. Jack notes that, while the circumstances mean it isn't arousing, he doesn't find it unpleasant.
• The Missus and the Ex: After the breakup, Kayla and Vanessa are attending a party Jack is throwing. Despite getting along quite well and knowing each other better than the other party-goers, they overhear some comments from Jack's friends to this effect, and decide to use this trope to mess with him a bit. Unfortunately, this leads to him deciding to face off with Graham in the parking lot instead of whatever has gotten into them, leading to the waterboarding.
• Mistaken for Cheating: Brad and Jessica's plan at the Halloween party (Brad directs Jack upstairs to a room where he and Kayla can have some alone time, promising to send Kayla up right away, instead trying to keep her distracted. Jessica's in the room, and tries to seduce Jack, with the idea being that Brad will let Kayla up just in time for Not What It Looks Like). Kayla and Jack see through it instantly, and play along just enough to turn the tables and get the meddlers to back off. Jessica would have, but Brad just gets angry.
• No-Holds-Barred Beatdown:
  • Jack and Craig at Homecoming. Craig gets a few licks in, and a thrown rock, but Jack puts a lot more hurt on him and Kayla gives him a solid right cross, ending the fight.
  • Jack, Joe, Alan, and Craig are all on the receiving end of one by Brad, enraged that Jack foiled his scheme and he's gotten in severe trouble for it. It takes the new gym teacher, Ms. Cartwright, to put him down, and he ends up arrested for assault.
  • Jack takes another from Don and his enforcers when Jack tries to steal the binder full of their high school hookers.
• Not Quite the Right Thing: When Jack and Kayla warn a girl Craig is talking to about what he's really like. Turns out, Craig actually really likes this girl, and having his chances wrecked devastates him.
• Ominously Open Door: In Chapter 12. Jack's taking out the trash, and finds Tori, Kayla's cat, outside and getting cozy with him. He sees her garage door is open, and immediately calls to warn her, the call cut off as she screams. Jack races over and drives off the attacker, Kayla is very rattled but unharmed.
• Parental Sexuality Squick: The Harrison kids towards their folks, often. Mrs. Harrison weaponizes it by threatening to talk about the kids being born, or even being conceived, when she really wants to motivate them. Kayla seems to have a more nonchalant attitude towards the idea of her parents being active, but she still doesn't require any of the details.
• Parents as People: Mostly with Mike and Hannah Harrison, as they're the ones we see the most. They're good people trying to do the best for their kids, but there are some things even they have no idea how to handle, and can only try their best to make what seems like a good decision. As with Alan and Amanda, how do you prepare to deal with your kids having sex with each other? Even more when it's clear they think it's more than just sex? The reasons for breaking Alan and Amanda up are valid, the harsh methods to make it happen understandable, but it leads to years of stress and strain in the Harrison household. Maybe letting it continue would have been better... maybe not.
  • When it comes to Alan and Amanda barely being able tolerate each other after Amanda starts dating Sam, they still don't help, or even encourage, them to mend their sibling relationship, because giving them any time truly alone to talk it out would be, as Mike puts it, "license to go back to what they were doing before." Resulting in Alan getting genuinely suicidal over how bad things have gotten, and Jack invoking Locked in a Room to try and sort things out — which only pisses off his dad.
• Person as Verb: When Jack and Kayla cockblock Craig.
  Kayla: Just stopping a girl from getting Craiged.
  Belle: Did you just verb 'Craig'?"
  Kayla: I did.
• The Plan: Oh, Jack's a schemer, alright. He actually has to start reining in this tendency after the prostitution ring, as that got him beat within an inch of his life, nearly arrested, censured by the high school and punished by his parents. Oh, and nearly cost him his relationship with Kayla.
  • The first plan isn't really Jack's. Brad decides he wants Amanda, so he and Jessica work together to mess with Jack, the idea being that Amanda will see how much trouble Jack is in, ask around for someone to help, which would somehow lead her to Brad, who would help after sleeping with her. Everyone involved lampshades how little sense this plan makes at any stage.
  • To get Brad, Jack, Kayla, and Jessica hatch a plan of their own. Making it look like Brad's gotten everything he wants: catching Jack and Jessica in bed so he can blackmail Jack into setting him up with Amanda, but that's just a distraction for Kayla to take Brad's phone and delete the picture he has of Jessica and her brother. And Jack's phone is on a speaker call to Brad's dad, who quickly comes to collect his son for being an idiot.
  • Jack becomes concerned that Belle, after her breakup with Joe, has gotten involved in the intramural prostitution ring. So enlists Kayla's help to stage an argument near someone he knows to be a client to put him in touch with the ring's operator, so Jack can see if Belle's involved. She's not. . . but Jack takes it upon himself to try and bring down the ring. This does not end well for him.
• Poor Communication Kills: Jessica not telling Jack what favor she wants from him after deciding, apparently just because she liked the thought of keeping him in suspense. Instead, she waits until the day tickets for the Homecoming dance go on sale before telling Jack she wants him to take her. Of course, Jack had already asked Kayla. If Jessica had simply told Jack a week earlier, he and Kayla might have talked it out and agreed. Instead... everything with Brad starts happen.
• Pop-Up Texting: Well, not quite, being a literary work, but text messages are important to the major characters. They're structured for the audience not unlike dialogue sections on This Very Wiki.
• Portmanteau Couple Name:invoked A few.
  • Kayla jokingly give her and Jack one that, thankfully, doesn't catch on.
    Kayla: We’re no longer Jack... no longer Kayla... we are... Kack!
• Riddle for the Ages: What were the marital issues Mr. and Mrs. Hannigan were having? Jack never finds out, so we never find out.
• Running Gag: Women have mind-reading powers.
• Safe, Sane, and Consensual: Jack and Kayla have a very healthy sexual relationship despite the fact they can get kinky. They can be hard and rough and talk dirty, or slow and sweet and tender, and will ask what each other is in the mood for as they get started. But even when they're trying to ram the bed through the wall, they're muttering about how much they love each other.
• Same-Sex Triplets: Averted. Jack, Alan, and Amanda are triplets, none of them identical. Alan and Amanda both have black hair and blue eyes, while Jack has brown hair and green eyes. Even he doesn't understand the genetics behind it.
• Satellite Love Interest: Kayla to Jack. Since the story is told in first-person from Jack's perspective, we only get to know Kayla through his eyes. And with much of the drama happening around and to Jack, their relationship and investment in it is often squeezed out. Played for Drama as this creates actual problems in their relationship, especially going into college, as Kayla is working hard on the courses she needs for her veterinary degree, and Jack is doing his best to be supportive while also wanting involve her in his life among the ISU theater department. In the second semester of sophomore year, this becomes more apparent, as Kayla asks Jack to give her more space so she has more time and energy to devote to her studies, culminating in her taking an internship over the summer in Des Moines, leaving Jack to go back home and spend the summer alone. Kayla actually states that she needs more "me things" in her life, rather than just sharing all friends and activities with Jack. This plays a role in them ultimately deciding to break up, as their relationship is no longer functioning and they need some time apart to grow as individuals and maybe come back together in a healthier way, or realize they really aren't meant to be and need to stop forcing it.
• School of Hard Knocks: Defied. Every time violence breaks out on Brow Ridge High grounds, someone gets in trouble. Most notable is when Coach Walburn decides wrestling will make a good physical education activity for the day, and has Jack and Craig (deep in their feud over Kayla) go at it. Kayla has the good sense to slip out and alert the vice principal, who puts a stop to it. Walburn is promptly fired.
• School Play: Since Jack is a theater student with a desire for acting to be his career, productions put on at Brow Ridge High and Iowa State University receive a large amount of story focus.
• Secret-Keeper:
  • Jack finds himself in this role often. It's sometimes complicated by Kayla's insistence that he be completely honest with her regarding anything she needs to know, but there are some things Jack still keeps to himself because she doesn't need to know (not that he has a problem telling us all about them).
    • Jack doesn't ever discuss Amanda raping him with anyone but Amanda. It's partly, again, a thing he feels Kayla doesn't need to know (especially once she and Amanda become friends), and discussing it with anyone else would both get Amanda in shitloads of trouble and force Jack to admit exactly what it was that happened, neither of which he's keen on doing.
    • He keeps the secret of Amanda and Alan's relationship to himself, it again being a thing Kayla doesn't need to know about because it doesn't affect her (at least, until Amanda and Alan get found out and Kayla witnesses it firsthand). She understands why Jack didn't tell her: it wasn't his secret to share.
• Share the Male Pain: Sometimes when describing a Groin Attack, Jack will apologize to male readers who are probably feeling it themselves. Other times, he'll state nearby men are wincing in sympathy, sometimes even at only the threat of one.
• Shipping Torpedo: A few times, Jack tells readers shipping him and Rhona "Knock it off. It's not going to happen."
• Shout-Out: Enough for its own page.
• Sickeningly Sweethearts: Jack and Kayla have their moments at this. Sometimes their friends will tease them for being nauseatingly cute together. Sometimes even Jack will excuse the audience if they feel the need to go vomit after a particularly sappy passage.
• Sickly Child Grew Up Strong: Alan and Amanda are a year behind Jack despite being the same age because childhood illness kept them from starting school at the same time he did. Whatever it was they got over it just fine, neither have any health issues in their late teens (Alan is actually more fit and stronger than Jack).
• Smoking Hot Sex: Discussed with a side of Cringe Comedy. The incredibly-awkward morning after the threesome with Tara, Jack makes the girls sandwiches. When asked why, he replies that none of them smoke, so sandwiches are the next best thing, and he isn't about to ask them to make him a sandwich because... feminism...
• Snark-to-Snark Combat: All over the place. Many characters are Deadpan Snarkers or rudely sarcastic, and even the ones who aren't witty can usually keep up through sheer effort (for a time, anyway).
  • Jack gets it from his dad.
    Jack: (on seeing Tara only brought two suitcases) What did you need my help for? You've got two hands.
    Mr. Harrison: And you've got a smart mouth, which is why you're giving me a hand.
    Jack: I didn't have a smart mouth until just now.
    Mr. Harrison: But I knew you were going to have one, so I just—
    Jack: (takes a suitcase and walks away)
  • One of the best examples is when Tara (showing off her runner's legs in short shorts) meets Rhona (currently with red-and-green hair).
    Rhona: Nice legs. You get them chiseled out of marble?
    Tara: Nice hair. Did you taste the rainbow?
    Rhona: Yeah. I was all out of my normal steroids after you bought out the store.
    Tara: Yeah, I think I saw you while I was driving over. You were turning your head to tell me I could drive through the intersection.
    Rhona: Legs like that and you're still driving? Convenient travel isn't always an excuse for laziness.
    Tara: And hipster hair styling isn't always a substitute for cool.
    Jack: (starts backing away slowly)
    Rhona: I like her.
• Stress Vomit: Jack gets repeated bouts of this after Coach Walburn's suicide.
• Surprisingly Realistic Outcome:
  • Finding what seems to be evidence Craig attacked Kayla in her home, Jack rushes out to confront him, finding him at the bar he frequents because his cousin works there. The bar's bouncer backs Craig, and Jack gets beat down. Not quite the heroic redress of wrongs he was hoping for. Then, Jack's parents point out that Craig could press charges, since he could claim self-defense and it would be his word against Jack's.
  • A schoolyard fight instigated by a student removed from school by his parents because of masterminding criminal activities targeted at another student, specifically the one he starts the fight with after his plot is revealed? In the parking lot before school so almost the entire student body is witness? Yeah, enjoy your time in juvie for assault, Brad Nightingale.
  • New gym teacher Ms. Cartwright karate chops Brad to end a schoolyard brawl and keep him from doing extreme damage to Jack. She gets in trouble for putting her hands on a student, even if it was in defense of another student.
  • Jack witnesses Coach Walburn commit suicide right in front of him. This haunts him for the remainder of the story, and he requires a professional psychiatrist to help him through the immediate aftermath.
  • Kayla talks Jack and Tara into a threesome. None of them are emotionally mature enough to handle it, and it very nearly destroys all involved relationships. Jack and Kayla require professional counseling to move through it.
  • Jack tries to singlehandedly take down the intramural prostitution ring. This gets him beaten within an inch of his life, in trouble with school authorities and police for interfering, in trouble with his parents, and strains his relationship with Kayla almost to breaking.
• Take That!: Being an aspiring actor with a passion for showbusiness, Jack is not shy about expressing his opinions regarding the entertainment industry in general or specific actors.
  • He may not be able to sing, but he firmly believes Cher Lloyd can't, either. In the car with Kayla, he can't turn the radio off fast enough when "Want U Back" comes on. Kayla turns it back on under the logic that if Jack legitimately hates something, it must be a special brand of awful.
  • A bit of good-natured back-and-forth between Jack and GameStop manager Frank.
    Jack: And I'd like a Michael Bay film that doesn't suck. What you gonna do?
    Frank: The man knows explosions!
    Jack: But not how to use them!
  • Jack describes trying to wheedle information out of Kayla and Tara as "like listening to a Flo Rida song: painful and pointless."
  • When he and Aaron discuss "advanced acting," Aaron warns about how to portray disabilities. Jack ruminate that, while you may not be able to find talented actors of every conceivable combination, if you can't or won't find an actor who fits the story you want to tell, maybe you should reconsider why you want to tell it.
    Looking at you, Sia
  • Jack thinks Rent is a horrendous musical.
• Teacher/Student Romance: Not What It Looks Like. Jack has a pretty warm relationship with Ms. Cartwright (due in part to her assistance in the fight with Brad), though she later starts discouraging him by saying they're getting "too familiar." Returning a year later for Alan and Amanda's graduation, Jack asks her what that was all about, and she replies that some of the other teachers were teasing her that she had her eye on Jack. She didn't, and they likely knew that (otherwise there would have been stern talkings-to instead of teasing), but she tried to distance them to shield him from it.
• That Came Out Wrong: Played for Drama with how Jack gets Amanda to stop from going all the way with him while she has him handcuffed. She asks "Don't you want to lose your virginity to someone you love?" He replies "Yeah, but you're my sister. I want to lose it someone I actually care about." Jack immediately realizes he just said that he doesn't care about his sister, leaving her emotionally crushed. He regrets it, and it takes some time for them to recover but... well, she was trying to rape him at the time.
• Their First Time: Jack and Kayla after Homecoming. They'd thought about it, talked about it a little (mostly in terms of not pressuring each other and waiting until the time was right), and now it is. And it's amazing for both of them. Note that it also comes on the heels of them being ready to say "I love you" to each other. Except Kayla neglects to mention to Jack that it's not her first time.
• Theme Twin Naming: Apparently, Mr. and Mrs. Harrison knew Alan and Amanda would be more like each other and Jack would be the odd man out.
• There Are No Therapists: Downplayed. Jack seeks professional help with his issues from Dr. Fitzsimmons a handful of times, but when he finds the good doctor's number now connects to an insurance agency, Jack doesn't think to look if Fitzsimmons moved offices or look up another psychiatrist in the area.
  • After the car accident, Jack is referred to another psychologist, Dr. Julius, to help cope with the event. He's initially resistant, but gives in quickly, and she gives him some very on-point advice. He continues to see her until he goes back to college.
• Title Drop: The last line of Chapter 8, the final chapter of "The Kayla Saga," is also the story's title.
• Trap Is the Only Option: Despite being fairly certain Jessica's invitation to her Halloween party is a trap, Jack and Kayla decide to walk in, planning to turn it around on her.
• Wham Episode: Given the story's length, there are several of these.
  • Chapter 32: Jack says yes to the threesome with Kayla and Tara. Chapter 33: It goes disastrously.
  • Chapter 146: Craig reveals that he and Becca aren't planning their wedding — well, they were until she dumped him, and he wants Jack and Joe to help him win her back. As Craig is driving Jack back home, the car is hit by a truck, and Craig is killed.
  • Chapter 150: The Whammiest of all Whams, given the title... Jack and Kayla break up.
  • Chapter 171: After half a year apart and dating other people, Jack and Kayla get back together!
• What the Hell, Hero?: Frequently.
  • In Chapter 13, Joe lets Jack have it for running off in Tranquil Fury and leaving Kayla in his house with Alan and Amanda after Kayla was attacked in a home invasion. No matter how dumb rushing off to confront the potential attacker was, Kayla needed Jack with her more than off seeking vengeance. Amanda and his parents echo the basic sentiment.
• Wild Teen Party: A few, though Jack isn't really the partying type.
  • Jessica's Halloween party is a major turning point in the Jessica Saga.
• You Have to Believe Me!: After the gun is found in Jack's locker, the police and school authorities are questioning him, and this trope comes out — but not from Jack. Kayla is the one who angrily rants about how stupid obvious it is Jack is innocent, and how stupid easy it should be to prove. She raises some good points, and they are admitted, but her fervor does get in the way of both Jack defending himself and the cops getting the information they need from him.
• You Owe Me: While Kayla is dating Craig, Jack wants to warn her about his Jerkassery but doesn't want to be breaking them up just so he can have her. So he asks Jessica to clue Kayla in on what Craig is really like. Jessica agrees, in exchange for a future favor from Jack. Knowing it's a bad idea, Jack agrees. She insists he take her to Homecoming, after he'd already asked Kayla. Jack refuses, which sets the stage for all the Jessica drama to follow.

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